Ashley - posted on 06/18/2010 ( 104 moms have responded )
I'm a awful mother. My baby boy who is just over 7 months is teething. We just got him to sleep all through the night about 3 weeks ago, then last Saterday a tooth showed up and since then hes been really cranky and waking up at least once a night. My husband is fantastic and will get up with him, but last night Devon (my baby) was waking up every time we put him in his crib. I went to give him tylonal, but he turned his head and cryed. So you know what I did. I screamed at him. My sweet inocent little baby boy who was just in pain from teething and I screamed at him. I am so ashaimed of myself.
My Mother used to yell at us all the time growing up and I always promissed myself that I would NEVER do that to my children, and already I'm yelling at my 7 month old little baby. I love him so much. I dont know whats wrong with me. I dont deserve him.
I've been really fusterated with my husband lately because he isnt emotionaly available. Hes an amazing father and an all in all good man, but I havent gotten a good loving hug from him in a really long time. I need a hug!!! I have asked but he kind of pushes it asside. Hes really good at changing subjects. I cant blame him, I yell at him too. I have to wonder why he hasnt taken the baby and ran.
I just feel so lost. I always thought I wanted a family and now I have a beautiful one I'm more lost and upset then ever. I always knew having a baby wasnt easy. So why am I finding it so hard to be the Mom I want to be. I dont want to be so angry anymore. I dont know what to do.
Last night during the few min Devon was asleep in his crib I sat on the floor of my bedroom and just bawled, My husband just slept away. I have been feeling that maybe its best for my son just to be taken away from me. He needs love and understainding and someone to hold him and be gental when hes in pain.
I dont know what to do. I'm a bad woman and dont diserve the family I have. I had to get this off my chest. I need people to know how horrable I am. Please be honest. Maybe something will get through to me and say ding. Thats how you can controlle your overwhelming fustration. Please help, I'm so afraid to be alone right now.