I've lost who I am.... completely stressed out....

Natasha - posted on 05/28/2010

Being a mum is definitely the hardest job around. I had a really stressful job as a Bank Manager before my son and that was so much easier than looking after my son. Don't be so hard on yourself. You have chosen to put your past behind you and be responsible and respectable for your son. Good on you.
Of course your old life seems easier, as there was no responsibility and good times.

You just need to find what are new great times with your son and get into a new routine. Why not look into your community centres/libraries that host some kid events that you can both enjoy. My local library has a free nursery rhyme time every thursday morning that my son just loves. It is also nice for me to catch up with some mothers. Playgroups are also great, the one my son goes to is 2 hours once a week for $40 per term. It is not too expensive and we both love it. Sometimes I take my son to the local indoor pools that is only $3 per session. It is actually quite fun. I also joined a free Pram walking group that meets every morning. I just go when I can and my son has learnt all the other kids names. We sometimes go over to each others homes and have playdates, so the kids can play outside their prams.

Nicole - posted on 05/27/2010

I'm so sorry! I get that way too, and I have help! I stay at home with my three girls and I felt (sometimes still do) like a robot. I love my children, but spending all day every day with them is both mentally and physically exhausting! It does sound like you need a break. Is there anyone who could watch your son for you one day a week so that you could get out? Even if it's for an hour? During the day, I make the kids take a nap for an hour, even if they don't actually fall asleep, they are in their beds for one hour, so that I have an hour to sit and relax.

Keep in mind, that although it is ALOT of work, staying at home with your child is also a blessing.. if you weren't with him every day you would miss his first step, and other milestones. Even though you are going thru hard times, you and your son share a special bond that only the two of you have.

I think as women, we have a need for communication with other women, we like to talk and have that interaction. You sound like a very busy woman, but maybe you should join a Moms group like MOPS.. they meet once a month and you can talk with other moms for a couple of hours while your son plays with other kids. That would give you a chance to talk to other adults and feel like a person again. There may be a place on this website that can get you in touch with other moms in your area so that you can have playdates with other moms.

I wish there were something more I could say to help. But going to school full time and taking care of your son is very admirable and amazing. I will pray for you, and I hope that you can find an outlet or something that you can do for yourself. For me it was excercising, going to a group once a month, inviting other moms to come over for playdates when I could, getting out for an hour once a week. Just know that you're not alone, I have felt and still feel the same way..

Karmi - posted on 05/27/2010

@Ayla
We do have a park around the corner that we go to but no kids ever go there. It is so hidden, but I do let him run. Also the problem with friends is, my past was party party party. I drank a lot did the whole teenage life of smoking and drinking none stop. I quit everything the day I found out I was pregnant. And none of my friends did. So I pretty much don't have friends because I chose to grow up.

Ayla - posted on 05/27/2010

HI.
Sounds like abit of a tough time for you.
I have a 4month old baby, and it is just me and my partner. We moved country and have no family here to help. I stay at home all day with my son to, and even when my partner comes home hes pretty much gone again to rugby training.

A great way to meet other mums and kids is play group. I am going to get into a play group with my son after i get back from visiting family. Search for a play group near to you.Itl give you some good adult conversation and ur sone can make friends. Also they are pretty cheap to, the one im looking at only costs $4.
Can the govenment help you out with daycare if you really need it.
Are there any parks near where you live?
Go for a walk to the park and let your son go mad. haha.

It would be so hard for you without any family and friends. But if you do have any friends at all, try visit with them or get them to visit you. have some adult time.

I say if you have a day to urself,?Go get a massage and relax.
Sorry to hear your having a hard time. i Hope i gave some good ideas.
Take care.x

Karmi - posted on 05/27/2010

Thank you for the suggestions, I will really look into that! :) Anytime we can get out of the house is great.

Cori - posted on 05/27/2010

Look for a MOPS group in your area. It would be a chance for your little one to play with other kids and for you to bond with other moms. http://www.mops.org/

You could also look and see if there are any places that offer parenting classes in your area. I am NOT NOT NOT saying you are a bad parent. I taught parenting classes for a while and I really believe that all parents can benefit from a good parenting class. It is a chance to talk to other parents about discipline and stress in your life. It is another great way to learn coping for what life throws your way. Plus a lot of places offer childcare while you are in class.

I know it doesn't replace a vacation but it might be a way to get a break for an hour or two a week. It is a start.