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i think im a bad mum

Lucy - posted on 02/21/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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ill start from the begining i had my little girl megan in dec 2005 i moved to ireland when she was 2 months old since then my mum has kinda taken over i feel like a part timemum and when ever i bring this subject up to my mother she just says fine never bring hem up here my mum and step dad o and my partner are the only people i i will ever trust with my girls my mum hates my partner with a passion so when ever i go up there he cant come just need out sider advice

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Anika - posted on 02/24/2009

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as for your mum taking over... you have to put your foot down. She is YOUR daughter and it will confuse her if your mum and you are telling her different things etc.

I had this a bit with my own mum, but now she knows the score she is fine... to a point.

If she is emotionally blackmailing you by saying don't bring her up to her home because you have tried to put your foot down just say "fine, whatever you want, you are the one who will be losing out." Its not fair of her to be doing this.



As for your partner, she needs to accept that he is the one you want to spend your life with, its YOUR decision, not hers. If she is badmouthing him in front of your daughter though, thats when you need to say "I'm not coming up anymore". Because think of the position it is putting your daughter in. She loves her dad, she loves her nan, she cant understand why they don't like each other, and to hear mean things about her dad is not something that she should have to deal with.



You need to talk to your mum and tell her how you feel.

Jenny - posted on 02/21/2009

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That is no reason to think you are a bad Mom. I consider my Mom and Grandma "parents" to my daughter because they have been there since day 1 and helped me through it all but I am Jadyn's Mom. Your little one has one Mom and a loving Grandmom. That's why they are called "Grandparents"...some are less involved and that is fine too! It's whatever works for you and your family...but what's most important is what's best for you, your husband, and your little one. My step-son's Grandma has been like a parent to him since he was born and though she, my mom, and my grandma may all seem controlling in some situations...it's all out of love...

Alexandria - posted on 02/21/2009

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I understand your pain and frusteration. My mum also dislikes my partner who just so happens to be my husband now and it is tough but we make it work. it upsets me when my mum will say something bad about him because well i love him and we are happy. we have a three year old son and he is our world.

You are most definately not a bad mum and i am sure your mum just wants to help out and be the best grandma for your daughter. Even thou my family doesnt like my husband when we go over there he still comes and they are never disrespect fully or anything they just dont like him. i am always prasing my husband and trying to tell them great things about him and always trying to get them to like him more and i am sure it is helping a little bit but i guess everything just takes time. If there is anything else i could help you with or offer more advice i would love to.

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