How should I talk to my child about inappropriate touching?

Megan - posted on 10/27/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Due to a scare at a playground, I want to talk to my almost 3 year old son about inappropriate touching. I trust the adults he spends time with but this is something he will have to learn. I have started by just telling him as we are changing his diaper (he's still not potty trained) that it's ok for someone to wipe him, but if anyone ever touches him in that area with their hands that he should say no and tell me about it. What have you done to get this message across?

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Well as my son is 14 months he wouldn't understand... but when I was young, we lived sort of close by where a serial rapist-murdering couple were caught and the police all went to the schools to talk to the kids.

I remember them talking about a "bubble of personal space" and which areas are "forbidden" or "off-limits" to anyone, except for special things like diaper changes, bathtime and what kind of touch is ok and what is bad. For example, all kids know what bathtime is supposed to be like so while he's inthe bath perhaps talk about how he's being washed, this is normal. If anyone touches him in a place differently than bathtime or diaper changes then talk to mom or dad or another trusted adult. Maybe get an action figure or other type "doll" and ask him to point to what areas are ok and what areas aren't, etc.

Sorry if I'm not much help, but hope you find a way to do this!

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Amanda - posted on 10/28/2010

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I have always told my daughter that NO ONE is allowed to touch her in her private areas unless they are a doctor at a doctor's office, or me. And to tell an adult immediately if someone other than that tries.

Kimi - posted on 10/27/2010

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At his age the best thing you can teach him is to scream if a stranger trys to take him because that's really all he can do to protect himself right now.
I have a digital download of Safety Kids by Brite Music for my 5 year old. It's a bunch of fun little songs that pretty much open up conversations for you to have with your kids.

Sara - posted on 10/27/2010

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well i too had a scare with my duaghter...we are still working on it but i just tell her it is her private area and no one is aloud to look or touch it...she so far is grasping it...but i have stressed to her no one i mean no one can touch although i trust her adults around she still needs to know they are not aloud to touch either...i tell her only one who can touch there is her no one else she is incharge of her private and no one else she is the captain of it since shes into pirates she thinks she is the captain pirate she knows mommy can wash or help wipe grandma and daddy and thats it no one else at least on my end like i said she is doin ok with it now its just a serious thing she needs to understand and i cant make it a game or a joke cuz i want her to take it serious so good luck and i hope i helped some probly not sorry

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