How hard is it to have two kids under two?

[deleted account] ( 105 moms have responded )

I have a five month old daughter and just found out that I am pregnant with my second child (not planned!!!). I am freaking out because they are going to be thirteen months apart and everyone keeps telling me how hard it is going to be...has anyone else gone through this, if so was it hard or is that just something people say to scare you?

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Brittany - posted on 04/26/2009

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My brother and I are 13 months apart and I will say somethings where hard for my parents, even more so when we fought but my parents did the best job they could with us. I think being closer in age helps kids get along better, yeah their going to fight and drive you crazy but hey you get to remind them oh it when they get older. Here's what my mom always told me: Keep your head on your shoulders no matter how hard it gets. Make sure you and your husband work together no matter what. And always take some time of you when you can and take time with each other. There are ups and downs to it all but in the end it works out the way in needs to.

Sarah - posted on 04/25/2009

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My kids are 14 months and they were both under 2, now they are 1 and 2. I am not going to say it is not hard. It can be, but there times where it is easy. You need to have them on a schedule and your oldest even if she/he is little. Let them help, by just holding the diaper while changing the other one, let them hold their sibling with help, etc. We let our daughter be a helper and it helped us out. As they grow, you will probably see them become very good friends.

Candace - posted on 04/25/2009

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My kids are exactly 13 months and 2 days apart. I didn't find it very hard and still don't. I kept my oldest to a routine and when my youngest was old enough to have the same routine I put him on it. Now my kids have naps at the same time so I have time to unwind and get ready for the rest of the day. I would say no it isn't hard at all.

Tabitha - posted on 04/25/2009

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My son was 4 1/2 months old when we got pregnant again. It was quite a shock. It wasn't planned at all. My son and daughter are exactly one year and three weeks apart. I was so scared. My son is still a baby himself, what am I going to do?!?! At times it is really difficult. It's like you have twins. But then again, now your kids will always have a playmate. It's so great watching them chase eachother around, that a lot of the time, I find myself right down there with them. My little girl just turned one last week and they just have a ball with one another!! Everything will be fine!! You're gonna do great! =)

Amy - posted on 04/25/2009

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My son was still 1 years old when my daughter was born last June (a month later he turned 2). Sometimes it hard but now that she is 10 months old, my son keeps her entertained while I cook/clean/do housework. But you know how mother's intstincts are: it can be hard but you don't mind the hard times because you love your kids. It gets difficult when they are both crying simultaneously or their diapers need changing at the same time, etc, but then there are those WONDERFUL times when they play together and laugh together. When my son is sleeping, my daughter is actually bored and MISSES him...it makes it all worthwhile. Please, don't worry, like everything else in life, there are the good times and bad times...I know you will do great with both of them once your new addition is here! It truly does come as second nature!

Nikkie - posted on 04/25/2009

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jus watch i had a c-section with both of mine it will take a lil longer to heal because the scare it still fresh but other then that take all the help u can get my bestfriend came an stayed for 2 weeks for me an it was great

Nikkie - posted on 04/25/2009

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i mean it is not that bad i have one of each a boy an i a girl mine at 1 year 1 month an 13 days appart i mean they do have their days but 98 percent of the time they are like bestfriends i mean yea it may be a lil hard at first on u because the older one tends to want more mommie time because they feel left out jus try to include them in taken care of the baby an helping but mine at 2 an 3 now an they play together all the time an look out for each other even tend to rat each other out but love it an i would never change anthing thank hope this helps nikkie alton an zoey

Carrie - posted on 04/25/2009

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My first two are 19 months apart - and I am 3.5 months pregnant with my 3rd. I had a c-section with the 1st, 2nd and will with the 3rd too. It was semi hard to come home and not be able to pick up the oldest. But having a supportive husband goes a long way. I just made sure to have help for the 1st week until I could pick both kids up. I LOVE the way they are - I wouldn't trade a thing! We will see how 3 goes. But - most everyones reaction when we told them was "Was it planned". And yes it was - if we have 4, they will probably be closer to 1 year apart. I want kids and want them close together. Best of luck - two wasn't so bad for us - I wouldn't trade anything that we have done so far!!! Just be prepared to ask for help if you need it - don't be afraid!

Melissa - posted on 04/25/2009

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Hi there, Im reading your story and smiling b/c thats ME! I had a 4 1/2 mth old baby girl and got pregnant with another...not planned! Pregnancy was hard running after a now 13 mth old baby and I just had my son 8 days ago. Its a joy but ppl have been telling me all the same so for now Im trying my best to see if I can get my newbprn's schedule around my 13 mth old ...oh and Im a working mom too..>Crazy!

Katie - posted on 04/25/2009

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My children are 14 months apart.I thought it was going to be really hard having 2 so close together but I wouldn't trade it for the world.My son is almost 18 months old now and wants to be a little helper.His sister is 3 months old and is a good baby.Don't get me wrong there are some really stressful moments, like when they are both crying and trying to soothe both of them or when they want to both eat at the same time.But all I do is just go at my own pace and do things my way.Good luck, you will do fine!

Jacqui - posted on 04/25/2009

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i have two girls madison is 2 amd amelia is 5months i kinda freaked out too and was worried what everyone one would say but i have too say it not as bad as i thought yes you have your bad nights but you have your good night too i only have two pointers make sure that your little that you have now is in the best routine you can manage and when your new one comes along and your at home by yourself and you have too feed the new one have some thing to entertaine the older one i had trouble because my eldest one just wanted to climb all over me and wanted all my attention so make sure if you can and there willing too have somthing for them too do

Morgan - posted on 04/25/2009

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Quoting Rach:

Thank you so much for all of your answers :)

I suppose I am more scared because I know I will be having a c-section with this one as well and I remember how hard it was just keeping up doing the house work after the surgery let alone having another child to look after!


Don't be scared.. I have two girls 13 months apart both delivered by c-section.  It is a little hard at first while recovering but as long as you have help from friends and family the first week it will be fine.  And who cares if the house is a little messy you have two precious little ones to look after no one will mind.  Just get into a routine try and get them to nap around the same time so you can have me time or cleanning time.  And with them being so close there won't be much jealousy.  My 16 month old loves to help out she feeds her sister, rocks her, burps her, gives her kisses, plays toys with her and loves to cuddle with her.   You'll do just fine so don't worry.  It's not as scary as it seems.

Jenny - posted on 04/25/2009

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I HAD MY FIRST SON ON 28 NOV 2007 AND MY DAUGHER 0 NOV 2008 IT IS HARD START WITH AS UR NEW BABY GOT BIGGER U WILL FOUND IT EASIER MY SON NOW 17 MONTHS AND MY DAUGHER 5MONTHS AND 2 WEEKS OLD IM LOVEING EVER MIN OF IT

Caroline - posted on 04/25/2009

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I had a 12 month old and a new baby too look after as well as a 8 yr old it was hard to start with but after a couple of weeks we had a routine going and things get much easier. If your worried about not spending quality time with your oldest my advice would be to put the baby in its bed and spend an hour with your child and dont be afraid to ask a friend or relative to help with washing house work or talking the children out for an hour while you put your feet up and catch up on sleep or just wash your hair and shave your legs! it is hard but when they tell you they love you it makes it all worth while
Good luck

Martha - posted on 04/25/2009

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My daughter was 3 months old when I found out I was pregnant with my second, my son. The pregnancy was difficult, but I just kept on thinking I need to take car of my baby. I didn't act like a pregnant woman, I acted like a mom that needed to take care of her infant, but that was until my belly started bumping into things. Then before I know it my water broke at 33 weeks. My son was in the NICU for 3 weeks. I was in the hospital for 2 weeks, I developed a blood clot and and had to stay in the hospital. So you could just imagine the craziness, and all with a 1 yr old as well. I never once felt like if I couldn't do it, no matter what anybody would tell me. The first 6 months were very difficult, but everyday got easier and easier. The breaking point for me was when they would both cry at the same time just to cry. That's when I would have to step away for a second and regain my composure. Now they are 2 1/2 and 1 1/2. They love each other very much, and they kinda equall each other out. They have a love hate relationship. Don't listen to all the mean things people say about having 2 kids back to back, I honestly think it is easier. I have them at the same level. I don't have to treat them differently just because one is older.

Samantha - posted on 04/25/2009

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I have a 3 year old, a 17 month old and am due any day to have my 3rd child. My mom always said that the first year after having two would be the hardest year of my life, but I didn't find it to be too hard. Are you staying home with the kids? Your oldest one will get interested in things she really likes that will help keep her occupied. Newborn babies sleep a lot and therefore you will have time for your daughter. Try to prepare her now by not giving her all of the attention she desires. Remember, the house work and all the "chores" can wait. Take care of yourself first.

Lee-Anne - posted on 04/25/2009

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i have 7 kids 6 live with me an 11yr old and 5 boys 5 and under some days are harder than the rest and yes the first month or so u will feel stressed like its too much to handle but after that it gets a lot better its not as hard as it looks its just anoth mouth to feed and another bum to change and when u get that down pat tou kinda look back and ask your self why did i worry

Stacey - posted on 04/25/2009

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i have 2 children 2 years apart, and i thought i was going to be hell but it wasnt that bad . i have been told the closer together they are the easier it is. you will get to nap when the kids do being 13 months apart i assume they would still be napping. the oldest will still want to be in the pram when out ect. i have a friend that has boys 18months apart said it fitted really well and would never have a bigger gap. the boys are best friends and keep each other entertained. you can do it :) ur a mum u can do anything :)

Tara - posted on 04/25/2009

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my two are also 13 months apart

it can be hard untill you get a routine going

but it does get easier

my kids are now 6 and 7 and the best of friends

Renae - posted on 04/24/2009

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It is not hard at all. I have 2 boys 15 months apart, they are now 3 and 5 and they are the best of friends. If I had to do it all over again I would do it the same way. Don't be scared everything will work out and you get in a groove and it will be a wonderful experience!

Cathy - posted on 04/24/2009

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hi i have got 2 boys they are 15 months apart, dylan is now 3 and lewis is 21 months, to be honest it isnt that hard, sometimes it can be but mostly not, and as they get older it gets more easy because they can play and amuse each other, my boyfriend mostly works nights so i done it mostly by myself. u just get used to it. my sister is also going through the same her babys will be 12 months apart, same thing i told her u just get on with it and learn to cope with 2 close together, good luck

Shawna - posted on 04/24/2009

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I have a 19 month old daughter and a 7 month old son. They are 12 1/2 months apart and it has been a long 7 months. In the beginning it was difficult because my oldest is very active and needs a lot of attention. She would always find something bad to do like climbing onto the kitchen table while I was breastfeeding. Now since the younger is crawling and playing, they get along great. The last month or so has been so much easier because they entertain each other. We still have tough days, like when they are both sick at the same time, but altogether thinks are getting much easier!

Carla - posted on 04/24/2009

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its not really hard just have to have patients mine are 23 months and 6 months 18 months apart my daughter adapted well she just wants to help alot and the best thing to do is give them both equal attention

Sarah - posted on 04/24/2009

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its hard love but bear it, its worth knowing that every other(older) mum is jealous you can cope, their nothing special give yourself a pat on the back. you done it once you can do it again just expect no social life!!x

[deleted account]



Quoting Lorianne:

I have a 9 month old son and i am 6 months pregnant with my second child so i know how you feel.I also had a c-section with my first child and will also with my second .I dont know how im going to do it but im glad i will have my mom to help.



 



I too had 2 c-sections in 17 months, and it's not bad. You recover so much better the second time around. It's like your body knows you have another one to take care of. With my first I could hardly handle the car ride home from the hospital ,  getting out of the car and even walking. With the second It was like I didn't even have a c-section, I even carried him in the car seat when we arrived home...lol. I was like "am I suppose to be carrying him in his carseat?"  You'll do great, and you'll be amazed how fast you recover.





 

[deleted account]

my daughter was nine months old when I got pregnant with my second. They are now 1 1/2 and almost 3, it's alot of work, but you'll be able to handle it. The first year can be a little stressful as they are both very dependent on you. I was always tired, but I think that goes with motherhood anyway you look at it...lol. Now my kids play together which is really nice, and now I only have one in diapers...lol. Good luck, you'll do fine and your children will be best friends!!!!

Lauren - posted on 04/24/2009

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i am going through the same thing,i had a 3 month old daughter and fell pregnant again unexpectedly also,i got the same thing that it will be tough,but you will only know once you have the baby yourself,people handle things in different ways.Im not worried just deal with things as they come.Good luck with it all!

Naomi-Leigh - posted on 04/23/2009

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hi, i just had my second bub, little boy 5 weeks ago now... his big sister is not so big at 16 months! everone had an opinion when they found out it was planned, but every mother i spoke to who had actually experienced it said the same thing. the first year can be a chaotic and trying, but after that it can be easier as they become friends and can play together happily. ammusing each other as twins would. my daughter loves her little brother; she kisses and cuddles him, runs to him when he cries, and dont dare try to keep them apart, she wont have it! not a sign of jealousy yet.

just let people know that you only want constructive criticism, negativity for the sake of it is a waste of energy.

there are many positives including; financially you already have everything for bub (only an extra car seat and double pram was needed for us), it can be hard to get used to everthing again when there is a large gap...like nappies, sleepless nights and losing your figure... you wont have that problem, and hopefully they will end up close in friendship not just years!

so dont worry too much, its not easy but its not all hard either. all ages have different challenges, logically why would this way be so much harder? its not.

good luck!

Morgan - posted on 04/23/2009

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Isn't it comforting to know that you are not alone? My daughters were born 11 and a half months apart (the oldest of which was "medically challenged"). You'll "cope" just fine with two little ones. Rest when you can and accept help when it is offered. Your children will have a very special bond that you will delight in watching as they grow together.

Kimberly - posted on 04/23/2009

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I have a 4yr old, 3yr old and 5mth old twins. I love all my girls and wouldn't trade it for anything. It has it's moments however when you find your routine and stick to it everything fall into place. It's the teen stage you have to worry about....lol Don't worry about everyone's opinion. I heard so much negative stuff said it stressed me out. Now I take care of my girls and work full time. It's not that bad!

Angela - posted on 04/23/2009

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Well I have two twin girls that just turned 2. They are difficult. Didnt sleep through the night till ten months and they still have issues. They are picky eaters to. But they are funny playful and loving. I think organization, schedules and multi-tasking is the key, and a helpful partner( i am lucky here). If all those things are good I say go for it and your kids will be close and have a ton of fun together.

Lorianne - posted on 04/23/2009

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I have a 9 month old son and i am 6 months pregnant with my second child so i know how you feel.I also had a c-section with my first child and will also with my second .I dont know how im going to do it but im glad i will have my mom to help.

Rebecca - posted on 04/23/2009

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it really isn't that hard. i had twins that were 19 months old when my third was born. it was nice cause i new what to handle and how. Just ignore them. As long as you Believe in yourself you can do anything. It was a little hard at first (like the first two week) then i got myself in to this groove. Try and time things around the same time as you new born schedule. Your other child will be adaptable.

JoAnna - posted on 04/23/2009

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Its like having twins my son was 9 months old when i got preggo with my daughter not planned it was hard at first but they are the best of frens right now 3 and 2 1/2 i wouldnt have it anty other way. The biggest thing was my son was jealous at first and when he started realizing she was a real person about 5 or 6 months old then she was ok and he is the best big brother she could ask for.

Keara - posted on 04/23/2009

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Hi my daughter and son are 14 months apart and i had c secctions for both of them. My advice is routine, routine, routine! It will save your sanity! I basically survived the first 8 weeks then promptly tried to forget them!lol After the first 8 weeks you get into the swing of things and it it great when they start playing together (they are now 2 and 1). Get help when you can, get sleep when you can and enjoy!

Melissa - posted on 04/23/2009

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I have 2 handsome boys who are 14 months apart. I was told the same things, everyone telling me that my hands are going to be full, My first son was very attatched, we wouldnt go to sleep unless I was holding him. I often thought how the heck am I going to do this? Since my boyfriend at the time wasnt much help, I thought I was doomed. well the day came and everything came together naturally. My first son had to deal with mommy not being able to hold him all the time and he still loves his brother even though he doesnt get his mommy to himself. They are going to be 3 and 4. Yes I do have my hands full but in a good way and I wouldnt trade it for anything in the world!

Jessica - posted on 04/23/2009

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My cousin has a 2 year old and a 1 year old. she struggles with it daily, especially now that she is newly divorced. But Tori, the older one, was a big help to Abby, the younger one. always helping mommy and wanting to play with her. So I think from an outsider's perspective, its hell but a blessing at the same time. They will help each other, learn together and grow together. They will probably be very close when they are older due to the close age. And that can make it sooooo much easier!

[deleted account]

Thank you so much for all of your answers :)



I suppose I am more scared because I know I will be having a c-section with this one as well and I remember how hard it was just keeping up doing the house work after the surgery let alone having another child to look after!

Mari - posted on 04/23/2009

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My kids are 22 months apart. It's not as bad as everyone says it is. Once you get yourself into a good routine with your kids, it will be fine.

Lorraine - posted on 04/23/2009

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I had my two 12 1/2 months apart. They are now 2 1/2 and 1 1/2 and they get on so well together. Is it hard? Well being a parent is hard work even when its just one. I didn't actually find it that much more work as for starters they were both having two naps a day, they are both in cloth nappies, you can bath them together, etc. The older one usually tries to comfort the younger one if they are crying and also plays with the 2nd one. The hardest is when they both want you at once but then they just have to learn to take turns. The 2nd one usually isn't so demanding as the 1st one as the 1st one has had a year of mum to herself but the 2nd learns from day 1 to share mummy.

The hardest thing is if you end up with a c/sec for number 2 as the 1st one wants you to pick her up but you just can't for a while.

The best advice I can say is get your first one in a routine and preferably sleeping through the night.

[deleted account]

Quoting Rach:

How hard is it to have two kids under two?

I have a five month old daughter and just found out that I am pregnant with my second child (not planned!!!). I am freaking out because they are going to be thirteen months apart and everyone keeps telling me how hard it is going to be...has anyone else gone through this, if so was it hard or is that just something people say to scare you?



I HAVE A TWO YR OLD AND EXPECTING IN 3DAYS!!! I THINK THE SMALLER THE BETTER. SHES ONLY FIVE MONTHS. SHES NOT RUNNING AROUND AND GETTING INTO EVERYTHING. SO YOU HAVE SOME WHAT CONTRL OVER HER!!! MY COUSIN KIDS ARE ONLY 10 MONTHS APART AND SHE LOVED IT!!!!! i WOULDN'T FREAKOUT. ITS HARDER WHEN THIER BIGGER. MY OPINION I'VE SEEN IT AND LIVED IT!!!

Tiffany - posted on 04/23/2009

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I was so happy to find this thread! I am currently 5 mos with my third (which mentally, I don't think I'm prepared for yet). My daughter is 13 mos old and my son is 7. I've noticed that everyone is so quick to be condescending and judgemental. I never once thought that raising children would be easy. On the contrary, I was a teenager when my sisters were born and I remember how tired my mom was and how fustrating it was when my baby sister would just cry for hours. But it stops and as much as you sometimes feel like you're ready to pull your hair out, the unconditional love is just that much more amazing. I know it's going to be hard on my daughter, whose very much mommy's little girl (but even my son is still a momma's boy, and I love that my kids love me so much!) I have every intention on showing her the love and attention she as a baby still deserves. My only regret is that I can't stay home with them! I would give anything to be a stay at home mom just to be with them on a more regular basis. Good luck to you all!

Elizabeth - posted on 04/23/2009

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Don't let people scare you! My kids are 2 (and a few days) and 9 mos. I was scared at first, but now I think it's easier. I didn't have to 'get back into' diapers & I've already got all the current toys! I eventually just started pointing out that most naysayers either don't have kids, or theirs are far apart in age. Most who actually lived through my situation were quite supportive & would chase off the 'bad' ones! One elderly woman at the grocery store chastised a naysayer with older, spaced in age kids! When she told the other woman to keep her wagging no-nothing tongue to herself- I almost wet my pants, I laughed so hard!

Abigail - posted on 04/23/2009

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I have 2 boys that are 15 months apart, they are 2 and 3 i was not planed but it has been the best thing to hapen thay are best frineds they play together all the time i am trying for #3 and hoping to have 3 and 4 close togeter also. for me it was awesome. hard at time but in the end i would never do anything different you will do fine. best of luck

Angel - posted on 04/23/2009

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i dont think the age thing has anything to do with it being hard i think... just having two young kids is hard...my daughter was 2 when i had my son and now he is gonna be one and she is 3 and it seems everytime i am playing with on the other wants me same with holding them and giving attention... so its just not easy... thankfuly come 530 at night my sons mood changes bc daddy comes in and forget about mom then my daughter likes to climb all over me to play cuddle ect...lol.... just make sure that u make time for your self or u will go nuts at some point between the crying and diapers the lil one not sleeping at first.. or both of them getting up at one point...best of luck too u.. its only as hard as u let it be sometimes.....

Sabrina - posted on 04/23/2009

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You sound just like me.. I have 2 boys that are 15 months apart, they are now 1 and 2 and it is VERY hard!! I dont want to tell you a bad story but I will tell you my story.. My oldest son was 6 months old when I found out I was pregnant again. I was just getting use to the idea of having a new baby so I wasent too happy about it. After my 2nd son was born I was happy but that was short lived.. I started feeling very overwhelmed and to make a long story short I had a little postpartum. I saw my dr about it and it was the best thing I ever did. Everyone told me that it would get better after the first year but a year is a long time! Now that my youngest is a year old it is definatly alot better but its still very demanding at times.. Just know that you are not alone and always talk about your feelings to your close friends and family or to other moms that have been through this. I wish you the best of luck and keep your head up.. I promise it does get easier!

Maria - posted on 04/23/2009

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it all depends my son and my middle child were two years apart and thank God my son wasn't jealous i didn't let it happen i gave them both the same attention now i have another baby 6 months old so i have three and they are 2 yrs apart each and all under 5 so it can be hard at times but this might sound bad to some but you make the older once mommy's little helper and you let them help you with the baby and let them know you are such a good boy or good girl and always give them the same attention as possible. for me the only bad thing is going out to the stores i don't go alone any more either with friends or their dad bacause they are all in car seats and that can be alittle hard but don't be scared you will be fine i was scared to i thought three kids how am i going to do but it all falls in to place.

Allison - posted on 04/23/2009

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Calm down, yes it is hard my son turned 16 mos the day after my daughter was born. And at 16 mos they are still babies but you will find a routine and everything will fall in to place! And for me there is nothing better than to have all three of my kids in my lap at the end of the day although its a very full lap with a 3yr old a 17month old and a 1 month old and the day has been long! Its the best feeling in the world!

Kira - posted on 04/23/2009

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Look I have 3 kids. When the 3rd was born, I had 3 kids under 3 years to cope with. There is just 16months between the two eldest and while it was hard for the first few weeks, things settled down rather quickly. I think that 'number 3' is the hardest.

Averil - posted on 04/23/2009

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Hi

I fell pregnant with twins when my first son was just 11 mths old, so he was 19 mths when they were born... It was hard but i just took one day at a time n tried to enjoy the good moments n forget the bad. i think its important not to freak out its all going to be a big mind game n trying to stay positive will be the key. Now my oldest son is 5 my first set of twins r 4 n my second set of twins (definatly UNplanned) r 8 mths. The second set arrived jsut 2 wks before my oldests 5th birthday, so i had 5 under 5 just!! They all get along extemely well n the older ones r just so keen to help. Just one day at a time n dont forget to smile :-) n enjoy the good times... good luck xxx

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