Hmmm.. Where the hell did my sex drive go?

Kristie - posted on 01/28/2010

I don't know where it went either. I had my daughter about 4 months ago, and as time has gone on sex is further and further away from what I want right now. During my pregnancy that was all I wanted. Now I don't want anything to do w/ it. I feel bad for my hubby too. before I could use the excuse that we can't b/c I hadn't gone for my 6 week check, but that has passed. Now I don't have an excuse. I love my hubby, I just don't want sex right. Men take it so personnal.

Rachael - posted on 01/28/2010

bad body* image I meant. ; )

Rachael - posted on 01/28/2010

You know what?! Everyone is different. I totally lost mine when I got pregnant, but not long after I had my son, it got better. lol. I think mine was a combo of low self esteem and bad boy image and the hormones. It will get better. I know when you feel sexy, it helps, so pamper yourself and talk to your husband/partner about it. Keep him informed. Good luck!!

Kylene - posted on 01/28/2010

I never lost mine....am I weird for that?

Nicole - posted on 01/28/2010

yeahh, im not as sexual as i used to be. my ex couldn't understand why. he always wanted sex and i was just not in the mood.

Katrina - posted on 01/28/2010

I know exactly how you feel, mine also seems to have run away.

Kae - posted on 01/28/2010

yes!!! please, mine too!!!!

Charity - posted on 01/28/2010

tamara, i was reading yours, i also had my tubes tied after this last baby. she is now 4 months old and i have NO sex drive at all.my other kids it came back about 6 weeks later. with this last one,NOTHING i really think its cause of my tubes,and everyone says i'm crazy.i'm glad to hear someone else has this problem.

Arlene - posted on 01/28/2010

I lost my sex drive a week before I gave birth it's been 2 years now and I still cant seem to find it!!! But i havent lost hope!!!

Misty - posted on 01/27/2010

Mine came back after my kids were 1 1/2 and and 9 mths.. lol It will happen

Andrea - posted on 01/27/2010

i know how you feel. after my second child i have no sex drive. and my poor husband thinks its him, i told him its not you it has got to be a inbalance in my body. cause after my first was born i had an even higher sex drive then before i had kids. so its like i went from one extreem to another! I SURE DO MISS IT!!!! if i could afford it i would go to the doctor but for now i just have to wait it out i guess.

Karina - posted on 01/27/2010

Lacey it sounds like PHYSICALLY you lost your sex drive....but MENTALLY you still have it ....and that should get your motors running....if your thinking about it your soon going to be wanting to do it....and one more thing....DO NOT PLAN SEX...just do whenever,however and wherever!!!
Good luck!

Haley - posted on 01/27/2010

i lost mine after i had my daughter in aug 07 i just had my son in dec 09 and mine is finally starting to sneak back it dont know know if it wants to stay or run away again! lol

Agnes - posted on 01/27/2010

Wish I can help...you can ask my husband, his seems to have ran away too!! Mine stronger then ever! A month ago I had a c section and I been ready to go for about a week now!

Natassja - posted on 01/27/2010

that happened to me too i think its cuz ur so busy all the time looking after everyone that u just want to go to bed, and when u do have a free moment u want to do something for yourself!!!!!

Jessie - posted on 01/27/2010

mine and yours are on vacation together... for the last 6 months. *sigh*

Kaylene - posted on 01/27/2010

I know exactly how you ladies feel! My sex drive is completely shot!! My boyfriend is this sex machine who wants it 24/7 and im only willing to do it...well lets just say its not often! I feel TERRIBLE cuz I know he has needs that should be met as well but I cant help that I cannot find it in me to get INTO IT! It sucks, hope mine comes back again after this baby!!

Alyson - posted on 01/27/2010

lol yeah i lost mine for ova a year with my first and nearly 2yrs with my second i swear it does just go on a holiday and it must be that good it dont want to come back lol

Sara - posted on 01/27/2010

Its nice to know that I am not the only one! When my husband comes home I am already thinking of excuses.....And when we do have sex I am glad when it is over. Is it going to stay like this? I hate feeling like this and he is starting to think something is up!

Stevie - posted on 01/27/2010

no crap i dont have a sex drive at all i feel bad that i dont have it anymore i would like it back too it sure does take an advantage of sex feeling when we do have sex my son is 14 months old and i still dont have it and i hate it

Rachel - posted on 01/27/2010

You know between stress, being tired, taking care of the baby, and worried you might have another too soon might be some factors on why it wouldn't be around. I know those are some factors why I'm not the mood as much as I used to be and sadly my daughter is almost 2 1/2 years old. I sometimes feel bad for my fiance because I will be in the mood when he's not and vis versa. I'm sure things will get better at some point.

Kiara-marie - posted on 01/27/2010

im different im not horny for sex when pregnant. well at the start was normal but near half way and till the end im not. but after i had our son within 4 weeks after i wanted it all the time so we did now im due in 10 weeks 2 days having a girl this time round and the same as last time not feeling like it. our daughter is due the 10th april . and our son turns one on the 19th april. so him and his sister are only 11 months 3 weeks 2 days apart sort of thing. well its 11 months 3 weeks 2 days because his birthday is 1 week 2 days after her due date so its got only a week not on it there

Demetria - posted on 01/27/2010

Yeah, four months and we just finally had sex that I enjoyed. I read this book by a first time mother that was great! She said "A lot of women feel that if they don't feel like having sex, they shouldn't force themselves. But think about it, when you stop going to the gym the last thing you want to do is spend 45 mins on the treadmill right? But you take a hard look at your flabby thighs and you make yourself go. Well think of your sex life as flabby thighs and make yourself go and do it. Its not going to tone itself! Just as with the gym, you may have to force yourself the first time back." (Sippy Cups are not for Chardonnay by Stephanie Wilder-Taylor)



Also, I reward my husband with sex if he helps out around the house! Do the laundry? Sex! Clean the bathroom? Sex! Put the baby to bed while I relax in the tub? SEX!!

Christina - posted on 01/27/2010

I totally i agree with you. My boyfriend and I get into arguements all the time. Because im never horny lol... And i have no problem not having sex. It doesnt bother me. I have to force myself to have sex with him sometimes just so he can shut up..

Alicia - posted on 01/27/2010

I lost mine at the beginning of my pregnancy. My husband's really frustrated about that right now. I cant wait till i can get it back....but please, tell me its not gonna take THAT long!

Lara - posted on 01/27/2010

yup my daughter is 3 soon and i still havent found it. to me its just another chore i have to do every few days. (or weeks). its not good. just ask my partner.

Rachel - posted on 01/27/2010

If you find it, let me know. I lost it about a month after I got pregnant and it's not back yet. My son's 6 months old.

Audra - posted on 01/27/2010

Me too. I have an almost 3 year old and an 18 month old. I haven't wanted sex for over 3 years now. The husband is starting to get a little ticked off. But, I just would much rather go to sleep than have sex:)

Leann - posted on 01/27/2010

I never thought about the birth control but that could be my problem I have been on the same kind since I had my 2 yr old so maybe that could be my problem

Corrie - posted on 01/27/2010

mine is gone! apparently breastfeeding can lower your sex drive as a way of keeping your from getting pregnant again so your milk supply doesn't dry up on the baby you are currently nursing, but well, that wasn't the case for me, I stopped nursing and still have no interest in sex, :\

Leann - posted on 01/27/2010

I know the feeling after I had my now 2 yr old it kind of flew out the window It has got to be something with having kids and being so tired all the time that your just not in the mood.

Brittney - posted on 01/27/2010

Here I am, almost 3 years now, after having my girl and I STILL have like no drive for it at all. I had it back for like a little less than a month and then it left again! And not to mention, I have had such a hard time losing the weight I've gained from getting pregnant that I do not want to even have my husband lay one eye on my body!

Amy - posted on 01/27/2010

took me a good 6 months!

Shannon - posted on 01/27/2010

something Funny....the whole time I was preganat with my middle baby...I could not get enough I was wearing my Poor Husband out...after I had her it was still there just not as intese because of the triedness....Now I am 8 months along with my third and I NO drive at all...Mu poor husband is wondering what in the world happened? he has to make the first move on now.... SO I am hopping that it will come back after Katie.

Melody - posted on 01/27/2010

Lol... Sweetie that happens to almost every woman I know... Its because were healing and worried about taking care of the baby, and our body is still recovering from giving birth to that baby. You will get it back but it will take some time, Just don't forget to have mommy time for your self.

Tina - posted on 01/27/2010

my drive has been gone for four long years!!!! it would be awesome to get it back and my hubby would really really like it to find its way back to me !!!!

Anna - posted on 01/27/2010

Mine got a on very long holiday when I got pregnant...returned shortly when I was about 4/5 months pregnant but my beloved hubby was deployed at the time. Poor bugger.
And I haven't seen it since.

Jennifer - posted on 01/26/2010

Hey, yeh mine ran away and has really struggled to return. my baby is now 13 months old and i still often find it a chore to have sex. ive been told it will return with time, but so far, no dice. :(

Melissa - posted on 01/26/2010

maybe yours ran away with mine, I still don't have one . . . . . and my son is almost 10 months. I feel bad for my husband, he's being so patient with me and that situation. I'm sure it'll come back but we just have to give it time . . . . . maybe it got scared off with all the crying from our kids . . .lol!

Crystal - posted on 01/26/2010

When on Contraceptive I became what my husband calls an Ice queen. we went off contraceptive and fell pregnant where I as my husband say I got angry at the world and he was part of that world. I sought help from a female pastor at my church who is my mentor and she gave me the best advice. To still have sex!!! though I didn't want to at the time it was the best thing for my marriage. Guys tend to want it more then women and I was just at peace with being pregnant. I put my lack of desire aside and fulfilled my husbands desire for intimacy. He felt loved, cared for and desired and as a result I felt cherished as his wife. So now after baby I still don't feel like it but seeing him happy means more to me than a disappointed husband who is resenting me because I won't have sex with him. so I plan it and spend the day getting myself in the right mind set to be intimate with my husband, shave my legs, wax my eyebrows, do my hair and put on something sexy. then surprise him when he gets home from work. I don't feel like it but I can't expect him to wait until I feel like it. As who knows when I'm ever going to feel like it. But I can try and get myself on the road to wanting it. As I have heard the more you do it the more you want it.

Jessica - posted on 01/26/2010

Yea mine is gone to I have no idea why or how.

Ashley - posted on 01/26/2010

Haha me to.it went out the window somewhere. if u have a plan for getting it back let me know please

Kelli - posted on 01/26/2010

I thought mine was gone forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But when my son got to be about 6/7 mos it finally started coming back, the thing now is my... um... tastes have changed, my poor husband is soooo confused! LOL, what I loved at one point now makes me cringe, lol, he's such a good guy though, he's just going with the flow, and I'm finally starting to feel like my old self again, it's taken 9 mos though, be patient, it'll get better!

Cleo - posted on 01/26/2010

it's totally normal just give yourself some time

Amanda - posted on 01/26/2010

I lost mine after both babies. I had some blood work done and found I was low in progesterone, estrogen, and testosterone... so it totally made sense. I take natural progesterone, combine that with running, no sugar, and getting more sleep it came back pretty fast. Luckily my poor husband was patient and understanding. The libido is completely controlled by your hormone levels from what I understand so get those fixed and you are on your way to romantic bliss again. Exercise doesn't hurt either. Btw, stay away from any synthetic hormones, and find a good dr. who specializes in them.

Emmylou - posted on 01/26/2010

mine has been comin and goin sinca i had my first bub three years ago, now i've had number two it's started all over again.

Janis - posted on 01/26/2010

dont feel bad the father of mine just left me too

Spirit - posted on 01/26/2010

I did to. And my poor husband is driving me insane about it!!

Natalie - posted on 01/26/2010

I'm 13 weeks pregnant now, the first few weeks i wanted sex a lot but then it slowed down and no it's almost don to zero... i feel so sorry for my hubby, we're both usually very sexual people.
After my 1st was born i had no issues wanting ti again soon after birth, with my 2nd after she was born i needed a while to get back as well, i think maybe 6 months or more.... we'll see how it goes with this one

Stevie - posted on 01/26/2010

Mine isn't completely gone..I can't wait for my checkup with the doctor to get the go ahead...while I know it won't be where it was I'm just so ready to have that intimacy back.