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Im a Single Mom and my 4yrolld thinks he can boss me and his gramma around and...

Anastasia - posted on 12/30/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

14

10

Hello, I am Anastasia a 20yr single mom/student of a great, happy, lively, smart, demanding 4 and a half yr old Timothy Alexander...Well here is my dilemma...

Tim Tim is now starting to follow me around the house constantly. If I am running upstairs to get the phone at 1pm in the afternoon, he is running up after me saying 'MA YOU'RE MAKING ME MISS MY SHOW!!" ...mad because he's got into this new thing where he is afraid to be in ANY room by him self, day or night! I am going insane! I cannot get a chance to rest in my bedroom while he is in his even though we can see each other, he will not be in a room alone. If it is time for Oprah to come on, I cannot watch it without him screaming and going to the cable box and changing it because he will not stand for me to watch TV in the livingroom, because he wants to watch Wubzy or whatever! But when I go upstairs, oh no, theres even more screaming because I left him downstairs byHIMSELF. I have beginning recording my shows so that if he changes the channel, I can just rewind, but record or not record, I still have no time to breathe! Let alone go to the bathroom by myself. I have a bathroom in my room, and he is too afraid to go in there without me. Now I know you may ask if anything spooked him recently..NO. Maybe something on TV, I don't know. I ask him why he is afraid and almostthink he is too s/embarassed to tell me. He will get mad when I start questioning him on why. I am not sure if this is way to get attention, or if he is just being rebellious, or if he is manipulating me because I am a woman and there is no man here. His father lives in NY, we live in PA, and we make the short 4 hr drive once a month to visit 3 days out of the month. Now, while we are there, he is good as can be, no screaming for the TV, none of that nonsense, he is not afraid, or doesn't cry when it is time to go in the room and go to sleep. Is he taking advantage of me, is he really afraid of something, is this a phse. What do I have to do to get EVEN 5 MINUTES OF FREEDOM!? He won't go to sleep until I lay down with him and pretend to be asleep (another 40 minutes out of my freedom) . If he wakes up and Im not there..well that goes the whole night, he caught me and he won't go back to sleep, thus disrupting his sleep schedule. After 3 weeks of waking up at 5pm, going to bed at 7am, I JUST got him back on schedule. He is not a bad kid, but he is, I dont know this is the first time he has given me this much distress as you can see its 5:22 am, I have not slept due to the fact I had all of my Oprahs' greys anatomey's and some more shows to catch up on...you get the picture...ANY HELP..SUGGESTIONS...ADVISE?? Now I have lashed out TWICE and gave him a nice tap to his behind ...whats he do (laugh about 3minutes later n thinks its a game of tag)!! I AM HOPELESS!!!! He does not act like this with anybody, I mean anybody else, he minds and all...what do i do!?

WHAT DO I DO!? I AM GOING COMPLETELY INSANE!!! I cannot shower alone, use the bathroom alone, go in the other room to have a quiet conversation on the phone...nothing! Please help!


. He is very bright, can repeat anyone's conversation in a heartbeat. Knows how to dial numbers (memorizes them), can find his shows on TV w. the menu guide...umm can turn the computer on and knows how to get directly to NickJr.com . Well, I am a single mom, and last Christmas his Daddy (27) thought it would be cool to get him a Playstation 3 (what do you think about those?). Anyways, he will be starting kindergarten next fall and he has yet to know his ABCs or 123s. I have bought the flashcards, the games, the Hooked oh Phonics, everything!! He just will not sit down and concentrate for me. How are your 4 year old's doing, and what do you suggest? All he wants to do all day is watch NickJr...THATS IT, oh and eat. Not healthy at all....
Any suggestionson how to get him to focus and learn them....any cool games? Since he is on my tail 24/7 it shouldn't be that difficult

Thanks for helping a mom in distress!!!
And If I am out running errands or at the gym or anything, basically if I am not there, he is giving my mom holy hell, who works 10hr days 5/wk...what do I do? Spank him,beat him, lock myself in a room, lock him in his room? I am hopelessley hopeless at this point, I am breaking down as I write this!

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2 Comments

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Sarah - posted on 12/30/2009

1,520

14

I would suggest getting him into a preschool program. That will help both on behavior and on the ABC's and 123's. From reading your post it sounds like he is playing you. If he can be left in a room alone with someone else then you know it is not a fear. One thing to make sure is that you are giving him some one-on-one attention during the day. I know this can be VERY hard sometimes when trying to get everything else done that needs to be done in the day, but that will help. The other thing I suggest is that sometimes it is ok to let him have his tantrum, but that does not mean he will get his way. Right now you are teaching him that if he screams enough you will give in. So when he wants something he knows to scream and make trouble and then he will get it. What I would do is explain the rules and maybe even see if he could come up with some house rules that may help the family out. Even though he can't read you could write them on a big piece of paper (makes them feel special when you write down something they suggested). Then when he throws a fit for not getting his way put him in a corner away from you, but in the same room. Don't have any toys or things that he could play with around the corner. Let him throw his fit and you go on with what you are doing (ignore the fit). When he is done throwing the fit go over and ask him if he is ready to come and play or snuggle with you. This will then train him that if he wants to throw a fit he can, but he won't get your attention or his way. But if he compromises and does not throw a fit then he can be with you. The biggest key for this to work is to be CONSISTANT. If you only send him to the corner sometimes and give in sometimes then you make it worse of yourself. What then you are teaching is that sometimes if you throw a fit I will let you have your way. So he will always throw that fit thinking that this might be the time you give in.

Ashlea - posted on 12/30/2009

189

13

My daughter is only 10 months old and follows me everywhere. Set aside time for just the two of you. Find something he likes to do like an activity. Gradually move away from him each time you do this activity and pretty soon you will be able to do things alone like going to the bathroom.

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