I feel horrible!

Chelsie - posted on 02/21/2012 ( 79 moms have responded )

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I have a month old daughter & I fell asleep with her on my chest & woke up with her crying on the floor.. I feel HORRIBLE! and scared to hold her cuz i feel so bad but I picked her up checked her out and she has no bumps or mark or anything but I feel so bad.. Am I a horrible mom?

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Accidents happen, they don't make you a horrible mother...but I do know how you feel and that no matter what we say you'll still feel horrible.



Personally I would go to a&e (ER in US) because just because you can't see any obvious signs of injury she could still be concussed, and she is so young. But if you want to wait for your doctor to open make sure to go even if she seems fine and in the meantime if she shows any signs of concussion: loss of consciousness, drowsiness, is unresponsive, is sick multiple times, glassy eye (loss of focus) or you are unable to settle her seek medical attention immediately.



As your little one sleeps better with you you may wish to look into safe bed sharing habits or co- sleeping options, so something like this never happens again.

Malaysia - posted on 02/28/2012

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Aww lol you are not a horrible mom. I laughed at the beginning because I did the same thing with my son when he was a little over a month old. He was really fussy and I laid him on my chest and rubbed his back to help soothe him. I was only going to keep him there until he was asleep good enough to lay in his crib and well I rested my eyes and BOOOOM! To the floor he went and boy did he cry, I think it scared him more than anything. I checked him out and no bumps or bruises so I just held and rocked him until he fell asleep but this time I sat up on the couch instead of laying on it :-). Your baby should be fine unless she fell from up really high, which I doubt since you were laying down with her. Just try not to do it again because that was just a warning of no co-sleeping. Hope this helped :-)

Bernadette - posted on 11/14/2012

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It happens. I've done it. I felt terrible but have since heard of lots of people doing it. My worst scare though was with my first child when we'd only been home from hospital a few days. I was sitting up in bed to burp her, and so she had her head on my shoulder. I was leaning against the headboard of the bed, and since I'd had a c-section had been having pain killers that made me drowsy so it was very hard to stay awake. I dropped off, and woke up God-only-knows how long after to find that when I'd fallen asleep my head had dropped to the side, and was resting very heavily on hers, pinning it to my shoulder. I panicked, thinking that I could have smothered her. Fortunately (and really only by chance, since it hadn't occured to me to check her position just in case I fell asleep) she had her head turned to the outside, and not towards my neck. If that had been the case, i'm pretty sure I would have smothered her. Needless to say, I did not continue to take the pain killers after that! I was also a lot more careful about breast feeding in bed.

Julie - posted on 03/06/2012

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Um, let's take a count ... how many moms have done something similar - ME!



No, an accident is not deliberate abuse ...



If you sense you are tired, lay down inthe middole of your bed with her on your chest again and show yourself you can do it... babies love this; I did it all the time when mine were teeny. Its a wonderful feeling for the to be close to your heart ♥

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Diana - posted on 11/12/2012

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I'm sure its happened to so many moms... Good n bad. That my dear does not make u a bad mom. I'm sure u are now taking the precautions needed.



Cheer up woman

Shanna - posted on 11/12/2012

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I know exactly how u feel just tonight I almost had a heart attack. My 5 yr old fell asleep on the couch and me and my almost two month old fell asleep on the big blanket on the floor. All of a sudden my daughter fell off the couch right onto him. Omg I feel horrible n panic mode prob take him to the er tomm just to be on the safe side.. I mean it happened so fast I'm not sure what or where she actually hit but he sure was screaming. Not for to long me and hubby checked him out didn't see anything but I'm still freaking.

Dawn - posted on 03/27/2012

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Oh hunny, you are NOT a horrible mom! Accidents happen! It's not like you just said "screw you, kid!" and tossed her on the floor. We moms get tired, and sometimes at the worst moments =/



I remember I was so sleep deprived when my son was just a few months old; he was sleeping in bed with me b/c he had a bad dream (husband was at work,) and when I woke up he had eaten a huge handful of antacids that my husband left in his reach. I felt SO awful that I called poison control in a fit of sobs, and the woman had to calm me down and tell me that he would be just fine.



It won't be the last time something like this will happen so try and embrace it the best you can. My son is almost 2, and scares the crap outta me with the stuff he does all the time, and i know it's not over =p So, I just try and make the bets of it, and be as careful as I can. Although, I know I can't keep an eagle's eye on his every single second so things are bound to happen. Just keep your chin up! You are a good mom. Don't be so down on yourself ;)



Best of luck to ya mama!

Tricia - posted on 03/15/2012

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hardly i have two kids and the same thing happened to me with my son i too felt scared but the very next night my son starting fussing to go to sleep and as soon as i put him on my chest and patted him he went to sleep we are not perfect we all make mistakes whats important is that she wasn't hurt what i did also was push my bed against the wall and piled a few pillows on the other side

Sarah - posted on 03/13/2012

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i was always told that it was bad luck if a child didn't fall out of bed in the first year. u are not a bad mother. hell, my son rolled out of bed while we were still in the hospital. stuff happens. you cant blame urself,

Tammy - posted on 03/11/2012

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All three of my kids have fallen out of bed at least once before their first birthday..... I took my oldest to the hospital because he fell off the couch and hit his head on the concrete floor and the doctor laughed at me.... No worries. Just keep an eye on her.

Saundra - posted on 03/05/2012

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You are not a horrible mom, you were exhausted. The next time you feel tired and she need that soothing lay in the bed (center). I used do this with my kids alot. If I laid on the couch I laid with them facing towards the back, so if they rolled the back would catch them.

Memorie - posted on 03/04/2012

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Dont worry it happens more than you think!! I have a toddler and a 2 month old. My husband fell asleep with her on his chest and she fell onto the floor and it freaked me out...I think I cried more than she did, but I guess it happens with parents a lot. Just try to be more careful. Accidents happen :] Doesnt make you a bad mom.

Amber - posted on 03/04/2012

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No ur not a horrible mom.its hard at first,but being a new mom will take time to adjust to.but im glad she is ok

Tiffany - posted on 03/01/2012

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NO! If she stops crying she is cool, if she continues to cry take her to the er and be honest about what happened!

Antoinette - posted on 02/29/2012

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Post a reply!no ur a exhausted mom. It happened 2 me alsp. Now he's a healthy happy 6 year old boy.

Gloria - posted on 02/29/2012

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your not a horible mom. these things happen. Just make sure you are fully alert when you are holding your baby. If you are some1 that isnt going to notic when your bay moves on your hst while your slepping thn you should la her down if you think you might fall asleep.

TAMIKA - posted on 02/28/2012

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No your not a bad mom! trust me this happens to a lot of moms heck dads too, when my son was a couple of months this happen also but it was him falling out the bed. Your daughter still loves you :) don't stress about it

Marissa - posted on 02/28/2012

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I fell asleep holding my daughter when she was 3 wks old, she rolled off of me, hit my night stand and then landed on a hard wood floor. She was wearing only a diaper. It made me so sick i felt like i had been the one to hit the floor when i finally came to and realized what happened. DO NOT be hard on yourself. Things happen and the dr in the ER told me that babies are more durable then people think and they bounce. Now I know he only said that because he could tell i was in distress over it all I was literally shaking so bad i was making myself vomit, but regardless. Things happen and at times they make us feel like we are horrible mothers but you are not. You are not the first and you wont be the last that this happens to. I will agree though bring her or him to the doctor just be sure :) it will put you at ease as well. good luck and congrats on your new baby.

Morgan - posted on 02/28/2012

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No, honey, you're a normal, exhausted mom.

Don't beat yourself up over the little things, and forgive yourself enough to fall asleep with her on your chest again. That only last for a few months, then they're mobile and don't want to cuddle! Just, you know, put a blanket on the floor next time. :)

Tonya - posted on 02/28/2012

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my daugther rolled off the bed when she was just under a year old, both times while she was sleeping with me and fiancee was gone. i felt awful because she would sleep with him and not do it. she would just wake up and i wouldn't feel her moving and off she would go. she couldn't even crawl or anything then, but she was alright and i eventually realized it happens to just about every one.

Tracy - posted on 02/28/2012

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First of all-no, you are not a horrible mom! You are tired and chances are, you were trying to get some closeness in with some extra z's. Things do happen. When I had my daughter, I was sooooo tired that I once fell asleep and accidentally dropped the tv remote on her head. Doesn't sounds as bad but I can still hear the sound it made and I remember her crying. The good news is that she will not remember because she is so young. Just make sure that you watch her closely- if there is anything that does not look normal, please bring her to the Pediatrician just to make sure she's ok. I always felt that I'd rather pay the copay and have my child be ok rather than not checking and having something worse. The other thing I suggest is to find a safe, secure place to be able to nap with your baby. I used to go to my bed and surround us on both sides with pillows. That way, if the baby rolled off of me, they would only go so far and be safe. I also used to have them sleep in the crook of my arm rather than on me.

Again, don't feel bad. It takes time to know how to be a mom and you'll get there!

Bailey - posted on 02/28/2012

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NO! We are the heroes of the world young mother, and even heroes make mistakes. I had the same thing happen and I cried for 2 days... Don't let it make you think badly of yourself or question your ability to be a good mother... Keep your beautiful head up and don't be so hard on you. =:)

Lexi - posted on 02/28/2012

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oh honey you're not horrible. You got your warning to be a bit more careful that's all. I think every mom goes through something like this. My 1st son squirmed out of my arms at two months old, as I was leaning over to hand him to someone. He fell and landed on the carpet screaming. With my second, I laid him on the couch sound asleep at 1 month old. I walked 10 feet away to pull the laundry out of the dryer so I could sit next to him and fold it. Somehow he woke up and managed to slide off the couch in those few seconds and land on our concrete floor. I took him to the er cuz our floor is so hard and he was so little but he was fine. Not even a mark on him. I co sleep and if I'm going to let myself fall asleep with him on my chest, I make sure I'm closer to the middle of the bed. That way if my arms loosen up he just snuggles in next to me instead of going off the edge. Usually he just sleeps next to me though and I sleep on my side snuggled up to him. I am sure you are a good momma. The fact that you feel "momma guilt" proves it. No one is perfect and it sounds like your baby is no worse for the wear. *hugs*

**Jackie** - posted on 02/28/2012

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NO! you are not a horrible mom! A horrible mom would've said "oopsies" and continued on her day. You checked her out and you are asking for help. It happens.



I was so scared of this happening to me when my daughter was born that I often made a bed on the floor with some pillows and slept with her on my chest. Not comfortable but at least it's sleep.

Kelly - posted on 02/28/2012

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no it happens it's a good wake up call, just learn from ur mistake we all make them ur not a horrible mom

Charmaine - posted on 02/28/2012

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No, First time mothers always need to learn from their mistakes . Now you know you will not do it again. Thank God you baby is fine. My opinion!

Kenisha - posted on 02/27/2012

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i totally understand how u feel i happened 2 me as well except i felt so bad i couldnt sleep for the whole night its quiet ok as long as the baby isnt hurt

Amber - posted on 02/27/2012

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no u are not a horrible mom!! things do happen and she was fine!! you can't allow this to effect u negatively!! next time put a pillow on the floor next to you so in case that happens. i did that every time i would lay on the couch with my son on my chest it does give a little peace of mind!!

Annabel - posted on 02/27/2012

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You are the best Mom your child will ever have.my daughter slipped from my hands as i was asleep when she was 3weeks but never got hurt i called my pediatrician and she told me to observe her but she also assured that the kid was okay .When babies are small they don't bump n if it wasn't a hard fall might be she wasn't hurt.Pick up and know that we're not perfect and many more will happen and you need to be strong.Al the best and kisses to your Angel.

Becky - posted on 02/27/2012

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When my little ones wouldn't sleep without being held I placed them in a cradle swing. It would gently swing them for about 45 minutes, long enough for them to fall asleep. It was a godsend. You need more sleep. Try to take naps when you can and if necessary, call on a friend, hubby or relative to watch your little one while you take a good long nap. Grandma's would love to have the chance to help!

Irene - posted on 02/27/2012

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that was just an accident don't feel horrible just make sure you take her to the hospital to make sure she was not hurt but then make sure you never sleep with her on your chest.

Heather - posted on 02/27/2012

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A friend of mine suggested i put my baby in his car seat on top of the washing machine during the spin cycle and let the vibrations put him to sleep. My washer was in my kitchen only a few feet away from my sink so i decided to get some dishes done while he was enjoying his ride. Needless to say, he fell off! I felt like the worst mom ever! I thought i had damaged him for life. But he was fine other than a small cut on his temple (he still has the scar). Hes now 12yrs old and at the top of his class. He easily reads a 400page novel in a day. So apparently babies are built to with stand some of these accidents and it made me more aware and careful with him. We all make mistakes especially when your so sleep depribed and desperate for a few zzz's.

Sarah - posted on 02/26/2012

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Get a safe baby carrier like a wrap woven or stretchy or a ring sling there are lots of instructions and youtube videos to help you learn to use them "right".... if they get their snuggles while you work (woven wraps back carries are great for this) they are more likely to let you set them nearby to sleep for bedtime. Also my daughter(2 of 3 so far) would not sleep for more than 1 1/2 hours anywhere but on me until I got some nice wool to lay her head on wool fabric....Wool and sheepskin are SPENDY so check a local thrift shop for wool, mohair, cashmere, lambswool sweaters or dresses and you can make a sheet cover it is warmer than cold cotton sheets and very very soft to the touch and somehow soothing to them :) If you will co sleep often please think of looking into co-sleepers or other solutions like putting a foam mattress pad or thin futon down and sleeping on the floor ~think 2or 3" to fall VS several feet for a traditional mattress and box springs and frame and all and if they fall asleep on the foam pad /futon you could go back to bed and it may work out too :)

Leah - posted on 02/26/2012

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just from you worrying so much we can tell your not a horrible mom. i've fallen asleep with my kids on my chest before. i'd always lay down with them on my bed so if i did fall asleep and they moved or i dropped them they'd go on the bed. i believe that our kids dont remember being babies for a reason, and thats one of them. sure you will remember it and you will probably think about it often and feel bad, i know i still do about some stuff, but they wont think differently of you about it, and they wont be traumatized by it

I Love My Kids - posted on 02/26/2012

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My daughter was a preemie and hated her bassinet at first cuz I guess it wasn't soft so I folded a pillow and put it in ther and she slept better and she is also would sleep on her nippy on my bed of course me waking up every so often watching her and she would sleep that way CID she was comfortable and propped up u might try that

Liz - posted on 02/26/2012

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It happened to me when mine was 2 months old I cried so hard and called the doctor. She assured me it happens all the time. But she had me take him to the childrens hospital where they did an mri and he was fine and he hit hard tile. Good luck I felt horrible as well but it will be ok.

Sarah - posted on 02/26/2012

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No you are over tired. Is it a good idea to fall asleep with a little one on you? No, but many of us have. Thankfully she is ok. The big thing to remember is it was an accident and to take precautions from now on like drink water while nursing her or watch tv. If you feel you are too drowsy put her in her swing or bed. You will get through it and so will she. Forgive yourself momma you are not alone!

Jessie - posted on 02/26/2012

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Don't feel bad. You are a sleep deprived mama. I actually did that with my middle daughter who turned 3 today when she was 4 days old. But when I woke up I found her sound asleep on the floor. She had rolled off and never woke up. Haha. It sounds awful and that is by far the biggest regret but it's so hard when you are going on days and days with zero sleep.

[deleted account]

You're not a horrible mom I have a one month old too and I'm guilty of falling asleep with my daughter and catching myself .. it happens the main thing is that she's okay! Don't beat yourself up about it!

Rachel - posted on 02/26/2012

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Don't beat yourself up over this, accidents happen you didn't intentional hurt your baby, but now you know how it easy it is just be a little more careful. We have ALL done something that we shouldn't and scared our selves into fearing everything we do as new mums, I have a 3 year old and just found out that I am expecting again and just as scared as the 1st time round. If it still plays on you then take her to be check just for peace of mind. xx Chin up. :-)

Clarissa - posted on 02/26/2012

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I remember when that happened to me with my first child. I also felt like a monster.

By all means bond with your baby but don't risk falling asleep again. You could suffocate her. Next time she falls off, it could cost her a broken arm or leg if you are lucky.

Rather place her in her cot next to your bed if you are sleepy. Learn from this. I did.

Heather - posted on 02/26/2012

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You're not a horrible mom, and in fact, because you feel so horrible about it, proves that your not a horrible mom. I did this right after having my third child, and I was shaking and crying so uncontrollably it was pathetic. Everyone does something they wish they could erase or rewind and never do.

Kat - posted on 02/25/2012

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No way.

When I was in hospital with my son I put him on my chest and fell asleep aswell. Woke up and he was on the floor too!!

You do feel horrible but its not the end of the world. Your baby is fine and healthy. I even felt bad for forgetting to give him a kiss and cuddle befor naps lol.

In my opinion your emotions and hormones are still scattered from giving birth, so thats why you feel the way you do.

Joanna - posted on 02/24/2012

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No - not at all! You are just exhausted most likely - everyone tells you how tired you are gonna be with a newborn - but you really don't know until the baby is born how terribly exhausted you are b/c of all the feedings and diaper changes every 2 -3 hours. And if you have no help or you are a single parent - then as awful as this experience was for the baby and you - this kind of thing can happen. Don't be so hard on yourself - just be grateful the baby was not hurt, maybe take her for a checkup and explain what happened. And if you are that tired maybe feed her in a boppy or something like it - so as not to have this happen again. If it makes you feel any better - when my son was 6 months I put him on the bed for a second sitting up and turned around for one second and he had fallen onto the floor by that point and hit his head on my end table - I freaked out and brought him to the doctor, but I felt so extremely guilty.

Chelsie - posted on 02/23/2012

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she is fine no bumps or anything.. i still feel bad for what happend & haven't had her fall asleep on my chest any more..

Suzanne - posted on 02/23/2012

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Please don't feel horrible. The first month of having a baby is so overwhelming. My daughter slept on my chest for the first 5 weeks, otherwise she wouldn't sleep. You didn't do anything wrong, it's normal and everyone experiences it at one time or another.

Audra - posted on 02/23/2012

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Of course you're not a horrible mom. I think you'd be surprised at how many of us have done this. I think babies are built tougher than we think---I mean, their survival depends on over-tired, unknowing, first-time (at some point) parents. I know how you feel---my 6-month-old just fell off of my bed for the first time. My first baby never did, and when I heard the thud I let out an audible 'NO!' because I knew what had happened. Make sure your daughter is OK, and when it comes to how you feel about it happening, just give yourself a couple of days. You're her mom...you love her...you feel directly responsible for her 'getting hurt'...I understand. My son was smiling at me within minutes of falling and crying...they bounce back, and you will too.

Courtney - posted on 02/23/2012

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Your not a bad mom but accidents happen. To be on the safe side I would get her check out. So please be careful ma'am your a good mother if you bad about it.

Yurena - posted on 02/23/2012

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If you want her sleeping on you try sitting laying back in the middle of your bed so if you fall asleep she'll roll onto it. Also if you have a heavy sleep better put her on the cot - in the long run much better to get her happy sleeping on her own and avoid struggling to settle down on her own a few months down the line. Babies are very resilient so I imagine she didn't get hurt really, maybe just a bad scare for you both. xxx

Erin - posted on 02/23/2012

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no honey, you're not. accidents happen. just be careful and use what happened this time for next time. i know it's sweet and a good bonding time to cuddle with babies in our beds.....but when you feel you're getting ready to doze off.....wake yourself up and put the baby in her bed. and if she ever falls again....maybe take her to the dr to get checked out.

Bernadette - posted on 02/23/2012

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I agree with Crystal - the fact that you care enough to even be asking this question shows that you are a good mother. A bad mother wouldn't care. I see a lot of posts on here where people ask "does this make me a bad mother?" If you care about being a bad mother, and look for advice on how to be a better mother, then you definitely aren't a bad mother, just a "still learning" one. Unfortunately, you can't really learn how to be a parent before becoming one, and then you just have to learn as you go. Part of this means making mistakes or having accidents. It's the ones that don't learn from them, and take precautions to prevent future accidents that are the bad parents.

Crystal - posted on 02/23/2012

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I did this not once, but twice, when my daughter was that age. I was discharged with more meds thank my small body could handle. I cried for days on the inside until she was 6 months. Her doctor said she was fine but I felt guilty and wondered if mentally I had harmed her. To date, I still worrt but 2 & 1/2 year old rivals any 4 year old mentally. Good luck and best wishes. You are a good mother because it bothers you and you are having her taken care of!

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