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Im about 5 weeks pregnant, 22 years old with a loving and caring fiance. My mother and that side of my family do not accept my fiance at all and they are heartbroken that I am choosing to go through with my pregnancy. They are pushing me to get an abortion and I am afraid that I will lose contact, relationship and love with them. How can I deal with this? I want my mother and the rest of my family to be there for me and accept mine and my fiances choices, but they simply wont. Is there anyone out there that can give me some advice on this stressful topic?i

Jordan - posted on 05/15/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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If anyone has advice that constructive that they can lend me that would be great. I have the support and acceptance of my fiances family, my family is another story. Everyone seems to hate him for past actions and from thing that they hear from other people. To them he is the worst person in the world. I don't know how to change their minds about him, they say that they never will. How do I live through this without hurting anyone? To them, i have hurt them beyond repair by being with my fiance, getting married very soon and having a baby. All I want is to be happy and they continue to doubt and badmouth everything that I choose to do with him. Because they have had children with men who left them or did not support them they automatically think that the same thing will happen to me. I need some help with this........

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Grace - posted on 05/16/2012

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I found myself in a similar situation at the same age and now my husband only knows my parents and siblings. I realized that he has not met the rest of my family, and they've not met our daughter who is 3 now. I married him with a very reluctant blessing from my parents and their relationship with him has not improved much despite their effort to connect with him. So I now basically have two separate families. Mine and his/ours.
Our stories are not exactly the same, but you should ask yourself if you can live without one or the other. Or if you can handle being split between your newly growing family and your immediate family and loved ones? If nothing ever changes after today, will you be able to live with the tension and separation. How do you want your child to know their family? What do you expect from your fiancé? Yourself? Your family? In terms of getting along respectably.

Babymama - posted on 05/15/2012

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Family....for the most part only want what is the absolute best for you. From reading your post it sounds like there could have been a few bumps in the road for you and your fiance and they probly just want to protect you. If you and your fiance have been able to move past whatever happened in your relationship and you believe that things have really changed for the better....then i believe that everyone deserves a chance at a family themselves. Starting a family is the biggest decision you will ever have to make which im sure you already know. The things i would ask myself in your situation is this: Have things really changed for the better or am i just seeing what i want to see and ignoring what i dont? Am i really ready for a baby and a wedding or is the baby the cause of the wedding?....hear out your family and really listen to what they have to say. Listening only takes a few mins-hrs lol and you dont have to follow anything you dont agree with but it sounds like they love you. I totally support you on not having an abortion

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