I Am A Bad Mother

Chelsea - posted on 03/06/2012

no, you are normal, plenty of woman have gone through this. sometimes like me its right at birth... my daughter hurt me soooo bad at birth, that for some reason no matter how happy i was to have her something made me feel so bad and mad and unloving.. and what its called is postpartum depression. i heard you can have it for the longest time and not know it. or if you didn't know you had depressive issues before you had your child after birth and pregnancy it gets worse then before, with out treatment. thats what my problem was, i didn't know, and i should of known, bipolar runs straight down my moms side, man they are so depressive and i never saw it till i finally realized i needed help. its not your sons fault or your own.. its just your body, your mind telling you how worthless you may be, because your probably a emotional person and when you are, your emotions react worse then a regular, just blue person. go to the doc. explain all this to them, they will help you, and try to find something suited for you. dont think its bull, except it, because you could stay like this and have this wall between your son from this day on, or have something you can depend on to make you the person you want to be. you need to work on yourself before you can make others happy, and do it now while he is still clueless, before he see's this in you and thinks you just dont like him for some reason. taking things doesn't make you a pathetic person, it actually makes you stronger, for once you will have helped your body, by listening to its cry of wanting to be the person you can be, but with just a little push. later on you can come off the help slowly and realize you can do it absolutely on your own. good luck. you are a great mom we can tell, just because you stuck a hand out for help by posting this.

Ricky - posted on 03/06/2012

Like others said. Every mother goes though times like this. I am going through this right now, there are times where I get so close to hitting him because he just pisses me off so much. (I force myself to walk away) If I do snap and yell at him (which is quite frequent lately) I call him over for a cuddle and we just cuddle until we both feel better, then I remind him how much I love him. Just keep telling him how much you love him, and if you find yourself taking frustration out on him then tell him that its not his fault and that your sorry. Just realize that no mother is perfect and that at one point we all cannot stand our children. Continue working on your problems, it will help both of you. If you have too much on your plate and have no patients or energy for him then figure out what you can drop in your life, I had to give up on having a perfect clean house so I can spend time with him when he needs it.



also make time for yourself to unwind...

Rachael - posted on 03/06/2012

If every mother was honest, after an inward glance we would all say there are times our kids drive us crazy. And that goes the same for feeling like you do not measure up as a momma. I have felt both of those feelings a lot! I am sure it is an adjustment having a child with such a different personality from yourself and partner, but remember God chose you to be this little ones parent so He knows you are a perfect match to raise him and in the future you will be a grounding force to his vibrant personality. He may be a strong willed child now, but later in life it will serve him well and he is sure to achieve great things. I would read up on some parenting techniques for outgoing children, and that will help you feel more confident for developing a lasting relationship with him. Try a local MOPs group to get him some social time with other kids and you some mommy time. I know it is hard, sometimes as women our lives can feel like they are not our own because of our responsibilities to partners, children, family, friends - but keep up the prayers and make a choice to be strong and it will all work out. I know there are a lot of times I struggle with wanting to feel more maternal feelings towards my children - I love them so much but there are days I have to choose to invest myself into their lives. I am an introvert and it sounds like you may be too, so there will definitely be times you are going to have to make yourself choose to be the momma you want to be. On a side note, make sure you are eating right. Food can throw off your blood sugar, and make you feel like crap. Eat healthy (something I have struggled with too) and you will be amazed at how much better you will feel. Much love.

Kay - posted on 03/04/2012

It's totally natural to feel this way sometimes. If you are feeling this way a lot, it could be signs of more serious issues. If you have a history of depression or other mental illnesses, motherhood can be the perfect icing on the cake to push you into an "episode" (my word for it).



To me, it sounds like you are asking an awful lot of yourself. What more does your son need than a mother that loves him and wants to teach him how to be a good person? We are all afraid that we aren't making the right decisions for our children, some more than others, I am sure.



Do you get any "mommy" time? My mommy time is typically a couple of hours with my Kindle and a moccachino from my favorite local coffee shop. But it's time without the kids that let's me recharge my batteries. If I can't do that, a bubble bath is great too!



Good luck. *hugs*

Brittney - posted on 03/04/2012

Everyone feels like you do at some time or another. I have an easy baby, no colic, is very intelligent for her age, and rarely ever wants me to play with her so I can relax. Some days, I just cannot stand her, I try my best not to get mad and yell and sometimes I end up yelling at her for just being in my way and she runs away crying...I rarely get help from her lazy daddy (who would much rather play video games than play with his daughter). I have to do everything, usually I apologize to her and explain to her why I was a meanie face and she gives me hugs and kisses.



I think the reason you don't feel you are good enough for him is because you don't feel yourself as good enough for yourself. But you are taking the first step and going to college to be able to provide a stable future. You probably get a lot of homework and stress from home doesn't help matters. Take a bath and relax, then when he is in bed for the night get some work done. If you cant finish your work while he is asleep, go to bed and wake up a little earlier than usual get more work done. It wont be easy but the results will be well worth it!