Nicole - posted on 06/28/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )
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My fiancee has two daughters, Danni and Jessi. They're 19 and 17. Their dad is 42 and I'm almost 26. (No comments about the age difference). I don't want to be the girls' mom. They have one already. I want to be their friend and confidant, and eventually give them a baby brother or sister.
Any advice?
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Kimi - posted on 06/28/2009
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They are older and don't really need you to become another parental figure. But you can still be a good example and they will be looking up to you. Just have fun with them and let their parents deal with anything that needs dealt with when it comes to disaplineing them and just don't get caught in the middle of it. Also, I would let the girls know what you are hoping to get out of being their step mom if you havn't allready done that. Congrats to you! You will love being a step mom.
Lisa - posted on 06/28/2009
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you cant be there friend and step mom, its just does not work that way. My husband is a step dad to my 2 year old, so it is different. My recommendation is just be an adult and a wife. Everything else will just fall into place. As long as you are always there for support or when they need something they will over time trust you and come to you for advise. They are too old to try being mommy to.
LATASHA - posted on 06/28/2009
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Nicole, just let the girls not that you are not trying to be that mom or tell them what do. You and in love with their father and thats tween the two of you. Now if they want you to be there friend and confidant thats great. Let them know you are there for them if they need to talk and since you are a bit older than them they can come to you from anything from boys, female question, or to how to fix the boyfriend problems. Let me know if I was any help. good luck
Michelle - posted on 06/28/2009
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they are grown pretty much you aren't their mom... be their friend. since you are barely older then them they probably dont want you as a mom or even their stepmom
Rebecca - posted on 06/28/2009
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If you didn't want to be a "mom" to older children...maybe you shouldn't be with someone who has children that old. I agree with Shameeka, talk to them, let them know how you feel, they are old enough and probably have their own opinion about you as a mom half their dads age. Just don't be offended by what they may want to say.
Shameeka - posted on 06/28/2009
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just talk to the girls and tell them that your not trying to replace their mom and that you want to be there for them when they need it, if they have something going on that they dont want to talk to their mom or dad about..
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