i guess im asking does your va ja ja ever go back to normal..and sex too??

Julie - posted on 06/10/2010

well, mine is 4months, and it still hurts! it was defianlty way better before birth. maybe it has to do with 34 hours of labor, over 4 hours of pushing, an episiotomy AND a tare, and then the vacuum extraction! OR maybe its bc my hubby's penis is just really big, and Vajayjay just can't take anymore abuse! LOL

Charlie - posted on 06/09/2010

Do your kegals , like anything else in the body you need to workout to get your body back to normal , IT WILL HAPPEN , you also need to let your body recover , if you want an extra workout for your vagina kegals during sex is not only a great way to do so , it can make sex for you and your partner feel GREAT and that goes for women regardless of whether they have given birth or not .

Fortunately the vaginal walls are quiet elastic and were built for giving birth , if you need more of an exercise you can buy weighted balls to hold inside for increasing periods of time , these to will help get your vaginal muscles back to normal if not tighter than before !

Rebecca - posted on 06/09/2010

Do those kegels and it will get better. Just like we need to work out our tummies we need to work out our vaginas as well. Don't lose all hope, after a baby and some exercises sex after baby can sometimes be better then before baby.

Check out this link, it might help some.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kegel_exerc...

Shawna - posted on 06/09/2010

My husband and I were having same problem sex sucked but things have gotten better now it took until my daughter was about six months but it did get better and we also noticed that when we weren't fighting at all it was so so so much better.

Jami - posted on 06/09/2010

it took longer with the first then the 3rd but eventually DH got me stretched out enough to where it didn't hurt so much. I'd say about 4-6m post partum it was comfortable enough for me that it was more like prepreg sex.

Nicole - posted on 06/09/2010

Hormones can be to blame. Women tend to want sex more leading up to ovulation due to an increase in testosterone levels. And since you have just had a baby (and I'm guessing), you may not have either ovulated yet or haven't gotten the original testosterone surge that you were used to before giving birth. This will come back with time.

Not to mention that you JUST gave birth not too long ago! I'm sure you have some sleep deprivation along with the added stress of a new baby. This, too, will get better with time.

Now about physical differences, this, too, is normal. Your vagina just got stretched further than it has ever been stretched before! LOL It will take some time for those muscles and elasticity to increase again. Research proper ways to do Kegels and make sure to keep your glutes in shape. There is some new theory that strong glutes will help maintain a healthy pelvic floor.

Trust me, lots of women find post-baby sex quite disappointing in the very beginning, but before you know it, you will be having lots of fun again!

Tiffany - posted on 06/09/2010

To me I think sex is completely different. Thats propbably because our kids are always with us. Plus I have to be quiet to make sure not to wake the baby. But I do have to say when we do get to sneak away for a quickie, it feels like old times. And the va ja ja part...excercises and everything will eventually feel normal again

Rebecca - posted on 06/09/2010

Do the Kegel exercises suggested. They really will help.

BUT...also keep in mind that you're a woman, and sex for women tends to be far better when we're stimulated psychologically, as well as physically. Which means you and your partner might need to implement some changes.

For example: let's say you lay your wee one down at 1PM, and they sleep until 3PM. At 2:45, drag your partner in to the bedroom and tell him you've got 15 minutes to make each other orgasm. It's kind of like being a teenager again, knowing your parents are going to be home any minute, so you've only got a limited amount of time to do the nasty.

And if you don't get to finish? Who cares! You can try again next time, and you'll be spending the rest of the day anticipating "next time."

Also: Have date night. My husband and I make it a point to have at least one date night a week (it's much easier for us, as our babies sleep through the night, and your wee one may not have gotten to that point yet), and we have a ridiculously good time. Try to find yourself a babysitter, get some movies, a bottle of wine, make him a nice dinner (or ask him to make YOU a nice dinner), play your song and dance around the living room, and make out on the couch like you did when you were first dating.

You might also try: mixing it up a bit - just because you're parents now doesn't mean you're doomed to a life of eternal vanilla sex. If you're comfortable with it, visit a sex shop with your boyfriend and pay attention to the things HE pays attention to. Does he seem to be drawn to white lingerie? Get some! Is he spending a little time around the vibrators? Let him use one on you! Try body paint, costumes, fuzzy handcuffs, blindfolds, feeding each other fruit, role-playing...the possibilities are endless if your imagination is up for it.

Oh yeah: Don't forget to be spontaneous. Let's say your mom agrees to watch the baby for a few hours while you guys catch a movie. Pull in to her driveway - or maybe a block or so down the street - and have a quickie in the car before picking up your munchkin. Out to dinner with friends? Try a little under-the-table naughty time. Baby's still asleep and hubby's in the shower? Hop in!

Be inventive. Be creative. And above all things - be OPEN and HONEST with your partner about your respective sexual needs. Ask about fantasies, fetishes, turn ons and turn offs. The more you learn about what good sex entails for the both of you, the happier the both of you will be. And the better the sex will be too, of course. -=0D

Rachael - posted on 06/09/2010

it goes back to its normal size but for me i find that, it's been 9 months and sex still isn't near as good as it used to be. i would say that i only enjoy maybe 1 out of 4 times.

Kristen - posted on 06/09/2010

i now see someone else suggested Kegels as well, but do it more than just when your peeing. I do them all day long when im at my desk, eating dinner, and about whenever i can. my man has yet to complain, and i never have myself! lol

Kristen - posted on 06/09/2010

I only have one word for you : KEGELS!!
they are your friend! they will help tighten all them muscles back up for you! and you should be doing them anyways. They help with bladder control, so when your an old lady you dont pee on yourself......just sayin

Good luck! and if you havent tried the KY his and hers......oh yes, that shit is like the commercials! lol

Liz - posted on 06/09/2010

It's only been 2 months. Give her time to get back to her normal self.



It really can take up to a year depending on the "trama" your vagina endured.



Also: We're mothers, can't we say VAGINA?

Jael - posted on 06/09/2010

It never goes back to the same but it doesn't mean its going to be huge either! lol I still felt discomfort that soon after my 1st. But my boyfriend now actually says since the baby it has made it better cuz the feeling is different. So its probably just how your feeling.

Jennifer - posted on 06/08/2010

u know its weird some say they couldnt feel anything when having intercourse after they had a baby but i was the the opposite I felt it more and it hurt like i was tighter srry to sound gross so maybe it depends on the person or how big the baby is

Jackie - posted on 06/08/2010

I know that you've probably heard the joke to have the doctor put a few extra stiches in as a "daddy bonus". Well some doctors actually will. Another great things is to do Kegal excercises to tighten up those muscles. It's like peeing and then just tighten up those muscles down there as if to stop the flow and over time they help to firm up the muscles.

Jennifer - posted on 06/08/2010

lol yes at least mine did i know this sounds funny and/or rude but my friends husband told the doctor to add another stitch. just do kegal exercises that should do the trick

Liliana - posted on 06/08/2010

well honestly i was really scared to have sex after having my baby... he is my first!!! so the first few times i really didnt feel much, seemed like it was gonna suck lol... but after a few times it all went back to normal... me and my hubby have talked bout it, and we both agree sex is so much better after baby!!! s hang in there :)

Sheryl - posted on 06/08/2010

if you didn't rip or have to get cut. then i would think it should go back to normal. for me though that did happen. i got a really bad rip so the best of luck to you! it may also be for you that drive that has gone down. anyways best of luck!

Allison - posted on 06/08/2010

I think it's really different for everyone. Depends on a lot of factors! For me, I had really bad post-partum complications and had to have reconstructive surgery. Anyway, it was about 8 months before I could have sex, and it is actually WAY better than before baby! Everything is much more sensitive now. So give yourself time, 2 months is still really early, and like the other ladies said, some Kegels and self exploration might help, too...good luck :)

LeeAnn - posted on 06/08/2010

Things do go back to normal, but the libido does take a nose dive for a while! Right now my oldest is 3 1/2 years, and my youngest is 2 yrs. Trying to find a moment free AND be in the mood is my biggest problem. I had a lot of trouble with different birth controls, and have just been taken off of them, and I think once I get back to normal things will get much better. It has only been a few weeks and I already feel like the old me, before the girls. Now if I could just get them to decide they do need naps, and at the same time I'd have it made, LOL!

PATRICIA - posted on 06/08/2010

I dunno.. I still think sex before kids was better.

Penny - posted on 06/08/2010

Yes, it will go back to normal. I was only in labor for 7 hours and I went from 2-10 in an hour and my son was born in two pushes... but I did Bradley method before and now, after... it took about 8 weeks but sex went back to normal and so did the vava. It just takes some time. I thought sex would never be normal again, too... but it is actually better, I think. However what feels good did change so you may want to try something new! Good luck!

Danelle - posted on 06/08/2010

WIth my first things felt different. Sex with my ex wasn't that good because i really couldn't feel him anymore. (btw he wasn't that big either) But with my second my fiance says i feel like a virgin. lol. Its better this time. With my first i did have stitches and was in labor for 12 hours. This one i didnt tear at all and my labor was only 4 hours. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it but i think it might! Good luck and i hope things get better for ya.

Starla - posted on 06/08/2010

Well I had a c-section with my daughter and i couldnt have sex for 6 weeks. That about killed my husband. When I was givin the go ahead to have sex I was excited and so was he. We have had to spice things up and do different moves and such. Now that my daughter is 2 its harder to just find a moment. you will get back to the way it was it just takes time.

Georgia - posted on 06/08/2010

my sex drive changed...but that was a side effect from my birth control i do believe. Sex is still amazing (when i'm in the mood lol) but my boyfriend and i just spice things up like Kayley said... use different lubrications :)

Nikki - posted on 06/08/2010

Yes everything goes back to normal ... i had a horrible labor and tore beyond belief... but was back to normal in No time and the sex is still as amazing as it was before

Brandy - posted on 06/08/2010

It will get better. I didnt want anything to do with sex at first, but then when you cant have sex for 6 weeks postpartum you go crazy. lol. anyways my son is 4 months now and things in the bedroom are starting to get back to the way they were before if not even better. It didnt really have to do with my vagina though, it was more my hormones i think, cuz i just couldnt get into the mood, but i was like that during my pregnancy also. It will get better though. I mean if you had great sex before your bound to get it back.

Ashley - posted on 06/08/2010

Okay I'm going to put this right out there cause thats the type of person I am. Please dont think I'm perverted. I'm just trying to help. I found the best way to start feeling better about sex is masterbating. (Okay I'm blushing) lol. It helps you find your orgasem. and because your muscles contract its good excersise for them too. Take your time and find what works for you now. You are the only one who knows your own body. With time it does get better. I was sore down there for 4 months. But I was also pushing for 2 hours. I dont know if that makes a difference. In time things will feel better. Dont loose all hope.

P.S. Va ja ja. Thats awsome. lol gotta love Opra

Ashley=) - posted on 06/08/2010

Yes it goes back to normal and sex those too.I would say do lots of pelvic excerises to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles.As the have been strectched with giving birth so things are not going to be as tight as there were before pregancy lol.Good luck hope all returns to normal for you lol :-)

Hayley - posted on 06/08/2010

It bound 2 get better, when evrythn turns back 2 normal (whch it wil) Thn u wil b back 2 havn fantastic sex. mayb n t meantime try spicing it up wt new moves mayb lol.