HOW MANY OF US WORK?? HOW MANY STAY HOME?

Nicole - posted on 02/03/2009 ( 172 moms have responded )

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I just wanted to know how many of us young moms go to work? I have two wonderful sons David who is 4 years old and Matthew who is 9 months. David is in school but I still stay home with Matthew. I have not worked in two years. i would like to get a job to help my husband but I dont want to be away from my boys. How many of you feel the same way?

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Crystal - posted on 02/13/2009

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I am a self-employed Massage Therapist and stay at home part time with my kids. I guess I sort of do both. I think that it is good for the kids to have playtime with other kids so they can develop social skills.

Amy - posted on 02/12/2009

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Hi,



I tried going back to work full time when my son was 8 months old. I was working 12 hour shifts. On my two days off each week I was doing mass cooking .. I made and froze a weeks worth of meals on my days off. I also did a massive cleaning in the process of cooking. I was spending no time with my son. I found myself going into his bedroom when I got home from work and holding him and I would just cry. The breaking point for me was when I had a day off and my husband was working ( it happened like that a lot which made it that much harder). I was so exhausted I had no energy for my son. I barley could get around. I decided then working full time was not for me at this point. I searched for a few months being very particular looking for a part time job. I have now found a wonderful job that I look forward to going to 3 days a week!! I work Wednesday afternoons 12-5 helping run a fit and fun camp at a elementary school. I also run a gymnastics gym friday evenings and all day Saturday. I will be working the entire March Break and full time mon-fri in the summer running the camps. I get to work with children which I love. I also do some PR work with the parents as well. It is always nice talking to other parents. I also watch a before and afterschooler Mon, tue, wed, and friday. Since I am home all day these days I decided to take in a child to make some extra as well. My money is paying off our credit cards and my student loan. We did not need me to work however by me working only 18 hours a week we have a much better life overall. In a few months all of our debt will be paid off completely. We will then be saving all my money each month to pay off our home early and then from there we will be building a new home the way we would like in the next 5 years. ( my husband works in construction so we are lucky in that department a brand new home will not cost us too much.) Just think of things that you are good at. Do you like cleaning? Put an add up on kijiji looking to clean homes, If you love children offer sitting services in your home, If you love animals offer to pet sit, if you can sew offer to hem pants etc.... Set a goal for yourself ( a small attainable goal) of what you would like to make a month. Think of ways that you could make that money using skills you already have and before you know it you will be bringing in a little extra cash. Use it as a vacation fund, or RRSP etc. I save my sons child tax each month for emergencies(car breaks something in the house breaks etc) and we include his diapers etc in our groceries. The Universal amount everyone gets for 100.00/month goes twords an RESP fr our son for school when he is ready to attend. We only spend 200.00/moth on groceries to feed two adults and one 1 year old . I purchase the big box of diapers once a month from Walmart and a big box of wipes the walmart brand as well. I take advantage of me being home a lot and make all of our meals from scratch. All my bake goods I make from scratch as well and purchase all my ingredients in bulk at teh bulk barn to save money. I also never set foot in a grocery store. The Esso in our are has the cheapest milk cheaper then the grocery store. We go to a meat market where the cut the meat up there. It is a lot cheaper and fresher! I purchase the charmin extra strong tolite paper as well as bounty paper towel enough to do a couple months ( it goes on sale at least once a month/ or two months at either Zellers or Walmart!)When I was working we used to spend 600.00 a month on groceries , fast food, brand name diapers, convenience food( junk from irving etc). Now if I want chocolate I just make brownies for the price of one brownie at a convenience store I can make a hole batch!Now by me being home I have saved us 400.00 a month in groceries right there is me contributing and "Working" . Between me working part time , watching the before/after schooler, saving in groceries/babysitting, gas etc I pretty much net what I was working in my career. It took a lot of work and number crunching to be able to make it work. I still have a goal to make another 400.00/ month and am currently trying to figure out a way to make it.Good Luck in whatever you decide to do!!! I hope I was of some help!

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Lucy - posted on 06/13/2011

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I feel the same- my son is 3 this november , have not worked in 3 yrs... single parent so im really stuck..
i believe in being at home for children but... I cant pay
my bills etc... in deep debt as child care costs are not assisted until child is 3?

Crystal - posted on 02/13/2009

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I am a self-employed Massage Therapist and stay at home part time with my kids. I guess I sort of do both. I think that it is good for the kids to have playtime with other kids so they can develop social skills.

Latavia - posted on 02/13/2009

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I felt the same way when my son was born, but his father ended up leaving so I had to do what I had to do. Everybody's situation is different. He's 8yrs old now and i work per diem, so I can schedule myself around his school schedule which works out very well. Daycare is very expensive and even harder for me because not too many daycares have experience with special needs. DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT IT!!

Aleycia - posted on 02/13/2009

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I stayed home with my son for the first 19 months. Since then I have returned to work and I will take the 12 weeks off with this one and return to work.

Tanya - posted on 02/13/2009

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I have a 2 1/2 yr old little boy dylan, when he was born i went on maternity leave, but didn't want to put him in day care as i wanted to miss a thing with him so i went on to night shift ( which didn't work out well in the beginig as i was working for 1am till 6am) so by the time i was getting home hubby was gettiing up to go to work and dylan was also waking so i wasn't getting anysleep till he slept. I done that for a year then switched to 3pm-11.30pm which was working work wise but home wise not to good as i never saw my husband, so then i eventually changed again! to 6pm-1.45am which seems to be working out better (still would like more sleep but luckily enough dylan is happy to have a nap with me in the afternoon). I don't disagree with childcare, but i worked out that if i did work a day shift job, i would only be going to work to pay for child care and prob put $50wk in my pocket. I do put dylan in once a week, because i feel that its good for him to socialize with other kids and also prepare him for school so he's not so upset when i leave him or when his grandparents babysit :)

Andrea - posted on 02/13/2009

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I live in Canada and we get a year for mat. leave but I am planing on going back to work. We want to buy a house and in this city both of us have to work to be able to afford that.

Gemma - posted on 02/13/2009

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i dont know how anyone affords to stay off work. im due back off maternity leave in 4 weeks and dreading it. espeacially now my 2 year old is so used to having me home. i hate other people having them but wouldn't be able to pay the bills if me and my husband both didn't work. im hoping to get grandparebts etc to help cut the cost of childcare

Gemma - posted on 02/13/2009

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i dont know how anyone affords to stay off work. im due back off maternity leave in 4 weeks and dreading it. espeacially now my 2 year old is so used to having me home. i hate other people having them but wouldn't be able to pay the bills if me and my husband both didn't work. im hoping to get grandparebts etc to help cut the cost of childcare

[deleted account]

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Deanna - posted on 02/12/2009

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I feel the same way.  I am a stay at home mum. I have two children and girl who is 4 and a boy who is 4 months caitlyn and kaedin. Caitlyn goes to kindy 2 days a week. I havent worked for 9 months now but i hate not being able to help my partner out.

Nicki - posted on 02/12/2009

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I work; I am currently on maternity leave but have to go back Monday. While it is hard to leave the kids I think it is best for them to be around other kids. However, I would love to stay home with my children but I don't have a choice whether to work or not. I have found a wonderful daycare & preschool in one. It is an in home, husband & wife team and they treat the daycare/preschool kids like their own.

Nicki - posted on 02/12/2009

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I work; I am currently on maternity leave but have to go back Monday. While it is hard to leave the kids I think it is best for them to be around other kids. However, I would love to stay home with my children but I don't have a choice whether to work or not. I have found a wonderful daycare & preschool in one. It is an in home, husband & wife team and they treat the daycare/preschool kids like their own.

Carol - posted on 02/12/2009

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I do daycare out of my house it lets me be home with my girls if they need me and I love it. You can get license to do it call your childcare council or else put a add in the paper and watch the legal amount of kids for your state mine is 2 full time kids. If you are regs. through your state you can watch up to 7 kids You make really good money doing it I have to say it helps pay my bills

Amy-Rae - posted on 02/12/2009

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I have a 4 children, Tyra is 7, William(stepson) is 5, Taylor is 5 and Ashton is 10 1/2 weeks old, I was working but I am on maternity leave right now but will have to go back to work! I would rather stay home with my baby but know I will have to go back, its not fun or fair at all!

Melanie - posted on 02/12/2009

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Fortunately in Canada we get one year of paid maternity leave, so I didn't miss anything before I decided to go back to school.

Amanda - posted on 02/12/2009

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I had my first child just seven weeks ago. As scary as it was I quit work on Monday. I just couldn't face going back and leaving my son in daycare. My husband has two older children from a previous marriage that I adopted in 2006. Even if I had wanted to go to work, paying for daycare for all three kids would have been atrocious, plus my job was quite a distance from my house. We are going to be super tight budget wise but I believe that staying home with my son and being able to spend more time with my older two is more important. If it comes down to it and we absolutely can't afford it, I will get another job but it will probably be some kind of part time evening/weekend thing.

[deleted account]

i went back to work 6 weeks after my first child but three weeks after my second child. have been a stay at home mom for the past 2 years

Lisa - posted on 02/12/2009

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hi i am a stay at home mum i have 2 children evan 2 he starts pre school next wednesday. and i have a daughter called rowan she i 1 and im also pregnant due in augast.i did go back to work for 3 months in the afternoon my husband came in from work and i left to go to work.I found it so hard and was very tired keeping to house running making sure that the children had there tea before i left and make sure our tea was cooked and i wasnt getting in untill 8.00 and by the time i was chilled out it was time to go to bed.I take my hat off to all those mums that can do it.xx

Crystal - posted on 02/12/2009

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I am currently pregnant with our first. However, working versus staying at home is something my husband and I have discussed in depth long before we got pregnant. I have a first shift job, while my husband works second shift. We have a wonderful  stay at home mom neighbor, who is more like a sister that has all but begged to watch the baby when i go back to work. The nice thing is that she will only have the baby for 2 to 3 hours a day while my husband and i are changing shifts.

Paula - posted on 02/12/2009

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I definetely feel the same way.I haven't worked in over a year,but when I did she was 2 then and I missed her like crazy.I worked there for a year and then my husband said i could stay home.So I get to stay home,but now I babysit a couple of kids one is my neice and the other is a friend's kid.Eventually I'm going back to school to be a nutritionist.

Julie - posted on 02/12/2009

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I work full time now but I did stay home with my daughter for two years.  I was ready to go back though. 

Amber - posted on 02/12/2009

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oh i'm the same way. me and my husband dont trust to many people with my two kids. i have a 4 yr old girl who started preschool this year and i have a 2 yr old. i would love to go back to work and be around adults but only if i could work nites so i'm home during the day. i havent worked in the last 4 yrs. and kind of had enough of it. i get to bored some times and need grown up conversations. either on facebook or on the phone.,...lol.

Amber - posted on 02/12/2009

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oh i'm the same way. me and my husband dont trust to many people with my two kids. i have a 4 yr old girl who started preschool this year and i have a 2 yr old. i would love to go back to work and be around adults but only if i could work nites so i'm home during the day. i havent worked in the last 4 yrs. and kind of had enough of it. i get to bored some times and need grown up conversations. either on facebook or on the phone.,...lol.

Samantha - posted on 02/12/2009

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I am a mother of one beautiful almost 3 year old boy! I was a stay at home mom up until he was a year old. It was incredibly hard for me to leave him, but realized it was for the best. As we need interaction with other adults kids need interaction with other children. They need to learn to communicate and play with other kids. They learn things in daycare they sometimes don't with you. Although it may be hard you are doing what is best for your family. I had went back to work to help my Husband. It was not fair to make him pull all the weight when it came to paying the bills. It may be hard and you feel like your children will be mad at you for leaving them, but they learn and understand that you do it for all the right reason. When I get home from work my Son jumps in my arms and shows me all the fun things he did that day. That is my favorite part of the day...So, just give it a try! If you don't like it after a while and don't think it's for the best, then go back to staying home. It really never hurt to try!

User - posted on 02/11/2009

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I have 2 girls, ages 5 and 19 months. My oldest is in school. I worked for a while before I got pregnant with the baby, but I haven't worked in about 2 years. Actually, though, I DO work. Just at home, taking care of them! :)

Jayleen - posted on 02/11/2009

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I am real estate appraiser which means sometimes I am busy and other times not so much. I have a son who is 4 and a daughter who is 2. When my son was born I stayed at home with him for a little over a year and decided to go back to work. We had a full time nanny when I returned to work. She decided to continue school in another state so we decided to give daycare a try. Daycare was actully very good, the social skills of my son progressed very quickly. After my daughter was born I stayed at home with her for a few months then slowly began working again. I spend time in the morning and evening with the kids and it is very special. I do miss them very much durning the day but it reward of walking through the door to see their smiling faces is unexplainable.

Aly - posted on 02/11/2009

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My oldest son is special needs, so either my husband or I have to stay home. I had Tristan in August, a week later Jack was diagnosed with a Wilms tumor. He had his kidney removed then started chemo. My husband left his job then, and I only work part- time. Now that Jack is all done with chemo, my husband wants to go back to work b/c he doesn't feel like a man. (That's what he says.) I am so happy that I stay home. I'm not sure if I'm going to leave my job or not yet. But I'd like to leave and start going to College.

Nicki - posted on 02/11/2009

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i feel exactly the same way,i stopped working after i tried to go back after maternity leave and that lasted about a month,i just couldnt stand being away from austin. my husband works 2 stressful jobs,one in the er and was as a firefighter and i just wish i could go back to work to help with the load a little bit but i just cant put my son in daycare,i wouldnt feel right doing that for some reason, all of the grandparents work and so basically the only option is for me to stay home. i love being home with my son but some days it gets a little routine and i wish i could be in the real world and have real adult conversations with adults since most of my serious conversations are usually with a 2 year old. but yes,stay at home mom here too,and i wouldnt trade it for the world. if it makes you feel better,i know you said you wanted to help your husband,but its a huge help to quit your job and stop your life to take care of your children,thats what my husband tells me,he says my job is much harder then both of his put together so that makes me feel like i'm helping every time i get down about "just being a stay at home mom" :)

Donna - posted on 02/11/2009

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I have a full time job and a part-time business that I started on my own along with my 1st child who is turning 1 soon.  My hubby also works full time.  If I had an option not to work, I still would probably part-time.  I hate missing any time with my baby boy. 

User - posted on 02/11/2009

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hi im jenny i have 2 children abbie who is 4 and thomas is 16months i also have 4 step children who are 17, 15, 14, 12 they all live with myself and my other half. i work full time 48hrs a week but do nights and its ideal for me xx

Rachael - posted on 02/11/2009

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hi im a sahm too i have 4 children and hubby works different shifts so hard to get a job round him. i used to work untill the shop i worked in got held up when i was 5 months  pg with 3rd child and then  hubby changed joba and didnt need to work anymore would love to have a work from home job just to do something  but for now just doing a photography course so i can set up my own studio

Rachael - posted on 02/11/2009

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hi im a sahm too i have 4 children and hubby works different shifts so hard to get a job round him. i used to work untill the shop i worked in got held up when i was 5 months  pg with 3rd child and then  hubby changed joba and didnt need to work anymore would love to have a work from home job just to do something  but for now just doing a photography course so i can set up my own studio

Michele - posted on 02/11/2009

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I also have two boys. Zac is nine and William is 5 months. For the first time I am a stay at hoe mommy. I had to work since Zac was 6 months old. I feel the same way about going back to work.

Kristy - posted on 02/11/2009

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I am a single mom that works! I have 2 children, my son is 11 and my daughter is 7. I stayed home with my son till he was about 2. Then started working until i was about 9 months preagnant with my daughter. I went back to work 2 weeks after having her and have worked ever since. I have been lucky to have family that has been able to watch them for me. I would never be able to afford day care.

Cierra - posted on 02/11/2009

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I completely understand how you feel. I share it with you. I'm a stay at home mom, my daughter is almost 10months now. I tried working for awhile but since we didn't want to put her in daycare I had to work nights. My boyfriend worked long hours during the day so we barely saw each other. The stress from being away from my daughter and never seeing my boyfriend was just too much. Since we live pretty okay off his pay, we just decided I should stay home. It just doesn't seem worth the money to work and send her to daycare. Hopefully we can figure things out soon.



The idea of working is actually something I'd like to do because it would give my time out with other adults, but the stress of leaving my daughter is just too overwhelming right now.

Chrissy - posted on 02/11/2009

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I have worked pretty much full time since my eldest, Emily age 8, was 18 months old. I was tearing my hair out at home alone. After Melissa, age 4, was born I went part time but only for about a year. As much as I love my kids I needed to get out of the house and interact with adults. It isnt cheap for child care but in all fairness my tax credits more than cover my child care costs. I pay a bit extra each week for each girl to cover the extra costs when they are on school holidays. Being in nursery gave them a good start at school with interaction skills and academic too.

Donika - posted on 02/11/2009

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I'm a stay at home mom of three, and it is a position that I have chosen permanetly. It means that we don't do sushi every Friday, and I don't get my eyebrows waxed and I update my wardrobe rarely. This leaves money for health food, the only luxery we enjoy. With the cost of childcare is it ever really worth it? I'm sure we all have a list of things that we could live without :)

(no judgement for those who choose to work, just what works for our family)

Niki - posted on 02/11/2009

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I'm 6 1/2 months pregnant and a stay at home mom of a 16 month old boy. I didn't return to work after my mat leave ended moslty because I became pregnant. Daycare is so expensive and we just feel that being on a strict budget makes more sense than leaving our son with other people just for a little extra spending money.  Times are tight but that's why I have taken in a few part time daycare kids throughout the week. A few days a week for a few hours here and there. This way I get to stay home, my son gets used to sharing mommy (which will hopefully help when new baby comes), and it also gives me a little extra spending money.  Not only is being home with my kids important to me, but being home and spending time with my husband is equally important. I could very easily go back to work and work opposite shifts in order to avoid daycare but then we never see each other either.... Makes more sense for us if I stay home =)

Michelle - posted on 02/10/2009

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Hello, my daughter is 15mths old.  I am a stay at home mom, but I have contemplated getting a job.  My husband does not want me too, so I have volunteered to help at a local church.  I dont' think I could get a job and be away from my daughter.

Lisa - posted on 02/10/2009

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Well Im not at work at the moment because my daughter was still born in August but I took mat leave to be with my son who is 2. I only work 16 hours. My boyfriend doesnt start work till 2pm and has wednesdays off so I work one morning a week and work on wednesdays

Kate - posted on 02/10/2009

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I have four children ages 1-6 and am pregnant with #5. I stay at home b/c it would be ridiculous to pay for that kind of childcare. Plus my kids are involved in many things and I would have a hard time missing that. Maybe once they're all in school I will be able to work. Not too mention the amount of housework I would fall behind on if I did work!



 

Fiona - posted on 02/10/2009

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With my first child Nathan I stayed off worked till he was 4. Thankfully our money situation allowed this to happen. It was fab to have all that time with him. Unfortunatley with my daughter who is now 15 months I had to go back to before her 1st birthday. This was purely about money, we had planned for me to stay off until she was around the same age as Nathan when I went back, but in the current climate it wasn't meant to be. I would love to permently off work to be with my children and just taking care of the family. You are very lucky having so much time with them!!

Sarah - posted on 02/10/2009

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The day i found out that i was pregnant my husband told me to put in my notice at work....he didn't like me working anyway. So i've been a stay at home mom since my I was 9 weeks pregnant. I love it...but i'm lucky because i travel with my husband with his job. And when he has time off we always try to get out like to the library's baby class. I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a stay at home mom. I feel like i am forming who my child will be and that there isn't any negative influences on her.

Tracy - posted on 02/10/2009

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i us to belive in day care until mom daughter went threw so much crap at daycare that i decided the best plays for my babys was with the nana and i am a really good mom i get them up every morning and give them bath,feed them,brush there teeth and get them on the bus and alot of parents have to work to make a leaveing anymore. so i think if you have to work you have to work and that does not make you a bad person. my kids love me and daddy so much and they are so sweet hearted to .

Lina - posted on 02/10/2009

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I'm a mom aged 20 with a 6 mnth old baby son Lucas, I study through the internett and work almost every Saturday. But I'm still at home 6 days a week.

User - posted on 02/10/2009

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i have 2 daughters 1 is 6 the other is 2 i work every saturday for a few hours i enjoy getting out my hubby has the girls while i work ive worked in this place since my youngest was 14 months old and i still enjoy it,xx

Megan - posted on 02/10/2009

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I stopped working during my 8th month into my pregnancy, it was too hard. And I haven't gone back since. My little girl, Maddison, is 4 months now, and I love every minute of being home with her. Since times are so tough now, I am getting a part time job this summer. Other than that, I have no plans to go back to a full time job just yet. I do not want to miss anything!

Teresa - posted on 02/10/2009

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I have two daughters Alexus will be 5 in April and Jada will be 2 in April. I was a stay at home mom after Jada was born. I stayed home for 15 months. After that I started looking for a job. I felt like I was contributing nothing to the house and I needed a little get away every once in a while. I took a job at Wal-Mart about 5 months ago working in the clothing (not the greatest job!!!). After three months there they moved me to the pharmacy to start training to be a pharmacy technician! I love my children but I have to work!

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