how do you deal with a 2 year old that screams so loud you have to do the same just to talk to him

Jennifer - posted on 02/25/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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i have a two year old that is getting a late start on talking and when he wants something and you say no he just starts screaming and crying, i try to talk to him calmly but then he screams louder, what do i do? pleeeeease help

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Tania - posted on 02/25/2010

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If he screams louder when u talk to him , I would ignore him walk away....Turn up the music and dance ... Or carry on with the luxing. Let him know that it doesnt bother you if her cries.lol
Crying because he dont get his on way - Hes just trying to work you ....Thinking mummy will give in.
OR
Put him on the naughty mat for 2 min, if he gets off put him straight back on....dont talk to him at all. Every time he gets off the timer starts again ....

Amy - posted on 02/27/2010

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It's kind of a hit or miss! I have a 2 year old that i can't take anywhere. he is so loud and bad out in public... when i do have to have him with me though. i just ignore him. u have to remember that u are not the only one that has a 2 year old and not to be embarassed. they all do that. u just have to see what works.

Jennifer - posted on 02/27/2010

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thank you all for your advice, i really appreciate it. i will definitley try them out and see how they go for

Maria - posted on 02/25/2010

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Ahhh 2 year olds, time to test the boundries, Yay!I agree with Katie and Mehgan. I would say first that it depends what you're saying 'no' to. If it is something that you can explain to him why he can have it (i.e if it's hot it will hurt him) always try to let him know so that he is not as frustrated.

In the case of a tantrum, I have spent most of my time with two year olds using the good ol time out (putting them in a safe environment and letting them blow off steam). Let them know where you'll be, why they are being put here, when they can come and join the rest of the family, etc....even if they can't hear you over themselves=)

One time a little boy I was caring for got really mad when he dropped an egg and it broke. He was screaming so loudly that I couldn't get through to him so I showed him the box of eggs, picked one out and dropped it on the floor aswell with a smile and a shrug. He looked at me like I was crazy, and then began to laugh as he realised that he was over-reacting. Now he was distracted from his own fit, I was able to talk him calmly about how he felt and that he doesn't have to scream when these things happen.

It depends on what works for your childs personality, but it is important not to give in to a tantrum at set his boundries now. I know it's hard, but just think of the strength and self-confidence you're building forv him in the long run!

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With my daughter I had to bend down and whisper. She couldn't hear me unless she stopped screaming. With my son, I have to say no and walk away until he stops or I say "mommy can't understand you when you are yelling". Also, and this sounds crazy I know, but when you've tried everything else, try speaking toddlerese. It is basically saying what they are saying back to them to show that you understand, then repeating your message. For example: You say "no cookies",then he starts screaming " I wanna cookie now!". Then you say "you want a cookie, you want that cookie right now,(hopefully then he will say" yeah")Then you say "you can't have a cookie because it is almost time for dinner". I have used this with my kids on occasion. Sometimes kids scream at you because they think you just didn't understand them, so saying what they say lets them know you do understand, but the answer is still no.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/25/2010

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I have found from working in a daycare... You have to come down to the child's level and speak to them in your regular speaking voice. Most children will stop screaming because they want to hear what you have to say. Screaming back at them doesn't not help, if anything, it makes matters worse most of the time. You just have to be calm and they will learn if they want to hear what you have to say then they will be quieter so they can hear you! Hope that helps!

Meghan - posted on 02/25/2010

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my son is 17 months and he has just recently started doing the same thing. i try to get down on his level and talk calm..If that doesn't work and he still screams..and I know this sounds silly, I will scream back at him in a dramatic whiney way and smile...a couple times back and forth and he starts to smile and laugh. I think it either shows him how silly it sounds or distracts him. Once the meltdown is over I go back and ask what he needs so he knows that I am paying attention and do want to help. Don't know if this is the right thing to do but seems to help us

Dawn - posted on 02/25/2010

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I wanted to say my son was developmentally delay but what Katie said worked for my son too at that age. When he screams and tantrums I put him on the couch until he was calm, then got down on his level and calmly talked to him slowly. This specialist had this program and I didn't think it would work but tried and it did. Little kids have a hard time understanding what you are talking about when they are angry or upset so what you are screaming they most times aren't understanding is what i learned. So waiting until they calm down, speak in short sentences usually helped my son. My son also learned a few signs, not a lot like for more to let me know he wanted more. I didn't think they learned that but my niece learned the same thing. Maybe if you teach him a few different things like for drink or something it will help. IT may take a few tries but I know it was worth it for my son, he screamed less. Also, it helped when he asked for a drink to give him three options, he was less fussy with what i gave him when i let him have two choices to pick from. I hope this helps in some way. Take care and good luck. I hope things get better for you. BTW ignoring worked too sometimes, if he began screaming again, I would ignore him. I told him something that he actually starting learning well, I said I do not understand what you are saying when you scream or whine and then I wouldn't respond to what he was wanting.

Sarah - posted on 02/25/2010

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LOL!! i have a girl the same age and i think her volume button is broken on the highest level it can be. If you get any good advice let me know :)

Katie - posted on 02/25/2010

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My son is also 2 and whenever he throws a fit or screams so loud I can't hear myself think, I come down to his level and tell him that if he doesn't stop throwing a fit he'll get a time out. That usually helps because he hates time-outs. Sometimes ignoring him works too. I think it depends on why he's screaming. If he's screaming because he's not getting his way, time-outs are the way to go. Let him know that what you say goes, and 2 years old is not to young to start time-outs. The longer you wait the harder it will be to get them to understand you rules, whatever they may be. I hope this helps, let me know how it goes!

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