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I have Grandparent Blues

Sara - posted on 02/22/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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So my ex husband moved us about 6 hours from our home town right after our son was born and then we divorced after a bunch of stuff happened... He will suport my son fianually but not emotionaly and really only comes around when he has a girlfriend... I don't get alone time much... my son is 2 and is at the phase were he don't need me but wants me all the time... I don't get alone time... at all.... visitation weekends always get lastmin cancelations... I'm tired and need a break so I will go to my parents house for the weekend... so I have noticed that now my dad stands behind me and scowls at my son when i tell him to do somthing cuz my dad thinks that if he don't my son wont.. I don't let my son sleep in bed with me cuz i tend to toss and turn and don't want to have to move him just to roll over plus thats my only alone time when i'm asleep.... my dad has now told me i am moving back to my home town... and i will be at there house every sunday and every holiday no choice... i thought i was an adult.. I have been on my own sence i went to college at19 they have helped me when i needed it but never have they been like this telling me what to do at the age of 26 i was wanting to move to my home town but now i really don't want to i would rather strugle to keep my sanity then go back to being the teenage girl that wasn't aloud to date more or less talk on the phone past 9pm.. with no say on what i do with my life... no now my breaks aren't even breaks anymore they are fights for my sanity also... is anyone else going threw this or am i the only young mother that is having flash back to being 16 again?

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4 Comments

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Tasha - posted on 02/24/2011

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Then I totally agree! Stay where you are! Theres a difference between helping and taking over. Things will work out. They always do. I agree with Amy, find a support group. I know our church has a singles group. maybe something like that where they offer childcare, dont force dating on you, and you just hang out. Good luck!

Sara - posted on 02/24/2011

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But that's the problem I went to them for help and to visit them I am not tring to be defient it's just the fact that when they are around I have less say on what I say goes for my son... Such as how his hair is cut if I'm potty training right if daycare is good for him it would be different if they just wanted me closer but they want me right next door they want me to go to school at night work during the day and them have him a majority of the time. I fill like they think I'm failing as a parent I go to school and work my son is in daycare 9 hrs a day I do home work after he is in bed I would love to move closer if it was a helping hand and not a dictation I'm doing fine on my own I need breaks not someone to take over raising my child

Tasha - posted on 02/24/2011

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Are you not wanting to move back just because your dad said you need to? Why be defiant? This maybe the only way your Dad knows how to tell you he wants to help. Also you just said you never get time alone. Living closer to your parents you would be able to have them watch him more. Take the help. just because you move back to your home town doesnt mean your moving in with Mom and Dad, just the same town.

Amy - posted on 02/23/2011

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I feel your pain!!!! my husband and i live with his mother and she has a hard time respecting us as parents even though my husband has an 11yr old. when ever we set rules for our son she acts like they dont apply to her or she will argue about it. we dont let her babysit because she physically can not take care of a 14mnth old. and when i go to my my parents or my sisters house (45mins away from my home) i dont get a break there either. my sister tries to act like his mother by telling me he doesnt want his bottle or something else simliar and my mother tries to take over at times as well. i am 30 years old and i feel like people are always judging me like im a 16yr old teen mom. the only thing i can suggest is maybe having a friend watch your son so you can get a little break or join a mommy and me group where your son can play with other children and you can visit with other moms. i go to a mommy group once a week i have made new friends (i live in a small town where i dont know anyone) and i have also recently started a stoller moms group to be able to get out of the house and walk with other stay at home moms. im sorry that you are going through this alone but just remember if moving back to your home town isnt right for you and your son dont do it. do what makes you happy. hope this helps you to know your not alone.

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