Home Births

Alaw - posted on 05/19/2009 ( 20 moms have responded )

38

35

4

I had the worst hospital birth with my son a year ago (he will be one tomorrow), although I went into labour by my self, I had to be put on a drip half way through as I was told I was progressing too slow, forced to have an epidural, forceps, episiotomy, the works. After 18 hours active labour and two and a half hours pushing, he was born badly bruised from the forceps and me and my partner were quite traumatised by what had happened.

He was five months old when I found out I was pregnant again and I am terrified of a repeat performance! I've discussed the situation with my midwife and consultant and we came to the conclusion that the hospital was too ready to interfere to speed things up and if I had been left to labour in my own way things would have happened quicker and had a more possitve out come.

This time how ever I am opting for a home birth as I am petrified of going to hospital. I am just wondering if there are any other mum's out there who have or are going through a similar experience and what advice would you give?! My due date is fast approaching and I really want a positive birth experiece but Im scared to death of what might happen which I think is causing unneccecary stress!

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!!!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

20 Comments

View replies by

Rooja - posted on 05/24/2009

30

0

0

personally, i would be TERRIFIED. if God forbid some complication occured, or baby's heartbeat wasnt strong due to the trauma of long labour, i wouldnt even know that at home.
But ofcourse you know what best suits you and your personality.
Just make sure you are in contact with some doctor and hopsital too, and that medical care facility is nearby .. so that if GOD FORBID u sense something is wrong, you can rush to the hopsital

Guggie - posted on 05/22/2009

454

3

21

Quoting Natalie:

I am 25 weeks pregnant myself with my second child! I was 20 when I had my first and the nurses treated me so badly cause they thought that I was younger! I was also induced! That day my doctor was delivering like seven different girls at a time! SO when it came time and I was ready to push my doctor wasnt there! They had nerve to tell me not to push and to keep him in! I think that hurt more than labour itself! How do you keep a child in when contractions and everything else is pushing down? I would still like to know how I got through that one! So since that experience I said that I rather a home birth and am all for it! I have a midwife and plan on having a home birth anyways! As long as that is what you want go for it!



Age discrimination seems so rampant in the birthing world! It's disgusting. I had a coworker who was originally just going to be at the birth to videotape her neice's delivery. Well, they were treating the niece (17yo) so badly that the videotape is now going to be used as evidence for pressing assault charges against the doctor.



 



What is wrong with people!!! AGH

Natalie - posted on 05/22/2009

143

9

18

I am 25 weeks pregnant myself with my second child! I was 20 when I had my first and the nurses treated me so badly cause they thought that I was younger! I was also induced! That day my doctor was delivering like seven different girls at a time! SO when it came time and I was ready to push my doctor wasnt there! They had nerve to tell me not to push and to keep him in! I think that hurt more than labour itself! How do you keep a child in when contractions and everything else is pushing down? I would still like to know how I got through that one! So since that experience I said that I rather a home birth and am all for it! I have a midwife and plan on having a home birth anyways! As long as that is what you want go for it!

Crystal - posted on 05/20/2009

15

11

0

Quoting Alaw:



Quoting Crystal:

I don't know, personally I'd be more scared to have a dangerous complication occur during labor and not have the resources of the NICU team available. Sometimes seconds count. Perhaps there is another hospital in your area that is well-experienced in births? Look up the number of births annually and the corresponding stats for types of births, etc. Also, you can always tell them "no" about aggressively speeding up the labor unless the baby is in distress. I'm also surprised that they "forced" you to have an epidural, since definitely in my particular experience any pain medication was administered only by my request. Maybe just the difference in hospitals?






I would just like to clarify that I would never put my baby or my self at risk, and my partner, midwife and consultant are 100% behind my decision as they don't forsee any problems. If something does happen during labour then I only live a minute away from the ambulance service and three miles away from a midwifery led birthing unit! Im quite annoyed that you find it "surprising" that I was forced an epidural, sitting on that hospital bed facing surgeons and consultants threatning me with a c-section under anasthetic if I would not co-operate was the most scared I've ever felt!! Which option would you choose under that situation?? Any way, thanx for your replay!x






I apologize, as I didn't mean to "annoy" you with my answer.  There are two sides to every story, and we obviously are unable to hear what concerns the medical team may have had to give them cause to present you with that option.  If you only wanted to drum up support for the home birth you apparently already decided to have then I guess you found the majority of posters to agree with you.  I was not so fortunate to have an easy, uncomplicated birth where the NICU team didn't have to get involved.  Would that we would all be so lucky to have such perfect experiences.  Best of luck to you and your birth experience. 

Helen - posted on 05/19/2009

89

27

14

The best piece of advise i could give is to belive in yourself. Think positive thoughts. I have had 2 home births, 1 in the uk and 1 in Australia. I would not trade my experiences for the world. We love music and so both our kids were born to music, i walked a lot with my second and with my first i sat quietly on a beanbag. With my first i found it easier to focus on the labour although it was longer 18 1/2 hours but with my second she was back to back and eventually the pain got to me. After a few tears i got myself togethr again with the encouragement of my husband and 2 hours later our daughter was born. I set myself up in our room with oils, music, water and a few snacks. I would walk the length of the house until the contractions got so bad i could walk anymore. That really helped me. I hope you have a great experience just as i have.

Ann - posted on 05/19/2009

43

5

0

I have 1 DS and 1 DD, both were born in the hospital and were pretty easy, but this time i'm having a home birth as i'm away from all friends and most family. With both DS & DD the first stage was slow and almost stopped by the time I got to the hospital. But 2nd stage was a bit faster. This time I am hoping that it will go a lot faster as i'll be more relaxed at home and have the whole house to move about in. As you say you are pretty close to the hospital if there are complications, the midwife will be with you at home for support and should be doing anything she can to keep you their. Usually the ambulance is on standby if anything were to happen.
I hope you get the home birth you want.

Richelle - posted on 05/19/2009

26

36

1

Quoting Alaw:

I would like to thank every one on their positive feedback. I feel much better after reading your responses! Thanks again every one!xxx


I sincerely hope that your pregnancy and birth goes well and very smooth..  Keep a positive attidtude cause there are so many people out there with negative thoughts and attitudes and will try and sway your decision about all of this ,you know in your heart what is right for you and your baby

Alaw - posted on 05/19/2009

38

35

4

I would like to thank every one on their positive feedback. I feel much better after reading your responses! Thanks again every one!xxx

Richelle - posted on 05/19/2009

26

36

1

Well I have one son and had him in the hospital and it was a long labor and a long time pushing but overall it was really good experience... I'm sorry to hear that your experience was not good. I think that there can be complications both ways in hospital or at home and you need to do what you feel comfortable with because if you are stressed about a hospital then I personally believe the baby would be stressed as well and vice versa. I was wondering how far you live away from a hospital if complications do arise during labor and the midwifery birthing unit-do they have all the resources that a hospital does? Its funny how heated some of these conversations can get when really I think we can all agree on is that we just want our babies to be ok however and wherever we have them.

Sara - posted on 05/19/2009

9,313

50

584

Due to complications, I had to give birth in a hospital, but had a good experience. I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience! I think this is what people mean when they talk about the "business of being born". It's like they didn't care about you or what you wanted. I think it's great that you are having a homebirth. I think that midwives are wonderful and I wish you all the best! Just remember your breathing (I found that very helpful in my labor experience) and remember that this is what we are made to do as women. Please let us know how it goes! :)

Lindsay - posted on 05/19/2009

3,532

26

266

I've had two hospital births, and luckily they were both great experiences. I'm sorry yours was not! Personally, a home birth would be more stressful than relaxing for me becasue I would be worried that something would go wrong. That's just me, I know there are tons of people that had home births and thought it was great. I would just say, and I'm sure you already do, to have a plan for any possible scenerio so if something does happen out of the norm, everyone knows what to do. Sometimes minuntes and seconds count, so I would just make sure you know all the risks and plan very well! Good luck to you and your new baby!

[deleted account]

Theres a rather heated debate about this going on in another forum thread between the people who've been traumatised by a hospital birth and the people who've had traumatic births in hospitals. Nowhere in the arguement have I seen anyone post the same arguement about these factors in a home birth.

Yes things can go wrong with any pregnancy, but if any dangerous factors prop up before you go into labour, any sane midwife won't take the risk and you'll be sent to hospital anyway. Even during labour they are ready to call an ambulence if needed.



My homebirth was much better than my hospital birth. The only thing my midwife did to speed things up was making me walk up and down the stairs. More painful 'yes'( lack of drugs), but much also much quicker and easier in every other way.

Gemma - posted on 05/19/2009

207

22

40

My labour with my only child Madison lasted 64 hours. I had my son in hospital, I lasted 40 hours with a tens machiene, I then had an epidural that was suggested but not forced. It was a relive to be honest. My son was then delivered vaginally using the vontous cap which didn't work, I then had an episiotomy and then forceps. My son was born with a scratched nose but was fine otherwise. I soon recovered aswell. I would never have a home birth because I live more than 30 minutes away from the hosipital. My experience was bad but that was not the fault of the hospital sometimes life just sucks. Good Luck and your son is gorgeous. Oh and keep us posted when your new baby arrives

Robyn - posted on 05/19/2009

2

16

0

Sounds pretty traumatic! My daughter was born at home this past November and I can't imagine having had her anywhere else. When you're in a stressful environment, things are going to progress slower and may even stop for a while. When your in a comfortable environment (your own home and surroundings) your body is more relaxed and it can do what it is meant to do. Home births are completely safe and as long as you have a professional (midwife) there who knows what they're doing, everything will be just fine.



This is a decision that only you can make. Personally, I obviously will only do home births. My labor with my daughter, who is my first, was only 8 hrs and I pushed for less than 30 minutes. If you do decide to do a home birth, look into a birthing pool. These are very relaxing and help a ton with the contractions. It's a great transition for you baby as well. My daughter didn't even cry and now she LOVES water! Good luck with your babies and whatever decision you decide to make:)

Natalie - posted on 05/19/2009

16

10

2

I have had 2 hospital births (with ex) & 2 home births. i enjoyed my homebiths more as i didnt have 2 worry about my 2 older boys, mum came over when my contractions started to give suport 2 my husband, kids & me. my 2nd hospital birth was just after split up with his dad so it was a bit tence. if u want 2 chat im here 2 answer any questions

Alaw - posted on 05/19/2009

38

35

4

Quoting Crystal:

I don't know, personally I'd be more scared to have a dangerous complication occur during labor and not have the resources of the NICU team available. Sometimes seconds count. Perhaps there is another hospital in your area that is well-experienced in births? Look up the number of births annually and the corresponding stats for types of births, etc. Also, you can always tell them "no" about aggressively speeding up the labor unless the baby is in distress. I'm also surprised that they "forced" you to have an epidural, since definitely in my particular experience any pain medication was administered only by my request. Maybe just the difference in hospitals?



I would just like to clarify that I would never put my baby or my self at risk, and my partner, midwife and consultant are 100% behind my decision as they don't forsee any problems. If something does happen during labour then I only live a minute away from the ambulance service and three miles away from a midwifery led birthing unit! Im quite annoyed that you find it "surprising" that I was forced an epidural, sitting on that hospital bed facing surgeons and consultants threatning me with a c-section under anasthetic if I would not co-operate was the most scared I've ever felt!! Which option would you choose under that situation?? Any way, thanx for your replay!x

Crystal - posted on 05/19/2009

15

11

0

I don't know, personally I'd be more scared to have a dangerous complication occur during labor and not have the resources of the NICU team available. Sometimes seconds count. Perhaps there is another hospital in your area that is well-experienced in births? Look up the number of births annually and the corresponding stats for types of births, etc. Also, you can always tell them "no" about aggressively speeding up the labor unless the baby is in distress. I'm also surprised that they "forced" you to have an epidural, since definitely in my particular experience any pain medication was administered only by my request. Maybe just the difference in hospitals?

Sarah - posted on 05/19/2009

11

33

0

i have had two home births and two in hospital your more relaxed at home and i found it alot easier there then in hospital.

Kylie - posted on 05/19/2009

75

15

10

Wow.....that sounds horrid. You poor thing, that would gave been so traumatic. I havent had this situation so i cant really offer advice, but i just wanted to say that i think your doing the right thing by having a home birth. At the very least i would definately be changing hospitals. I hope that all goes well for you, and dont let one (really)bad experience stop you from going to hospital if that is what is really needed, cos usually the do more good them harm. :) Good luck xx

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms