I need other peoples opinions on this!

Evelyn - posted on 10/31/2009 ( 281 moms have responded )

7

15

0

I have a three month old daughter she weighed 6lbs. 7oz when she was born. For the past three months my b/f parents have been telling me that i need to put cereal in her milk cause she looks "poor" and they say her milk is not satisfying her. Now she weighs 12 lbs. 5oz., I think she is gaining enough weight for her size. I will not leave her alone with them, cause his dad is always wanting to feed her table food already. I get mad and tell my boyfriend that if they can't respect they way I want to raise our daughter, then I will leave. I need to know what I should do or what I should say. I don't want to make them mad, I just need some advice on what I should do. Please let me know! Thank you!

This conversation has been closed to further comments

281 Comments

View replies by

Laura - posted on 11/04/2009

1

13

0

You should not put cereal in the milk, people do this to fill up their babies so they sleep longer. 3 months is too young for table food, their bodies cannot digest it easily. Your daughter has gained just the right amount of weight and there is no reason to feed her anything other than milk. If she wasn't satisfied then she would let you know(crying). Other than that, those people need to mind their own business. Although they're entitled to their opinion, doesn't mean you have to listen to it.

Ana - posted on 11/04/2009

41

7

2

I started feeding my baby gerber with the baby oatmeal when he turned 4 months. My son weighed 6 lbs 11 oz when he was born. by 3 months, I think he was at 12-13 lbs. My mother tries to give my baby chocolate, he's 18 months now. I get really upset, but I know she does it behind my back anyways. She's grandma. She keeps telling me that she did it to me when I was little and that I turned out okay. So not the point. It's my child and this is how I want it to be. One thing is spoiling the baby. Another thing is to disrespect how you are nurturing your baby. Just tell them that you would like it if they respected your feelings and what you want for your child. The formula is enough to keep your baby well nurished. If you want to level with them, put a little bit of the single grain oatmeal for babys in the formula. Just to thicken it up. Most doctors say to wait 6 months before giving your baby anything but formula. But that by 4 months you can start them on gerbers. They suggest 6 months because they are worried about the baby having allergies.

Ashley - posted on 11/04/2009

3

10

0

If the dr is happy with her weight then don't worry. If you bf is worried about her weight have him go to the drs with you.

Barbara - posted on 11/04/2009

19

20

0

you can use the dr excuse,'the dr said not to give her cereal in her milk and her weight is fine, the dr said to not give her table food too early cuz it can cause allergies.' people usually take that better than mothers own choices, especilly in laws

Brandy - posted on 11/04/2009

42

42

3

my now 4 month old weighed 7 lbs 3 oz when she was born. She now weighs 12 lbs 3 oz. The doctor sas she is perfectly healthy. Talk to your doctor. What do they say about your baby? I put rice cereal in 1 or 2 bottles a day but no table food yet. Until they can push food around with tounge, they arent ready for real food.My 2 year old didnt get real food until she was about 6 or 7 months and my 9 year old was about 4 or 5 months. Your baby will show signs when she is ready for more than just milk.

Bridget - posted on 11/04/2009

51

5

9

If they won't listen to you maybe you can schedule an appointment with your pediatrician and invite them to come and find out why your baby should not have table food yet. my son is 6 months old and when he was born his doctor wanted him to double his birth wieght by 6 months. If by 3 months your daughter has done this then I would say she is getting everything she needs from her milk.

Michelle - posted on 11/04/2009

8

24

0

Here is a website you can show your family if they don't want to listen to you, let them see what experts say. There are other good sites you can find too.

http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/tipcere... and

http://www.drgreene.com/21_861.html Good luck. Ps. Mommy knows best, trust YOUR instincts and look for the answers from trusted professionals. If something does not feel right do some research on the internet. Even if it is another mother, a Doctor, or a family member. Do what's best for your baby.

Michelle - posted on 11/04/2009

8

24

0

Here is a website you can show your family if they don't want to listen to you, let them see what experts say. There are other good sites you can find too.

http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/tipcere... and

http://www.drgreene.com/21_861.html Good luck. Ps. Mommy knows best, trust YOUR instincts and look for the answers from trusted professionals. If something does not feel right do some research on the internet. Even if it is another mother, a Doctor, or a family member. Do what's best for your baby.

Jeanie - posted on 11/04/2009

32

15

2

My doc says you shouldn't give babies cereal until they double their birth weight AND are also ready (can hold their heads up and can swallow the food from a spoon). They do not recommend putting cereal in the bottle because they will gain a lot of weight fast. I know this is true from my cousins kids which are huge. I recommend asking your doctor before giving your baby anything other than formula or breast milk. Tell your bf's parents what your doctor recommends and stick to it! You are the parent and responsible for your child - NOT them!!!! Good Luck!!!

Jeanie - posted on 11/04/2009

32

15

2

My doc says you shouldn't give babies cereal until they double their birth weight AND are also ready (can hold their heads up and can swallow the food from a spoon). They do not recommend putting cereal in the bottle because they will gain a lot of weight fast. I know this is true from my cousins kids which are huge. I recommend asking your doctor before giving your baby anything other than formula or breast milk. Tell your bf's parents what your doctor recommends and stick to it! You are the parent and responsible for your child - NOT them!!!! Good Luck!!!

Jeanie - posted on 11/04/2009

32

15

2

My doc says you shouldn't give babies cereal until they double their birth weight AND are also ready (can hold their heads up and can swallow the food from a spoon). They do not recommend putting cereal in the bottle because they will gain a lot of weight fast. I know this is true from my cousins kids which are huge. I recommend asking your doctor before giving your baby anything other than formula or breast milk. Tell your bf's parents what your doctor recommends and stick to it! You are the parent and responsible for your child - NOT them!!!! Good Luck!!!

Jenn - posted on 11/04/2009

124

41

6

I would say you are in the right! Stand your ground. She is your daughter and you have the right to choose when she is ready for solids. Plus when we were babies doctors told parents to start feeding younger for things like better sleep and more weight gain and there has been a lot of research since then that it really doesn't help and can actually have a bad effect if solids (rice cereal) are given too young. If you are unsure consult your doctor and that way you can tell your inlaws what the doctors opinion is.

AMANDA - posted on 11/04/2009

55

8

2

My 4 month is only weighs 12lbs........he has bad acid reflux and has a rough time gaining weight. His fdoctor also said he moves around alot for his age but dont worry about how big she is im sure shes perfect. And i too have had 2 dealk with this problem.....I sat down with my mother and law and explained to her that she was able to raise her children how she wanted ti and i was going to do the same. KIf that couldn't be excepted than i would be forced to only let her see my son when i was around. But i think your boyfriend should be the one who has to talk to his family.

Anna - posted on 11/04/2009

7

42

0

If your daughter's doctor thinks she is at a healthy weight and is doing fine with just the milk you are feeding her than I think you're just fine. My baby is four months old and I haven't started her on baby cereal or anything else yet. The milk seems to be enough for for her at this time. The only thing we've given her is a little taste of popsicle and a tiny taste of ice cream. Tell your boyfriends parents that you want them to follow your guidelines. You are the parent and are doing what you think is best for your child. They have no right to interfere in the raising of your daughter because at three months 12+ pounds is a good weight.

Mary - posted on 11/04/2009

42

50

3

dont put it in the milk, food is dif from milk, feed her if you want to do cereal but dont mix in bottle. Who cares what they think all my kids started scronny, my daughter was 12.6 at 3 mo too, she fine!

Teresa - posted on 11/04/2009

5

4

0

I say that if your daughter doesn't seem hungry and is gaining weight (doesn't have to be a specific amount as all babies grow at their own pace) then you shouldn't have to add anything. Everything I have read about introducing cereal states that before 4 months of age a baby's digestive system cannot handle anything other than breastmilk or formula, but I know many people that started their babies earlier. That is something you should be deciding along with the pediatrician, not your b/f parents. Table food is definitely off the table at this point!

Teresa - posted on 11/04/2009

5

4

0

I say that if your daughter doesn't seem hungry and is gaining weight (doesn't have to be a specific amount as all babies grow at their own pace) then you shouldn't have to add anything. Everything I have read about introducing cereal states that before 4 months of age a baby's digestive system cannot handle anything other than breastmilk or formula, but I know many people that started their babies earlier. That is something you should be deciding along with the pediatrician, not your b/f parents. Table food is definitely off the table at this point!

Elizabeth - posted on 11/04/2009

148

16

2

i am sure your pediatrician would have told you if she hadn't gained enough weight. three months is a bit young for solids and i am sure the doctor will tell you the same. ask them for a note to give to your bf parents, maybe that will shut them up.

Brielle - posted on 11/04/2009

19

10

0

There is harm in giving her rice cereal and baby food/table scraps at too young an age!! Studies show that children who are offered any food aside from breast milk and/or formula at too young an age increase their chances of having allergies and asthma! A pediatrician will tell you to never put rice cereal in a baby's bottle! My mother is a pediatrician and raised six children, all of us have been very healthy and none of us have food allergies or asthma and none of us were fed baby food at such a young age! Dr's will recommend starting babies on rice cereal between four and a half to five months and that is not in the bottle but being spoon fed. Baby food should be started at around six months. Be careful to with what table scraps you are giving baby. Foods like tomatoes and onions can be very hard to digest at first and are in a lot of different foods. I think you are being a GREAT mom by sticking to your guns and not letting your boyfriends parents do what they want with YOUR baby! So many people are uneducated on the matter of how to feed their children and it is the children that ultimately suffer! Babies cannot physically digest rice cereal and baby food yet. Way to go Mommy! Stick to your guns!

Monica - posted on 11/04/2009

31

17

2

I would have to say, do what your instincts tells you to do. You are her mother and you know what is best for your child. I didn't give my son any type of solids til he was almost 6 months old. At birth he weighed 10lbs 10oz and all he needed was breast milk and formula. The longer you wait to give them solids the better; that way they're less prone to developing any type of food allergy.

Jenny - posted on 11/04/2009

61

9

6

hi ,have u tried putting her on to a hungry baby milk , i would'nt give her anything but milk till she was old enough and i'm sure that if there was a problem with her weihjt y our health visitor would have said to u,i know that u can buy foods from 4 mouths old,if needs be when she is old enough,i would'nt recommend giving her anything else,and as for the inlaws they need to understand that it is your child i while u welcome there advice the desision is down to u as her mother alll the best

Ariel - posted on 11/03/2009

14

23

0

Evelyn, yout daughter is doing great at 12lbs and 3 months! She is healthy for her age and cereal is NOT reccommended. I know that having stubborn in-laws can be overbearing but you HAVE to stand you ground. You are the only thing that she has protecting her and doing what is best for her. Try to explain to them that you are following your pediatricians guidelines. If they will not listen then you are right not to leave her alone with them. It is important that you seek out only qualified childcare for you daughter, even though it may seem upsetting that that can not be your in-laws. You wouldn't leave her with someone that didn't know CPR or the hemilich so don't leave her with someone that can't respect your feeding wishes. Dr.s recommend that children stay on the bottle at least until 6 months or as close to that as possible but each child is different. If you are going to deviate from this plan you should consult your Dr. and of course recognize that anytime you stray from the standard recommendation there are going to be consequential changes as time progresses. Good luck through this and I hope you keep us posted!

Alison - posted on 11/03/2009

79

29

10

as for you thinking she is not gaining enough weight that is something to bring up her doctor they will tell you if she isnt gaining enough weight ...they might tell you go ahead and put her on ceral or to try and give her more. as for telling what to say to his parents tell them she isnt suppost to eat any solid foods till atleast a year because she cant digest it yet. and if they try to tell them no and be strict about it there is no reason to sugar coat it and be nice if they are not listening

Krista - posted on 11/03/2009

32

22

1

Stand your ground!!! They aren't doctors. Your Dr. will tell you if she is under or malnourished, though it sounds like you are doing a fine job!!! You need to put your foot down with them feeding her. Most plans and doctors don't recommend feeding your child solids until as LEAST 6 months. Explain this to them, even take literature for them to read if they don't seem to get it. If they are still difficult with it then make it a plan not to leave her with them without you there until she is eating solids and you're comfortable with what and how they will feed her. She is YOUR child and they should respect that you are her mother. I definitely know how difficult family is to deal with but if you need to hurt feelings, you should, your child is the most important thing you will do in your life, do it right!

Chanelle - posted on 11/03/2009

4

20

0

Do what you think is right! My husbands parents are the same way. My son was 6 lbs. 5 oz. and is gaining weight just fine. If your baby is not pooping or peeing regularly, then I suggest supplementing with other foods. But just hang in there and know that if you feel you or your baby isn't ready then go with your gut, don't let anyone tell you what to do with your baby.

Ashley - posted on 11/03/2009

21

29

1

No your daughter is just fine if your worried at all about her weight and if she is healthy ask her doctor and he can tell you if she is growing properly I have four children and one of them is way under the growth chart for his age on both height and weight but he is still following his curve on the chart. You must remember each childs boby type is different. As for food cereal at her age would be ok if she isnt getting full but is she? your her mother you are the one who knows if she is or not and if she isnt then I would go ahead and start her on it a month earily but it should be your and your boyfriends decision. but you are doing the right thing in not allowing them to feed her things from the table cause giving a baby too many foods to earily can lead to alot more food allergies.

Keri - posted on 11/03/2009

19

64

2

its your child and you should do what you feel is best for him or her and if her bottle alone is not for filling her hunger than a little ceral in the bottle might not be a bad idea but its your child and your choice as far as them telling you what to do in one ear and out the other they have rasied their children and now its time for you to rasie yours not them your the mom and thats that like i said in one ear out the other

Michelle - posted on 11/03/2009

2

47

0

Well, I would just politely explain to them that your daughter is your daughter and as long as the doctor is't telling you that she is malnourished then they shouldn't be stressing you out about it. You have the intuition. You know when you are feeding her enough or not. Don't worry about them and do what it is you want to do for your daughter. She is soo cute!

Jodie - posted on 11/03/2009

76

16

4

Hi, im a nurse, and wereccomend no solids until after 6months of age, including in bottles. If you are concerned, talk to your health nurse, or see your doctor, only if they redcommend it should you. I know how hard it is to go against inlaws... So keep your chinup. Its your baby and you are allways right!

Lauren - posted on 11/03/2009

3

13

0

oh, also cereal is a practice food it has hardly any calories and wont put weight on your child, it helps them to get used to a solid constitution. I also stress that 4 mnths is a minimum and most babies wont respond well to it for a few more months.

Lauren - posted on 11/03/2009

3

13

0

Your pediatrician is the person to listen to. If I were you I would go to a second doctor to confirm the advise of the first and inform your 'inlaws' the verdict after you have been. A child will not be able to digest solid foods until they are 4 months + if you do it before then your baby could get constipated and gassy (which is painful and heartbreaking to watch your baby try to expel). Don't worry so much about your child's weight my baby has always been tiny, she was born 6lbs 4oz shes 2 1/2 now and she weighs 12kgs. Her father and I are slight people, she is active, intelligent and eats like a horse but just has a very fast metabolism. The weight guide lines are just that, guide lines and don't take into account the constitution of the parents or how active the child is. As a new mother the last thing you need to be worrying about is the outdated opinions of your partners parents. Prompt your partner to mediate for you, that way you can avoid conflict. As mothers we no if our child looks unhealthy, feels unhealthy or isn't feeding enough. Trust your instincts, stick to your guns and make it clear to those disrespectful so and so's that you are her mother and there son is the father and you respect there opinion but what you will and wont do is your decision.

Shannen - posted on 11/03/2009

1

5

0

I think it's cool that the grandparents are trying to help, but I feel that they need to also realize that the child is yours and your bf and you are the parents and you need to make the main decision, I don't think they are meaning any harm, babies are fun and exciting I would let them be apart of your precious daughter, but also stick to how you want her raised, they need to respect you as her mother on the decisions for and of your daughter

[deleted account]

do what you think is best...it's up to you on how to raise your baby...my daughter will be 3 months tomorrow and i wont even let my mom feed her baby cereal....she practically raised my first born now i'm making the decisions....

Melissa - posted on 11/03/2009

4

11

0

i think u are right....i am only pregnant right now at 37 weeks, but my sister has a 6 month old and a year and half old baby.....Her six month old is just starting to eat rice cereal and solid food. Now she her baby is in the 10th percent of weight weighing 14 pounds at 6MONTHS!!! The doctor says its only deceiving cause he looks like a chubbers and hell gain it back up with the solid food....still he dont eat ANY table foods!!! Ur baby is 12 pounds and is 3 months so i think she is in very good weight category...so keep what ur doing!!!! Ur doing everything right......my sisters doc says Noah (6 month old) is perfectly healthy and theres nothing shes doing wrong so i wouldnt worry!!!!

Jessica - posted on 11/03/2009

8

18

1

You may not like my opinion on this but I had in laws the same way. And they are still the same way always on my case about something well that was until I lost it. You can only handle so much from people in laws or your own parents and I had to put both in there places. Tell them this is your child not theirs, if they want to be in controll of a baby again have on if they can not have one then adopt. Cause there are thousands of babys and children that need homes. Me personally I went through the same thing about food at a early age and also them wanting me to give her a bottle of water at 1 week old. I would do what your baby's doctor says, in most cases they do know best. However if she cries a lot after you feed her then ask the doctor what to do because they do have formula that has the right amount of cereal in it.

Michelle - posted on 11/03/2009

1

3

0

its nothing wrong putting cereal in her milk she will not have a over weight problem because if she is full she will stop eating...my son was 9lb 9oz and he need cereal in his milk cus he wasnt getting full and he started eating the cereal in a bowl when he was almost 4 months but that what his doctor told me to do.....now he will be one in a few days and his weight is where its suppose to be....

Candice - posted on 11/03/2009

18

19

2

Ask a Doctor before you give her cereal in her milk.. Also if the dr is ok with her weight i wouldn't worry. You don't want to "plump" your kid up, as long as you feed her till she is full then thats the weight she is meant to gain. Having an "over weight" kid is much worse than having a lean kid!

Megan - posted on 11/03/2009

25

8

3

take your daughter to the doctors have her checked out and if the doctor said she's good and healthy, let your b/f's parents know that and if she's not up to weight then ask what you can do to help her put on some pounds. it's your kid, your rules!!

Alexis - posted on 11/03/2009

20

36

1

I agree with you. It is ok for people to have a opinion but you by no means have to take it. If your daighter is gaining weight and not crying out like she isn't satified with her meals you have nothing to worry about. I would also mention that a infants digestive system isn't ready for solids until they are 4-6 months old and giving them food any sooner can jsut cause them irritation and other issues. Stand strong and know that you are her mom and always know best.

Janis - posted on 11/03/2009

22

23

3

3 months is too early for solids! Explain you have a doctor or child nurse who is monotoring the childs growth and that you are a competent parent who wants the best for your child and solids at 3 months will interfere with her digestive system

Rebecca - posted on 11/03/2009

1,988

118

311

We had the same problem when we would go visit my in laws. They tried to give my son chocolate...he wasn't 3m old but he was just over one and i didn't see it fit to give it to him at the age he was, just personal opinion. I don't speak the same language as my in laws so my fiance had to talk with them whioch turned in to an argument becuase they felt they knew what was best so i told my fiance if they want to raise another child and give them chocolate they should have one but it's my child and he would be raised how we saw fit, not his parents. They have never liked me for the fact that i don't speak the same language as them but i have never had a problem since and they now show me what they would liek to give him and i either give thumbs up or shake my head. They now get that i'm in charge. I was sick for 6 months while pregnant with my son so they knew i wouldn't be a push over after we trie to get pregnant for so long. Once they see that you are in charge they will calm down. Just tell them she is too young right now but when she was ready eat cereal and jar food you would love to share the experience with them. They have to understand that you are the mother and father not them. Grandparents do like to spoil but things that you are talking about could seriously harm her being the age she is. She could develop allergies or choke. Try explaining that to them. Times have changed and a lot of people still think things are the same as 30 years ago. Don't give in, you know what is best for your daughter.

Good luck:)

Josee - posted on 11/03/2009

7

3

0

People especially parents always like to give advice. Sometimes it's good advice and sometimes it's not so good. They have been taught to raise children differently than the way we do it now. Either ways aren't going to seriously harm your child but my advice is for you to speak with your doctor about this first and get his or her professional opinion on the matter. From that, make your own gut decision on what is best for your daughter. Listen to all advice with an open mind but in the end, it is up to you to make the final decision on what is best for her. You are the mom, not them. If they persist, just firmly but politely tell them what your decision is and why you came to that decision, and that they should respect your decision even if they disagree. If they continue to persist, ignore them when they say a comment. It is sometimes hard for a mother in law and a mom to let go of their motherly instincts because they love that grandchild just as much as they love their own. Cut them some slack on certain little issues but stick to your guns when you feel it is important.

D'Etta - posted on 11/03/2009

130

8

37

Putting cereal in a bottle is crap. It is the surest way to create an overweight baby. The habits she creates now, are the habits she carries with her. My in-laws used to tell me to do this as well. (They used to tell me to give my babies bottles of water too, which actually thins the blood...) All you can do is tell them that the doctor said you're baby is very healthy and shouldn't eat cereal until she's 6 months. They should respect your wishes because she is your daughter.



Don't let anyone tell you to do something for your child that you're not comfortable with.

Katie - posted on 11/03/2009

37

12

3

My daughter was 6lbs 5 oz when she was born she is now almost 2 months old and only weighs 8lbs 4 oz the doctor recommended Enfamil AR which has more calories i would let the parents go with you one time to the doctor and have the doctor answer their questions about table foods. i also feed my little girl cereal in her bottle or put a lot of formula in it and spoon feed it. i know it's not recommended but my little girl is gaining the weight she needs now.

Amber - posted on 11/03/2009

21

43

1

First off 3 months is WAY to young for table food. Second of all your her mother not them. They have already had their chance w/ their son. Therefore they should respect you & your desicsons regaurding your child.

Robin - posted on 11/03/2009

3

19

1

you don't want to start introducing solid foods too early in a baby's diet (mushy foods count as solids)...my Dr. told me that back in the day they used to tell parents to give babies infant cereal to help them sleep longer and now they have noticed that a lot of young adults suffer more from crones disease and they believe this may be from feeding them cows milk and solid food too early. I would talk to your Dr. and see what hey says but do what feels right to you, not the inlaws.

Julie-ann - posted on 11/03/2009

1

4

0

hi u need to tell them that u no they looking out for u and your child but every child is different wot worked for there children might not be best for yours. u need to speak up now trust me i have learned from experience

Julie - posted on 11/03/2009

9

25

1

my son was born 10lb 13oz everyone said to me to put stuff in his bottel i found out in doin so it an cause stomach problems when they get older just do wat u think is right i wouldnt advise bfor 5months and she sounds fine just think its all changed since they had babys and if u wait to 6months they can eat anythin

Tenea - posted on 11/03/2009

35

36

1

I had to just flat out tell people that "this is how i am raising my baby, this is what i believe and if you dont like it that's just tough. It is my child not yours, you raised your child the way you wanted to now let me raise my child the way I want to!"

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms