how do you handle tempertantrums?

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Corryne - posted on 04/12/2011




I think different children have different reasons y they throw tantrums and therefore may need a different approach. Also it depends on how bad the tantrum is and exactly what they r doing. Most of the time ignoring it will work, or it does for my 3 n a half yr old anyway. But for my 18mth old ignoring it is just out of the question. When he has a tantrum he head butts things, the ground, the cupboard and at times me. As soon as he starts a tantrum I just pick him up. He then will usually smack me out of frustration or throw himself backwards or headbutt. When he does I pretend to cry and say "dont hurt mummy, love mummy" which he then quickly follows with a big cuddle while patting my back. His tantrums r often scary and leave big bruises on his little forehead. But I think when i pretend to cry he realises he has upset me. So i think it all just depends on the child. If my son wasnt sensitive to my feelings or was not a beautifully natured little boy his tantrums could be HUGE but i know how to difuse the tantrum even at his worst. I just hope he doesnt get any worse lol

So I guess just try to handle the tantrum to the best of ur ability, think of it from the childs point of view. Ask urself y r they doing this? Is it a regular thing for the same reason? Is the child tired (that wen my daughter has her tantrums)? Like with most things trial and error is all u can do

Good luck!

Colleen - posted on 04/11/2011




My daughter is also 18 months old and started throwing herself on the floor if she doesn't get what she wants. I firmly say to her "get up, we don't do that". I have her come over to me and I talk to her in a nice calm voice. If it's something I don't want her having then I def don't give in but if it's a certain snack or drink she's wanting but is having a hard time telling me then I make her point or tell me what it is she wants. Some kids do this out of frustration and some just for attention. Once I she gets up and if she is still being a nasty pants I ignore her. Within a min she always comes over to me and wants a hug n kiss. lol

Bri - posted on 04/11/2011




my 18 month old has started throwing tantrums. when she throws her tantrums, i will bring her right next to me, hug her & talk to her, telling her things like, "i know you're upset" and try to calm her down. she'll stop crying, & she'll be quiet and just hug me until she's ready to go do her own thing again. works almost everytime. the times that it doesn't work & she just won't calm down, i ignore it, & after a few minutes, she realizes she isn't getting what she wants, & she isn't getting the attention that she wants either, & she stops.

Lindsay - posted on 04/11/2010




For my 18 month old daughter the ignoring also works.If she gets attention when she is doing her thing she continues, if we ignore she stops. She is at the point now where she will start to tantrum goes about 30 seconds sees that my husband and I aren't even looking at her and she stops, she is testing us! I have yet for it to happen in public.

Michelle - posted on 04/11/2010




Tantrums are an everyday everywhere occarnce in my world. My daughter is 4 and has add adhd and odd (opposiotional difience disorder) and because of all that shes very implusive. I have been the mom with the child screaming and kicking and throwing things in target. Normally ignoring it makes it last longer for her. So I pick her up take her to the bathroom put her in a stall alone and let her do her thing there. Once her audience has been removed she usually stops quickly. At home she gets sent to her room. Unfortunately her 1 year old sister has started with the tantrums so I'm trying to figure them out.....

Jessica - posted on 04/11/2010




Ugh, I'm not looking forward to toddler tantrums! (my son is 10 months) I agree with the staying calm (so they don't think they can get a reaction out of you- also you're modeling the behavior you want from them) and letting them get it out of their system before trying to talk to them or correct it. If they're out somewhere maybe the best solution is to just leave- warn them first and if they don't stop it then pack them up and go. I remember when my brother and I were little and we would act up in restaurants, thats what my parents did. No threatening or anything- if we didn't calm down they just took us and left! It didn't take long before we stopped acting up and I remember people always commenting to us how well behaved we were when out.

Jenny - posted on 04/11/2010





It all depends where you are. If it is at home i just ignore them, maybe tell them that if they want to talk to me then they will need to stop having a tempertantrum, and let them get on with it, then when they have stopped i will go and talk to them and ask them what they wanted and deal with the reason once they are in a better frame of mind. If we are out and about where they want to be like the park / soft play then i will try and distract them by getting them involved with something if that does not work i just pick them up kicking and screaming and take them home and explain to them when they have calmed down that they have come home becuase they had a tempertantrum. If we are at the swimming pool (fortunatly mine have never had a tempertanrtum in the supermarket) or something that i have to do then i will go to their level and try and distract them, otherwise i will walk away to a position where i can see them and leave them to it. You do have to watch other people though, someone tried talking to my son until i told them to leave him alone he was having a tantrum and i will deal with ihm when he has finished. they have never lasted very long fortunatly. I hope this helps.

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