how did you decide you wanted more children?

Lindsey - posted on 08/27/2010 ( 52 moms have responded )

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my son is almost a year and i have thought about more children but i just cant decide.there is so much to think about and decide on i dont know if i want more or not.for those with more than one child,how did you decide you wanted more children?

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Rhonda - posted on 09/03/2010

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I always wanted 2 kids. After I had my son I still had this want for one more. Every time I saw a pregnant woman I would envy her or if I saw a newborn the same thing would happen. So , my husband and I planned our 2nd when our son was 1. We got preggo right away and I got my little girl. I know I'm done now because when I see a pregnant woman or a newborn I think , I'm glad that's not me! Lol Where before I wanted it and now I know I'm done because I have no desire to have more. I think we all know what we want. Maybe not mentally but emotionally like how I did. Hope this helps.

Schyla - posted on 08/28/2010

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My suggestion is to first ignore your head for a bit and see what your heart says because the things your head are telling you you can work out there will never be enough money or enough space, Now I'm not saying to throw all that out the window Just that you will work out that stuff as you go along, My husband and I are expecting number three in december and we have an almost 5 and an almost 3 year old He works 30 hours a week for miniumum wage and we have cut cost anyway we can. 1 we paid off our house a few years ago 2 we paid off both of our cars and 3 we use cloth diapers We have reduced our waste by recycling and we buy in bulk and I do a lot pre-making meals (I make twice what we'll eat and freeze the left overs for later) Having another baby is a choice between you and your mate I wasn't ready when number one or number two made themselves known but we wanted number three

Clara - posted on 09/04/2010

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I had four kids in five years (all single births) and I totally love it!! Life does get crazy, for sure but I know that the important thing is that I have not one but four of the most amazing little people in my life. I totally agree with all of the women that say that you are never really ready for it. If you feel like you should or want to have more, than do it. Do you want an only child? I love the fact that my children will have sibling to grow up with and learn to share and cooperate with. And when I am gone they will still have family and loved ones to go through life with. Like I said, life will get a little hectic, even with just two, but what is more important? You don't want to ignore those urges and wind up really wanting more children and not being able to have them. There is always going to be something in the way....just do it!!!

Katie - posted on 09/02/2010

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Hey Lindsey!

You asked if you will be able to handle it....well, to tell you the truth, I feel that no one can really handle it until it is "sitting in their lap" Becoming a mother is not an easy task, esp the second time around! but the good thing about it, is that your not tossed a toddler who refuses to follow directions. It is a growing process between you and your little ones. There is ALWAYS a period of adjustment, and going into something knowing may make it easier. When I had my 2nd, I had the baby blues really bad. I was either angry or upset all of the time. But then I realized that I needed to adjust myself to what works best for me and stop trying to do things the way others do or tell me to do. After that I was much happier and so wasn't my husband & children. The best thing right now is that your child is only one, so he won't really remember having you "all to himself" So the transition, in the long run, will be easier for you, your husband & son. Ask God for the guidance in this sisutation and then leave it in his hands. He will never give you anything that he doesn't think you can handle. He just gives us that little extra nudge that we need in order to get there!! Good Luck!!!

Katie - posted on 09/02/2010

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Growing up I always wanted 6! I have 5 now, two step children and 3 of my own. All GIRLS!! My youngest just turned ONE, and I am already itching to have another one. But our bank account isn't ready for it, lol! When we were trying to decide to have more, we told ourselves "IF it happens, it happens" Now that we can't afford to have anymore at this time in our lives, I decided to get an IUD. That way I don't have to think about taking the pill everyday & when we are ready it is easy to remove. If your gut keeps telling you that you want more, go with it. Because it NEVER a good time to have children! Something will always come up!

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Fionna - posted on 09/05/2010

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Ever since i was little i wanted two boys. Our first son was a surprise. But a perfect little boy, so good. i wanted another one when i was a little older and kai came 5 years later. i didn't like the age gap till now. Kai grew up so quickly and always wanted to do what his brother was doing. Sometime very frustating. Now both at school and getting on better. Great company for each other. Now my family is complete got my husband to have the snip.

Amy - posted on 09/05/2010

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i have 2 girls aged 10 and 7 and although i would hav liked a boy i decided 2 was enough....that was untill last yr then i got exceptionally broody and after disscusing if we could afford it etc we decided to go for it i now hav a gorgeous 2 mnth old girl and am now even thinking there mite be a number 4 at some point

Rilla - posted on 09/05/2010

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Hi Lindsey,

i just wanna share my opinion to you.
i think it's too early to decide whether you want to have more children or not because your son just a year.
2 children is a proportional sum for our little family, sorry to say because i'm still has one and plan to add a more whether my son 4 years already.
why i take 4 years distance to my family because thinking about financial due to their education and psychology.
bu.. it's all depend on you.
sorry if i have wrong word..
good luck!

Cassidy - posted on 09/04/2010

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Hahahaha, I never decided. The good Lord decided for me. Two days after we celebrated my daughter's 1st birthday I found out I was pregnant with my son. Complete shock but well worth it. It definately has it's moments. But in the long run, after a long day at work I miss them terribly and can't wait to get home to the chaos. hahaha

Anna - posted on 09/04/2010

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I only have one child right now, but i do know i want more. I have always wanted more than one child. Some people wait for the "right" time, but i do not think there really is a right or perfect time.

Jackie - posted on 09/04/2010

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found out i was pregnant lol! no matter how much you are or are not prepared it works out. my first two were two years apart and it was a nice distance apart. i was done nursing my son and did the potty training while i was pregnant with his sister. ever time i needed to go i had him try. then our third was a nice bonus baby. we thoght we had it all then vanessa decided to shack things up. both kids where potty trained and in school and getting more and more independent and when we found ot we were going to have our last! the girls are three and a half years apart. we are very happy!

Caitlin - posted on 09/04/2010

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Myu husband and I discussed this at length before we even had our first. Our DD was an oops, but we wouldn't have it any other way. We at first said we wanted to wait 5 years so our 1st would be in school, but I honestly don't know if I can wait that long, I'm now thinking 3 years but haven't convinced my hubby yet, we just know for sure we want DD out of diapers first. We want 2 kids we both come from 3's and 3 is just not my number so we want 2 maybe 4 if I don't get a son and if we can financially. We dont want an odd number of kids cause that'll most likely leave one out. but I guess time will tell.

Meredith - posted on 09/04/2010

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My husband and I discussed it at length before we ever even started trying to get pregnant with our first...He came from a family of 5 and I came from a family of 4...and after much discussion we decided that 5 was just too many for us, and 3 didn't seem like enough for us...so we've decided on 4, but we're taking it one at a time!

Crystal - posted on 09/04/2010

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I have a two year old right now, and we definitely want more kids. our deciding factors are based solely on effort. we're going to wait until she's at least 3 or 4, because: it would be hard to have two kids in diapers at the same time, and two kids that can't do anything for themselves, and along time with the baby. we want to wait until our daughter is at least in preschool, so we can have at least a few hours only having to take care of one child at a time, and she'll be old enough to do some things like potty, get dressed, and get herself snacks. we babysit a one year old full time, so we already know what it would be like to have two kids under 3, and it's NOT easy. Personally, I wouldn't like to burn my candle at both ends by having two babies relying on me constantly. i just think it would be easier. and the less stressed and overworked mommy is, the happier babies are. :)

Heather - posted on 09/04/2010

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I definitely knew that I wanted my daughter to have a sibling. When the new baby arrives in December, they will be 28 months apart. However, I think we are done after that. :-)

[deleted account]

My sister and brother are 12 and 11 yrs older than me so as I was growing up, it was kind of like being an only child. So when I had my son, I decided that I needed to have another baby within a couple of years. Just so happened in my situation, it was the next year =)

Jan - posted on 09/04/2010

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I always wanted 2 because, I know this sounds morbid but, after my son was born I couldn't help but think that if he was an only child when I'm gone there would be no one in the world that would be going through the same thing. I never wanted him to be alone with no one else who was feeling the same pain. My first 2 are 5 1/2 yrs apart and I never really thought I would have anymore, but I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd just before my daughter's 1st birthday, now it's weird because I would have been happy to stay with 2 kids but now I have 3 and I'm not certain I'm done. I'm having a hard time getting rid of diapers DD#2 has grown out of and I just cn't bring myself to go through with getting my tubes tied or DH getting a vasectomy. I know that finacially 3 is more then we need but I just can't bring myself to say "no more" and make it permanent.

Coco - posted on 09/03/2010

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I'm due any day with number 2 and they will be 20 mos apart. I'm from a family of 4 and he's from 2. We first thought at least 2, we wouldn't want a single child. And we also wanted them to be close in age. Also we said to take one at a time.
So we don't know how many more, we take one at a time and then ask all the questions that come with another baby.
(and if it's a boy again, we'll probbly try for a girl)

Stephanie - posted on 09/03/2010

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my oldest is 2 my youngest is 6 months old and well i am pregnant with number 3 and my husband is getting fixed. we didn't really decide with this one i was on the pill. but we had talked about having more after our first daughter...lol just not so soon.

Retta - posted on 09/03/2010

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i say if you and your partner feel it is the right time for you guys to have more children, go for it! Time waits on noone and children grow very fast! We as women were suppose to be mom's, whether through birthing children or adopting! But you have to know for sure you are ready, men are always ready but we have to be emotionaly, and physical ready, our minds have to know what it takes to take care of more children, especially as young as toddlers and becoming a mom all over again! I have 3 and i want more, but right now im a full-time college student, and my husband wants one right now, but i feel that im not ready at this point and time, we have a 11 month year old and i feel i need to get to see more of him growing up...maybe when he is 2, but i can plan when i want more....only time will tell when it is time for me to have more! Rather now or later in the years!

[deleted account]

On many levels I think I am good with 2! Especially when my 4 yr old is beating up his 11mos old brother :( I often wonder how on Earth I will handle these two, espeically when LO gets older :/ eek. But then again I keep having these nagging thoughts like "it would be a pleasant surprise to be pregnant again" or nagging thoughts that I want another...seriously though...I wonder how I could possibly handle another, especially when I can't even keep #1 from beating on #2 :( AND I am soo ready to go to work FT and want out of the house...we can't afford another one, I want to buy a house some time this century...which will require me to work FT...As we sit, we have 5 yrs before LO gets in school (sept bday) and I can not wait that long PLUS a few yrs for #3 before I work FT...I often think I have nagging thoughts to have another baby because I am afraid of starting my bachelors, completing my degree, and essentially "growing up" and getting a REAL job! eek!

Amanda - posted on 08/31/2010

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when I found out I was 18 weeks pregnant with my daughter (baby no 2)

Sarah Elisabeth - posted on 08/31/2010

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my daughter was ultimately the deciding factor, my husband and i felt that she would benefit from having a sibling, she's just not interested in other kids like she is adults.

Rita_2_davey - posted on 08/30/2010

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Well it was just a fact that I wanted my daughter to have someone else in her little world. When she was about 2 she asked me if she could have a baby brother or sister. I knew then, no more protection. Needless to say, her baby brother didn't come along for 3yrs. Just the way my cycle runs. My daughter was so proud of her little brother. She had to help with everything, I was surprised at how well she learned by watching me, and then herself doing things while mommie watched. They are very very close to this day.

Heather - posted on 08/30/2010

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I always wanted a big family, I'm the youngest of 4 and I love it. I have 5 kids ages 1,2,5,6, & 8 theres 4 girls and 1 boy. My girls get along so good but my son is all by him self so i might try again.

[deleted account]

I always wanted at least two. After my second, we'll take the "wait and see" attitude about having a third. Two makes sense for us because we can afford two, two can fit in our house and car, and we can easily manage two. If you aren't 100% convinced you want another at this moment, just wait and continue to enjoy the one you have. Your son is still very young and you have plenty of time to have more if you chose to do so later.



**edit to add** I am a stay at home mom. I love every minute of it and plan to remain at home until all my children are in elementary school. I have a yearning to go back to work (I was a teacher). As it is, I have at least 5 more years before that will be possible. I'm pregnant with number 2 so I won't be going to work at least until this one is in Kindergarten. So part of my decision to stop at two is so that I can eventually go back to a job I love. If we had third by accident, that would be fine, I'd just deal with waiting the extra few years to go back to work. My kids are more important than my job, anyway.

Amanda - posted on 08/30/2010

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there is never going to be a right time to want another one . i played the is it a good time due to bills and so on and i found out the hard way that if it's meant to be it will be. i have 2 kids ones i was told by a doctor i would never have due to medical reasons. my 8 year old came by surprise. then my 2 years old came after tons of heart ache and the death of a set of twins by eptopic pregnancy and nearly being killed myself from it and the another single miscarriage after that. then the day i found out i was pregnant with my daughter my grandfather passed away. so you don't decide what you get you can try if it's meant to be it will. i've been trying for the last 4 months and nothing. but you will also know when it's time. it's instinct

Alison - posted on 08/30/2010

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My daughter gets to whiny when we are home alone because she wants to play and I have things to do, so I can't always play with her. I want to have one more just so she has someone to play with. I can't imagine being an only child I think it would be terrible. My husband wants only one but I keep telling him that we are having another no matter what he wants ( we originally both wanted three, but he suddenly changed his mind). Liv is 14 months now. I wouldn't mind if I got preg. now but I would rather wait until she turns at least 2 and then start trying for another.

Lindsey - posted on 08/29/2010

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my son acts better when he is around other children and thats makes me wanna have another.it will be good for him but will it be good for me? will i be a good mother to a second? will i be able to handle it? thats my issue..can i handle it?

Nikki - posted on 08/29/2010

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Ive always known I wanted at least 2 possibly 3. I want my son to have a sibling so they can grow up and share their life with. I just couldnt imagine having an only child

Ashley - posted on 08/29/2010

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I have 3 brothers and it was never a dual moment, so I always knew i wanted more than 1. When we had our first son and I was content at the time. However, the good Lord, decided for us to have another. Our 2 oldest are 1yr and 2 wks aprt. I cried like crazy when I found out I was pregnant so soon, but I wouldn't have traded it for the world now. They are 3 and 4 now and most of the time best friends. And we just added our 3rd son 6 wks ago. It can get crazy at times, but I love every minute. I don't think, looking back, I would have ever been ready for more than one, but now we have 3 and debating on a forth (thats as high as I'm going). hehe. Best of luck w/ whatever u decided.

Carly - posted on 08/29/2010

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I think we just came to the decision between ourselves. We love our son to a point which is unbelieveable and get sooo much joy from him. I can't imagine the joy and happiness we would feel if there was two of them. It's hard to believe it's possible you can love someone else just as much. I can't wait, I hope I'm pregnant now! Im late today! Going to test soon x

TONI - posted on 08/29/2010

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both you and your partner will know. i have 6 and they are a bit of a handful so you have got to be ready

Natasha - posted on 08/29/2010

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We always knew we wanted 2 or 3, we just weren't sure how many. With our first, it took 19 months to get pregnant, so we expected it to take awhile with the second, so we started earlier than we wanted. We thought a 2 1/2 year gap between them would be perfect. Well, we got pregnant on the first try this time! So our 2nd is due 12 days after our first turns 2! They are a girl, and now a boy, so we are kind of thinking we will be done. I would prefer 3, but I will just have more to give each child if we only have 2- money, help and support, and time. But I'm not making any rash decisions. I would wait to have a 3rd until these two were 4 and 6 (one in school). So we will evaluate our resources and frame of mind at that point to see if we want another child or not. Good luck, I am really excited to have another, also nervous!

Fiona - posted on 08/29/2010

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Ive only got one at the moment but i knew once my little girl first smiled and giggled at me that i wanted more. I just love how proud she makes me feel, i have so much love for her that i dont want to overwhelm her with it all.

Merry - posted on 08/29/2010

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When I was around age 8 I decided I wanted 10 kids. I continued to want a lot of kids all through my teen years. Usually around 7 kids.

My husband wanted only 1 when we started dating but he agreed to have 4 quickly.

I still intend on having more then 4 but I dont push the issue with him yet. I think once we have the 4 then I will talk to him about another ~if~ I feel our family isnt complete.

When I was at the hospital after delivering Eric I said to my husband, I want to do that again!!. It was not a easy labor or birth, nothing really went the way I wanted but still I was loving the feeling of birthing.

I wanted to do it all over again right away.

We waited to try until Eric was a year old and conceived 2 months before he turned 1 1/2.

It wasnt really something I thought as a possibility, it was always a fact.

And since I am an avid breastfeeding mom, I will be nursing Eric right along with his sibling.

Id like to nurse each child 4 years and with a age gap of 2 years thats alot of tandem nursing and at least 10 years of straight nursing.

Sounds so exciting. Itl be the talk of my old folks home one day I bet. :)

The most important things in my life is to have my husband, kids, and to homeschool. Then to find other ways to help the world once my kids are grown like being a foster family, or starting a home for pregnant women. or doing missionary work.

So having babies and kids really is the most important part of my life now and I love it !!!

[deleted account]

I waited 10 yrs between my kids...i have a 10yr old and an 8 month old, the 2 reasons i did was because A: i am the youngest of 7 children and i never felt i got to know my parents till all the older kids moved out, i never got in any good bonding time while i was young. and B: it hurts! lol but i always wanted another one i just had such a horrible birth experience with my first that i was frightened. i guess i had to wait till i finally said "its now or never!" lol good luck!

Samantha - posted on 08/29/2010

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my sons now close to 15 months and i am now ready to try again. i have booked the appointment to get the implant removed and ill be set. i really cant wait.

Liz - posted on 08/28/2010

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we weren't planning on such close age difference as the birth control failed, but we couldn't be happier now that he's here.

Liz - posted on 08/28/2010

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I came from a large family ( I am the youngest of five) and my husband is the youngest of two. I wanted a big family but my husband didn't. I had wanted six kids, and we compromised with four. So far we have a set of two year old b/g twins, and we have a one and a half month old son.

Tana - posted on 08/28/2010

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I just knew I wanted another after having my first and I always wanted my children to be close in age since my sibling and I were pretty far apart age wise. My husband agreed to having another so we did. They are 18 months apart. I feel like 2 is the perfect number for me so I have no desire for any more.

Sarah - posted on 08/28/2010

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i am expecting no 4, my partner n i didnt decide to have kids, at 17, we fell with son 1 (wonderfull accedent) when son 1 was 2 weeks old, he deceded to have another, i said wait till hes at least one, 19 months later we had son no 2, we were planing to have no 3 when son 1 started primary school, didnt work out that way, daughter 1 was born 2 years early lol! we were very happy and content with our 3, but have surprise no 4 due one month after bubby girls 1st birthday, whoops!! we are now trying to make my wagon into a 6 or 7 seater. he comes from a family of 6, 3 boys 3 girls, and i have one sister who is 11yrs younger.

Lindsey - posted on 08/28/2010

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i think i want another but i think i am just scared to have another.that makes no sense but i am just scared to have another.

Sarah - posted on 08/28/2010

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I only have the one ... so far.
i'm from a big family and have SEVEN siblings .. most of them half but i don't class them as that .. my mum has six a 21yr old,20yr old (me), 19yr old, 17yr old and twin 16yr olds.
the last 3 have the same dad and me and my olderst sister also have the same dad.
our dad also has a 10yr old and a 5yr old.

anyway because of this i've never wanted to have an only child . i've grown up with siblings around me and i feel he'd get lonely on his own never having anyone to share childhood antics with.

my partner has an older brother but theres about 10yrs between them!!

i really don't wqant a massive age gap like that .. he was practically an only child.

Bonnie - posted on 08/28/2010

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I knew before I even had kids that I wanted 2 or 3. Then after I had the first child, I still had the same feelings and I still have the same feelings now. You just know in your heart what you truly want and what you can live without. Like Schyla said, there will never truly be more than enough money or space for most people to be content, but you do what you gotta do. I always knew I never wanted my first child to be alone.

Shana - posted on 08/28/2010

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as a mother of 4 boys we decided in this faishon....#1 =accident ,#2 = dont want an only child, #3 =should we-shouldnt we ooops we are, #4 = contraception failed....sorry that doesnt help at all - but for us we knew that we could afford a second child and it really was a case of we didnt want an only child. Our third was more complicated...we where going through the same process as Jenni (btw @Jenni Sinclair WELL SAID!!) and by the time we thought we had made a decison, it was already decided!! As for our #4 son, a bigger house,a bigger car werer the major problem for us so we decided no, however someone else had other plans and we wouldnt have it have it anyother way now!!

Jenni - posted on 08/27/2010

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i have a 4 yr old and a 3 month old we didnt decide we wanted more it just happened



we wanted more but didnt know when would be right for us and when it happened we were happy anyways



our big issues were

cost - can we afford another, will we both work afterwars, cost of day care and for how many children if we have them closer we can reuse baby items as appose to farther a part and have to buy new items(carseats expire)

age difference - did we want them closer in age or father a part? what are the pros and cons of that

sex - if the next one would be a boy or girl would we need a bigger house with more rooms or could we stay were we are for now and have them share?we were having another no big deal



mat leave should i go back to work afterwards or become a stay at home mom



we came to the conculsion of "if i became pregnant then we were having another"



these are things that only u and ur mate can decide on and when ur ready u'll know but weight all ur pros and cons if u are really unsure thats what we did and well now i have a beautiful daughter to go with my handsome son

Alison - posted on 08/27/2010

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We've decided just to stick to one! We thought long and hard about it, but in the end we're happy.

Amber - posted on 08/27/2010

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my husband wanted to get it all over with and wanted them to be close in age. So we just had them.lol

[deleted account]

I only have the one child but I've always wanted 4 before I'm 30, I'm 22 in September so I have plenty of time for the next 3 but I want them all fairly close in age

[deleted account]

For me I just knew I wanted more, I have 4, I grew up in a large family and we were never bored. I also wanted my kids close in age, they are 4, 5, 6 and 3 months. I never wanted to have an only child, it just never seemed like it would be much fun.

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