Husband doesnt want to take Parental leave?

Erin - posted on 02/15/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I always wanted to go back to school. While I am on my maternity leave, I will be taking correspondance refresher courses to get my grades boosted to what I need to apply for my bachelor of Science. Grade 12 classes were a little slack where I grew up, and my grades need to be higher now that its 7 years later, in a new province.
Problem is, after my Mat leave, I need to actually GO to the university to take my classes. These classes are paid for by my native band, so the money isnt an issue there. What IS an issue, is I cant afford to pay somebody to take care of my kids while I go to school. Is it wrong of me to think its selfish of my husband to not want to take Parental leave to stay at home and watch the kids for 37 weeks while I go to school? He claims he will get fired for it, not because of the parental leave, but they will find a way to "phase him out" because of it. Ive told him its illegal, and gave him all his rights, but hes insisting its a bad idea, and he refuses to budge.
I cant go to school unless I have his cooperation. What are some options you can think of?

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Carolyn - posted on 02/15/2011

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well with parental leave he loses 45 % of his income. So if you think about it, if you can manage off 55 % of his income, you should be able to afford childcare for the time you are in class.

I am sure you could find a private sitter who has an hourly rate or flexibility to allow you to save a little money when you arent in class as opposed to alot of places who get paid wether yourkdis are there or not.

He may just not want to stay home, I dont think its entirely selfish. Going to work can be a big source of pride for some people , they feel good about the work they do and providing the income for their family (men and women alike) If you push the issue , he could end up resenting you or resenting having to stay home and take care of the kids.

I guess , if he were selfish for wanting to remain at work, than same could be said for you wanting to go to school ( could be seen as a double standard) since you arent working i am going to assume while you are doing this ? so if you think about it, financially if you are getting maternity, then you get parental beneifits, however he if takes those 37 weeks parental and you dont return to work you do not receive your benefits and lose 45 % of his income. You both cant receive parental leave, its one or the other. so if you can afford to lose all your benifits and almost half of his income, you can afford childcare.

Tiffany - posted on 02/15/2011

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Depending on your monthly income, b/c you are married, I had the same issue. There are some universities that have child care allowance available especially if you have grant $ that is paying for your education. Also there are some universities that have an actual childcare facility on the premises that would be available. Hope this helps!

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