Husband doesn't want anymore kids, I do!

Lacie - posted on 10/01/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My husband says he doesn't want to have any more kids.

We have one 3 year old boy, how do I deal with this emotionally? Has anyone else gone through this? I really want to have atleast one more but hubby says no more and I'm not going to give up on my marriage for another baby I just don't know how to handle it. Any suggestions?

Please nothing negative, I love my husband and would never leave him over this I just need some emotional support.

Thank you!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sky - posted on 10/01/2009

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Well first, what are his reasons? If its money come to a compromise. If you make a certain amout of money in the future then you can have another child and such. You both need to compromise.. tell him you want 1 more.. not 5.

Brandi - posted on 10/04/2009

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Having a baby is a big decision (which i'm sure you are aware of) that both of you should agree on. I would suggest that you try to remind yourself of what a beautiful family you already have (even if you never have anymore). I would also talk with your husband again and set a date a little further into the future to discuss the subject of another baby again. He may change his mind in a year or so or maybe you will change yours. After my daughter was born, I really wanted another one when she was about 1 I waited a few months and reintroduced the idea, and he was ready to stop preventing, not quite ready to start trying. We conceived two months after that. We sorta just left it up to God. try to relax. Things change all the time and you never know what might happen down the road. My husband and I rarely close the door on anything. Encourage your husband to keep that door open. You never know what upcoming event in your lives may change your perspectives. good luck

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Tara - posted on 02/10/2011

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I am having the same issue in my house. I have twin 14 month old daighters. But my husband was married once before and has two sons (9 and 12) from that marriage. I just feel very strongly in my heart that I was meant to have another. He is 40 and says he is worried about having the energy and time for another. I do understand his point of view, but we have agreed to wait until the twins are 2 to talk about it again. I have said many times though, you never regret the kids you have (You will never look back and say, "Yeah, life would have been perfect if we wouldn't have had that last one!), but you don't want to look back one day and regret not having another.

Stifler's - posted on 02/10/2011

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My husband wants 3, I am pregnant with our second and do not want any more. I just told him I'm not having any more if this one is a girl. It's hard when you don't agree but there has to be a compromise.

Brianna - posted on 02/10/2011

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My hubby said that to.. and i said you told me before we got married that you wanted 3 or 4 just like me so how can u just change your mind now! (we even had our daughter before we were married) We had acouple fights about it.. just i new that he couldnt really feel that way.. i think he just got cold feet before because hes not really into "lil babies" but now that shes olds and plays, hugs, and starting to talk to him hes back on board with more kids.. we got pregnant in november and i lost it mid jan so now im the one thats putting off more kids cuz im terrified. What are your hubbys ressons for not wanting more?

Kelly - posted on 02/10/2011

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Do you know why your husband only wants one? Does he want more time with you? Does he not like the baby stages? Does he feel like he just wants to pour all of his time/money/support into your son? I think that if you understand the "why" behind his answer, you'll be able to make a decision that fits your family. With a baby, you have to be all in. It's hard to let go of the idea of having another baby, but just think of all the things you can do with one little boy (ie. restaurants, family vacations, museums, sports/sporting events).

Christine - posted on 02/10/2011

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our first born was in 2000 I wanted a 2ed kid for longest time hubby never wanted more I wanted at least 1 more. 2007 we had 2ed child 7 years apart its a struggle they can play together but not as much as a mom would like to see kids interacting. My advise is to let him know how set you are on having a 2ed child then explain the closer together in age the better the interaction and the lack of sleep is bulked up instead of sperad out over and repeated I forgot alot fo stuff after having first one and felt like I was having first one all over again......one day my husband came home and said lets have another....Like it just hit him...Was mad because I was working on my career but soo excited at the same time....My advice is the sooner the better and 3 years apart is great they will teach each other and be each others best friend every kid deserves a sibiling if not for the experiance alone

Kathryn - posted on 10/04/2009

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My husband and i are the same way. just sit down and talk to him. i had to explain to my husband that I PERSONALLY was not going to do ANYTHING to stop us from having another kid and if HE didnt want anymore then HE could go to the doctor and get 'snipped' needless to say he didnt. but he did get a good laugh out of it. Also we talked about the reasons for how we feel he has agreed to not stop it from happening but wasnt going to try. it is a middle ground. i think you and your husband just need to find yours.

Jaime - posted on 10/01/2009

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I am sure that you have had a sit down conversation, and you have explained your reasons, and he has explained his. Maybe the next logical step would be to babysit for a friend of yours with a baby. It could be benefitial in many ways (make him want one, or make you not want one... ) you never know! worth a shot! But it is definately a decision that you should both be ok with before it happens. i know an older couple that the lady had 2 babies after he said he was done (she sabotaged her birth control), and he always resented her, and the kids for it. Good luck!

Cristi - posted on 10/01/2009

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It depends on his reasoning for not wanting another child. I didnt want another one after my daughter was born (I have a 3 year old son and a 1 year old daughter), but my husband wanted one more. I am now 7 months pregnant. If it is because of money reason make an agreement that if u get more stable then u can have another baby. If it is because he just cant handle another child right now make an agreement that when the child is a little older that u can try and have another one. Just try and make a compromise on something, tell him that u really want one more child so that ur son can have a playmate it makes them better at social events and with other children when they go to school. Good luck to u both.

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