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How to deal with tantrums my 3 1/2 year old has, every since I had my new born baby boy?

Caressa - posted on 06/21/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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17

My husband and I just welcomed our second son 4 weeks ago. We have a 16 year old daughter and a 3 1/2 year old son. Our daughter has been a great help with both her brothers. Shes a senior in high school and is currently trying to figure out what her plans are after she graduates. My 3 1/2 year old son on the other hand is having a hard time adjusting to the new baby.

He has his good and bad days, but lately more bad then good. He has always been my partner glued to my hip so I know this is a major adjustment cause he has to share his mommy now. We've been including him in EVERYTHING when it comes to feeding, changing the babies diaper, picking out his clothes. But lately he has been setting me off to the point where I can't stand looking at him. Asking him to pick up his room, get ready, eat without playing is such a headache. I am a stay at home mom and go to school full time online and I feel emotionally drained.

We tried making him a big boy chore list and getting stickers as rewards, we signed him up for Tee-Ball with Daddy for some alone time. I'v taking away all his toys and priviliges when he acts up. He cries and sceams when I put him in time out. And night time is another story. I've got up 15 + time and put him back in his own room on night.

Any new ideas and suggestions would be grately appreciated!
Thanks :)

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5 Comments

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Caressa - posted on 06/27/2012

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Hi Kate!

Thank you so much! I don't feel as helpless now. I just thought I was doing everything in my power and I wasn't getting any where. It's been 5 weeks now and I have to say the last week and a half have been great. We have our hiccups but for the most part, my patience has been there and his understanding too :) My mother has been doing outings with him twice a week and I have had some "Mommy & Big Boy" time!

Kate - posted on 06/27/2012

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Keep in mind it's only been a month. For both you and him, your hormones are still not 100% back to normal and his world just got turned upside down. It sounds like you're doing all the right things- giving him rewards for good behaviour and consequences for bad. I work with kids with behavior issues and I have noticed many times that behavior tends to get worse before it gets better. Kids don't like changes. Give him some more time and lots of love and attention- he'll come around :)

In the interest of your own mental health consider signing up for a gym that offers free child care while you work out. Or talk to family and friends about talking him out one or two days a week. Maybe give your oldest a privalage or some money to take him for a walk or to the park when she comes home from school. It's hard to respond appropriately and keep things in perspective when your stressed and frustrated.

Kate - posted on 06/27/2012

68

0

Keep in mind it's only been a month. For both you and him, your hormones are still not 100% back to normal and his world just got turned upside down. It sounds like you're doing all the right things- giving him rewards for good behaviour and consequences for bad. I work with kids with behavior issues and I have noticed many times that behavior tends to get worse before it gets better. Kids don't like changes. Give him some more time and lots of love and attention- he'll come around :)

In the interest of your own mental health consider signing up for a gym that offers free child care while you work out. Or talk to family and friends about talking him out one or two days a week. Maybe give your oldest a privalage or some money to take him for a walk or to the park when she comes home from school. It's hard to respond appropriately and keep things in perspective when your stressed and frustrated.

Caressa - posted on 06/22/2012

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Hi Laura,

Thank you for the feedback! I will definitely try that :)

Laura - posted on 06/22/2012

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8

The tee ball is a great idea but he wants your attention. Try to find sometime to do something special alone with him, like going out for ice cream no baby just you.

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