How to deal with ex who is baby's father?

Lebogang - posted on 07/10/2012

i suggest you blet him see his child afterall hes the father and hes entitled to see his baby ....i
i started having problems with my baby daddy while i was # i tthink 5 months pregnant# he cheated on me with his ex i was so hurt ...he came to me asking for for giveness i forgave him ..but he kept on seeing other women till today 10/05/2012 my heart still hurt a lot he pushed me to the edge ..where by im fed-up cant take it anymore i still love him a lot...but i will never in my entire life be with him again and i pray to god not to see him again
if he wants to see his baby he can go to my parents house but him and i we shall never ...ever meet

Arica - posted on 07/10/2012

Hey, and it really depends on you mood at the time, but sooner than later it will go away. You will decide to push it away for the sake of the baby. I know because with my first childs father i hated him and still cared for him at the same time. First off he lefted when my baby was 6 months old but I still cared cause he was there when my Mother passed away. So like I said in time.

Laura - posted on 07/10/2012

as 4 ur question if u go 2 court & he isnt doing a thing 4 ur child then u can have sole coustady & well u have the final say in all ur child does, take him for child support & make a visitation afrement & have the judge ok it so this way at the end u r clear of everything, its a pain the the back side & court can drag out & get nasty but its well worth it set rules and guide lines now before it can get messy! trust me best of luck & do the best 4 the child not 4 either of u because its about the child & never let the child know anything ever! best of luck! queens of family court - saddly!!!

Laura - posted on 07/10/2012

I was with my X for over over 9 years, I thought I knew him & then had a child, there after things just got very bad very fast, the control & all the other issues, we tried but it didnt work, then he got a bit crazy because I left & well 4 a very long time I hated him & well got so bad we had 2 go 2 court because we couldnt even talk, sadly he stepped out of my daughters life 2 prove a point 2 me & well needless 2 say my hated of him grew, but after 5 years & a restraning order I have 4gotten all the issues and trouble & now am hurt 2 te core because my daughter doesnt have a father! all that anger, hate, pain and fear goes way with time, & trus me 1 day u will look back & ask y u hated him so much, its a hard road, its going 2 take time but in the end u have 2 put ur child 1st & know that u never want ur child 2 look at u like u were at fault, do the best u can with what u have & put ur head up this 2 shall pass & don't 4get there r good men out there 2 help u along the way so don't give up on urself either, best of luck from I never gae up & still trying!

Jessica - posted on 07/09/2012

In my opinion if you have sole custody (primary, she lives with you) I would say you basically do have final say. Your her mother, the parent that is taking care of her 24/7 . It would be best to go to court and get sole custody and visitation set up.

Jessica - posted on 07/09/2012

My daughter is 6 years old and I still can't stand her father! Yet she doesn't know that of course. Though everyone is different. I'm sure things will get better:)

Tiffany - posted on 07/09/2012

Make sure the court knows you pay and do everything.. Get custody with visitation or he can take her and make his own decisions,

Erin - posted on 07/09/2012

Thanks so much for the support and advice! I'll never speak ill of him to her because I know it's me who has the problem with him and he and I who had the problem relationship. Another question... I AM DOING & PAYING FOR EVERYTHING, HOW MUCH CONTROL AND FINAL SAY DO I HAVE?? Sounds like a silly question now that I ask it, but curious to hear feedback...

Thanks Mommies!!

Rachel - posted on 07/09/2012

I very much agree with Louise. Dispite you hatred for the guy, your baby can never know how you truly feel. It will only hurt the child and eventually the child will hold it against you. Eventually those feelings will go away. Just always make sure you hate him in secret or with your girlfriends when your child isn't around.
I loathe my son's father and have for the past 6 years. He's in and out of his life whenever he wants and breaks promises and will go two years without contacting him, he even owes me 22K in child support. I never bad mouth him to my son, and he has no idea I don't like his father. Eventually those feelings go away and you don't dwell on them anymore, I promse :)

Ivt - posted on 07/09/2012

it is a challenging time at first. however, try to make the best of it for your baby. Co-parenting can be such a blessing for your child's life. I think a good celebrity example would be Jenifer lopez & mark Anthony. both have moved on but are okay with it & still choose to maintain a civil relationship for their kids. unless there was any kind of family violence, it can be done. I hope this helps & congrats on your little one. don't stress out, focus on your little bundle of joy.

Louise - posted on 07/09/2012

Your feelings have to be put to the side where the father is concerned. Your child has the right to know him even though you hate him. You must never belittle the childs father in front of them because this can cause a lot of problems later in life. Give the man a chance to be a good dad, he was a shit partner but you never know your luck he may be a great dad.

Jodi - posted on 07/09/2012

It generally gets better (but that is going to depend on how you handle it). 18 years is a long time, so you are going to have to get past it and find a way to deal with him. When dealing with him in relation to your baby, you are going to have to really take the high road and push your emotions about it aside, otherwise it is going to be hell for the next 18 years. I know how hard it is, but you can do this for the sake of your baby.