How do I get him to stop beein held all the time?

Tammy - posted on 06/02/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

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My son is 4 months old and he wants to be held all the time. I try puttin him down and I let him cry but he gets so mad that he makes himself passout and I can't take that. I also try puttin toys down for him and try to get his focuse on something else but it don't work. please anything will help.

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Angie - posted on 06/04/2010

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He's 4 months old and to a 4 month old being held is just as much a need as being hungry or in pain. He barely even realizes he's his own separate person yet. I agree with Melissa get a good sling or wrap (my girls started using the Ergo right around 4 months) and let him be happy while you have your hands free. I promise he will not go to kindergarten still being held. I would say my girls both spent may a total of 1 hour during daylight hours not being held by me until they were about 5 months old then they started crawling and pulling up and wanted to spend very little time in the wrap. He'll get to the point when he feels comfortable being separate from you.

Melissa - posted on 06/04/2010

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If the bumbo chair/swing/or bouncy chair doesnt work. tag him along with you in a baby sling of some sort. that way you can still have ur hands free to do things you need to do.

Lyndsay - posted on 06/03/2010

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What kind of toys do you have for him? When my son was a baby I had his swing, the exersaucer (bouncy chair), a floor mat, and a little vibrating chair with dangly toys. I would put him down in a different place each time to give him some variety.

Tianna - posted on 06/03/2010

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With my daughter I would lay her in her swing facing me and rocking it with my foot..while i'd sit on the couch (music playing on tv or radio really helps!!!). 4 months is so little....ya have to remember only 4 months ago he was tucked nice and warm in your belly where he could hear your heart beat all day :) Time will come where he will want to explore and have nothing to do with mom...belive me Bella is 10 months and on the move and doesnt need mom all ready!! lol I know you need a break some times cuz its tough! and draining!! and so Tireing!!! I think thats the best time to call in the Troops ( Grandparents) !!!! hahaha...Best of luck hun! :)

Rebekah - posted on 06/03/2010

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My son was like that. It is hard but he has to learn he can be without u. I would start with setting him down and sitting next to him but not hold him. Then next time sit further away and continue this until you can leave the room. Maybe something gradual will work. I also use the baby Einstein videos. My twins love the baby Beethoven one.

Ann.M. - posted on 06/02/2010

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you need to stop everyone from picking him up only you and his dad should just until you get this fixed and mybe go and see your GP about the passing out part

Liz - posted on 06/02/2010

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Well, he's still very young. You're his world, so when he can't see or smell you his world is WRONG.

When my son was tiny, I would put him down in the room where I was doing something (unless he was sleeping) like in a bouncer seat or even his car seat. That way he could see that I'm still there, but I can do what I need to.

Sarah - posted on 06/02/2010

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try laying beside him and playing with toys together. Rachel is right, at 4 months, he's not ready for a lot of alone time yet. My daughter was very clingy at first (totally my fault, i held her non stop when i finally got her home from the NICU-she spent her first 3 weeks in there!) but i started very gradually spending a little less time holding her everyday. first i would play with her toys with her while she sat on my lap, then whilse she sat by herself adn i sat next to her, and so on. now she's 8 months and can happily entertain herself! I would not suggest letting him watch tv, the American Association of Pediatrics recommends NO tv for kids under 2 yrs. We play music for Zoe and she loves it!

Misty - posted on 06/02/2010

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Get yourself a bumbo chair put a few toys in front of him and see if that helps. Try putting his swing infront of the tv and put elmo on or mickey mouse, that worked for me. Another thing i do is when im in the kitchen cleaning or cooking i put him in his bumbo chair set it on the floor near me and i cook or clean while hes in the same room with me. I also talk to hime alot so he knows im there near him, he loves it. My son was the same way, there was a few times i just had to let him cry it out. I know its hard but they have to learn that you cant hold them all day!

Rachel - posted on 06/02/2010

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A lot of the time my son didn't like being in his bouncy chair unless we were rocking the chair with our foot. So when I needed a little break I would put him in there in front of the couch (facing me) and bounce him with my foot and then I could watch tv or read a book but also still smile at him and talk to him and he just loved it when we rocked him in the bouncy chair. We used that chair every day until he started crawling.

Tammy - posted on 06/02/2010

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I have a swing and I read to him I talk and I have a bouncy chair I put him in them and I have tried everything. The thing is everytime he goes to grandma he can lay on the bed while she reads a book to her self and he just lays there I tryed that and he just cryed.What eles can I do?

Kayleen - posted on 06/02/2010

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Maybe he just needs mommy. My mom said I was like that so she put me in a bouncer or swing where I could see her and talked to me so she could get somthing done. I held my kids all the time and now they dont care if I leave them at like school or babysitters. so I think its because I believe you cant spoil a baby. good luck love K.

Rachel - posted on 06/02/2010

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Do you have a bumbo chair or vibrating bouncy chair? That way they could sit up a little and watch you in the kitchen or cleaning. Try sitting on the floor with him and read books to him or sing. Babies love when you talk to them, tickle them, interact with them. At 4 mos he's not ready to play for long periods of time by himself so most of the time that he's awake you will be with him but definitely doesn't mean you have to hold him the whole time. If he cries whenever you put him down then you'll probably have to really work to get him interested in something else but singing always worked for me. My son loved hearing me sing to him and wiggle his arms and feet. Just gradually start playing with him more on the floor and holding him a little less each day and you'll get to the time when he can play by himself for a little bit. It will take some time but just be patient and know that once he starts sitting up and crawling in just a few months he will be much more interested in the floor than in you holding him. Good luck!!

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