How do you moms deal with a stubborn, strong-willed 3 year old?

Shera Marie - posted on 05/29/2013

I have a daughter that will be six soon. I have barley had to give her a time out. Now i have my little man i am at a loss i dont no what to do i have tryed time out,spankings dont even faze him, the 1,2,3 count down (nope) he throws a fit and he can go for over an hour. I try not to give in b/c then he wins and that does not help the situation but after that long he gets so worked up i dont no what to do

Megan - posted on 01/27/2010

I've done the spanking bit when it's something that can really harm him (like a hot oven or stove). But that doesn't even work. For example, he came over to the stove, I warned him, it's hot it'll give you a bad owie, then he comes over again, this time hand extended to touch, then I spanked him. NO, it can give you a bad owie. After the spanking he managed to get over there again when my back was turned and actually burned himself. If it didn't work for a hot stove, I don't really want to engage in that behavior, I'm worried he'll pick it up and start hitting his siblings.

Krystle - posted on 01/27/2010

I just got done with that stage. My son is the exact same way and was very bad. I know what you're going thru but really just stay consistent and eventually he will know you mean business. I am still dealing with it now that he's 4 but its not as bad anymore. Everyone always told me about terrible 2s but I now know the horrible 3s are far worse than terrible 2s.

Brandy - posted on 01/27/2010

This may seem a little old school, but have you tried spanking him? I know that isn't a very popular option these days, but if done in a loving manner, it can be very affective. There a a few guidelines I like to go by to make sure I never spank for the wrong reason or to hurt my daughters. You CAN NOT be mad when you spank. If you spank because you are mad, it is no different than one child hitting another. Parents only spank as a consequence. Children often remember a spanking better than a time out... until they are teenagers at least. Also you must be very careful on how hard you spank. Marks are not necessary to discipline. Let them know you love them and that you are there for them and eventually they will understand you are doing it for their own good, not because you want to hurt them. I look at it like, if spanking is the only way to make them obey, then it is my job as a parent to do whatever is necessary to make sure they will be safe and well behaved. I hate to do it but I would rather have them obey than one day when I say "stay with me", they do not, and they run off and get hurt or taken. As with any discipline it is the motive behind your actions that matter, not the action itself. Do it out of love, and they will see that and show you the love and respect you deserve.

Ashley - posted on 01/27/2010

Whatever you do stay consistant. It may seem like it doesn't work but by staying consistant it will eventually. If your child goes to daycare talk to the people who care for him and get on the same page with discipline. I had trouble following through because I felt like my daughter forgot why she was being punished so I would cave and let her play with toys she had gotten taken away when her additude was better. I realized she did remember and had figured me out before I figured her out! So no she loses privileges for the whole day if she miss behaves, has a bad additude, or is mean to her toys, we just remind her why she lost them and if she gets upset we dont engage her. You might also try talking to your sons dr often they have ideas for age appropriate dicipline. Sorry hope it's just a stage like my daughters seemed to be! She is 3 years 7 months and her additude is much nicer and it's easier to reason with her already! Good luck!

Sheryll - posted on 01/27/2010

My son is exactly the same.Im at a loss aswel.I hate having to tell him over over to do something or not to do something.We have got a naughty corner and we have to actually hold him in the corner because he packs a big tantrums and run away.We were looking on the internet bout child defiance and there is a thing called ODD ( Look it up) Nearly all the decryption is my son to a T.So I hope someone can help you and it will help me aswell.