Im 21 married and i have a baby is there any one else like me?

Stephanie - posted on 04/11/2009 ( 156 moms have responded )

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im 21 married,i have a great baby...im done school,ihave a good job...but all my friend bailed after my daughter. im i the only one this happened to?

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Summer - posted on 04/18/2011

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its not that there jealous its having kids so young we miss out on so much.. an you cant really expect everyone to keep in touch i lost everyone including my family an i know what its like it feels like even with the baby its all on you an its not there is always someone out there if youd like to talk text email facebook or play dates id love to i have very few friends also. it gets tough an its nice to have someone there to help you thru it. god bless.

Jessica - posted on 04/11/2009

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no you are not alone. I'm 23 married, and i am a homemker. I am also, a full-time mom. I can not go back to work, because when we found out at 19months that our son has austim. He is 3 years old now. He is starting to do better. I lost all of my friends, when i had my daughter. I was only 18 when i had her.

Amy - posted on 04/11/2009

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hi ya i had my first at 17 and am now almost 25 with 3 beautiful girls and was married at 20 but i was lucky my best friend was expecting like me young but dont worry you will not be lonely always try and find a mums and tots group im lucky i live in the army life so am never lonely and thats through  going to groups with my kids, give it a try u might feel less isolated

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156 Comments

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Esmeralda - posted on 04/18/2011

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haha no you are not the only one.. i was 18 when having my first, was 18 when i got married. now i'm 26, i have 4 kids and almost 8 years married to the man i love.. and i have no friends.. but i dont mind, i enjoy being a wife and a mom :)

Brooke - posted on 04/18/2011

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Nope. Im 21 married. drive a 2011 dodge caravan, have a government job, and own a house. Had my baby at 19.... planned pregnancy.. everyone thought i was nuts and bailed on me too... they are just jealous dont let it get to you

Summer - posted on 04/18/2011

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im 21 2 kids 2 step kids married.. didnt finish school but all my friends deffinatly ditched me. if you ever need to talk im here hon.

Jane - posted on 04/21/2009

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i was 17 when i got pregnant with my son and i have lost the majority of my friends but the ones who stuck around with me i am so much closer with

Terrie - posted on 04/21/2009

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no i was 15 when i had my first i love all four of my kids but all my friends just didnt want to hang out any more. if it was not for my family i would have went crazy. i would not change it for the world.

Kellie - posted on 04/21/2009

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My name is Kellie. I am 21 married and I have 2 kids. A girl, Addison, who is 17 months old and my little boy is 3 months old. I graduated high school in 2005. I quit my job when I had my daughter and became a stay at home mom. Most of my friends have kids too so we are all still pretty close. Feel free to chat with me anytime I won't bail on anyone for any reason.

Amber - posted on 04/21/2009

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Quoting Jenni:

Hiya im 22, married and have 3 kids. its not easy to socialise as i hardly have any spare time but i go through alot of credit lol. feel free to add me on facebook xxxx



wow you sound like me...thought I was the only one lol

Renee - posted on 04/21/2009

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I'm 22 married and have a great 3 year old and am currently expecting my second... I was married when i was 2 too...

Amber - posted on 04/21/2009

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it happened to me to. I was married at 17, had a baby by the time i was 18, had another when I was 20 and another when i was 22. this is why you need this forum. now you have friends and feel free to message me with anything..even if you want to just vent. I've been through it trust me! i'm 23, have 3 kids, a husband, a business, a house, I had my 3 kids in less than 4 years...so there is pretty much no situation i haven't been through lol!

Ashley - posted on 04/21/2009

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Hey! Lets see i'm in the same boat, I'm 21 and I got married in August and had my baby this December. All my friends except for those you have children have left my life. Told me I didn't care and was selfish to take my life further. Well my life is great and don't need them to make me happy my son is everything. So I can relate to what you going through. Sincerely Ashley!

Somaiy - posted on 04/21/2009

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HI MY NAME IS SOMAIY (I KNOW ITS WIERD) IM 26 NOW BUT I GOT MARRIED WHEN I WAS 16 AND FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT WHEN I WAS 17. I FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL AND YES MY FRIENDS JUST DID THEIR OWN THING BUT WE WERE VERY YOUNG. I FELT REALLY REALLY BAD @ FIRST BUT THEN I REMEMBERED THAT I GOT MARRIED BCUZ I WAS INLOVE AND NOW THEY WERE MY NEW FAMILY. I STARTED MAKING NEW FRIENDS THAT ALSO HAD BABIES AND THAT HELPED ME THRU IT. REMEMBER UR TRUE FRIENDS ARE THE ONES THAT STICK BY U THRU THICK AND THIN ALL OTHERS LET THEM GO. IN TIME U WILL REALIZE U DONT NEED THEM. THE ONLY PPL U NEED IN UR LIFE R THE ONES THAT NEED U IN THEIRS. CHURCH IS A WONDERFUL WAY 2 MEET NEW MOMMY FRIENDS ARE WILL HELP U GET THRU THIS. GOOD LUCK

Veronica - posted on 04/21/2009

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Hello,

I am 24 going to be 25 and in the process of planning my wedding, I had my first son at 17 and now have a 6month old son as well. I found that yes most of my friends bailed, my fiance is luckier as his friends stayed his friends but they don't come by much, he goes and sees them quite often though :( I have only 1 friend really that I can hang out with and she has an 18 month old. I have found though that many communities have mom and tot groups that are generally free, it's a great place to meet other moms and get out of the house for a bit, maybe you could look into that and see if it helps :)

Veronica

Kim - posted on 04/21/2009

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im 24 will be 25 in a couple of day. I'm sorry that it happen to you. I had my lil girl at 23 and my friends was surprise to find out that i gave birth. they were supportive. but some drifted away and my other friend kept in touch cuz they have kid. You should try to find a play group/date for your lil girl...you get to meet other mom and/or talk.

Megan - posted on 04/20/2009

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im in the same boat girl. but i still have several friends that either have babies too or just love my little one! its really hard though cause now is when you really need them. if you need anything just let me know!!

Jenni - posted on 04/20/2009

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Hiya im 22, married and have 3 kids. its not easy to socialise as i hardly have any spare time but i go through alot of credit lol. feel free to add me on facebook xxxx

Sarah - posted on 04/20/2009

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im 21 engaged with a 4 months old, i have a really supportive family but like most of you my friends over the time of my pregnancy and birth have vanished. It really shows you who your tru friends are thats for sure. i have been gettting into mother groups and things for young mums it helps because it puts you in touch with other young mums who are going through exactly what you are.

[deleted account]

I am 23 Married, have 2 step sons, currently pregnant with my first our last, we own a home, and I am a homemaker. Most of my friends are older I can relate to them better they are all about my hubby's age 32. It doesnt really bother me I still keep in contact with old friends they just cant relate to me like they used to.

Jennifer - posted on 04/20/2009

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I got married at 18 and my son was born a few months later. My friends had bailed on me to. I am now 25 y/o with a 7 year old son, devorced, remarried (and going well for 2 years and counting), and have a 10 month old daughter. I don't really hear much from the old friends but I have a whole new group.

Kelsey - posted on 04/20/2009

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LOL im 25 i have been married 9years i have three kiddos all my friends kicked me after having my first but i made new friends mostly people my age with kids. Then when they had kids they hit me up.

Christina - posted on 04/20/2009

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I am 23 yrs old with wonderful little girl and married to a wonderful husband. we got married on April 19, 2007. I got pg with her when I was 21 and had her when I was 22. Not all my friends are there for me anymore. most of them stop talking to me, because I had a baby so young. I still do have those friends that I talk to still. One friend that I have is 19 and she has a little one herself. So no you are not the only one.

Crystal - posted on 04/20/2009

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i am 21 and have a 18 month old son and while i have some friends with kids i never really see the ones that dont we kind of stopped hanging when he was like 6 months old

Emma - posted on 04/19/2009

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no ur nt on ur own, im 21 with 2 kids i was 17 wen i was pregnant an 18 aving my eldest my friends kind stuck with me they were really surprised tho xx

Hannah - posted on 04/19/2009

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Hi,

I was 22 when I had my wee girl and I lost touch with some friends but I joined a play group and meet Mums of all ages. I am 26 now but most my friends are in there 30's to early 40's it is great to have friends of all ages you learn so much :)

Hannah

Misty - posted on 04/18/2009

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I am 22, I have a 19 month old and currently going through a divorce. The only thing I can say is "It's time like this you know who your true friends are" Most of the time people split off because they do not want to be tied down because you have a kid or kids. They do not know how to help or just do not want to. My best friend from kindergarten got pregnant Senior year, I was there for her more than her baby's daddy, She lives in Arkansas I live in Cali. I got pregnant, she called a couple times, I have not heard from her in 6 months. The best thing... find women that have kids that are willing to hang out with just the girls or hang out with you and your kid.

Katie - posted on 04/18/2009

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Your not the only one. I am 26 now but I got married at 19 and had a baby and all of my friends vanished too. I had my second daughter when I was 21. It sucks that your friends bail but you find out that you will become so busy with your life and kids that you don't miss them as much. Plus you will meet other mom's as your kids get older.

Jessica - posted on 04/18/2009

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Im 21 got pregnant when I was 20 and when all my friends foudn out i was all alone. it made me realize they werent worth it. And it was hard to adjust, so i completly understand. Once I started back at school I met people who where young and had kids, and they have become my friends now. Hopefully you will start to meet people at work who have kids or that you can relate to. Good luck and hopefully it will get better!

Jessica - posted on 04/18/2009

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Im 21 got pregnant when I was 20 and when all my friends foudn out i was all alone. it made me realize they werent worth it. And it was hard to adjust, so i completly understand. Once I started back at school I met people who where young and had kids, and they have become my friends now. Hopefully you will start to meet people at work who have kids or that you can relate to. Good luck and hopefully it will get better!

Amber - posted on 04/18/2009

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Im 21 married and in the military, next month ill have a little boy, but my friends dont really keep up with me anymore, we just dont have anything in common, i try to stay in touch but they dont. It sucks, i know what your going thru but a family is better than anything so you're doing better than them

[deleted account]

I was pregnant with my son when I turned 21 and after I had him it seemed like people felt like i could never go out and party or hang out anymore, so I lost a lot of the people I thought were my true friends. It was VERY hurtful. I know I would be in bed a lot of nights when I knew my friends were out doing things feeling really hurt because I wasnt invited because of my son. Now I just try to find other friends with kids so that we can all relate to each other and they tend to also know what its like and how much it sucks to lose everyone too. : )

Kristen - posted on 04/18/2009

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I'm also 21 and I have a 18 month old daughter. I don't think things are ever the same with your friends after you have a baby. But think postitve, no matter what it's worth it in the long run.

Brandy - posted on 04/18/2009

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I'm 21 I got married when I was still 17 I had my son 4 months later when I was 18 and I have got to be honest it did seem like my friends bailed but it happens after high school everyone moves on to other parts of their lives and I just chose the mommy/wife route and eventually all my friends followed which made it easier to get together because we then had more in common. I just had my second like a month before I turned 21 and I wouldn't change a thing friends or no friends! believe me its not worth worrying about!!

[deleted account]

I was married at 19 and had my daughter at 21, all my friends bailed out on me when i had my daughter. But i look at it now and i realized they weren't friends after all if they couldn't be with me then.

Kaiulani - posted on 04/17/2009

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I got pregnant for the first time at age 21 had my daughter at age 22. Through out my pregnancy it seemed like my best friends since we were in 8th grade were slowly drifting away. All they ever wanted to do was go out and drink and at that time I never really wanted to be around it, since I dont believe in drinking while being pregnant and I didnt feel that was the kind of atmospher I wanted to be around while being pregnant. Now that I have my daughter they try to hang out with me, but at the same time it just feels like things will never be the same way things once was. Everyone grows up and ends up going their own seperate ways in life and we have no choice but to accept it. It sucks not really having people around the same age as me that have kids to set up play dates. I have another girl due really soon. So right now is just being a family person making sure my daughters are well taken cared of and get nothing but the best. My husband is very supportive so im blessed in that department. I still have like 2 more years left before I finish off my degree in psychology. Just hng in there you may feel like your the only one dealing with crappy problems like friends ditching you or worst yet family bailing on you, but just focus on you and your kid and you will be fine. Nothing should be more important than making sure your child gets everything they need.

Amanda - posted on 04/17/2009

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Post a reply!I was married at 19 and had my daughter at 21 Don't worry about it you will find friends through play groups and pre schools that have the same things in common as you. When your other friends start having families of their own they are going to know straight away what they have done wrong and hopefully they try to contact you and fix the situation.. Hang in there your kids are worth everything you are dealing with..

Amanda - posted on 04/17/2009

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Post a reply!I was married at 19 and had my daughter at 21 Don't worry about it you will find friends through play groups and pre schools that have the same things in common as you. When your other friends start having families of their own they are going to know straight away what they have done wrong and hopefully they try to contact you and fix the situation.. Hang in there your kids are worth everything you are dealing with..

Vaporatic Samantha - posted on 04/17/2009

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Hi, I am 21 and just had my first on april 13. Most my friends bailed when i got married at 20 so i got use to having my husband be my best friend

Krystal - posted on 04/17/2009

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You are lucky that you finished school and have a good job. That is not very common for most young women like ourselfs. I'm 22 and married. I have a 2 year old daughter and a 3 month old son. I only have 3 more classes left to take to graduate with my associate's degree. Yet, ever since I've became a parent, it's been hard juggling school, working, family and a social life. I ended up putting school on the back burner again and when I became pregnant with my son I decided to be a stay at home mom. When I had my daughter, my friends were around still then suddenly I got married and had my baby boy. They thought I was too good to have them in my life because they didn't have what I have. I ended up finding better friends that were actually honest with me no matter what and wanted me to be happy, not miserable like ex friends were.

Stacie - posted on 04/17/2009

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hey Stephanie im 21 engaged and have 2kids orlando is 21mnths and reon is 4mnths

im sorry your firends bailed just think they are not real friends if they cant stick by you and wld rather go out to the club then stay with you i can only truley say i have one true friend who has stuck buy me through thick and thin the best thing to do is go to a play group and make friends with other mums

Kelly - posted on 04/17/2009

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yes it happend to me i work and go to school and have 3 kids and dont have much time for muchof nothing and thay all stoped calling it suckd at first

Vanessa - posted on 04/17/2009

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I'm 22 (just turned) been married for a year and we have a 10 month old

Amanda - posted on 04/17/2009

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hi stephanie! oh i felt the same way u do! i was married at 21 and pregnant with my first! 3 years later and i only talk to one of my 6 bridesmaids! its hard for some people our age to make time for u when u have a baby and their going out and "enjoying" their "20s"!! but honestly youll get much better and find friends in people u didnt think u would! best of luck, and ill b ure friend! hehe

Patty - posted on 04/17/2009

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thank you so much for posting this I was begining to think it was just me, i'm 22 pregnant with my second child and shortly after i got pregnant with my first all my friends disappered. I'm sorry that you all have to go thru this but i'm glad i'm not "the plague". thank again for posting this.

Jocelyn - posted on 04/17/2009

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first preg at 18, had ds at 19, preg with number 2, due oct 4. married last september. i am also 21. three friends stayed close. but i love those three friends with all my heart (and they were my bridesmaids). all the rest of my friends are still partying and drinking and drugging. i see them maybe every couple of months, at the bar of course. and then we have nothing in common. but whatever. you can't do anything about it except find new friends (probably with kids or married lol)

Heather - posted on 04/17/2009

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You are not the only one out there! I'm 24 but when I was twenty one I had baby and was engaged. I got married at 22 and had my second child at 23. It's not easy being a young mom and growing up before your friends but I wouldn't of had it any other way! Just think when your in your 30's you'll be able to enjoy your own life again and all your friends will have 5 year olds and you can just laugh. Just remember to try and stay true to your self and don't feel like you are alone.

Bridgette - posted on 04/17/2009

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im 25 and my first is on the way, i got married when i was 22 and all my friends pretty much disapeared so i know how you feel. its hard sometimes but i kinda threw myself into work relationships and family and its a little bit better at least gives me outside poeple to talk to. :)

[deleted account]

NOPE! I am 23 and have a 13 month old boy. My friends were happy for me, but they don't understand what it takes to be a Mom. It is very different for my husband and I to hang out with our single friends or friends who are married but don't want kids. The only Mom's I have found to interact with are all in their mid-30's and have different life experiences from me.... However, I agree with Cassie that it is a price I am willing to pay because my son gives me something to laugh and smile about daily.

But I hope you see that this Mom's group is an awesome place to be. =)

Jessi - posted on 04/17/2009

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Stephanie-



You are definitely NOT the only this happend too.

I'm 21, have a 7 month old son, and married. My friends haven't bailed on me. They just don't understand you can't call at 8 P.M. to go out. By that time my son is getting his bath and bottle.

It was actaully my family that I haven't been in contact with.

It's hard be a young mom and you feel the world is against you. But it all works out. =)

Nikki - posted on 04/17/2009

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Im also 21, engaged and have a 4 month old son. I got lucky with my friends. Even luckier when my best friend got pregnant with her second daughter 3 months after i did!

Billie Jo - posted on 04/17/2009

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lets just say I was alway invited to everything....even while pregnant until the middle of my 2nd trimester. After that, my husbands circle of friends would only call me when my hubby was in town. My high school circle of friends talk to me more but never get the invites out. I am 23 with a gorgeous daughter, Handsome airforce hubby and I am a nurse. I have few friends in PA (where we are from) that call/email so I would call them my good friends....and as for in OKC, I have met terrific people who are young moms like me!

Alyssa - posted on 04/17/2009

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No I'm 21 and have two kids. i never went to school. but i had friends bail. you just need to find friends with kids. they're there don't look for them they will come to you! don't give up i know it sucks but it happens.Most of the time your kids turn out to be more fun then having friends ne ways! :)

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