I feel like im a single mother when it comes to daddy and the x-box

Dana - posted on 03/02/2010

i would simply say family should be put first...Yeah its ok at times to have time to yourself, but your baby needs her dad and mom.....you cant take everything on by yourself, but i'm sure you will try when it comes to your daughters needs..

Annette - posted on 03/02/2010

He does work and support us to

Annette - posted on 03/02/2010

Sometimes I feel like a world of warcraft widow becasue my husband is on it all day long sometimes, but when I do ask him to help he will sometimes, but others I do it my slef. but see I was raised doings things my self so i guess I'm just that way. But darn it I need mommy time to

Samantha - posted on 03/02/2010

When he is out hide the controllers or even the whole system hand him bubs and go for a coffee. When his attitude improves give it back to hoim for set amounts of time until he can learn to do it himself. If he wants to behave like a child. Treat him like one.

Amanda - posted on 03/01/2010

i can completly see it with me and my partner but i cant complain because he does support us i tink its just an exscap for them like a stress relief in a way thats why my partner play his computer games for a while but when dinner is ready i tell him to hop off it he usally does..... just talk to him and set some bounderies that ur both happy with :)

Mindi - posted on 03/01/2010

mothers of the world should unite and ban xbox360's along with other game consoles. my so is the same way. he works all day and i'm very grateful to have so much time with my son. he helps me but i do most of the caring for our child. i do everything else too. i cook,clean,do laundry. all of it. when he's on xbox360 especially when he's talking to his friends on the headset i don't exsist. i feel left out. i'm glad he pays attention to our son but i just wish he'd make more time for me and for our family as a whole. you should talk to him and tell him how you feel about his affair with the xbox. lol. good luck. i know exactly how you feel and so do other moms. so i feel less lonely knowing i'm not the only one. i know he will interact with our son more when he can talk and gets bigger. i guess it's harder for men to bond with babies and know what they need. i don't ask him for help much so maybe that's why i don't get much help. he's a good father and a good bf so i'm not going to leave just because he plays games alot. i'd rather him be at home then out at bars or cheating.

Melissa - posted on 03/01/2010

oh yeah...my hubby has a x-box and a ps3 but he had to get rid of the wii, the game me and my son and friends would play, pissed me off.

Amanda - posted on 03/01/2010

hey hun, i know how you feel. My hubby is on the PS3 ALL DAY! well when he's not sleeping all day.

Melissa - posted on 03/01/2010

I know how that feels, It will come kick him in the ass one day!!! I did the same things for the first two years. When my son was almost 1, I went to the hospital because of not getting any sleep and I was there for about a month, and when I came home he was more helpful than ever. Plus on top of that I was always dealing with bad migranes and then I was told just last August that I have MS, but they did tell me how it all started.... but if you think about it having headaches and not sleeping all are symptoms of MS. I dont want to scare you but, thats the way it could turn out, and then he will have to take care of both of you, and then what will he do....my husband is the same way. From the time he wakes up, to the time he goes to bed, he's on the x-box

Andi - posted on 03/01/2010

I know the feeling! And it's not just when he's playing video games. It's also when we go to family gatherings. He goes off and talks to his family while I'm left chasing after an 18 month old, trying to keep him out of things he shouldn't be in while I'm getting ready to have baby number 2 in about a month. Then he wonders why I'm crabby and want to go home. lol He threw a fit once because I had him change a diaper and he tried pushing it off on his mom to do. I'm not sure what changed him but he watched him one day when I went out with a friend all day. I felt kind of guilty, but I haven't spent a day without either of them since my son was born and I felt like I deserved a day away. Anyway, the last family gathering we went to, he actually watched him and chased him around keeping him out of things.



Do yourself a favor and sit down and have a serious talk about him helping you out and talk about maybe him only playing games while your child is in bed for the night. It's not like you're asking him to do it all, you're just asking him to take initiative and change a diaper here and there and prepare a meal, or do dishes or even a load of laundry. He doesn't have to do it all; a little help goes a long way.

Kyla - posted on 03/01/2010

Rachel Bullock ...All I can say is that I hate Call of Duty Modern Warfare! Every waking moment is spent on that game when he is not working.

this is exactly how i feel rachel all i can say is very well put

Kyla - posted on 03/01/2010

i so understand where you are coming from my other half is on his x-box all day and night playing cod on line and it makes me mad when he does not help when i need him most and when he does help he trys to tell me what our daughter needs when she crys and it will be the total oppeset that she needs. it is hard let me tell you but us mommys are strong and we can do it all by our selfs. like my friends say i had to grow like ten more arms just to do everything that a family needs done. we are super moms...and you have all rights to tell him that he needs to help you more then mabey you will take his input on things to do with your little one

Heather - posted on 03/01/2010

I swear Modern Warfare 2 is the mistress in our relationship. Our son is only 6 months old and he already knows how to properly hold an xbox controller. Seriously? His daddy has even started giving him bottles while still playing the game. I gotta admit - the multitasking takes talent. But I feel like it takes away from the quality time they could be spending with each other. And when his first words are "Bull s**t!", that's when I draw the line. Silly men. Can't live with them; afraid to live without them.

Breana - posted on 03/01/2010

I know how you feel. This is what I do with my husband. He works nights I work days.. we have to split duties. Well, when he comes home from work he needs a little wind down time on x-box. I let him have a little wind down time then he knows it's us time. You just need to be open to talking to him about how you feel. Don't take that personal time away from him completely, see if you can do something like we did? hope you get it figured out!

Briana - posted on 03/01/2010

you are def. not the only one! my husband does the same thing! i have to do everything! sometimes i just get so stressed i cry! and he still plays, we fight about it all the time but it doesn't ever change!

Aleashia - posted on 03/01/2010

You really cannot sugar coat anything with men.If you are angry about something don't act like you aren't,don't back down if it's something you feel that strongly about,or they will walk all over you.Pick and choose your battles,but if this is a huge for you and your relationship then you have to put it all out on the table! Personally my boyfriends time with the xbox is not an issue for me,he works and helps with the kids so i don't care if he want's a few hours of Halo 3 i even play sometimes, but priorities can get mixed up sometimes and they need to be reminded whats important and what can wait till the kids are asleep.

Sherry - posted on 03/01/2010

i can relate to your situation completely my child's father was like that all he used to do was smoke up all the time play street hockey ,and video games with his friends so i never seen him bearly at all ,and when i tried to talk to him about it he would get up set and beat me up ,and since i felt like a single mother so much i became one i got sick of it all and left him,and i've been a single mother since although he is supposely not the same person when we were dating i get along with him due to our child, but i can't truely forgive him for the way he treated me for so many years.

i hope my story has put somethings in prospective for you.

best of luck!

Melissa - posted on 03/01/2010

I'm with you guys. My man will play Madden all day if I let him. I HATE Madden!!! But we've made a deal he can play one game then it's fam time. So that helps and I started asking him to do thing rather than telling him and that seems to work better.

Melissa - posted on 03/01/2010

I'm with you guys. My man will play Madden all day if I let him. I HATE Madden!!! But we've made a deal he can play one game then it's fam time. So that helps and I started asking him to do thing rather than telling him and that seems to work better.

Vicky - posted on 03/01/2010

thats soo true wut ithink i should do i do i dont think wut he has to say at all

Vicky - posted on 03/01/2010

i now how you all feel my boyfriend is all ways out the only time my kids see him is when he goes to bed. i never really see him only for like two hr of the day he is allways outside doing wut ever her whant are he is ski dooing iam better off being a single mom.

Rebecca - posted on 03/01/2010

My husband has always been an xbox addict and nothing really changed when our son was born. I was pretty much doing everything until one day when I'd just had enough. My husband was on the lounge playing xbox and I was trying to settle a screaming baby. I walked in front of him, put our son on his lap and walked away saying 'it's your turn!'. Within a few minutes he had our son settled AND asleep in his arms and was still playing xbox. It just proves that there are things they can do to help that doesn't interrupt their precious xbox time. Now that my son is older (18 months) my husband gives him a controller (without the battery pack) and he sits on the lounge with his dad and 'plays' too.



After realizing that there were so many 'Xbox Widows' out there, some friends and I started a Facebook group just for fun called Xbox Widows Support Group.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=32...

Julz - posted on 03/01/2010

also just to add, I stopped begging etc - I simply said "do you want to bath Jes or do the dishes?" or "do you want to stelize the bottles or feed the animals?"

I think this worked in the way that doing nothing wasn't an option and he got to choose out of the two - instead of me just saying "go bath the baby".

I think before baby cames along, a lot of woman are happy to do a lot around the house etc - but having a baby is a partnership and it takes some time getting used to.

Your partner will do what you allow him too, he either wants to be apart of it or he doesn't and if he doesn't THERES THE DOOR.

Julz - posted on 03/01/2010

we have a rule in our house, he gets home from work and I have dinner made (he gets home at the time we feed our 2 year old so this just makes sense), he baths our son whilst I do the dishes, we then put him to bed - this whole process with some play inbetween takes about 2 hours.



Then once our son is in bed, it is now our chance to unwind any way we want to - either together or not (he may play his fave computer games whilst I watch a favorite TV show).



In the beginning, I was doing everything and instead of us both relaxing at about 7pm - I was still doing dishes and sterilizing bottles at 10pm!! I pretty much told him he either be apart of it or f**k off - he now enjoys his time with our son and we are expecting baby number two in June.



On another note, on weekends he sleeps in (I'm an early riser so this makes sense) but he is happy to look after our son in the afternoon if I need to have a nanna nap.



You have to set the standard for him and be a bitch if you have too - it soon becames something they do without asking. I am so glad I did - because I was becoming resentful and was thinking of leaving him.



We are now a very happy family, good luck xoxox

Carol - posted on 03/01/2010

Seriously if I was in any of your situations, I would pack up and leave. Playing on any gaming machine instead of spending time with his beautiful family is disrespectful in any means. You and your child deserve better. Wheather you both made the decision to bring a child into this world or you became pregnant by lack of contraception is not the point, he has responsibilities. They all sound like a waste of space and you are much better being solo mums. No matter how much you love him you have got the think of the future and you and your child happiness, tell him "if your not willing to participate in raising your son/daughter then I am not willing to participate in this relationship!!"

Jennifer - posted on 03/01/2010

I have the same problem! My husband has always been into video games and now it isn't SO bad because he plays them with our 9 yr old son but he NEVER helps! He says that he is helping by playing games with our son. WHATEVER! We have 2 younger kids and 2 dogs!!! My sister in law has the same problem with her man. He plays the wii constantly! I don't know why men do that but I'm personally getting to the point where I am going to play HIS momma and ground him or something!!! lol

Christy - posted on 03/01/2010

Okay I didn't read every post so I'm not sure if this has come up yet, but I think what he's doing is what I like to call the "excuse method". My baby boy was born and it was wonderful for the first week! Daddy and mommy time, daddy and baby time, all three of us time, just wonderful! Then when he started to go to work it changed. I think this is because most men who work don't know what it's like to be the mom. And why should they? We as moms have more of a desire to take care of the children than men. (most men I should say, not all!) So in my opinion men make excuses as to why they can't help take care of the baby. The one I get the most is "I don't know what he wants!" Well duh! Join the club! So instead of trying to take care of my lil man, he does other things to busy himself. Xbox being the big one! But there are other things. The computer, going to sleep, watching tv, etc. I've talked and asked and cried and all kinds of things. Gotten promises and nothing's changed. I really do think it isn't because he doesn't care, I think it's because he's scared. You have the power of persuasion so do a lil flirtin and see where it gets you. Offer something to him for some me time. I know it sounds bad, but if he just does some things like change diapers and fix bottles and sees that he CAN do these things and that he is able to take care of the baby, then he will get a confidence boost. Then as he becomes more confident he might actually volunteer to do things. It worked for me and I sure hope it works for you!



Then again I have been told by so many people that I'm selfish for wanting my hubby to help. I've been told that they can't take care of babies until they're older. I don't agree...

Rachel - posted on 03/01/2010

All I can say is that I hate Call of Duty Modern Warfare! Every waking moment is spent on that game when he is not working.

Antawnia - posted on 03/01/2010

I can understand that b/c my husband plays on his PS3 all night when I get home from work. He feels b/c he gets home 2 hours before me from work that he is entitled to the rest of the night off. I do get mad sometimes, I would like some time to relax after work too! But, I do enjoy playing with my daughter and I think about what he is missing and what I am not, and it makes me feel better.

Ashley - posted on 03/01/2010

lol My husband is the same way and to make matters worse the child is my step-son and Im always hearing thats his son and Im not his mother from everyone but yet Im expected to deal with the child while dads on the box

Annie - posted on 03/01/2010

my husband use to be like that with the computer i locked it up and told him it wouldnt come out until he got his priorities straight that until he could help and spend time with his kids it would not come out and if he didnt like it since i was already doing it by myself i told him " there is the door dont let it hit him in the rear end on the way out" hang in there girl you can do it.

Miranda - posted on 03/01/2010

I have that problem too but instead of x-box it's online poker:(

Sarah - posted on 03/01/2010

I hate whoever invented Call of Duty!! As I'm typing this now my boyfriends been playing all morning, and I'm dealing with a teething child. I know your stress!!

Sarah - posted on 03/01/2010

I get the, "you'd just feel better if you'd play these games. I dont understand why you are against it all the time. its just for fun..."We have two kids, and one on the way and I feel like I have 4 children with my husband!! My husband plays that stupid Call of Duty game or Halo online all hours of the night when he gets home from work! I clean and cook and take care of kids, which doesnt bother me, but when the help is there, and is just lazy, it gets frustrating. He's also got our 2 year old playing some of the games too! I dont think my 2 year old son should be allowed to play Modern Warfare or Call of Duty (even though dad was in the Army and did it for a living) but it causes an arguement, so I just tell my son its just a game and dont let him play while dad's at work. Good to know I'm not the only one in the xbox battle with your spouse!

Brianna - posted on 03/01/2010

Don't worry your not alone, I totally understand how you feel! My hubby works really hard all day to support me and our baby but then a lot of times he comes home and wants to play xbox360 all night long! BUT this is what I did, I made him sit down and talk to me. I told him how I feel and that I don't mind if he plays as long as it is limited and not ALL the TIME! So we made a deal, He gets 1 hour everyday when he gets home from work, with out any complaining from me, then if I need help with something he helps, then he takes the baby for 1 hour so I can get in some "ME TIME", then we all do something together ( dinner, movie, a game, or just hang out in the same room) . On weekends He gets One day to play as long and as much as he wants and then one day for anything I want to do, or that we can do as a family. It's really pretty flexible but the point is that we understand what each other wants. Truth is? When he gets to play he is a lot happier and more relaxed. Video games are a stress reducer, and guys need that time to wind everything together at the end of their day and "come back to earth" haha good luck!

LeeAnne - posted on 03/01/2010

girls listen all you have to do is pack your stuff and the baby up and go stay with a family member for a couple of days or even 1 week it will change him I promise you. I had to do it and now when he gets off work he takes her. I am a stay at home mom and it gets stressful when you have stuff to do and baby crying and he dont do anything but sit down or lay down so I packed my stuff and left and that night he called me and he changed that quick

Lisa - posted on 03/01/2010

At least your hubbys work...my hubby is unemployed and loves to play call of duty on his playstation 3 all the time and gets really pissed off when our 8 week old baby is crying while he is playing and when I leave to go run some errands and leave her with him he puts her in the crib upstairs and lets her cry..I was planning on going back to work after I had her and he was suppose to watch her while I was at work but now I am afraid to leave her alone with him...and if that isn't bad enough he tells me that he never wanted to have another kid ... a lot of the times I feel like I am a single mom..I just want to break his playstation but that will probably only get him pissed off and he would go and buy another one

Felicia - posted on 03/01/2010

I completly understand where you are coming from. I was married at 19 and we had our son shortly after I turned 20. Even then my husband was addicted to the computer playing World of Warcraft. After about a year, I couldn't handle the stress from working and coming home to have to tend to the baby plus all the house work while he stayed at home 24/7 on the computer. I finally packed the baby and my belongings up and left him for about a week. It gave him a real good reality check. There was some changes after I came back but it took time. Now after 4 years, he works and supports the family while I stay home with the child. He also waits till after dinner and we have our family time before he gets on the computer. We had our fights over this so many times but in the end it was important to me that we was a family and we should act like one. I was once told that if it is something that you strongly believe in then fight till the end.



Im not goin to say that I dont play on the computer or even games online but as being a parent you have to discipline yourself. I play WOW and the other games systems as well but I make sure that its after all the house work is done and my child is takin care of. One thing that helped us was finding something that we could do together that we both liked doing such as playing games on the computer. Now I play WOW with him but that gives us both relax time and time together after the kid has went to bed. Communication and Compromising is two of the most important factors in making a relationship work as well as the trust and love.

Amber - posted on 03/01/2010

The best thing you can do is talk to him about how you feel about the situation. Personally, both my husband and I play XBOX. I sometimes play even more than him! The best thing about it is that we can play together and spend time together. Maybe you should try playing too. You just might like it and if you start spending as much time as him on there he might start realizing just how much time hes spending on there as well.

Angela - posted on 03/01/2010

so glad it's not just me. getting really irritated with the computer games. good luck. we live in hope. x

Erin - posted on 03/01/2010

I know how you feel... but I try not to give my husband a hard time because he works 14-15 hr days to support me and our little one. So when it comes to him being home... I let him relax... but i still give him a chose... like you want to feed him or change him... we always change the little one before we feed so, i always make him do one or the other...he might try to put it on hold alittle to get to a save point in the game... (which the baby might cry some... but he does it) If he has to save the game... i usually go a head make the bottle and change the little one.. so he is ready for my husband.

Brittany - posted on 03/01/2010

i told my bf from the begining that we will never own any game system in my house for that exact reason. i dnt want him nor my kids always playing on it. so if i was u i wld take it away from him for like a day and b like i didnt make this baby on my own. so help.

LeeAnne - posted on 03/01/2010

Well what I did was tell him that you cant do it alone if he dont start helping you will leave with the baby until he can figure out what he needs to do

Abbey - posted on 03/01/2010

I know what you are going through as well!! But it is Facebook with my husband.. I take our son to work, change his diapers all day long, come home feed him dinner make my husband dinner, bath our son, put our son to bed and it starts all over again. All while my husband works in the same office as I do so he is around are son all day but would never offer to change a diaper, we go home from the office he goes down and sits in the lazy boy, turns on the computer and watches sports... he waits for me to call him for dinner and then he goes right back downstairs. After I put our son to bed and I finally come downstairs after making lumchs for the next day he says "Oh did Ryder go to bed already?" Yes you idiot!! (thats what happend for the first 9 months) So one day I planned a day out with a couple of girls.. we did breakfast, the spa, dinner, and a couple of drinks. I wrote Ryders schedule out for my husband and told him I was gone for the day. As hard as it was to leave I knew I had to or he would never step up to the role of a father. He did fine, our house was a mess but at least he finally found out what I do everyday. He was so tired that night he was sleeping on the couch at 8:45pm!! So my advise to you is go out with your friends and go shopping or even out for lunch and maybe a manicure or something and leave your baby with him all day. He will figure out what to do and maybe he will then realize what you do everyday. Good luck!!

Dennette - posted on 03/01/2010

You just have to put your foot down, and let him know that you and the kids do exist. The Xbox can be shut off/ paused, but not you and your kids lives do. My hubby works during the day, comes home then I have to leave for work, but he doesn't turn the Xbox on until after he puts the kids to bed. That's his "game time". So maybe that can be an option your man can do.

Deanna - posted on 03/01/2010

I feel the exact same way. My kid's dad was laid off for almost a year and that was all he did was play his x-box. It is not been so bad since he has went back to work what he is still on it quite a bit.I feel for ya cuz it is extremely frustrating.

Karen - posted on 03/01/2010

wow i feel the same way. daddy comes home from work and sits in front of the tv either playing x-box or watching tv. I take care of the little one all day and i still dont get help when he comes home.

Yolande - posted on 03/01/2010

Mine was addicted to World of Warcraf as well but i set some boundaries on how long, how much and what times and now he knows if he doesnt follow, he'll have to choose. I dont think im being unreasonable as it is just as much of a responsibilty to him as to me. Occassionaly when both kids are sleeping i even play with him and we enjoy it. But too much is too much

Pamela - posted on 03/01/2010

Well Itried the whole.. im having a night to myself. But that didnt work. he calls and text me the whole time.. when you coming home.. baby wont stop crying.. what do I do. ect ect.. arrrrgggg. I just hate it.

Jessica - posted on 03/01/2010

my honey plays on PS3 and the computer. he dont care but when the kids want him. they just get in this lap and start messing with the computer or the controler for daddy to say hi or hold on. then he gets off and i can get so relax. i work overnights and he dont work so i am on in the monring b4 the kids r awake.