how soon to talk about sex with a child?

Sara - posted on 06/06/2012

side note.. I have a daughter of my own from my previous marriage who is turning 3 next month.. so from a mothers' perspective.. not just a girlfriend's/ step mom perspective I would definitely be talking to my daughter about things as they come up.. she knows about privacy and keeping clothes on when there are people around and that women have boobs and things like that.. and that boys have a different type of pee-pee (private parts) than girls do and that's why she can't go in the bathroom with my boyfriend.. she doesn't know the names of things or what things even look like but as she starts asking, like when she showers with me or if I'm changing in front of her, I tell her things and explain the best I can for a 3 yr old to understand lol but once she's big enough and in school and starting to ask about sex I'm not going to lie about it.. ill figure out how to explain it but I wouldn't wait til later expecially because of society and things that could possiblyaffect her judgement.

Sara - posted on 06/06/2012

thank you ladies for the responses, I agree with both you and your thoughts/opinions helped me a lot.. I'm just going to let it go for now and if she starts asking about sex again then maybe sit down and discuss with my boyfriend on how he can atleast tell her about it and if she needs more carification talk to her mom.. but like I said I'm not sure her mother would tell the truth.. her mother was a teen mom so obviously didn't know much and that's part of why I'm not sure she'll tell all that should be told at this age. I have nothing against teen mothers at all I just feel like statistically speaking it may be a time to talk to her about sex before she learns at school. I've been with my boyfriend fr almost 2 years now and have not officially met the ex wife yet.. she thinks good things of me because the kids always go home and say nice things of me and I'm always taking care of them when my boyfriend works and we have his kids with the week or weekend so eventually I'll meet her officially but I guess we'll figure out this sex talk situation as it comes up again.

Lee - posted on 06/05/2012

This is a good one. lol. I just feel like, society loses their virginity at a young age now days. Most of my friends, especially male friends, told me they lost their virginity at the age of 9-16, I was shocked at the lower ranged numbers. As my son was growing up, who is 9 right now, I use to start by telling him, "no one can't touch your privates, especially a grown up and if they do you run and come and tell us," he understood what i said, but we didn't thoroughly explain it, so one day when he got kicked in the privates, by a older girl, he came running to tell me, which was good but obviously he misunderstood, because he made the statement, "you told me to tell you when someone touches my privates" and i said "THAT'S RIGHT," but lately my son been asking a lot of questions about how babies get into your stomach since I'm pregnant at the moment, and I just told him the truth. I just said, man privates go in girl privates and they have a baby. He gave me a "what the hell" face and said "so that mean my dad private went to your private and had me" I wasn't expecting that question but I said yes. Then i proceed to tell him, "but you don't have to have a baby when your not ready and that there are preventative ways to not have a baby", where abstinence was on he top of the list. I just want him to know from me instead of exploring his curiosity with society, and if he does decide or happens to do this one day, at least I know that i told him what to do when the situation arises, but I feel like sex is going to come later down the line of age, but you never know. I now feel like I must stay active in this category, and remind him often as he get older and to prepare him for reality because this world is nothing nice and we can only protect our children the best way we can. Me and my mother only spoke about sex 1 time in life and I also had sex education class, it taught us prevention, but no one explain expiration dates on condoms and neither of these things can prevent a rubber from breaking, which happen to me causing me to get pregnant at a young age, and i wasn't looking for it, sex found me. We are our child first teachers and I feel that sugar coating doesn't get the whole point across, but then again I feel like it's up to the mother on how she wants to approach the situation, everyone's different.

Dove - posted on 06/05/2012

I do agree with you that questions should be answered as they come up, but unless you have a really good relationship with the mother and ask her about this... I fear you would just 'stir up' trouble if you were to answer the child's questions yourself.

If she's hearing about sex at school, then she really does need the right information and I hope her dad can see that. If she's not hearing about sex at school, then I think the mom's answer is fine for a 7 year old. Puberty should start to be discussed by this age, but sex can wait for a couple of more years as long as MISinformation isn't being given elsewhere.