Claire - posted on 03/22/2009 ( 17 moms have responded )
I love my husband, don't get me wrong, but since we've brown in debt together, and I've been mostly supporting ourselves and our daughter(since his unemployment ran out it's been totally up to me), for the last year, it's been increasingly harder to keep up with household expenses, and debt repayments. He has found some work shovelling snow, although that's very part time, and will be running out soon, he has helped with a couple hundred dollars here and there.
The problem is that he spends the money he earns on things he misses, like his alcohol, motorcyle, and other items that reminds him of the bachelor life that he is desperately to keep alive. Also, he'll tell vendors of these items (when he can) that he'll pay them for these things when I get paid, so then we're continually and increasingly mounting more debt to our bank and our utilities.
He gets very loud and angry when I point out this problem, and won't listen to reason. I've even left, and spent a night in the women's shelter with our daughter to show him how much I disapprove of his financial abuse. He also refuses to attend any sort of marriage or debt counselling. Otherwise, he's a great father and a great guy...
I'm at my wits end...when should I say enough is enough? What are my options? I can't kick him out, and I can't leave.