How do I teach my 8 month old not smack etc.

Mellody - posted on 09/22/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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my little girl smacks my face, chest, anywhere, she grabs my skin, and pulls. scratches me. etc. She doesnt seem to do it to be "abusive", and its not as though shes angry or lashig out, although she does do it when shes upset, when i take something away etc.... she just doesnt seem to understand that it hurts.

I tell her, no that hurts, or stop slapping. i take her hands and hold them still when she does it to make her stop. and if she doesnt stop sometimes ill give her a pinch or a little slap on the hand to show that whats shes doing doesnt feel nice(dont like to do this often because i think it encourages slapping etc. more). But it seems no matter how often i say no or try to stop her,she doesnt stop, now when i say no she cries and makes a fuss.



any ideas as to how i can teach her that its not okay to do this??. i reaslize that smacking can show her that it doesnt feel nice but it means that eventually shes gonig to get usd to the smack and its not going to be affective.



Im looking for other ways so this doesnt become a repetative "battle".

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Jessica - posted on 09/22/2009

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my daughter did that too and i have the perfect remedy. She still does it from time to time when she gets upset but she listens and she stops when you tell her too. I taught my daughter the word nice. Every time that i said the word i would grab her hand and gently rub it across my face, across her teddy bears face, anything she played with.. Now she is 14 months old and I tell her ahead of time when she meets something or someone knew like a baby or a puppy or a kitty. I say "Be Nice Kali" and she will take her hand and gently rub whatever it is that is in front of her. I hope this helps it works wonders with my daughter. Let me know.

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Mellody - posted on 09/22/2009

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Quoting Crystyl:

my youngest daughter is 11 months old and my oldest is 20 months i went through the same thing. she's only trying to touch you like you do her but doesnt know how to do it. when mine does it i go "be gentle baby" and then i open her hand and gently run her hand down the side of my face almost like shes petting me and when she tries to grab n scratch i take her hand away and i tell her ouch no be gentle and start it over again. urs is crying cuz shes only trying to love on you and doesnt understand y shes being hit or pinched she doesnt know her own strength. i dont recommend the slapping and pinching yet cuz u'll end up teaching her that its ok when your trying to correct it. now when she's older then u can slap and pinch her back cuz she doesnt know how much it hurts just that it does hurt. mine learned really fast and its great cuz i've seen with my oldest she understands what gentle means and when i tell her to be gentle with the animals or her little sister she does the caressing and gentle pats.



"urs is crying cuz shes only trying to love on you and doesnt understand y shes being hit or pinched she doesnt know her own strength. "



i dont hit her, i give her a smack on the hand.. huge difference.. sorry if you didnt mean anything rude by that, but it bothers me,There is a big difference between hitting, and giving a lite smack on the hand,



Like i said, im not smacking her or pinching all the time, even if i dont smack or pinch her hand, and i just say no that hurts. she cries.. Its when i say no that she cries and fusses.



 



Ive tried taking her hand and making her touch my face gently, but she only pulls away and smacks again. lol. i guess im just going to have to keep at it.

Brittany - posted on 09/22/2009

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my son does the same thing, and i have been wondering also how to get him to stop, i believe i am going to try the putting him down and walking away. thank you ladies for all the great advice!!

Michelle - posted on 09/22/2009

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When you find the answer let me know.. Ariana is 8 1/2 mo. and she smacks me too. i dont think she does it purposely or out of anger... but it would be nice to get her to stop.

Ryann - posted on 09/22/2009

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i did the same thing as allana i would take my daughters hand and stroke my face and say nice. Shes turning one soon and now whenever i say nice she strokes my face its so cute.

Crystyl - posted on 09/22/2009

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my youngest daughter is 11 months old and my oldest is 20 months i went through the same thing. she's only trying to touch you like you do her but doesnt know how to do it. when mine does it i go "be gentle baby" and then i open her hand and gently run her hand down the side of my face almost like shes petting me and when she tries to grab n scratch i take her hand away and i tell her ouch no be gentle and start it over again. urs is crying cuz shes only trying to love on you and doesnt understand y shes being hit or pinched she doesnt know her own strength. i dont recommend the slapping and pinching yet cuz u'll end up teaching her that its ok when your trying to correct it. now when she's older then u can slap and pinch her back cuz she doesnt know how much it hurts just that it does hurt. mine learned really fast and its great cuz i've seen with my oldest she understands what gentle means and when i tell her to be gentle with the animals or her little sister she does the caressing and gentle pats.

Allana - posted on 09/22/2009

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One thing I tried when my son (now 19 months) would smack my face is take his hand and gently stroke my cheek while telling him nice. After awhile when he would try to hit me or his older sister I would just to him no, nice and he would stop.

Michelle - posted on 09/22/2009

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I agree with Julie. Try putting her down and walking away. If she finds that you won't play with her when she does this she just might stop. It will take more then one try by far, but she'll get the hint eventually. I know it works with older children, I work in a daycare and when we have had children in the past that would hit all the other children would stay away. They soon realized that the other children won't play with them if they behave this way. Good luck:o)

Julie - posted on 09/22/2009

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I've been having this problem with my son who is turning 1 next week. He has no ill intentions, he thinks that smacking is a game. I got advice from some moms on here to just put him down and walk away, and this seems to be working. The first time I did it, I had just gotten to daycare to pick him up and he was smacking at my face. I told him no and grabbed his hands to stop him 3 times, then I put him down and walked away. It was probably only about 15 seconds, just long enough for me to grab his diaper bag and walk back, but he screamed his head off, and when I picked him back up, he didn't try to hit me again. It didn't cure the problem permanently yet, but it seems to be helping.

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