How often does your significant other help?

Lindsey - posted on 01/31/2010 ( 124 moms have responded )

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I was just wondering how often your husbands/significant others help you with the baby or with other household chores?

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Jennifer - posted on 02/01/2010

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So I saw your question and I had to awnser, my fiance and I talked early on that we wanted kids and 5 years later we treid. when I got pregnant I saw a lot of my freinds down all the time because the father wouldn't help or wouldn't just know what to do like they did. So I sat my fiance down and said I would really like this and this and I need help and read him books and involved him, and now he is the most amazing helper, he does dishes and changes almost alll the really bad diapers and talks with me about how we want to raise our son, he does almost everything and now that we are having another kid, it makes it so less stressful to know I have a partner in this. I think he would have been a great father regardless but it helps that I let him know what I need from him and explain stuff to him! it helps him and me, I mean he is only human, even if I think he's my super man ;))

Julie - posted on 02/01/2010

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My husband is really good with our 9 month old son. He gets frustrated if he doesn't get his "daddy" time during the week. He really enjoys feeding him and giving him baths. He doesn't get up at night for two reasons, he works during the day and he doesn't hear our little guy. My husband can sleep through pretty much anything.
We share the housework. I do just about all of the cooking but he will help out if need be.

Angela - posted on 01/31/2010

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My fiance works shift work so he's grumpy and tired most of the time and just wants to relax! I always feed the baby his bottles and food and he sometimes changes his diaper only if I ask him! I do all the housework around here and I have to tell my fiance to pick up after himself most days LOL! I think most men are like this!!

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Mariela - posted on 02/02/2010

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My husband is really good about helping with the baby. Our son is 11 months old, & when he wakes up in the middle of the night (he's been sick lately so we're back to waking up once a night usually about 5a) my husband grabs him & changes his diaper while I get his bottle. Then he feeds him so I can go back to bed even though he works 10 hr days. I try to do most of the cleaning but once he gets home from work, I go to work & he stays home with the baby & cooks & cleans & does laundry. He pretty much does what I didn't do LOL But sometimes we both get lazy & just wait until the weekend to do the major cleaning/laundry. I've been blessed to have him be so helpful, because some men just won't pick up a finger to do anything!

Jessica - posted on 02/02/2010

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well i wish it was alot more then he does i have 9 month old twins and really im up all day all night with them even on weekends during the wek i understande he has to work but the weekends it would be so nice to sleep in i havent had a good nights sleep in a yr

Jillian - posted on 02/02/2010

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lol like nEVERRRR i am a single mom and asked for help way too long and just did it on my own !!

Janinne - posted on 02/02/2010

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I think this is great to see more men doing housework and caring for the children!! My husband was terrible about keeping things picked up before we had children. He went to school full time and i worked and went to school both full time. I did all the bill paying and cleaning. After my first son was born, we left and when he moved back in with us things were a bit different. He was required to work or do housework/watch our son. Then I got pregnant again and the same rules applied. In the beginning of having a new child, each time I breastfed so there was little he could do there but he did pick up quite a bit around the house.Now we have a total of 4 children (combined) and he is amazing. We both work full time. I work when he is home so we dont pay for childcare and when he works i cook and when i work he cooks. The kids love us both pretty equally as we do different things with them. We have two in diapers so he usually takes the older one and I change the baby. We both do whatever needs done when we are home and we still go out with friends and are able to enjoy our youth. My parents and sisters, and friends are great about offering to take the kids if we ever need them to. We are blessed but for all those moms that don't have this going on, set rules/guidelines and put your foot down. Just don't be over dramatic as us women tend to do, OR give him more than half the responsibility...be fair and good luck!! :D

Chelsey - posted on 02/02/2010

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My husband is wonderful he helps out alot. I do most of the kid stuff like baths and feeding but he helps clean up and keeps them outta my hair when I need some time alone. I am very greatfull for everything he does.

Heather - posted on 02/02/2010

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umm, not much at all really, My DF goes to work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. He does a bit of housework, ie, stack the dishwasher or put on some washing every now and again, but as far as with the baby is concerned , not much. He plays with him a little bit each night, changes his nappy sometimes - when I ask him to, gives him a bath - when I ask him to, dresses him - when I ask him to (are you seeing a pattern here?) It annoys me no end, because I want him to want to do things for our son not just because I ask him to do them. For this reason I dont often ask him to do things, I'm hoping one day he'll decide he wants to do these things rather than have to be asked. Not holding my breath though.

Dont get me wrong I'm grateful for what he does do I just wish that he'd spend more time with our son. and I know he goes to work, but is it really that taxing to change a nappy or give him a cuddle? I don't think so.

Rochelle - posted on 02/02/2010

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my honey is very helpful! i honestly couldnt accept anything less! we both work full time and his mom watches our baby during the day. so when it comes to us being home to take care of the baby its equal responsibility. in the beginning when i was nursing at night i was the one who got up all night long but he was still very helpful with chores, meals and baby stuff during the day! just because im the mom doesnt mean i should have all the responsibility put on me and he understands that! even if i wasnt working full time it can be exhausting taking care of a new baby and even a little help can make a world of difference!

Melissa - posted on 02/02/2010

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The fact that I'm currently temporarily unemployed I take care of almost everything. I pretty much always have even when I work 40+ hours a week.

I would be fine with this if he could manage to have a budget and pay the bills. However I've found that I have squandered away most of my savings this past month while helping out financially. He never buys formula, diapers, or clothes for our son.

Laurie - posted on 02/02/2010

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My SO will put the baby in his crib and any lifting that needs done as I can no longer do it, he'll change the older two's diapers if I ask, most of the time he takes out the garbage and occasionally he cooks some great meals! Other than that I really dont ask for much because I"m a SAHM and he works between 20-35 (usually closer to 32ish) hours a week and is a full time college student

Brandi - posted on 02/02/2010

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Not as often as I might like, but he's pretty good. Weekends he usually does some of the cooking, dishes, and cleaning. Thru the week, it's all me (mostly) he helps with the kids' baths and getting them to bed all week long (he likes to spend that time with them). He works 40 hours a week so I don't expect much thru the week and mostly if he is spending time and being affectionate with the kids, I'm happy. On the weekends, I ask a little more of him (for obvious reasons). But my husband is an AMAZING father and wonderful husband. He loves us all very much and works hard to make sure we are provided for. He understands that some days I'm burned out (from lack of interaction with the outside world lol) and on weekends,he usually ushers me out while he stays with the kids so I can have some time off. My job is 24/7 365 days a year. No time off and he knows it. So he is pretty understanding and really good about helping more than most husbands. Still i would like him to do just a bit more.

Alija - posted on 02/02/2010

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my husband is wonderful. he changes diapers, feeds the baby, plays with him, and watches him while i nap. during the week the household chores usually fall on me because i stay at home while he works, but usually on a saturday morning he will clean up the house for me.

Alija - posted on 02/02/2010

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my husband is wonderful. he changes diapers, feeds the baby, plays with him, and watches him while i nap. during the week the household chores usually fall on me because i stay at home while he works, but usually on a saturday morning he will clean up the house for me.

Alija - posted on 02/02/2010

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my husband is wonderful. he changes diapers, feeds the baby, plays with him, and watches him while i nap. during the week the household chores usually fall on me because i stay at home while he works, but usually on a saturday morning he will clean up the house for me.

Erin - posted on 02/02/2010

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i just had a baby three months ago ..me and my boyfriend lived a hour away so really i did most of the stuff when i took the baby to his house he would help a litttle but really i did lots on my own... you really have to make sure that your significant other is mature enough to understand you need help!! :(

Melanie - posted on 02/02/2010

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My husband cooks most nights. I do everything else. Twice a month he keeps the baby when I go out with the ladies for 1-2 hours.

Tasha - posted on 02/02/2010

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My boyfriend does a lot... He recently got laid-off from his job but even before that he did laundry, dishes, garbage, etc... And any time I want to go out without the kids he doesn't get mad... I'm pretty lucky:)

[deleted account]

My husband works out of town and is gone for two weeks at a time. So when he is home he gets up with our daughter at nights. He also cooks and cleans when he is home too.

Jenelle - posted on 02/02/2010

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That's a big battle in my house. He does dishes every other night, otherwise it's all me. He pretty much goes fishing or hunting most of the day.

Angela - posted on 02/02/2010

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Our oldest son is 6 and we have a 2nd on the way. My husband has always split all of the baby chores straight down the middle. He changed as many diapers as I did and even bottle fed him every other night. He took him to daycare every morning, etc. But he was not that great on handling household chores until about 2 years ago (I guess he just got older??? Not sure.) He now does about 1/3 of household chores except for in the summers. I am a teacher, so I am off and he gets lazy!!!;)

Oh- we split cooking duties too!!! Loving that part!!!!!!!!!!!:) :)

Kelsey - posted on 02/02/2010

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my boyfriend works 10 hours a day but when he comes home he is soo excited so see our 4th month old and play with him. he also helps me out around the house with whatever i need. he will cook, do dishes, laundry,etc. i am very blessed to have a man that is soo willing to help!

Cleo - posted on 02/02/2010

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When it comes to house chores being that I'm preggers my husband cleans the litter box and he already claimed taking out the trash and when it comes to our two year old he's hands on just as much as I am except for the poopy pants lol. I mean there are times to when I make him clean them every once in a while because he's her other parent and he has to practice for his lil princess number two which should be arriving any day now. I can't complain at all.

Amanda - posted on 02/02/2010

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wow..... my husband works all night help me with the kids in the morning and then puts are oldest on the buss then we eat then about 9 he goes off to bed and me and the two boys r up i do the house work and cooking then he gets up at 3 and we play watch tv and then he helps me putting the kids to bed but if i have had a bed day he well tell me to go up and relaxes adn i well care for the kids if i need to sleep in cause i hae been up most of the nigh the well tell me to stay in bed and get some sleep! he is great !!!

Jenifer - posted on 02/02/2010

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Never, my husband works about 40 hours a week outside the home. I have an in home daycare I usually have 3-6 kids here, sometimes more atleast 24 out of every 28 days, I work 12 days, then usually have 2 days off. I work 60+ hours a week and also have a son in kindergarten. I have to take him to and from the end of the street for the bus or to the school 4 days a week. I pay all the bills, buy all the food and cook it, do all the laundry and cleaning, fix our apliances when needed, and take out the trash, which he is supposed to do and never does, I take back our recycling and plan all the trips and pack everything to go see his family. I am lucky if he helps with our son 5 minutes a week and he usually doesn't even clean up after himself.

Lena - posted on 02/02/2010

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My husband helps me ALL the time. He even gets up at night and rocks our daughter back to sleep. He participates in every single thing. He will let me sleep in on weekends. I am so blessed to have my husband. I cant even imagine how it would be without his help. He helps without even me asking him. :)

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This has changed as our family has changed. At one time, he was a stay-at-home dad and I worked and so of course he did the majority of the household tasks, but now he's working and I'm at home so I do the household tasks. To keep things fair when we both worked, we sat down together and listed all the household tasks that needed to be done on a weekly basis and then the approximate time we felt it took to complete those tasks, and then we split it up fairly. I feel this has really cut down on arguments as well as feelings of resentment toward one another. At one time, I worked 30 hours a week, and he worked 20, so he needed to put in 10 hours of housework to catch up to 30 hours, and then we split up the remaining. We also split up childcare tasks. Right now, as I am the at-home parent, I obviously do more in that department, but we feel it is very important for the children to have two active-involved parents (and not one parent that does all the nitty-gritty work, and the other parent that just gets to play with them and have fun). So, even though I stay home, my husband bathes the children, and he usually gets our three-year-old ready for bed and reads her bedtime story.

Ashley - posted on 02/02/2010

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My husband and I are both police officers. I work day shift and he works graveyard. He gets home at 4 am, and I leave for work, and he wakes up with our daughter at 8am. He's up with her all day (sometimes taking a nap when she does) but for the most part he gets very little sleep and he's beat. I don't expect him to do anything but watch our daughter, but he still does. Sometimes he'll clean the kitchen, pick up the house, etc... AND he's in the middle of remodeling our basement... She's almost 2 now and a busy, busy, handful... but so far so good... there was only on instance where she drew all over my office with a black sharpie! :-) He's always been more helpful than I expect of him- being as tired as he must be... so I try to do all the chores after I get off work and take care of our daughter whenever I'm home so he can rest. I DO draw the line at cleaning up after his teenage and pre-teen age kids, though! I'm not a slave! P.S. My daughter and him are best friends.... so all the time she gets to spend with her daddy has been a blessing...

Michelle - posted on 02/02/2010

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My fiance helps me out all the time.... now lol... When the baby was younger he was a little more... frustrating, but we've both grown up a little along the way and now he helps every day. Every day he takes care of Caedyn so I can get a nap or whatever, and he usually picks up and maybe runs the dishwasher or something for me. It's great :-D I ♥ him oodles

Christina - posted on 02/02/2010

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sophie that is the same i actually sleep on the couch with are baby because he yells at me when the baby crys at night because it is interfering with his sleep, is any other moms husbands like this? or is it just mine thats an ass lol

Katie - posted on 02/02/2010

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My hubby helps me out when he can, which is pretty much everyday. He is very active in our son's life! Although you DO have to ask them to help the majority of the time, I'm not sure they get how to volunteer! Remember the movie 'The Break-Up", her,"I want you to want to help me with the dishes", him, "why would I WANT to do the dishes!" Aaah, classic! They just need some motivation......soooo, why not give it to them! lol!

Courtney - posted on 02/02/2010

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My husband and I have been together 5 years and to this day he doesn't do household chores. When we first dated he would take care of certain things that he now neglects such as the trash. He usually doesn't help with the kids even though we have 4. I am a full time student in college and a mother. I often feel as though I am a single parent the only thing my husband takes care of are the bills which is neccessary but it would be nice if he would help out with the kids and household. It is a pretty hard job for one person to take care of on their own. I have tried asking him for help and he mentions that he works full time. Some men feel that is all they need to do. I believe that since I have been the only one taking care of my kids for so long that he knows I can handle it and he feels as though he doesn't need to help. I hope this helps

Amanda - posted on 02/02/2010

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My husband helps all the time. He's in the army so he's away for training right now, and he knows it's hard on me so when he's home we take turns with diapers, he cooks better than I do so he usually makes dinner and I do most of the laundry but he helps fold it and put it away. When he gets home, he takes like an hour or so to unwind with a snack and changes clothes or w/e then he takes the baby and I shower or escape to the neighbor's for 20 minutes or something just so i don't explode. Then we go about our evening together. He LOVES helping me do stuff and feeling needed and I definitely appreciate it!

Sophie - posted on 02/02/2010

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I totally agree with with you Christina!!!!! my man does barely anything i do all the cleaning the cooking the bottles the diaper change and I do the midnight night feedings and i get up with our soon to be 3 year old daughter!!!!! while he also plays his video games or hangs with his buddy's down in the basement!!

Franzia - posted on 02/02/2010

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My husband only helps when i ask him to. He's not a bad daddy.... just clueless lol

Christina - posted on 02/02/2010

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my husband will rarely help he thinks that my job is to take care of the baby do all the cleaning, and he just makes the money, he only see's are daughter 3hours a day and then he plays his video games , i wish he helped more, or at least had the baby more so that i can rest, in the 3hours he has with her i clean since she is teething she doesn't like to be put down so its hard to do anything, men think are job is easy if us girls went on strike the men would understand how hard it can be sometimes

A - posted on 02/02/2010

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every day with the baby. chores? he'll but some clothes in the laundry or pick up the house when i havent been able to get to it and its getting bad. maybe 1 time every 1 or 2 weeks. but he's always helping with the baby.

Alisha - posted on 02/02/2010

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he did at first helped with our son then when he started working again not so much, but the chores i went on strike since he never helped then he started helping out cuz he hated the dishes mess!

Chelsea - posted on 02/02/2010

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My bf will take the baby in the morning before work. I dont ask him to wake up at night with him often because he works full time and I only do school part time. I cook and do laundry. He does dishes and take out garbage. We split diapers and cleaning the room and bathroom. When he gets off work he does play time and puts our son down for his nap. When either of us gets frustrated we just ask for a break. It works out for us. I think because we both understand each others limits and are compassionate to what the other does for our family.

Shalaina - posted on 02/02/2010

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My husband is amazing! He always does nights and will give me time for naps, etc. I will do most of the cleaning but if I ask him to do something specific he does. I could not have found a better husband/father. Hopefully yours helps just as much!

Cathryn - posted on 02/02/2010

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My Hubby is a self employed full time worker and I am a Stay at home mom with 3 kids. I do most of the house chores and taken care of the kids. My hubby does cook and helps with the kids but it is me most the time.

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All the time...yes I do stay home, however I am not my husbands mommy and if he needs to be "mommied" he can mov back to his mom's. Having said that I do most of the housework, cooking etc.... he knows how to pick up after himself and on the days he can see I am at my limit (which is about 2 times a week) he cooks or suggests take out. If your afraid to ask for help they will never know you need it. There is no such thing as the "perfect wife or mother." So I beg of you don't try accept yur faults and show them to the hubby and he will step up to the plate and help when he can. The only one who notices if your T.V isn't dusted is you!!

Billie - posted on 02/02/2010

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my husband works three jobs and comes in and sometime plays with the kids and maybe helps but here lately he does nothing but come in and jump on his xbox360 and play call od duty 2 my son is 5 months and is becoming quite good at watching the games.i do the house work clean and cook no help from my man soo far

Sara - posted on 02/02/2010

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He only helps when i ask him or demand it. i'm the at home mom, thats y. he works on a school as maintence and all he hears is complain complain and this is broken(when it not even broken).

Lori - posted on 02/02/2010

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My husband helps out when he can, but he works very hard at his job/job's he is always doing something for someone in our family or for our friends, he is the go to guy. He is amazingly talented and I am happy to do the diapers and feedings. He does it when he can and he enjoys it. But I am very content at being a house wife, this is what I chose to do and I love it.

Stephanie - posted on 02/02/2010

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My husband helps all the time. If a diaper needs to be changed or bottle made, he is there helping. But mind you, we have three children. This did not happen over night. The first one, forget it. The second, he started helping. Now he helps alot more. Just keep in mind that men are not programmed like we are to do this. Some help and some don't. Over the years it gets better.

Francesca - posted on 02/02/2010

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Well my Dh works long hours out of town. So he really doesn't have much to do with anything during the week. And on the weekend he refuses to be the bad guy. So no diapers, no feeding veggies, no putting to sleep. So he of course is Ella's favourite toy! But I understand. He gets so little time with her, I would probably be the same...



As for housework, well he cooks on the weekends. And he just started to do his own laundry again. But he has never been much of a clean freak...

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