How do you know when your not in love anymore?

Monique - posted on 03/21/2011

Yes, try going to counseling together, making a date night for just the two of you, surprise him and send him candy or whatever he may like to his job, sometime we have to thing outside the box to make things right or to come to an realization of how much love is still there for your mate. Don't beat yourself up and certainly don't be so quick to throw it all away especially if there really is no serious abuse or neglect in the relationship.

Christina - posted on 03/21/2011

if u can not stand to be with or around that person it is over and u are doing it for ur son, but if u look forward to seeing them when they get home from work then it is worth working on, that will mean u still love him.

Kirsty - posted on 03/20/2011

Try getting counselling together to get all of ur feelings in the open, To find where the issues are and what needs to be worked on. It is stressful having a baby, try to make sure you get time together, go and see a movie or have a weekend away. As hard as it is being away from ur baby it will benefit all of u. After i had my son, his father was never around he would go out drinking, we spent no time together. We stayed together for a year after our son was born. He was happy to do his own thing, i had to ask him to leave. I wasnt happy. I got quite sick. My weight got to 38 kilos. As hard as this was, It was the best choice for us.

Christina - posted on 03/20/2011

i have 2 daughters with my previous husband. we were married for 3 years. within those 3 years, he has cheated, lied and abused me mentally and physically. and thru the worse of it i stuck by him for my daughter (at the time we only had one) but it only got worse. when i finally left him i found out i was pregnant with my youngest daughter. being hormonal and vulnerable we got back together but i didnt move to him, i had him move to me. things didnt get get better. he was still a mean man but not abusive because we were closer to my family, not his. but after another year of that life with him i realized that i grew to hate him. i didnt want anything to do with him. but i was afraid of being a single parent so i stayed. the final straw for me was that i tried to kill him one night after he threaten to kill me. i was so scared to be alone with my daughters but i couldnt stay with him so i left him, got a divorced and never been happier. now i'm with a great man who loves my kids and we have a son together. it's not always peaches and creams with him but i know that deep down that i love him. there are times where i wanna call it quits and go our seperate ways and there has been a few times where i've broken up with him but we always got back together. it wasnt always us but the stress from our situation. my advice is this, take a step back and really think what is causing the fights. it could be stress, a new baby, lack of affection, it could be numerous things. believe me, you will know when it's over...

Monique - posted on 03/20/2011

Holly let me be the first to tell you trying to stay with someone for the kids can be a disaster waiting to happen I know we want what's best for our children but trying to hold on to someon for that reason alone can be very unhealthy for everyone. Now, to determine if you still love your partner or not is something you need to evaluate and figure out your self. Holly now ask yourself honestly what attracted me to this person in the first place? Then you need to figure out If I leave this person how my life would be? What am i giving up if I leave this person? Holly maybe the pair of you need to seperate for a little while to see if anything changes there. My partner and I have tried some of everything only to that we still love each other but neither one of us wants to be the bigger person to step up and claim the love so now we constantly mess around with each other and everything is a big mess so think about it before you think you want to end it because sometimes you can just be overwhelmed by things that's goin on around you it might not be the relationship trust me I'm not happy about my choice so please choose carefully and think of everyone envolved.

Megan - posted on 03/19/2011

love is a choice, not a fuzzy feeling. If you want to stay together try counseling together. I have been married to my husband for 4 yrs. almost 5. There are days when I couldn't be happier and others that i have to remind myself of the good times and choose to continue to put him first.

Ariel - posted on 03/19/2011

right

Erika - posted on 03/19/2011

Well i def know how that is were going throgh the same exact thing right now.. all i can say is be strong for your little one thats all im doing! Eventually things will get better for us weither we stay with them or not, i know we hope and pray that they change and realize wats at steak here but to be honest i dont think theyll realize till were gone! we just have to see how far we let them get before they completely destroy wat we had felt for them before our child!! i think they think that just cause we have their baby we wont leave them so they can treat us like garbage and expect us to stay!! Men are just that way.. But i wish you the best of luck and ill pray for you and all of us struggling in a relationship! :]

Ariel - posted on 03/19/2011

This is what you need to do.........you and him get a piece of paper and write down on one side the pros and on the other side the cons and then switch papers. Sometimes its hard to be commited to someone that you are just not meant to be with but its harder when thee's so much anger and lack of communication. ............stop going to counsling and counsel each other. There is a underlying reason why you two are fighting and unless you can openly speak to each other the resolution will only seem farther away

Laura - posted on 03/19/2011

I was with my ex about 4 and half years then i fell preggers before that we were always fighting and he was always right i was always wrong. He abused me and would jst leave and go off 2 his parents place we were on and off for ages. After we had baby we were happy he didnt work and made life harder with money etc bt he would have no worries taking off leaving baby and i at home come home and hes been drinking with his family for the sake of drinking he became a everyday thing he took us alng sometimes untill one day i had enough of it... I said wat about counselling he said yea oh nah... He took me 2 court tryna stop me getting out of the town he let me go bk 2 auckland as where i was from now we share custody i have her for 2 weeks he haser for one week. We have been tryna work things out bt he dosent wanna leave his mum and dad. When he comes dwn this week im telling him 2 pick his stuff that he left her and go somewhere else and stay so i can have my break as he has had his.... Hurtn part is his sister has given him her son 2 look after as she cant handle his smart ass anymore so now im tryna move on with my life.



I love him bt im not inlove with him becoz of the distance and drama he has put us through!!



It still hurts everday through

AnJell - posted on 03/19/2011

im 19 years old and i have a 9 month son me and the babies dad have been together almost two years we would fight like there is no tomorrow then he stated to get abusive and blame me of things that weren't true with the help of my older sister i got him out of my home and filled a divorce i feel less stressed and more relived i feel my home is mine .. so your best thing to do is to separate for at least a month and see how you all get along and how you feel, if you feel less stressed and better with out him its best to separate (If you let something go and it comes back its meant to be) believe me they will realize what they have and how good they have it.

Jennifer - posted on 03/19/2011

my fiance and i are having a simaliar prob, he works two jobs so i never get to see him very often, and when he is home i have to fight with him to sit with me and just talk, we also sleep in seperate bedrooms while he is on his working week, which is alomst a month and a half long period, so i honestly dont know wat to say, i think the best thing i could say, is if u can, have someone watch ur LO and take a little break have a nice dinner and a relaxing night with ur man, try and reconecct with him if u can, or even set up a date night once a week where someone takes care of ur LO and you two go out to dinner or to a movie or something, hope this helps :)

Rachel - posted on 03/19/2011

p.s every relationship is different, so one happens to work out after a month of dating and becoming a family right after, good for you.. if your unhappy, than stop wasting your time and move on... at the end of the road, it will be you standing their with the little you and if you feel you made the right choice the road will turn for a new journey or go straight for the same questionable journey....

Rachel - posted on 03/19/2011

LOL well your relationship moved so fast, you didn't get a chance to really get to know eachother... It's hard, the question is really all on you... Is this the person I really wanna be with? Is he really worth my time? Than you have to think how is he going to act when you break up, cause he could be a total scum and fight for your child, or he could be an easy pie and give you all rights....

Allison - posted on 03/19/2011

Sweety if you are sitting there constantly asking yourself am i inlove with him, then the odds are your not. but the question is not are you in love with him, the question is do you love him at all. My mom has never been crazy in love with my dad. They have had a relatively happy marriage for nearly 40 years. But if you have to keep asking yourself do i love him and only sometimes can say yes, you should probably move on for everybodies sake. Its better to get out as friends rather than having you and he hate eachother for constantly kicking a dead horse. A therapist can't make you two love eachother and a therapist cant tell you if you do or don't love eachother. thats something only the two of you know the answers too. just give it a long hard maybe heartbreaking think and do what you have to

Sara - posted on 03/19/2011

my hubby and i used to fight all the time. try going to counseling together. dont give up after 2x things like this take time. weve been married now for almost 4 years and have our 2yr old son. its so easy to want and leave and give up when things arent going the way you want or expect them to. it's easier said than done though. it's something you need to work on everyday. communication is key. and remember in argument try and see his side of the story also. now by no means is my marriage perfect but were doing awesome compared to when we first started. i think you'll know when enough is enough. but dont stay together for your son. it will make things horrible for you and him.
good luck with everything and i hope you can work everything out!!

Kylie - posted on 03/17/2011

,aybe you need to see some one together...also the first 12 months after you've had a child are the hardest on any relationship. just remember that as long as you can work together as parents after it's not always best to stay together for the sake of the child.

Stephanie - posted on 03/17/2011

If you even have to ask, then you know your not in love.

Holly - posted on 03/17/2011

Wow! Thank you so much for all the advice guys! I never expected to get so many replies! When we're not fighting I do want to be with him but at the same time as soon as we do have a fight my first thought is "Have to move out!". It's hard as well because I know he doesn't feel the same. He knows we arent right at the moment but when things have cooled off and I start packing he breaks down and say I can't live without you ect. I know it would be hard because I would miss him but I can see myself getting through it. But sometimes I think I'd just miss the thought of him too. You see couples on movies and they are so lovey dovey and you think Aww I want that but it's hard because the reality is no one is really like that. I will definitely talk to him about counselling together though! Thank you!!

Vicki - posted on 03/17/2011

Me and my partner have been there time and time again. We r together now but sometimes I still ask myself this question xx

Jenni - posted on 03/17/2011

My situation is fairly similar. We were together for 6 months before I became pregnant. Under most circumstances I would say; If you have to ask then you're not. But I know how hard it is when you haven't had much couple time before your new addition. We fought like mad after we had our son. But things got better. Then we had our daughter and again we fought like crazy and I found myself asking the same question.

But I think the problem is not him or me but the lack of couple time. 6 months really isn't much time to build a relationship and after the baby comes there isn't time to build it. So I think that's the key. To take *couple* time whenever possible. Whenever we do; whether our parents watch the kids for a few hours so we can go out to eat or a weekend getaway, we always return rekindled. Now we go out to dinner once a month to have *us* time and remind us of what it's like to be a couple.

Not to get too personal but sex or lack there of can become a vicious cycle. You don't feel like having sex because you're not happy with him, it drives him further away, which drives you further away, which makes you not want to have sex. You have to break the cycle.

But yeah, couple time is very important. Especially in situations like ours where we didn't have as much time to build a relationship.

Katie - posted on 03/17/2011

I was with my baby's father for four years before we got pregnant. I had always known that i didn't want to be with him for the rest of my life but i was always too scared to leave him (he was emotionally,verbally and mentally abusive) When our child was nine months old i finally left. But just like you we fought and fought and fought. I think I made the best desicion i could have made by leaving him. Our daughter now has two parents in different "situations" My ex has a medical marijuana card and i do not agree with him "using" when he is around her but he did alot of growing up when i left. Kiera (my daughter) is better off this way because she now not only has her "father" but she has a "daddy" who is my current life partner. He treats her better than her "father" could ever dream of doing. It all just depends on the circumstances. If you want your child to grow up thinking that hating your spouse is ok then by all means stay. But if you want him to grow up knowing the difference between what is love and what is not love i would make the choice to leave. This decision you are faced with is not an easy one but its one you must make, just remember you are a woman! You are powerful! You gave birth and if you can do that you can do ANYTHING! Good luck sweetie. My heart goes out to you.

Graciela - posted on 03/17/2011

I think counseling should be done together...this way both can talk about whats bothering the other and that way both know what to work on...i don't live with my son's father but we have been as a couple for about 4 years...when i became pregnant we had been together 8 months...after i had my son little by little we began arguing a lot and that's that we live separate but it really got out of hand so we finally talked about all of it and decided we both had changes to make and we're working on them at the moment we're both trying to change to save the love we have left for each other and for the love we have for our son...hope that helped a little

Megan - posted on 03/16/2011

couples counsling i feel for u its hard knowing why u stay in realtionships when ur not happy and fighting. i left my ex husband becuase i couldnt take the fighting anymore. but i think if we could have had couples cousling we might have been able to stay together for us good luck to you

Nicole - posted on 03/16/2011

they should be wiht the same person. and having every other appointment together. it what happens in divorce and marriage counselling. as well as family...yes i have beein in all but marriage therapy. so yeah they should be that is usually protocol so they learn to communicate being seperate is actually not productive and could also be counter productive the point of relationship therapy is to learn to communicate troubles fears peeves you have with the other and they are not doing that so essentially they are wasting time and money by going seperately and to different shrinks.

Nicole - posted on 03/16/2011

i fell pregnant one and a half months after dating my SO and we are now 2 years strong with a beautiful 12 month old baby girl.



now this journey has not been easy cause our daughter is also special needs. we have fought over everything. from why i wont let our daughter stay unattended at his parents to me not doing the laundry on a set every day schedule. point is we both have our peeves about the other finding that one person is not about finding that perfect some one but loving them past the imperfections.



we love another very much cause we communicate and we both have the ability to never stay angry. we are both stubborn and have proved it. and i will tell you there were multiple times where we have thought about leaving the other and caught the other talking to friends about the other . like he told his one friend i was his girlfriend for now. ...that was a long time ago too...and you bet we talked over that one...things like that do not slide by. but he also caught me talking to a friend about leaving him cause i was unsure. it happens.



if you have been though counseling and its not helping you to communicate to trust or to not sweat the small stuff then its time to move on. if you argue more then having joyous times together. i would pack up and move on like adults. i hate to say this but an agreement both my SO and i made was we will not stay for our child. we made that agreement the day i got my positive result on the pee stick. and yes at 1.5 month in i had enough gall to go to him and tell him i took a pregnancy test. i told him i ruined his life i was leaving. he didn't like that answer though and hung on to me and pretty tight too. and its been that way since.



the worst thing you can do is stay for the child the child needs two loving and level headed parents and you wont be what your child needs if you keep arguing wiht the father cause you cant stand to be in the same room let alone under the same roof. my mom stayed for my sister and i that was the majority of my life and she was miserable. and it really didnt help wiht us growing up not knowing what a healty adult realionship looked liked. i landed a few doozies before my SO. and that may not be for all girls or boys in that kind of a situation but you tend to go towards what you know and have seen and if your child sees you and his father acting like that do you want him to get in a relationship like that when he is older??



when you fall out of love i myself have noticed you dont care. you tend to look towards other guys or start gettting really angry with no end at the little things the other does and it lasts for days. you will know and only you can tell yourself when it is time to stay and go. only thing others can do for you is to tell you their story and see how you feel after. i am sure you will make the right decision for your self and your child wether it be work it out or going separate ways.

Brianna - posted on 03/16/2011

i think you should get couselling threw the same person also shouldnt u have some couselling together?

Melissa - posted on 03/16/2011

I was with my babys father for just over a year before I fell pregnant. We were together for 3 years, when I realized I'd had enough. we constantly fought over every little thing. I told him a few times before I was leaving him but he'd always find a way to make me stay. In the end it was like he was buying me (brought a car, clothes, etc) & I realized that I wasnt in love with him anymore. I've been seperated from him for a year & a half now & yes it is hard but it is what is best for our son. He is a happy healthy little boy & still see's his father all the time. Never stay in a relationship for a childs sake as it will have effects on the childs emotional stability when they get older.

Kayla - posted on 03/16/2011

they also have the movie fireproof to. You can both sit and suggle on the couch when baby has gone to bed and watch it.

April - posted on 03/16/2011

there is always hope. you loved this man at one point and i know that love is a choice. ive seen many marriages go through a lot worse than what you are describing (ex affairs and abuse) and with A LOT of work on both sides they are happily married now.
i would suggest getting counseling together and there are a lot of books that can help. I would suggest the book fireproof. its kind of a last resort.
I know its hard but i wish you the best and i hope that it works out for you. You just need to rekindle the love!

Holly - posted on 03/16/2011

Great advice guys! Of course I do want to try for me but I can't help but have my son a massive contributing factor to this! It's only natural! I am assuming for anyone to leave their partner with a child it's hard right?

Kayla - posted on 03/16/2011

Me and my fiance have been together almost 6 years. I knew him since i was fourteen and got together when i was 16. He has a kid from a previous marriage. His wife passed away when their son was almost 2. I have been a mom since i was 16. He is 18 years older then me. So there is a lot of differences and difficulties. It is no fairytale. It is very hard. I am now 21 and his son is almost 10. We are old enough to be brother and sister. Which is hard. But we are getting through it. We fight all the time about discipline and things like that. I am the more strict one and he is so relaxed. I have helped him grow up a lot even though i am so much younger. I have helped him understand a lot of things that he cant get away with. Like going to the store and everytime we go, his son doesnt need to get something. He did this all the time to try and comensate for his moms death. But it got so bad that he would throw tantrums everytime we go somewhere. It is getting easier for him to tell his son that he doesnt need something everytime we go somewhere. But that is just a few of his flaws. But who doesnt have flaws. My flaw is i can be to strict sometimes. But we tell each other when we are messing up. We try and not to yell at each other, because yelling is just going to get both of you even more mad. So we try and sit down and talk things out. About how we feel and how our day went. We had our first son together when i was 19.
There has been times where i have just want to leave him and never talk to him again. But when i thought like that we were always mad each other. When i think about leaving him and how his son wont get to know his dad, i get teary eyed.
Try taking counsling together. That way you two can talk about your feelings together and cant get mad for what you say during your counsling sessons. That is key. But you also both have to be willing to want to work things out. If one of you is not willing to want to work things out then they wont.
I hope things get better for your familys sake. Oh and remember goodtimes you shared and not focus on all the negative. Tell each other things that you like about each other everyday. Remember why you both got together. That helps a lot. Tell each other why you love each other and apparently there is a spark between you to, to make a new life. Try and make that spark grow into a flame. It will take time. It is not going to happen right away. It takes patience on both of your parts.

I hope this helps.

Jessica - posted on 03/16/2011

what about trying to go to a counselling meeting together? doing it separate seems fine but why not with the same person at least and with some meetings together.
If you are actually out of love I don't think you'd be asking this question, but be looking for a new place to live or for him to live. If your trying to savage your relationship speaking with him be the best bet but try not to think of your child while doing this, if you truly do only want to keep your relationship together for your child I don't see any hope for your relationship, sorry :(

Jessica - posted on 03/16/2011

If you are staying together just for your child, then no one is going to be happy. You will still fight with your partner and your child will be caught in the middle. If you both have gone to counselling and nothing has changed, then I would say it is time to cut it off.

Amy - posted on 03/16/2011

I think if you have to ask yourself if you really want to be with him then you probably don't. In a lot of cases "staying together for the kids" can actually by worse for them. They can sense the tension of you always fighting and if you are always fighting you are not happy and you should be happy. A happy mom makes a happy baby, it can also make you a better parent to ger rid of all that stress. If you to were to seperate that doesn't mean that you can't still be good parents.

Brandee - posted on 03/16/2011

My husband and I have been married for 7.5 years. During that time we have had many issues to deal with. We have moved 1000 miles away and back, we have llived with both sets of parents at one time or another, we have each had bouts of unemployment, and we have had a baby. There were times, especially when we lived with our parents, when I thought "this marriage is not going to work; it is time for us to separate" but then I tell myself that I promised him until death do us part and I meant that promise. Each time I have had doubts, I never left and gradually things got better. I have been to a counselor before, but my husband won't go. I had to step back and see what I was doing to make the situation better. In most cases I was having such a negative attitude that I was not helping our relationship at all. Just making a small change like texting him a quick I love you in the mornings made him make small changes too. Don't ever expect that the other person is going to change because that is not something you can control. You can only do things to change yourself. There is no one else in my life that I would want with me during the good or bad times. He has never left me during the bad times and that shows me he is committed to our marriage too. Our love is not the same as it was when we got married, it is a different but deeper love now and I am glad to have him as my partner for life. You have to make the decision for yourself, but don't make a rash decision. Keep in mind that change take time before you see results. I will definitely say a prayer for you because I know how you feel.

Good Day! - posted on 03/16/2011

I fully believe that love is a choice, not a feeling. Sure you can feel all lovey dovey and stuff, but that's not true love. When you chose to show love to your partner, regardless of what he's doing, that's true love. Then, if he still wants to separate it's on him...you've done what you can do.

Pinky - posted on 03/16/2011

hi holly,
well am going through the same phase as you..even i had got pregnant after 6months and now having a baby girl who is one year of age... i do not know what i can do as well...because sometimes you feel like ending it all but thinking about the baby worries alot...may be through this post i would get some advice too...

tc..

Holly - posted on 03/16/2011

Ps thank you so much for all your advice and keep it coming!

Holly - posted on 03/16/2011

We're meant to be getting married in 6 months. I want to indefinitely call it off but my fiance doesn't. We were great before I fell pregnant, even before bubs came along but we were pretty much still in the honeymoon phase! I also wonder if he hadn't got completely comfortable with me yet (Although we were living together from day dot) He always tries to be such a funny guy now. All the time and I say why can't you just be serious! You never used to be like this but that's when he says I wasn't myself then. I do think we would still be together without our son but I also think we wouldn't be having the problems we are! I'm nervous about moving out because I know distance DOES make the heart grow fonder! So if we had time apart I'm scared it will make me run straight back but we'll fall straight into our old habits again! It's always little stupid things we have massive fights over. Although I do think he's lazy and I do everything! I know it could be worse but that's because men have a reputation of not doing anything so when I say to someone, he did the washing up tonight, they're like isn't he good but I'm like yeah but do you know what I did? And when he says why didn't you do the washing up? I'm like because I was putting our son to sleep! What about after he went to sleep. It was 930! I was tired! And what do you think he was doing the whole time? Nothing! Am I expecting too much?

♥Lena - posted on 03/16/2011

April no one deserves that kinda of treatment! I hope you can get out before it gets worse.

Jannelle - posted on 03/16/2011

My husband and I are going through a rough patch ourselves. I'm due with my second child at the end of this month and have a 2.5 year old. He is depressed and I have no energy. We are constantly fighting about everything. I have to put myself in his shoes and realize what he is feeling and try to be sympathetic. It has helped some but not fully. I have considered leaving him but realize that I cannot live without him. In the end he is my love and I need to support him. You need to figure out exactly what the problem is and understand how he is feeling. Some men are actually more complex then they let us think. I've been with my husband for 7 years and it has been a rollercoaster ride. Try to figure out what really matters to you and what really matters to him. Don't give up after a few sessions some things take time to fix. I wish you the best of luck.

April - posted on 03/15/2011

I know how you feel. I was with my husband for around 3 months when I got pregnant. We got married 2 months befor our daughter was born (She's 2 1/2 now), and he treats me like dirt. I was a stay at home mom, but now I work as a nanny while trying to find a different job so my husband will stop calling me a 'lazy bi*tch' that doesn't care about my family. I have to ask permission to do anything out of the house, and if I go anywhere I come home to accusations of cheating on him.... when my daughter goes everywhere with me! I have never cheated on him, but honestly the way he's acting I'd do it in a heartbeat. I'm not in love with him, not like I used to be. I want him out, but until I find a better job I can't afford it. I've been told to seek marital counciling, but I honestly think that he's not going to change. Sometimes, I think you need to do what's best for you and your child, even if it means not being with their father. I plan on kicking my husband out as soon as I can afford my bills on my own.

Ashley - posted on 03/15/2011

i have not been in this situation b4 but i think if u have to ask urself that ? then ur not in love anymore.

Micaela - posted on 03/15/2011

Sometimes it doesn't matter how long you've been together, it just matters how you work together. Before you had the baby what was your relationship like? Do you have things in common, do you share some of the same interests?

What do you want out of life? What does he want out of life? Are you heading in the same direction?

Are you fighting about important things, or are you fighting over silly little things that end up blowing up much bigger than they are? If it's the latter then you need to stop and think about what's really upsetting/annoying you and get it out in the open. So does he.

Do you have time together without talking about babies/relationship ?

Do you have time apart to get some 'me' time and a bit of breathing room?

If you take your son out the equation, is he the type of person you want to spend the majority of your life with? Has he turned out to be the type of guy that you thought he would be? You need to be able to look at it from a different perspective, and if he wasn't your sons father would you still even be together? If the answer is no then you should probably seperate, if the answer is yes then you need to focus on all the things about him that you love and try to express all of that through the counselling sessions. Maybe try to get him to do the same.

Megan - posted on 03/15/2011

I know where you are coming from on this, me and my boyfriend had been together for almost a year when I got pregnant and we fight constantly. I just recently moved in with him bt im not sure if it is working out. We want it to work, but not sure if it is for the right reasons. I guess if you are not happy then its probably for the best, you've gotta do what is best for you and your baby, thats what I am going off of. Let me know what you decide, i need all the advicei can get :)

Megan - posted on 03/15/2011

I know where you are coming from on this, me and my boyfriend had been together for almost a year when I got pregnant and we fight constantly. I just recently moved in with him bt im not sure if it is working out. We want it to work, but not sure if it is for the right reasons. I guess if you are not happy then its probably for the best, you've gotta do what is best for you and your baby, thats what I am going off of. Let me know what you decide, i need all the advicei can get :)

♥Lena - posted on 03/15/2011

I personally think if you can picture each other with other people without cringing of jealousy then maybe there is no hope...maybe it's best to take some time apart and see if you miss each others presence at all. My husband and I have almost been together 7 years and TRUST me it has been far from bliss.....we've taken time away a lot we both had A LOT of growing up to do and now we have been been going strong for almost 2 years consecutively no time apart at all (besides him working otr as a truck driver) things do get better but it takes two to make them get better, find out why the fighting keeps happening etc. and try but if you've tried and feel as if your at a dead end then its better for both of you to move on but remain respectful towards each other and friends for the child's sake : )

Ashley - posted on 03/15/2011

I have been in a similar situation we did counseling he still refused to listen to there advice and i called it quits when my son was around a year. The main resone i let it last as long as i did was because of my son but to be honest my ex dident even give a crap about my son until after we split it was the best decision for us and now im in a relationship that is amazing but the thing is spliting up causes a ton of issues including one less pay check, custody battles and so much more i sugest trying to get away just the two of you see if its the day to day making you fight or if there is anything left in your relationship. Im not sure what your problems are but the first few years are realy stressfull it does get better depending on what the issues are, also counsellings can take a long time to work and i agree that you should be doing it together.

Audrey - posted on 03/15/2011

part of the reason you are fighting all the time is because you are stressed from adding a baby to the mix when you guys hadnt been together just the two of you for very long beforehand. i know all about this. my husband and i only dated a week before gettingengaged and then married 6 weeks after that. a week before our wedding i found out i was prego. so i understand exactly how hard it is. i dont know if you guys are married or not but if not i would kinda treat your relationship like you are married. stay commmited to the commitment and push thru. think to yourself, " how would i feel if he walked away right now and didnt want me anymore?" if the thought of not having him in your life as you hubby or significant other makes you want to cry, then you are meant to be. if you honestly feel like you could live without him, then call it quits. it is completly normal though to hate someone and love them at the same time. and by the way, my husband and i now have 2 kids and have been married almost 4 years and we are going strong. good luck to you!