How often do you have sex?

Merry - posted on 10/21/2010 ( 120 moms have responded )

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How many times are you having sex?
If you can add your relationship status, married, monogamous, open etc
And how many kids and ages if you think that affects your sex life
Maybe if you are full time mom or working mom if that's a big contributor.
I hope I find that I'm normal!

Oh and when you do have sex is it because YOU want it or because your partner wants it and you love him?

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Kayla - posted on 10/22/2010

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i am a 25 year old sahm with 3 kids (6, 19mos, and 3mos)...we onyl have sex about tgwice a week....and thats only cuz he initiates it...i feel sex is so overrated which i have been told is strange coming from someone my age....my husband on the other hand needs it all the time and if i dont give it to him than ill hear about it til i give in...ugh!! its frustrating sometimes but we manage:)

Lady Heather - posted on 10/22/2010

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All the time. We are trying to for another baby. We're married, with one 16 month old. I like to stick to an every two day routine for the conceiving. The husband complains.

When I was pregnant though, there was ZERO action. I felt bad, but I also just didn't want to do anything. It was uncomfortable and I was way too tired. Hopefully it will be better next time.

[deleted account]

We have sex every other day usually but sometimes days in a row and occassionally not for 2-3 days. Usually that happens when he works til midnight and I am already asleep.

I am married 2.5 years, Im 27 he's 39, we have 6 kids. his 3 adopted teens, my 2 (7 and 5) from before him, and our 2 year old.

I love having sex with him. It's more than just an orgasm...it keeps me from getting cranky and reduces our stress levels. It makes me feel bonded to him. We like taking a hot bath and just chit chatting too. That makes us feel closer. He is awesome.

Also, I stay at home and watch kids afterschool. He works 60-80hours a week.

We have sex all times of the day too. Sometimes morning, I love afternoon quickies, but mostly at night ;)

But you are normal no matter how much sex you have because everyone is different so there is no need to try and do whatever anyone else is doing. Do what is best for you and your relationship!

Kendra - posted on 10/26/2010

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I'm 23 and married. We have a 10 month old. Before and during my pregnancy we would have sex all of the time. Almost every day. I had a really bad recovery after having my daughter and we werern't able to have sex for 4 months after delivery. Since then things haven't been the same. We maybe have sex 1 or 2 times a weeks sometimes it maybe weeks. We both work fulltime graveyard shift. He works 12 hour shift and I work 10 hour shifts. On my days off we are trying to catch up with the house work that didn't get done on the days we were working. It hard sometimes. But it's not that we don't want to have sex, Its that alot of the time we just DON'T have time for it...

EMMA - posted on 10/26/2010

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to be perfectly honest not that often but it doesn't bother i say theres more to life than sex and im 26

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Sarah - posted on 10/26/2010

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i'm 20 and have 2 kids i am separated from my husband so the only sex i get is with a friend at the weekends when my ex has my youngest as my oldest doesn't live with me. friends with benefits is the best sex ever cos there is no emotions involved. obviously if i met someone i really liked and started a relationship i would stop having sex with my friend. who is male btw not that it matters like.

Bonnie - posted on 10/26/2010

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Liz, I am so sorry your husband says those things to you. It's not right by any means. If I were you I wouldn't have sex with him on purpose. How are you suppose to have a good self esteem and want to have sex when he talks like that to you? There is a lot more to a relationship than sex anyways.

Kristi - posted on 10/26/2010

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We have a 3 year old and a 1 year old, I am a stay at home mom going to school online. We have always had a very healthy sex life, there are times when it is hard because my kids like to follow me everytime we walk out of the room, even going to the bathroom, lol. We take advantage of nap time so sometimes we go once a day almost everyday sometimes less, it just depends on what is going on.

Sonya - posted on 10/26/2010

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I'm married (a little over a year) and have a daughter who's almost 2 and two stepsons, ages 11 and 14. It is not unusual for us to go 1- 1/2 weeks without having sex because we are both so busy and tired by the time we're able to. We've been trying to at least once or twice a week but my drive went down a lot in the last 6 months or so. When I do want to have sex he's either at work or too tired and vice versa. So yes, I feel the same way you do! I think as long as you're both on the same page it shouldn't be too bad. And as long as neither of you is getting ignored sexually I think it's only normal for a lot of people's sex lives to lessen, especially with work and kids.

EMMA - posted on 10/26/2010

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it's not the sex drive cos mines high and so is my husbands its complicated something id rather not say

Kristen - posted on 10/26/2010

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i can relate to that! my fiance and i have been together for 3 years now, and before i got pregnant, i was skinnier and more attractive-at least to myself.. now i have stretch marks, a huge scar from a c-section, and flab and i don't feel at all attractive.

Lauren - posted on 10/26/2010

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I'm married, stay at home mom, we have a 14month old and I'm 22. We have sex about 2-days a week. sometimes more it just depends on how the week is going. And I'm the one that lets him know.

Kristen - posted on 10/26/2010

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has anyone else found that their sex drive is practically non existant after having a baby? my son is almost 10 months old, and i have no sex drive. and im only 22!

Natasha - posted on 10/26/2010

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I am married I have 3 kids 23 (will be 2 soon) 6, and 9. Lately we have been having sex at least 3-4 times a week. We both work full time

Shada - posted on 10/26/2010

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I am a stay at home mom and have a 16 month old. My bf works a full time job running his own company. Me and my bf have sex everyday. It is usually when my son goes to bed and he is sleeping by then. I have sex with him both because I want to and because I love him. He says it relieves his stress

Myetta - posted on 10/26/2010

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I'm in a monog. relationship, and have 4 kids, 7,5, 2 1/2, and 6 months, we do it like 5-6 nights a week, and it's him that wnat sit and because I love him, I just do it, since he has needs.

Merry - posted on 10/26/2010

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Jennifer, I think that you could be right about if it's not good then something is wrong about sex. Unfortunately neither me or my husband know what's good sex as, fortunately, we were virgins when we married. Yes it's good we are only for each other but it makes it hard to know if we are doing sex right! Lol! I wouldn't change it ever, but it's frustrating to not know if one of us is 'bad' at sex or something. I don't know what would make it better for me but we make do!

Colleen - posted on 10/26/2010

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Laura I am glad I am not alone in this one, I thought I was not normal, My Dr. mentioned to me it could be because my estragin levels are down because of my tubal ligation, going back to see him on Nov. 22 to have tests done to see what it is.

[deleted account]

I would just like to say that this is a very good post! Thank you for thinking of it I know I wouldn't have myself :)

I am a mom of 3 girls ages 11, 8 and 5 and I am adopting a a baby in April... Been married 6 years jeesh close to 7 now O.o time does fly! Me and my love have sex at least once a day, we both work.. My hubby is military so when he has to be gone that is basically are brake time ):

How me and my husband work we each have a code word why? well my oldest who is in 5th grade at this time gong to junior high next year, likes to be noisy... So as a way to get around her and the other 2 as-long as one of us say the code word we know to stay up acting like we are cleaning or playing a game.. then the girls fall asleep and we have are fun time lol now we switch however me or him say the code word each day it is rather fun :) We also sedn it in text while we are at work or emails so I never know how I may receive the word.. This is something we grew into over the passed few years and has worked great!

Helena - posted on 10/26/2010

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we are engaged we have a 10 month old and i'm 21 weeks pregnant we had sex 4-5 times a week prior to falling pregnant i think he enjoyed me being back to my usual self and so did i, now in the second trimester its more like 2 - 3 weekly although its not sexy sex while your pregnant its still special.

Nicole - posted on 10/26/2010

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i am 21 and i have a one year old my fiancee and me have sex about 2-3 times a week depending on our son and welll when he lets us have time to ourselves i'd say that it is mainly for him but sometimes for me i prefer to just spend time together and revel in eachothers company more t han anything which may be odd for someone my age but once you have a baby to think about everything changes so we are adjusting to what he needs

Heidi - posted on 10/25/2010

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Weight has a lot to do with my sex life, for me atleast. Since my husband and I got together (2006) between going off Depo, having two kids, and being a SAHM and not taking care of me I have gained weight and I'm not attractive to me anymore so sometimes I don't see how he can be. Which he says that he's attracted to me still but its hard to want to get it on if you don't feel sexy and you just see stretch marks and pudge. And sex isn't the same because I don't have the energy I used to have. We used to have sex a couple times a day and it has just dwindle less and less over the last 4 years, with a few spurts where my libido kicks in high gear.

Liz - posted on 10/25/2010

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I am a SAHM with a 5 1/2 month old. We have been married for a year. My husband is an electrical engineer. He works 7-4 M-F. We have sex once every two weeks. He wants to every day.

I do not ever want to have sex. When I was pregnant, I wanted to and he didn't (afraid of hurting the baby and weirded out by the belly) When I delivered our daughter, I tore really bad and my scar is still painful when we do try to have sex. It takes a lot of coaxing and I do not get any enjoyment out of it. I talked to the doctor about it but she said that I just need to use some KY and that would make it better. Well, it only makes it bearable. I feel bad and I know it is hurting our relationship but I get really defensive when he wants to because I am sore for a few days afterward and nothing about that sounds fun. My daughter still wakes up 3 times a night to nurse so I am also just too darn tired.

any suggestions??





I read through some of the recent posts about orgasms and communication. Before I had my daughter, I could have multiple orgasms from sex. I have not had a single one since her birth. I also used to LOVE receiving oral but it totally creeps me out now. I don't know if it was from the trauma of the pain of tearing so bad and it taking 2 months for it to finally heal (it is still tender to the touch) but I just do not want any contact down there.

Also my husband has made many comments about my post baby body. He does not say anything in bed but it is in passing during the day. I take it to heart and think about it when he tries to initiate something. I just can not get past it when he says I need to up my exercise regiment or "should you be eating that?" I have told him that if I don't feel like my body is ok for him I am not going to want to have sex. He said, "well it is not ok for me but you can work on that..." Sad thing is, I am below pre-pregnancy weight by 10 lbs...

Jennifer - posted on 10/25/2010

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bonnie, you bring up a good point...i wonder how many of the women who are having libido troubles are unable to orgasm with intercourse? i'm one of the few women that is able to have multiples but i definitely do have my off days and while sex is still enjoyable, it is less interesting when i can't climax for whatever reason.



i have always had the belief that if you don't enjoy sex, then you aren't doing it right (i am not trying to offend anyone, i promise). the most important thing is to become familiar with your own body...don't be afraid to explore and discover what you like (because your partner can't know what you like unless you know what you like). the next step is to be OPEN with your partner about what you like because he is NOT a mind-reader! guys tend to be dense (hahah) and a lot of times they need very specific instructions :P

Bonnie - posted on 10/25/2010

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Hey Laura, nothing wrong with liking the hand jobs. I have heard that there are not many women who orgasm with intercourse. Many need oral or manual stimulation to orgasm!

Jade - posted on 10/25/2010

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I'm engaged to my boyfriend of almost five years now. We have a daughter who is 15 months old. My fiance works full-time and I'm a college student & as stay at home mom. We have sex anywhere between 1-4 times per week. We have sex because we want it. We never have sex just to have it. I'm pretty sure that you are normal..

Alexandra - posted on 10/25/2010

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hey, you guys are having a lot of Sex. All I'm reading is a couple times a week!!! I want that too! I have 3kids (8yrs/20mon/7mon) and my husband wants it once in 14days (i could everyday) ;)

A - posted on 10/25/2010

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married. on average 3 times a month. i'm the one that wants it more and my husband just fulfills his husbandly duties..lol but we have a big age gap. I'm 24 and he's 36.

We have one child and it does play a factor---we have to take advantage of nap time :) I'm a SAHM, he works two jobs. I don't really think that makes a difference though.

We would have sex more often (initiated by me of course) but I don't want to get pregnant and b/c of our religion we can only use natural family planning. And even though i now ecologically breastfeed, my menses have returned ever since my son was 8 months old.

I don't think there is a "normal". Every couple is different. There is no right or wrong unless someone is unhappy...

Elizabeth - posted on 10/25/2010

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i've been with my husband for 3 years and we have an 11 mo old...ever since i had our son my libido has completely dropped...it's been 3 mo since we last had sex. i always feel terrible about it and feel that if i force myself to it will just drag him down and he won't enjoy it.

Merry - posted on 10/25/2010

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my hubby wishes i was on board with the giving of oral sex. o well he just gets it as a treat every now and then and its our agreement that while im on my 6 weeks post pardum of no sex he gets oral! i dont like receiving oral, idk gives me the creeps somehow, but its good that every woman knows what she likes and how, and then tells her man exactly how to do it!

Jennifer - posted on 10/25/2010

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go laura! WOO hahah



i'm not all that into hand jobs but my hubby and i do have a phenomenal oral sex life. i admit that my husband is on the receiving end more often than i am (several times a week hahah), but i'm honestly okay with that. we are both really, really good at the oral pleasures (yup, i said it! :P) but when i am on the receiving end, it makes me really want actual sex afterward and we RARELY have time for all that lol.

Winnie Takyiwah - posted on 10/25/2010

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Wow! I am beginning to think am the weird on here. I am married and work 20 hours a week and I have a 6 month old. The story of my life is, we have sex about once a week. Sometimes more and at other times non. But averagely its once a week. We have an agreement that, whoever is horny initiates it. I usually initiate it at nights and he does it in the day. I think we are both satisfied with our schedule

Katie - posted on 10/25/2010

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Well I am recently re married to a Wonderful man. I have two kids from my first marriage ages 7 and 4 1/2 and I have a step son ( who does not live with us who is two.) My husband is in the Army and I also work. We have sex every day sometimes more - unless he is out in the field for training or its that lovely week of the month for me. And as far as who starts it - its kind of both of us sometimes he does and other times I do. Yes there are times im tired or he is - but we still manage to and it almost seems like once we get started the tired goes away and then we sleep so much better that night.

Zara - posted on 10/25/2010

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hahaha laura.. yess! i agree am not about sex at all.. does nothing for me most times.. its only because he wants to and i love him.. all about the hjs.. !! ♥

Merry - posted on 10/25/2010

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*adult content*



i just have to add an update for all you lovely ladies! this morning was one of my rare mornings where my son Eric slept til 7 (yay!) and i woke from a sex dream (yay yay!) and we had a grand old time! I have to say though, idk if this is common, but if i want sex its more that i want a hand job, to which i orgasm like 5 times, then we have real sex for him......lol, i dont really like 'sex' that much but those hj are awesome if im well rested and in the mood.

as i said rare, but amazing when it happens!

anyone else all about getting a hand job?

Bobbie - posted on 10/25/2010

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Wow, I was hoping to find at least a couple of people like me. We're lucky to have sex once a month. I am a stay-at-home mom, but I feel like a single parent very often because my husband works 4pm to 4am. Our daughter is 18 months old and I'm 26 weeks pregnant. Besides being tired, my mind is in constant "to do" mode and sex just never finds its way on the list. Also, with both pregnancies, I really just don't feel like being touched. So, obviously, when we do have sex, it's because he wants to and I love him. I guess I'm lucky he loves me enough to put up with the lack thereof!

Megan - posted on 10/25/2010

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Im married. Stay at home mom. My daughter is 3 months old. It really just depends on the mood if were tired or she is fussy. We don't have sex that often we are usually to busy . Its prob once a week. But I can say when I was preg I didnt want to have sex. I never felt like it. My doctor told me it was normal!!

Zara - posted on 10/25/2010

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dont get me wrong, my partner is the one mostly initiating it, but i never say no.. lol.. its normally two, three times a week. we have an almost 9 month old daughter and he now drives trucks.. so whenever we are both not tired, i guess :)

Grainne - posted on 10/25/2010

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I had my baby in May i was very sexual before the pregnancy but i havent got it back im usually too tired and my partner wants it everyday i dont know how he finds the energy? We still have sex just not as much as he would like to! we are both not working but looking after him and getting used to not having the same sleep pattern is very tiring and I find it hard to get myself in the mood were as before we would have no problems in that department!

Tracy - posted on 10/25/2010

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im a stay at home mum with a 2 year old and a 4 month old my partner works all day 5 days a week so i would say we have sex 1 - 2 times a week due to both bein tired all the time, he initiates it most of the time, i wont ever say no as i enjoy it, but on the odd occasion that we get out without the children it is me that initiates it, x

Heidi - posted on 10/25/2010

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I am a SAHM married mom with a 2 year old and a 8 month old. My husband and I maybe have sex once a week if not less(sometimes its once every other week.) He would love to get it more often but after getting the IUD sex is painful and my sex drive went down the toilet. And when I am in the mood he's not home(he works 60+ hours a week) or he hurts and its not enjoyable. He for the most part will initiate and I usually will cave because he get cranky and whines.

Soky - posted on 10/25/2010

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Practically married, stay at home mom to our 2 yr old daughter. We have sex like almost everyday. Or every other day. It keeps our romance alive. We use to have sex like 4 or 5 times a day before I had my daughter. So as you can tell.. we hump like bunnies! LOL

Merry - posted on 10/25/2010

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Sherry, my husband was so worried with my first pregnancy that baby could be hurt, or poked, or whatever ,but I guess I convinced him too well cuz now with my second pregnancy I wish he wouldn't get so rough during sex! Now it's me worrying about the baby. Lol I guess maybe one of us has to be worrying at any given time.

[deleted account]

I am full time Mom and I have been married 2 years. We have a 1 year old daughter and I am due this summer with Baby 2....We have sex like Once a week if that. Before baby it was like once or twice a week but now that I am pregnant, My husband slows down because he thinks he can hurt our baby or that the baby can "see" what going on.

Sara - posted on 10/25/2010

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I am a 27 year old married with 5 kids and one on the way.Ages 10 years,7 years,6 years,4years,and 16 months and then we are due with our 6th in 8 wks.I say we have sex 2-4 times a month.I dont feel into but I will cave every once in awhile for him.I have lost all intrest in sex I am a stay at home mom and after a day with the kids for 9-10 hours I am just not into it.Before we had kids it was every day at least 3-4 times a day and I think he misses thta but I dont lol.

Mistie - posted on 10/25/2010

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I am getting married on Sunday and I have an 8 yr old son. Lately, since we are getting closer to our wedding date, he has gotten more touchy feely and wants it more. On average we have sex 5 times a week. It sucks that I work and go to school so I'm completely worn out at night. If only I could get him to wake in the morning...only dreams tho.

Shandi - posted on 10/25/2010

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I am engaged and a stay at home mom.My hubby is a pipe layer and connects water mains so he works long hours. I would say we have sex at least once a day sometimes more i guess that sounds like a lot lol and we both want it

Emily Jane - posted on 10/25/2010

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Im Married have been for nearly a year..
3 year old son..
expecting aswell
but on average about 3-4 times a week...sometimes only once..and when we do its both of us wanting it usually but lately being pregnant theres been a decrease

Andrea - posted on 10/25/2010

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I'm engaged and have been for 6 years now. But it's at least 5 times a week

Tabitha - posted on 10/24/2010

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I am a full-time mom of a 2 and 3yrs old and i've been in a monogamous (as far as i know lol) relationship for 8yrs. And I think its maybe 2-4 times a month, and either reason for having it is fine with me :)

Jacinta - posted on 10/24/2010

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I live with my partner and we have 2 girls 2yrs and 11 months. My partner works full time and i am a stay at home mum.. We have sex once or twice a week... rarely more. He wants it... I can take it or leave it... Not because i dont love him... I just dont need it all the time.. although i always try and make the effort to please him a few times a week :)

Sharon - posted on 10/24/2010

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I'm married, stayed home mum with a 8 month old baby girl. And I'm also six month pregnant right now. My husband and I use to have two to three times sex a week. However Im right now pregnant sex life have drop to once a week...

Merry - posted on 10/24/2010

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Well Stephanie, we can both hope it's just the baby thing! Maybe we will get it back once we aren't spending so much time with a little one! I can only hope, but be reassured that you aren't the only one :)

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