How young is too young?

Charlie - posted on 05/23/2009

i fell pregnant at 24 and even with a career a loving partner and all the support in the world i felt like i was too young ! but personally i found it made me grow up very quickly i love being a mum and my son is amazing , but i would be upset if he came to me and told me got someone preggers in his teens .

Sarah - posted on 05/23/2009

i was 20 when i got pregnant and 21 when i had my daughter. My boyfriend and I both had full time jobs and we had a place of our own, but since Colbie was a surprise we did not have the savings to support us through my 3 month long unpaid maternity leave and had to move in with my parents. I feel we were both mature and ready to have this baby and had it been planned we would have been completely able to do it on our own.

Marcia - posted on 05/12/2009

I had just turned 26, but had been married for three years....we were really hoping...getting pregnant took longer than expected. Due to being married and everything (education/job situation, etc.) I don't think I was too young. I only have one...a son...I would be kind of freaked a little bit if he came home before high school explaining that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant...I'm uncertain if he will even hit puberty before that age so that is pretty much why. This would also be my opinion if I had a girl though....it would kind of get me kind of freaked. I really hope my children would want to kind of wait though until they were older.



I'm of the opinion that if someone tells you that they are having a baby the first thing they need is a heartfelt "congratulations" and, if appropriate, a hug...it does not matter their age!

As a parent though I think some well placed discussions of their plans (ex. what are you and your partner planning to do now?) might be appropriate, depending on their age....at 16 or 17 if the couple is married or something I do not think it is my business, just to be a happy grandmother :)

Mellissa - posted on 05/12/2009

I was 16 when i had my first baby only got to year 11 in school but i'm still with the father (11 years on) hold a fuill time job and now have two sons who are happy and healthy, (planning baby No.3) i had frirends in school that are older than me that had thier kids takin off them for verous reasons. under 16 is a bit young but its not the amount of candles on your birthday cake that matters its how you act as a person that matters, some people are never going to be old enough for kids and some young girls make great mums, if my boys came home and told me they got thier girlfriend pregnant i'd help them any way i could

Annie - posted on 05/12/2009

I was 16 when I found out that I was pregnant. I had a very positive experience but it was heavily affected by the fact that I had amazing familial support and my husband is the greatest! I went to school with quite a few who were pregnant at the same age and I was the only one to graduate, much less with honors. =) I feel that I was raised to be mature for my age, so I was emotionally ready to handle it, given the situation. My only regret is, now that I'm in my early 20's, that I won't get to have that phase of frivolousness that seems to plague the college town in which we live. Also, I have put my college education on hold so I can be here for my kids, and (even though I'll only be 36 when my youngest turns 18) the routine college experience is lost forever. That's something that I won't be able to get back. No regrets, but I do hope that through my openness and honesty with my children (a boy and a girl), they will see that their lives hold so many other opportunities and that there will be time later to have children. Naturally since I had to break the news to my mother at the age of 16, I have imagined that I may eventually have to be on the other end of that conversation. I hope that my children will have the same maturity that I had at that age, and my plan is for them to be responsible enough for their actions that they could potentially handle that, so if either one of them approached me in that manner I would be supportive and understanding (unlike my mother at first haha). I don't want to encourage it but I do want to support their in their every endeavor. It's a tough question!

Alex - posted on 05/12/2009

i was 15 when i got pregnant and 15 when i had my son Austin. it was the midddle of 10th grade when i had him. i would def say that it was too young to have a child. im not saying having sex at 14-15 is ok but its human nature. i was a good kid, got great grades and my bf (that i was with for just about a year when i got prenant) never presured me. he was the only bf that i had and i lost my virginity to. my parents didnt let me run around with him i had to sneak outta the house to see him, so its not my parents fault. im now 21 and my son is 5. i was with my ex for 5 1/2 years. i stayed home for the fisrt 3 1/2 years and then got a job then eventually put him in daycare. im now in my 3rdyear of college. luckly for me i had great family support and money was never a problem. my entire family cant imagine life without him. hes a gold belt it karate and will be starting another activity, not sure what he wants and for the people disrespecting the young mothers need to keep their opinions to themselves. you dont know me, you dont know my son, he is spoiled, but he is very respectful and disiplined. i get compliments all the time about his behavior. the daycare teacher was blown away when she found out i was only 21. good luck to all the young moms, we're the best moms!!!

Catherine - posted on 05/12/2009

no thats i little different if i every found out i daughter was doing that the phone would be takin in a heart beat you have no idea who and what could get there hands on that. girls who do that sort of things are the ones that end up getting raped or something. they may think it ok it's my boy friend but at the end of the day who these days is still with there high school boy friend wants to say that he dosnt show it to his mates who then put it on the intrenet. no i would not allow my kid male or female so send nude pics thats just wrong. im sorry if that hurts anyone. but i no a female that did that and if only i could say what happened.

Pamela - posted on 05/08/2009

I just turned 22 when I had mt daughter so know i don't think i was to young. Iwould like my daughter to at least gradurate high school before she comes and says hey mom... I think that if we raise our child right and tell her everything about sex that she'll be smart about it and i won;t here those words till she 22 or older. But if she is real young I don't know what I would do. love her and tell her that everything well work out.

Jacy - posted on 05/08/2009

wow what a question. i was 20 when i found out i was pregnant and 21 when i had my daughter. i dont think i was too young but i deffinatly had troubles with being a young mom and being sleep deprived and so on (but thats any new mom). i want to have my children at a young age so i can do things with them.

as for when i would want my children to have kids i would hope that they are married and finacially set. but i know that those plans dont always happen like that. if my child had a baby under the legal working age of 16 then the baby would be signed over to my husband and i for temporary custody until the she could take care of the baby on her own. she would still be mom and be for the most part in control of the babies life. but if she was 16 or older and still in school she would be getting a job after the baby was born and working to be responceable for the child. i would help them but not be fully responceable since its not my child ya know... it would be hard news to take having your pre teen or teen girl come home and say mom im pregnant.... actually i think i would rather have a soin come home and say mom my girl friend is pregnant then to have my daughter say shes pregnant.

Brenda - posted on 05/08/2009

i had my first at 20 and even then i think that it was to young.... i would change it though.. i want my son to wait till he's 24-25

Danielle - posted on 05/08/2009

I was 20 when I found out I was preganant. I think it was the right age for me, although everyone is different. I definantely wouldn't have wanted to be any younger, although I believe I could have handeled it.

Helen - posted on 05/08/2009

I had my son at 28 and although we could have had children earlier we decided to wait so that it would be financially easier and i am very glad we did as we have a nice house in a nice area and although we both have to work full time we do not struggle for anything.

Jamie - posted on 05/08/2009

i was 19 when i found out i was pregnant it was 1 month away from our wedding, but also my pregnacy was planned due to medical reasons i had a hysterectomy @ 24 we've had a few hard times but, we've done ok if i thought that i would have been able to have a few more yrs to spare then i would have probably waited my kids are now 4yr an 18 months an i wouldn't want them having kids til sometime in their 20s i would hope they would be able to go on to school first

Amber - posted on 05/08/2009

I was 17 when i found I was pregnant with my 1st. I was too young but we managed and had a lot of family support. My now husband and I struggled a lot and I wish we would have had more time with just us.Now, I wouldn't have it any other way. He will be 5 in July and is just a ham. I dont know what I would do if my child came home between the ages of 11-17 and told me they where pregnant or had gotten someone pregnant. I guess I would just be supportive and bring up the option of adoption or keeping the baby. But, go into with an open mind and just be there for them.

Staci - posted on 05/08/2009

What people don't understand is that if you go back 50 years 20 was old to be having kids most women were 15 and married with a baby on the way..i was 19 when I found out and married people critize me everyday. If you know what you want then there is no reason to let other people judge you. Only you know if you are ready...my mom was 15 when she got pregnant and her a my father have been married for 22 years now sometimes when you start your family young you understand how hard it is and you put forth the extra effort to make it work

Jenny - posted on 05/08/2009

Im 23 and have 3 kids, i work part-time and try to do the best for my family, it can be hard sometimes financially but we get by. I do miss going out with friends but still would'nt change anything. i hate it when people say how do you cope having them so close together so young but i love it. ive still got my whole life ahead of me to start a career, i think 20 is a good age to have a baby if your ready for the responsibilty, and have support and be able to support the family financially. When im out with the 3 of them i get a few looks and feel like im not doing a good job as people think im claiming benefits or i dont know who the dad is to my kids but im actually married.

Vanessa - posted on 05/07/2009

just after i turned 18 i found out i was pregnant. and i was single.. i use to love getting drunk every night with my mates.. and yes i think i was too young but i wouldn't change it for the world.. i love my life the way it is. and i peronally don't like teen pregnancy 17 yrs younger as they are still someones else's babies. but in saying that i don't judge any body and will suport there decissions.. I had a friend at high school who felt pregnant at just 14 and she is a wonderful mother. i say if there old enough to have sex the old enough to face the siituation.. and i will be there for anyone who needs help

Becky - posted on 05/07/2009

thanks Jd. That means alot when most of this convo is putting us down.
i think that people who think they are too young to have a child depends on the person. some people thort it was to young, thats up to them, its their lives, i personnaly didnt.

i look at some of my friends now, one who is about a year younger than me has slept with 16 lads, s out almost every night, doesnt know the meaning of a stable relationship, gets drunk and puts herself in stupid situations. ive slep with 3 ppl. an i belive my life is more stable than hers. ive said this before but id rather be a teen mum than doing god knows what every weekend with god knows who

Carla - posted on 05/07/2009

i was 21 when i had my first and never wanted kids till at least 25. I was not ready at 21 so i would go mad at mine if they told me they were having a baby as a teenager. i wish i had waited but would not change mother hood for the world. i now have 2 and love them to bits.

User - posted on 05/07/2009

well i was 16 with my first, 20 with my second, and i was way too young with both, i am 26 this year raising a 5 and almost 10 year old! my youngest is special needs (autism) and honestly some days i don't have a clue. i do the best i can, but i do make mistakes just like anyone. i honestly hope my kids wait till they are established in life, finish school, get a great job, those kinds of things. babys and kids are o picnic sometimes and can be very hard.

Jd - posted on 05/07/2009

Quoting Becky:

Quoting Leslie:

Quoting Jamie:

Sorry I think 15 is way to young to have sex, period. Didnt you have anything better to do? Sports, school work, clubs? Why did you have to have sex at that point in your life? Because you thought you were ready? My opinions still stand, I think its down right gross for a girl under the age to have sex. I mean watch the news look at how many girsl are sending dirty text messages, and dirty pictures, do you think this is ok? If not, then why is sex ok?

I agree that having sex at fifteen and even 18 is way too young, but where are you putting resonsibiltiy on their parents. Parents have the ability to check there childrens text and pic messages, as well as facebook and myspace. My parents taught me about abstinance and birth control. They were very open and I still got pregnant at 18. If a teen or young adult is going to have sex, they are going to have sex one way or another.  Underage girls who have sex don't fully and connot fully comprehend the consequence of there actions. I have relized this recently looking back at some of my own actions.  The part of the humans brain that makes a human have an understanding for the consequences of their actions is not fully developed until age 25.  I am not saying that this is an excuse for their actions, but teens don't always fully think the consequences will actually affect them.  I hope you are not judging all mom's who got pregnant at a young age.  My friend got pregnant a 16 (she is from a broken home), finished high school with honors while working and is now in college at Southeastern Louisiana University with me.  We met at freshman oreintation at SLEU. We are both moms who got pregnant during high school, who work, and carry a 4.0 GPA. in one of the top nursing programs in the state.  So be so quick to judge.    

im sorry but it was nothing to do with my parents who , where or when i had sex.obviously they cared about me as  they gave me the talk when i was nine years old. i knew all the facts and as i said me an my ex were togehtre for 9 months prior. he wasnt only after one thing.  i always protected myself and he wasnt the man to get me pregnant.plus i would see it as an invation of privacey if my parents went snooping on my phone. they had more respect for me than that. i knew the consequences. infact i was the consaquence. i knew exactly what i was doing

alot of people on here sound like a 15 year old doesnt know their own mind. well i did and i still do. my life has turned out for the better since having my son. before i got pregnant i was about to give up on college, i worked as a cleaner (not that there is anyting wrong with that) and i was still living with my parents. i now have my own home a wonderful son and partner and a good enuf job.

GOOD FOR YOU! I am so so happy you were able to make something of yourself and move forward in a possitive way.

YAY!! (not being sarcastic at all good job)

I agree, for different reasons but I agree.

Becky - posted on 05/07/2009

Quoting Jamie:

because someone asked a question, you can have sex when ever you want. Doesnt mean I have to be ok with the fact that girls are having sex and getting pregnant at 15. And your right I wasnt ready, because I was still a child. As were you. For some reason girls want to grow up to fast. But you never answered my questions about sexting. Is it ok for a 15 yr old girl to send sexually explicit text messages and nude photos?

that is none of my business. i never sent messages like that. ive been with my partner for 4 years and still wouldnt send messages like that. like ive said, if a teen wants to live her life like that as long as its not disturbing my life it doesnt concern me. you can have an opinion, but to force it onto other people is wrong. i still dont see what strangers do behind closed doors has to do with you.

Becky - posted on 05/07/2009

Quoting Leslie:

Quoting Jamie:

Sorry I think 15 is way to young to have sex, period. Didnt you have anything better to do? Sports, school work, clubs? Why did you have to have sex at that point in your life? Because you thought you were ready? My opinions still stand, I think its down right gross for a girl under the age to have sex. I mean watch the news look at how many girsl are sending dirty text messages, and dirty pictures, do you think this is ok? If not, then why is sex ok?

I agree that having sex at fifteen and even 18 is way too young, but where are you putting resonsibiltiy on their parents. Parents have the ability to check there childrens text and pic messages, as well as facebook and myspace. My parents taught me about abstinance and birth control. They were very open and I still got pregnant at 18. If a teen or young adult is going to have sex, they are going to have sex one way or another.  Underage girls who have sex don't fully and connot fully comprehend the consequence of there actions. I have relized this recently looking back at some of my own actions.  The part of the humans brain that makes a human have an understanding for the consequences of their actions is not fully developed until age 25.  I am not saying that this is an excuse for their actions, but teens don't always fully think the consequences will actually affect them.  I hope you are not judging all mom's who got pregnant at a young age.  My friend got pregnant a 16 (she is from a broken home), finished high school with honors while working and is now in college at Southeastern Louisiana University with me.  We met at freshman oreintation at SLEU. We are both moms who got pregnant during high school, who work, and carry a 4.0 GPA. in one of the top nursing programs in the state.  So be so quick to judge.    

im sorry but it was nothing to do with my parents who , where or when i had sex.obviously they cared about me as  they gave me the talk when i was nine years old. i knew all the facts and as i said me an my ex were togehtre for 9 months prior. he wasnt only after one thing.  i always protected myself and he wasnt the man to get me pregnant.plus i would see it as an invation of privacey if my parents went snooping on my phone. they had more respect for me than that. i knew the consequences. infact i was the consaquence. i knew exactly what i was doing

alot of people on here sound like a 15 year old doesnt know their own mind. well i did and i still do. my life has turned out for the better since having my son. before i got pregnant i was about to give up on college, i worked as a cleaner (not that there is anyting wrong with that) and i was still living with my parents. i now have my own home a wonderful son and partner and a good enuf job.

Jd - posted on 05/07/2009

I am not a fan of standerdization.



Not everyone is ready at the same time.



If you want to standerdize childbirth and pregnancy then make a world wide test and chastity products. The test has to be passed before they come off and you can boink.



Sounds like its gunna happen right???



WRONG!



Like I said life isnt made in a mold and everyone is the same. Some people are ready for whatever at whatever age, some NEVER are.



Sex is going to happen, I dont personally care what age someone starts having CONSENSUAL sex at. Not a huge life factor. If you dont want your child pregant instill good morals and a good sence of self, protect them and care for them, watch who they hang with and invest in birth control and condoms ect. LASTLY HOPE IT FRICKIN WORKS!



Thats it.



Eveyone has a personal opinion . It doesnt make everyone right.

They should standerdize a test for that too right?

Are you able and READY to have an opinion test!



There I made one, your opinion doesnt count until you take it!

Melanie - posted on 05/07/2009

I was 24 when I got pregnant and 25 when my precious little boy came into the world. I agree that people still in their young teen years shouldn't be having babies its just too young, that being said, sometimes this stuff just happens. I was reading through some of the other messages and one thing struck me as a sort of misconception about good parenting, you don't always NEED a 'good husband' I am a single mother by choice, the 'man' I was with that is the father of my baby was a drunk, a liar, a gambler and an irresponsible person in general. I made the decision to extract him from my life and I've never been happier. He can come and visit our son when he chooses its been over a month since he's tried. He doesn't help us with child support. What I'm trying to say is that having a two parent home is not a necessity of life as long as a child is in a loving home. My little boy has a mother, grandmother, aunts and uncles, not to mention my grandmother, aunts and uncles and cousins that love him and he's flourishing and a very happy healthy baby!

Jamie - posted on 05/07/2009

because someone asked a question, you can have sex when ever you want. Doesnt mean I have to be ok with the fact that girls are having sex and getting pregnant at 15. And your right I wasnt ready, because I was still a child. As were you. For some reason girls want to grow up to fast. But you never answered my questions about sexting. Is it ok for a 15 yr old girl to send sexually explicit text messages and nude photos?

Becky - posted on 05/07/2009

Quoting Jamie:

Sorry I think 15 is way to young to have sex, period. Didnt you have anything better to do? Sports, school work, clubs? Why did you have to have sex at that point in your life? Because you thought you were ready? My opinions still stand, I think its down right gross for a girl under the age to have sex. I mean watch the news look at how many girsl are sending dirty text messages, and dirty pictures, do you think this is ok? If not, then why is sex ok?

no the thing is 15 was to young for you. 15 was the right tiem for m. we are all individual, and all have different feelings etc.

ill ask you the same questioin. how is it any of your buiness when i or anyone else (that isnt you or your children) have sex?

Skylur - posted on 05/07/2009

I personally think age does play a big roll in being to young but also mental maturity is important. I was 27 when I got pregnant and had my daughter and I was still terrified. I can only imagin how a child or young adult would feel. I would not want my daughter to have a child at such a young age. I would want her to enjoy her childhood; expirience life with out the complication of having a baby at such a young age. If she were to tell me she was pregnant I would be very dissapointed in her but I would stand behind her in whatever decision she made for her self and that baby. I would still love her the same and there's nothing she could do that would ever change that.

Karla - posted on 05/07/2009

ok i am 21 now and i was 17 when i lost my virginity. i had guys trying to talk me into have sex but i knew how to say no. i found out i was pregnant when i was 19 and had my son when i was 20. and the father of my child is the same guy i lost my virginity to. and we are planning to get married may 21st. our relationship hasnt always been great tho. its not perfect. we've had our ups and downs believe that. but were always there for each other. but nowadays im scared. i dont want my son to come home at 15 or 16 saying he got a girl pregnant. and thats all this world is coming to. we're gonna have as many talks with him as we need to. i think that 20 is a nice age to have a child at. i feel that i can better releate to my child since we are closer in age.(my mom had me when she was 28 and my sister when she was 30) i had a very rough pregnancy and labor so that scared me about getting pregnant again. we want to try for another baby in about 3 or 4 years but nothing before that. i do think that kids under 16 shouldnt have sex. im glad i wanted till 17 and didnt fall into the pressure of doing it before then. teens these days jus need to listen to their parents and understand that having a child is a big responsibilty. you need to make sure that you have the support that you need to go through the pregnancy and labor and raising your child.

Anneke - posted on 05/07/2009

I was 21 when I had my first. Sometimes I wonder if it was too young, but I know it's not. I just didn't feel ready, but you can never BE ready! If my son came home saying he got his gf pregnant at such a young age, I would want to hang him, but I would totally support whatever decisions they make. I would expect them to finish school, and of course get a p/t job to support their family, but I would do whatever I could to help them out. Afterall, a baby is a baby, and it's not the baby's fault for it's parents foolish behaviour. Unconditional love, that's a given when you have kids

Anastasia - posted on 05/07/2009

Hmmm...OK. To start, I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant, 19 when Tobias was born and I'm 20 now. I don't think I was too young to have a baby because I've always been older than my age because I basically had to look after myself from 11-16 (my mum had a "i never got to be young because of you" crisis) but I know a lot of girls my age and older who certainly aren't ready.
I wasn't planning to get pregnant at such a young age, when I found out I was pregnant I saw my future, my goals and my ambitions pass before my eyes. I was so upset and shocked and it took a couple days to get used to (I was surprised it didn't take longer). After those few days I'd realized that I could still have a life with a baby. It's not the best situation for us at the moment, I'm still off work and Nathan had lost hours at work because of this recession, so money is very tight, and because Nathan is young and a man he doesn't yet realize about bills and their necessity to be paid.
Nathan took it the pregnancy very well initially, but had a "you've ruined my life forever, you bitch" crisis because his best friend kept harping in his ear about how horrible fatherhood is. But after a few weeks he got over it and started to enjoy the fact that there was life in my womb, life that we had created and he hasn't looked back since.
I agree with Amanda Gilbert 11-16 is to young for girls and boys to be having sex and I really wish that I hadn't allowed myself to be pressured into it at 14, I was mature both physically and mentally but still too young, I have always been a little bit sadder since that day.
Yes it's way to early for people to be having babies, a male friend of mine became a father at 14 and it was not a good situation, Chloe is now 6 and he's only just started to have the initiative to take 50/50 custody having only just gotten his life together with his partner, her daughter, their daughter and bub on the way. So it's been a long road for him.
For my own child/children I would feel devastated for them at such an age, our youth is their to be enjoyed without responsibilities. I believe I would be understanding and help to the extent that they would allow me. I do hope though that my children become wise enough to have a life and stability before then.

Also, I was at a friends house the other day and her 5 year old daughter was dancing so provocatively, touching herself and grabbing and swaying. I was absolutely mortified, I hadn't realised the Industry had gotten that out of control. I think this is going to really effect the rate of young mothers. I feel so helpless on this, children are becoming easier prey, and because they're growing up with this they don't realize how at risk they are.

User - posted on 05/07/2009

Quoting Jamie:

Oh and Sarah at 18 you can only buy a rifle, you cant buy a hand gun. But thats a whole different topic. Dont get my started on gun control

i was using it as an example as laws concerned the legal age to have a child is 16 any younger and the male can end up going to court yet you cant buy a gun till your 18 yet you can legally bring a child into the world at 16 i completely agree that children need to learn young so that when they go to high school they dont feel pressured into having sex i was lucky that i found my soul mate and we lived upto the responsability of looking after a child. but i do believe if id of had more self confidence when i was younger i wouldnt of jumped into having relationships as young as i did and i hope that when my boys grow up they will respect women and know that having sex doesnt show you love someone knowing them inside out first shows that they love them and are willing to wait till there old enough.

Lisa - posted on 05/07/2009

Quoting Jamie:

Oh and Sarah at 18 you can only buy a rifle, you cant buy a hand gun. But thats a whole different topic. Dont get my started on gun control

not quite true. what do we need gun control for? "Right to bear arms" remember that.

User - posted on 05/07/2009

i was 21 when i found out i was pregnant, i concieved my son 4 days after my 21st b-day. i dont' think i was too young, i guess because i was always more mature than my age. if my son had a baby even if he was 17, i would be very upset because he changed the rest of his entire life so so young. but i would make sure that he took care of his responsibilities as a father

Natasha - posted on 05/07/2009

i was 15 when i had my 1st daughter and 18 when i had my 2nd daughter i dont think i was to young im very happy with them and wouldnt change anythink

Trish - posted on 05/07/2009

I was 21 when i got pregnant with my daughter, I'd say i was young but not too young. I wouldn't want my children to have babies while they still in their teens, and hope I never have to deal with anything like that cos i think when that happens then the child really has to grow up very quickly and they miss out on the early part of adult life where they can just go out have fun and enjoy themselves before settling down. however I would always support my children in whatever happens whether it's what was planned or not.

Gemma - posted on 05/07/2009

i was fifteen when i found out i was pregnant i had 12 weeks left till i had my little girl it was a big shock to the system i wouldnt change my little girl for the world but i still felt at fifteen i was far too young to have a child i was only a child my self. i feel it is a shame as the mothers are getting younger and younger these days and most of it is because they think they will get there own place and stuff some think it is cool to be pushing a pram around like some kind of fashion accessorie id just like to say also its a human life and these things should deffinatley be something when your financially,physically and mentally able to look after yourself before trying to look after another life my child has never been without love support and financially aided but it has been a struggle

Mel - posted on 05/06/2009

oh my god thats terrible hun. i couldnt imagine actually being raped ive been sexually assaulted but couldnt imagine it going that far. my best friend had it done to her by her dad until she was 14 and she was quite messed up for a while. i got away from the guy luckily at 15 but do remember how scared i was thinking im not going to get away from him he's going to rape me. my mother called the police then refused to support me told me i egged it on and would not even go to court with me when i was supeened (not sure about spelling sorry). never even asked how it went which hurt more then anything. anyway im al past that long time ago just wanted to say i feel for you and if you would like to add me to msn or facebook or if you ever want to chat my email is molehead09@live.com.au. i have to go feed my little girl and will not be back on for a bit til her sleep so you takecare

Amanda - posted on 05/06/2009

Yes, I was, and still am to an extent, very naive. I was raped when I was 15 and it terrified me and it really made me not trust guys. I am so thankful that I didn't get pregnant or have any STD's from that. I couldn't even tell you what the guy looked like because the night it happened was the 1st and last time I ever saw him.

Mel - posted on 05/06/2009

i agree my mother never gave me that sex talk either how did make me take birth control when i first turned 16. i was taking them about every 5 days as i never remembered to but it didnt bother me as i knew i had trouble getting pregnant and it was unlikely. One thing i was careful with was making sure my partners had been tested for STDs so considering my mum never told me anythin and i didnt finish school im not sure what made me so cautious.wow 13 so young but not uncommon with the kind of unbringing youve had im very sorry to hear about this and glad you are doing better now. i had an unbringing with sex abuse but no severe physical abuse however i felt so pressured into doing things i should never have done, when i was 15 almost 16 i went out with a guy who asked me out turns out he was 34 i was still naive and never thought when he took me back to his place was only after one thing. i never really counted this exprience as losing my virginity as it lasted about 2 minutes before i asked him to stop and he took me home. i felt terrible asking him to stop but that was the first and only time id ever had the guts to do this and i didnt become involved in a serious relationship til i was 16 and a half. at that time i loved the guy and he loved me but i still had it in my head that guys need sex and you have to give it to them as much as you can to keep them happy. ive grown and learned now with the help of my fiance who has taught me that he doesnt need to have sex with me and if he can see i am not inetrested in something he will not pursue it. im glad that i have such a fantastic man in my life now and a wonderful daughter. good on you for over coming everything that has happened

Amanda - posted on 05/06/2009

I felt pressured all the time to have sex and my parents had one 10 min talk with us about sex and when me and my sister turned 16 my mom forced us to take birth control but didn't explain anything else to us. We, (me and my 3 siblings) had to learn what it was from school and seeing all these girls get pregnant. I will be honest and admit that when I was 13 I thought about becoming pregnant. I thought that the guy would love me forever and then I wouldn't have to live with my abusive step dad. I was living in a fantasy and I think me being 15 and losing my virginity was WAY too early for me. I thought that if I told a guy no he'd beat me up or not want to talk to me. I had very low self esteem and I just wanted to be accepted. I am glad that now I have someone that respects me and doesn't make me feel pressured. Girls and Boys need sex ed talk and I think it should come from home first.

Mel - posted on 05/06/2009

i can sort of relate to that Amanda and Jamie. I do agree though girls need to realise it is ok to say no. i used to do it because i felt pressured for a period of time and i would cry the whole time. when i was in high school 14 years old i had a guy presure me for sex for around 4 months i was still virgin and did not want to do this but evenutally to get him to leave me alone i did give him oral sex and i had no idea what i was doing as i had never done sexual things with someone before. girls do need to be taught its alright to say no and dont feel pressured into doing something you dont want to do.

Amanda - posted on 05/06/2009

Quoting Jamie:

 I also think we need to do more to promote self esteem in young girls. To let them know it is ok to say no to a partner and be comfortable with what ever rumors may start. I once had a guy spread a rumor in school that I was a slut, thing was I turned him down for sex. I didnt care, he could say what he wanted, I knew I stayed true to myself. And thats what young girls and boys need to be taught.

I had the same thing happen to me in high school with a guy that was this popular jock. I didn't want to give him oral sex so he spread rumors around the school that I was this big time slut when in actuality I was still a virgin. I didn't care what he said because, like you Jamie, I knew the truth.

Jaclyn - posted on 05/06/2009

I was 22 and married when I had my son. I don't think i was too young i wanted to be young enough to run around and play with him. I am now 26 and pregnant with twins oh and i have a 9 month old. I do think im too young to have 4 kids or maybe just a little crazy lol. Either way i would not change it i love them all and am still young enough to run around and play (when im not pregnant). But yes I do believe anything under 19-20 is too young they have not lived their life at all yet or at least not the best part.

Abby - posted on 05/06/2009

I am 20 years old right now and pregnant with my first (will be 21 three weeks after my due date). I have been with my fiance for over four years now. I feel I am a little young, but know that I have been raised by wonderful parents who have showed me responsibility and I know that I am mature enough to raise my son. On the other hand, there are plenty of people who are around my age who have no idea what taking care of a child means. At this point in my life I am ready to be a mother. I was never a person who liked to party and go out and be stupid, I liked and still do like to stay at home and be with my fiance and my family. I know there are plenty of people who would not give up the "college" lifestyle because they are pregnant/mothers, and I feel very sorry for their children. As for being a teenager and pregnant, I am torn. I have wanted a baby since I was 16, but am so glad that I am just now becoming a first time parent. I feel that at that age you are not ready for the responsibility and havent even started living your life yet. But I know there are some wonderful younger moms out there, and I do not want to put them down because of a stereotype.

Michelle - posted on 05/06/2009

i as 23 when i got pregnant with alex and 28 with lily i dont think i was too young i was 20 when we got married and taking fertility drugs to get pg with alex so both kids were well planned

Sara - posted on 05/06/2009

In addtion....I think that 16 and under is to young to have sex, however I wouldn't judge some one else for it. I was 19 when I lost mine (virginity) and sometimes wish I would have waited even longer. I was married for 2.5 years when I had my son...now we have 2 kids and have been married almost 6 years. People say we where to young to start a family. I think it truly depends on the person. I would also like to add that I will be doing everything in my power to give my kids a great education on sex ed so they know all the facts and consequences of having sex. There is so much more to worry about just getting pregnant. As long as we teach our kids about sex, and make sure they have activity's to keep them busy I hope they will do their best to wait to have sex until they are ready.

Sara - posted on 05/06/2009

I was 23 when I found out I was preg. and was a great age...as far as the kids having kids goes....One of my best friends had her son at 15 and she is the greatest mom I have ever known. I think it depends on the person and how mature they are. If my child had a baby as a teenager I would do everything I could to help them out. I think everything happens for a reason. I would help them so they could make sure to get their education.

Leslie - posted on 05/06/2009

Quoting Jamie:

Sorry I think 15 is way to young to have sex, period. Didnt you have anything better to do? Sports, school work, clubs? Why did you have to have sex at that point in your life? Because you thought you were ready? My opinions still stand, I think its down right gross for a girl under the age to have sex. I mean watch the news look at how many girsl are sending dirty text messages, and dirty pictures, do you think this is ok? If not, then why is sex ok?

I agree that having sex at fifteen and even 18 is way too young, but where are you putting resonsibiltiy on their parents. Parents have the ability to check there childrens text and pic messages, as well as facebook and myspace. My parents taught me about abstinance and birth control. They were very open and I still got pregnant at 18. If a teen or young adult is going to have sex, they are going to have sex one way or another.  Underage girls who have sex don't fully and connot fully comprehend the consequence of there actions. I have relized this recently looking back at some of my own actions.  The part of the humans brain that makes a human have an understanding for the consequences of their actions is not fully developed until age 25.  I am not saying that this is an excuse for their actions, but teens don't always fully think the consequences will actually affect them.  I hope you are not judging all mom's who got pregnant at a young age.  My friend got pregnant a 16 (she is from a broken home), finished high school with honors while working and is now in college at Southeastern Louisiana University with me.  We met at freshman oreintation at SLEU. We are both moms who got pregnant during high school, who work, and carry a 4.0 GPA. in one of the top nursing programs in the state.  So be so quick to judge.    

Leslie - posted on 05/06/2009

I got pregnant at the end of my senior year at age 18, the first time I had sex. NO JOKE. I used pretection too. I don't think I was too young in the since that I was unable to care for a child, but my life would be a lot less stressful if I had waited until after marriage and college like I originally planned. I am very lucky that the my son's father and I have a good relationship and that he is responsible. I do think a 9, 10, 11, 12,even a 20 year old is to young by todays standard. We don't live in our grandparents time. My Grandmaw told me the other day that she was pregnant with her second child of six children at 20 years old. It is hard enough for teenagers to be teenagers. There brains are not fully developed according to my Developmental Psych Text book and they have all kinds of crazy emotions going through them anyway. I know from experience.