I have male friends, shouldnt my husbands approval be the only one i need?

Tiffany - posted on 06/03/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

286

1

22

I was raised around mainly men so naturally i feel more comfortable around men. I have male friends that I text and talk to on a daily basis. I have male friends who i go places with or who i go see them at their house or they come to our house. My husbands friends all come hang out while my hubby works and plays with the kids then when he gets home they take the kids fishing while i cook or clean. My husband and i have been together 7 years and have never had trust issues. he know where i am and who im with at all times. i would never be out with someone that he didnt approve of. Yet his family and some of mine find it wrong for me to have male friends. most of them are ppl i knew long b4 i met him, and he would never ask me to give up friends just because they are men nor have i asked him to give up female friends. His family is always saying "I dont approve of that" and some of mine to and simply say "I dont need your approval, only Korey's" (my husband) It annoys the crap out of me and him both and we cant even tell anyone our plans because they quesion us. There was even a time when i went to wal mart with my (then) boss to get some things for the store and within 2 mins he calls me laughing cause some of his family seen us and called him. After 7 years i have still not found a way to convince my family and his that we have no jealousy at all and he trusts me and i trust him. I cant get them to believe that it is possible for men and women to be strictly friends. Are any of you dealing with this and how do you handle it?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 06/05/2011

12,224

26

238

I would tell everyone bothering you that the next time they comment, you will walk away. The next time they call to complain or nark, you'll hang up and that it should be enough that you two trust eachother. They need to be supportive of your relationship. Tell them to find other meaningless crap to complain about. Dang

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

5 Comments

View replies by

Roxanna - posted on 09/01/2012

110

53

16

Here is my two cents! YOU are an adult, your husband TRUSTS you! Anyone else needs to stay out of your life! Talk over some strategies with your husband. Put a united front, this is a suggestion, and tell all the family that wants to interfere in your marriage that when they start paying your bills, they can tell you what to do. Or simply tell them they obviously have no respect for you and your husbands opinions and you will have to block them from your life. It's wonderful that your husband has so much faith in you and your mariage!

Dusty - posted on 12/24/2011

128

10

9

If you & your husband trust each other, then you don't need to worry about. The next time your family, or his, tries to butt in about it, tell them plain & simple that it is NONE of their business, you are both grown adults. If they call or text to start in on this, either hang up on them or don't text them back. Eventually they will get the hint!

Donelle - posted on 06/04/2011

5

9

0

I have somewhat of the same problem, except it is that my husband has friends that are female. He has known these women since elementary school, and I would never tell him who he could or could not be friends with. My husband is a very friendly man, he loves talking to people and is very outgoing. His mother has a problem with him having friends that are women, and even having friends that are single men. I am more of an introvert, so alot of times he will go out while I prefer to stay home and read a book or watch a movie. His mother thinks that he should sit home with me every night but I know that doing that would make my husband go nuts! (He has Adult ADHD and is very antsy!!) When he is out, he is very open and honest about who he is with and where they are. I trust my husband completely and I know that he trusts me, even though I only have a handful of friends. i have a few friends that I have known since elementary school myself and my husband would never tell me I couldnt be friends with them. I think that as long as the lines of communication are honest and open, and both parties are comfortable with the people then it is fine. Problems start to rise when other people start interfering with YOUR marriage! Last time I checked, the people that got married were YOU and YOUR HUSBAND. Not extended family members.....

Karen - posted on 06/03/2011

481

19

46

I think that as long as you and your husband are comfortable it's normal and healthy. What the family is doing is probably thinking that maybe more is going on between these guy friends and you and vise versa for him. or they are afraid something will end up happening and breaking your marriage up. Usually when society sees a girl hanging out with all guys all the time, they lable them as trashy. Wich I don't believe you are or your husband wouldn't trust you. Maybe they are scared that you'll end up with an std or their friends will find out and start critisizing them for the way you two live because it's not common. Maybe if you try and sit down with them and explain that you are all just friends and what you do. Explain that there are people out there with this type of relationship where there is an abundance of trust. That you 2 are very much in love and the 2 of you don't need as many boundries because of how strong your relationship is.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms