im 22 and pregnant. how can I tell mom? need advice..

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Samantha - posted on 08/13/2012

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You are 22 years old. You are a grown woman. Young, yes, but still an adult. Sit her down and speak to her as one. When and if she gets angry, remember that this is the crucial time to remain calm and show your mom you are in control (even if you aren't). Do not for a second forget that she is your mom. Maintain respect. Consider all that you are going to say before you speak to her and contemplate a reply to any questions or accusations she may have. Most of all, stay strong. All woman are built powerful and resillient. That includes you!!

Michelle - posted on 08/01/2012

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Also, If she comes at you with a lecture or a million questions, "well have you thought about your job, marriage, finishing school? How are you going to juggle everything, Blah Blah." Make sure that your answer can be yes, you have thought about it, and here are the answers. If you have more to say than she does, and you can comfort her by adressing her fears it will go a lot smoother. If you sit there going, "I dont know, I dont know, im sorry" then she will feel she has won control over the situation and she is still able to mother you like a child. YOU own the conversation, this is YOUR child. DO NOT let her control you or your decisions. Spend time thinking about solutions for now, not worrying about how she will react, once you have your plan figured out, then tell her. Praying for you :)

Rebecca - posted on 07/31/2012

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You are 22 years old and an adult!!!! You should be able to your mother you are pregnant. Just take her to lunch or call her. More that likely she will be happy for you if not she will get over it. It matter if you are happy with it. I had my first when I was 21 and 23 now expecting baby #2. I was nervous when I told my family I was expecting both times but it is something that needs to be done eventually.

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Momma Of 4 - posted on 08/13/2012

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I was 22 with my first. I sent my mom an email with a pic of a positive test. Did it again with my second (9 wks prego)... Good luck

Brooke - posted on 08/12/2012

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Hi Kris,
I was 18 when I became pregnant. It's not like I didn't know this was a possible result of my actions, but you know that saying, "You never think it will happen to you." When I found out, it was the week of Christmas and on top of that my dad was a Pastor. I was beyond terrified to tell anyone especially my dad. I went weeks without saying anything to anyone. I was in denial and completely shut down from everyone and everything. My roommate knew exactly what was going on and one night she confronted me on it. She was very supportive and encouraged me to tell my mom. A few weeks passed and finally I had worked up enough courage to tell my mom. I text her asking if she could come over on her lunch break. When she came over, I didn't even have to say anything to her. She hugged me and told me it would be okay (Mother's Intuition). This was not the reaction I expected, I thought there would be yelling and a long lecture. Telling my mom went well, but now all i could think about was my dad and how disappointed he would be. Sure enough, my dad had that disappointed look on his face, but he didn't turn me away. He wanted to know my plan, how my boyfriend reacted, and if he's be in the picture. My advice to you is to be upfront and honest about it. Also be prepared for the questions. It won't hurt to discuss the different issues with your parents, but have an idea on how you are going to get through it all. Best of luck to you and I'll be praying for you!

Mary - posted on 08/03/2012

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Hi Kris!
I guess if you are considering telling your mother is because you are almost sure to keep your baby. I grew up in a very conservative house, and it was really hard to tell everyone. My mom found out because I look extremely pale!! it was a relief she took it easy, but the lecture came later...Regardless, I followed my aount's advice and work wonders for me. She said to me, whatever your situation is, enjoy being pregnant, feel happy, smile, take pictures of your belly, dream about your baby, just enjoy that magical bond you will share forever with that little person growing inside you. Now, 14 months later, my baby is spoiled by everyone around her, even my boss lol. I am expecting my second one, my mom didn't seem so happy about it, but I'm keeping this baby because it is my responsability. I know even though it seems like the worst timing ever, life is a blessing and this baby will also have tons of love. All it matters is the love and dedicaton you can provide to your child. You'll see all the sacrifices, long nights, desperate moments are worth and more when you see your little one smiling, holding your hand, giving you tons og hugs like mine does, or just looking at you and giving you peace. I wish you the best of luck on your pregnancy and telling everyone you need to. Remember it is not a crime to be a single mom if that's your case, and don't forget to ENJOY YOUR PREGNANCY, before you know it, you can be holding a beatiful being in your arms

Kristy - posted on 08/02/2012

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I was 22 when I got pregnant with my daughter and I was terrified of telling my mum. I'm not even sure why, maybe because I'd only been with my partner for 5 months. I ended up ringing my Dad and told him, and he told my Mum haha.. she then rang me and was so over the moon and excited I didn't know why I was so scared in the first place.

Kayla - posted on 08/02/2012

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By the way, I was only trying to be funny :) I was 19 when I got pregnant with my first. Not married, not even dating, long story.. I was very calm when I told my mom, she took it well too. She was worried for me, but she didn't come down on me. My advice would be to make sure you are open to listening to what she has to say about it. In my experience anyways, people process information better when they have had their chance to give you advice about it.

Jessica - posted on 08/02/2012

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I feel for you. While I was 24 when I got pregnant, my boyfriend (now my husband) and I had only been dating for 3.5 months and I hadn't told my family that I had split from my ex boyfriend (my family lives in another state and I was in a long distance relationship). I had one of my best friends by my side to support me when I made the call. My mom cried and was shocked, and my dad was disappointed in me (I'm the youngest and gave my parents their first grand child), but they both got over it. You just need to make sure your parents are aware that you are an adult, you are responsible and ready and able to "lie in the bed you've made", so to speak.

Good luck! I feel for you, but also congrats!

[deleted account]

I got pregnant with my first at 21. I was newly married. My side of the family reacted great, my mom was certainly worried but happy.

Now my husbands family wasn't so pleased. There were even talks of paternity/conception date from his aunts. I had gotten pregnant the week after we were married, they are they time that thinks you should wait 5 years before having kids. My FIL was the happiest about it and was very supportive. By the time my MIL and SIL came around I was miscarrying.

Some people will never be happy. There isn't much you can do about it either.

Michelle - posted on 08/01/2012

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I grew up in a very religious household. Meaning, NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE. Which i did, I got pregnant at 19 and didn't know how to tell my mom either. she always told me pretty much that she would disown me if i did. She found out just by watching me and realizing i was eating healthier than normal and just asked. She reacted way different than I thought. She was comforting, and after the initial shock was happy for me. You are an adult and if she really wants to have a relationship with you she will get over it and be happy for you :) My suggestion is to be happy about it when you tell her. Dont give her the opportunity to bring you down or be upset with you. If you look disappointed then her reaction is more likely to be negative. When you approach her be set in your feeling about your pregnancy. If she believes that you made a mistake, make sure to remind her that her disowning you would be an even bigger mistake. Your child is a miracle and she should want to share this amazing experience with you. Good luck. :)

Ashley - posted on 07/31/2012

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Hi Kris, First, congrats!!

I say don't tell your mom until you have a grasp on what you want to say. You need to able to stand your ground on your decision - lovingly of course - but if you want to keep this baby, make that clear. If you want to choose a different route (preferably adoption, I believe every baby is special!) then take the time to make those decisions. You don't have to choose right now, but just give yourself enough time that when you speak to her about your pregnancy, you can make your voice clear. You are the mother of this baby. You get the choice. I do suggest some outside counseling. Find a birth center, or birth counselor (adoption agency usually give free counseling even if you aren't choosing adoption). You are not the first to go through this and there are lots of people who will support you no matter your decision. Hopefully your mom will be one of those people, but if not, find people who will to help you through!! I think you will find lots of support here on the boards! ♥ Congrats again!

Kris Bernadette - posted on 07/31/2012

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Thank you all guys for supporting me and giving me your advice and also for sharing your stories. I will tell you how my mom reacted when I finally tell her. Thank you .


P.S.
I need prayers for me and my baby for our future.

Kris Bernadette - posted on 07/31/2012

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Thank you all guys for supporting me and giving me your advice and also for sharing your stories. I will tell you how my mom reacted when I finally tell her. Thank you .


P.S.
I need prayers for me and my baby for our future.

Kris Bernadette - posted on 07/31/2012

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Shirley Van Wyk
hi. no i did not tell her yet.. still confusing how will i tell her about my situation..

Maretta - posted on 07/31/2012

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i understand how scary it can be i was 20 when i got pregnant and sooo scared to tell my mother....I couldn't get the words out heart pumping.....tears flowing....ees red...i just said i have something to tell you.... I"M PREGNANT & i know you wanted better for me but i am keeping it. My mother response was.....I ALREADY KNEW. Of course she was mad and disappointed but she was a great sense of support at the end of the day and loves and adore my daughter. BUT it was hard and scary

Tracy - posted on 07/31/2012

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I don't know your situation at all - especially if YOU are happy about this pregnancy. I was 17 when I got pregnant with my son (who is now 15). It was kind of easy to tell my mom but telling my dad was hard. I had only known for about a day or so when I told them so I really hadn't even figured out how *I* felt about it all yet so I couldn't expect to think how they felt. But if YOU are happy about this pregnancy, then announce it happily and your mom will follow your lead (eventually, if not right away and assuming she's a normal and rational human being). I suppose the big thing is to just show you are ready for all of this: a job (or somehow an income to support the child), a place to live, a plan in general. The more prepared she sees you are then the more likely she'll be supportive. LOL, even if you sound a little naive - we are ALL naive with our expectations with our first child - just keep her on board with the lessons you are learning along the way and you guys can really share this event together.

(again, assuming she is a rational human being. If not, suck it up and just love every minute of this event and don't let ANYONE try to destroy it for you because there will be people lining up around the block to make you "realize" all the things they think you should know. And, in the scenario that you AREN'T happy about this pregnancy, your mom will likely be a great source of support.)

Christa - posted on 07/31/2012

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Go out to lunch, coffee, ice cream, wherever you will feel most comfortable and just tell her. It's terrifying I know from experiance, but there isn't really a good round-about way to do it unless it was planned. The best thing to do is to tell her as soon as possible though so she has time to take in your news before baby arrives, you don't want her finding out through somone else, and mom's are full of great advice and can offer support- even if they're mad.
Good luck and congratulations!

Heather - posted on 07/30/2012

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you just have to do it. I was 17 when I got pregnant with my 1st. i was out of school and on my own living with the father and it was hard but my mom got over it. at 20 i had my second and 23 my third. take her to lunch or just call her. The sooner the better. Good Luck

Jodie - posted on 07/30/2012

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There's no easy way to do it.. regardless of if she's initially happy about it or not, she won't stay mad forever. And you need your mum by your side. Just visit or call and just blurt it out.

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