Is 9 years old to early to have "the talk"?

Liz - posted on 02/17/2009

Thanks to all of you moms!  You are all just FABULOUS!!!  Thanks for all your advice! 

Kerry - posted on 02/17/2009

I was very young when my mother started talking t me. She told me that she did not want t leave me to learn tings on my own. She wanted me to be able to realize certain things that are going on and be able to identify what was going on. If we watched a movie she would say do you know what that means? And then she would tell me. She wanted me to be able to go to her with whatever question I had. Which I was a good thing for me. She did not try to just ignore the issues that have been going on around me.

Stacy - posted on 02/17/2009

i say try wat you think is best i new about sex from about 11

as i got my period and boobs at 11

first in my year

but my mum was open about things like virbater and men.

i will tell sky wat she need 2 know i think about 10.

i just make sure they can but comdom on correct.

do with blind folds and nomral that wat i found they did teach at school

and be open about the pill it help lots

Stacy - posted on 02/17/2009

i say try wat you think is best i new about sex from about 11

as i got my period and boobs at 11

first in my year

but my mum was open about things like virbater and men.

i will tell sky wat she need 2 know i think about 10.

i just make sure they can but comdom on correct.

do with blind folds and nomral that wat i found they did teach at school

and be open about the pill it help lots

Amanda - posted on 02/17/2009

The best thing you can do is ask her what she knows... what she wants to know.... and go from there. Correct any misinformation promptly that way she knows she can trust you and will come back to you again when she has more questions. Leave the conversation open so that when things come up you'll be the first person she comes to. You know your daughter better than anyone else... Just be honest.

Bernadette - posted on 02/17/2009

Nope...not to early at all!  My 9 1/2 year old gets off of the bus with some outrageous information from the 5th graders!  My daughter came home from school knowing how you have intercourse and oral sex...of course she was told that you get pregnant from oral sex.

She's in 4th grade and they are about to start "Family Life", learning about the hormone/puberty changes.  She's already developing so I figured that now is the best time to start really talking to her.

I do keep it very technical and am 100% honest.  I'd rather her know the truth from me than believe stories from other kids.  I think that when they start asking questions, it's the right time to start talking to them about it.

Nicole - posted on 02/16/2009

i dont think it is too early. my son is 8 and i had the talk with him and got a kid frendly
book (i think it was called sex, puberty and all that stuff) in which we read together to help him not only understand what was happening with his body (he kept asking why his doodle would go hard) and for him to understand what was going on with me as i am now 13 weeks pregnant and he wanted to know how the baby got in there!
as long as you do it in words that your daughter would understand and not the technical words for things then you should be ok

Chassi - posted on 02/16/2009

 I think the right age is when they are little. Teaching them to love themselves, love their bodies, teaching them they are special, teaching them that their bodies are private but special, always listening, always teaching, always letting them know they can talk to you and come to you about anything. I think the conversations and talks are different depedning on the age of the child. But, the biggest thing is just being in communication with your child and to make sure they know they are loved and adored. I think being open and honest with them will let them be able to rely on you and come to you for anything which I think any parent would want! I think only answering the questions they are asking and in a way that they can understand is important. They may not be ready for all the details. I think you need to be asking questions and seeing where the child is at in their thinking is important too.

Christina - posted on 02/16/2009

i got the talk when i was nine... actually my parents gave me a book called "where do babies come from" to read as well as another book that showed and told the differences between boys and girls... i was glad to have read those books at home because when they taught us in 4th grade and 5th grade, i understood what they were teaching us and i didn't feel embarressed by not knowing anything... plus i started my period at 11... it helped knowing ahead of time that this was going to happen... dr.'s say that girls are starting their periods as early as 10... i would suggest trying the books and if your husband doesn't want her to learn about the male body, then you can cover up the pictures and pages until a later date... good luck!!

Kate CP - posted on 02/16/2009

I had my period when I was 10. Start talking now and don't stop. Offer books, videos, anything. Just make sure she knows where babies come from and how to prevent it from happening.

Amy-Toby - posted on 02/16/2009

I am usually the one to talk to our daughter.  Only because it is a little awkward for the child to talk about those types of things with the parent of the oppositie sex.  

Debbie - posted on 02/16/2009

HI! i would say now is a fine time. middle schoolers in princeton nj had  the head of school talk to them all because alot of kids got caught giving oral on the bus and one at the park. they were in middle school. this happened a few years back so i think now is the time. look at the two 13 year olds who just became parents.  good luck!!

Debbie - posted on 02/16/2009

Quoting Liz:

Is 9 years old to early to have "the talk"?

I know that my daughter has been having some hormonal issues. I heard from another mom that kids are getting interested in sex as early as middle school. I have been explaining the changes that her body has been going through as they occur, but what age is the right age to have this talk?

Liz - posted on 02/16/2009

She hasn't said to much about it.  She does have the American Girl Book. . . .I Luv it!  I think we are actully going to touch on it tonight after hubby and I go over some things!  It makes me nervous!

Amy-Toby - posted on 02/16/2009

Is she asking lots of questions???  If so...Do you want her to learn from you or from from someone else...(kids or other adults)???  I had the talk with my daughter when she was 9, BUT she was VERY inquisitive.  If she isn't asking too many questions.. I might would have waited a little longer, but definitely before middle school.  I recommend the American Girl Book... The Care & Keeping of YOU.  It is a GREAT TOOL for young girls.  I am so thankful I found it.  My daughter will be 12 this year & she loves talking to me about the things on her mind.

Liz - posted on 02/15/2009

I know !I just can't believe at 9 years old they have to learn about such grown up things.  I heard from another mom that a lot of the little middle school boys are having girls perform oral sex and they don't think that its sex.  After I picked my jaw up off the floor that's all I could think about!  Parents are not being responsible in educating their children.  I would just die if that was one of mine . . .

Jennifer - posted on 02/15/2009

Absolutely not! It is better that your daughter hear everything from you rather than hear it from her friends at school who are probably have no idea what they are talking about. I think it is very important for you and your spouse to sit her down and explain everything from pregnancy to STD's. I think you will be glad you did and that opens the door for her to feel comfortable coming to you about concerns or problems if she feels like she can really talk to you. Good luck. I know it will probably be ackward...I am dreading the day I will have to do it but I think its a great idea!

Liz - posted on 02/15/2009

You moms rock!

User - posted on 02/15/2009

I don't think it's ever too early to have "the talk" as long as you gear it towards whatever age your kids are. 

Jamie - posted on 02/15/2009

I am having the same issue with my almos 9 year old.  The things that they learn in school and from other kids now a days is insane.  It is the scariest thing I've had to deal with so far.  My take on it is, you know that they are hearing things in school, so I would rather talk to my daughter about it early so that she has the correct information instead of info coming from another 9 year old who has no idea what they are talking about.  Unfortunatly society today is forcing our young children to grow up so early, and we as parents are not ready to deal with it.  We have to learn to deal with it so our children can trust us. 

Liz - posted on 02/15/2009

I think this has got to be the hardest age.  I know she listens to what I say to her when it is really important, but I've got to say that I am pretty stumped on what to say to her.  My Husband doesn't think she's ready for it and he doesn't want me to give her too much info.  I am very honest with my kids so it's hard for me to not just tell it like it is.

Heather - posted on 02/14/2009

my daughter is 7 and i had a watered down version of the talk with her. you should build up to it, and check back later. if you talk to her about it a couple of times she might feel more comfortable coming to you or asking you some questions the next time you talk again. one of my friends in elementary school got her period when she was 10, i know that is unusually early though. but you should do the talk when she starts, just in case.

Crystal - posted on 02/14/2009

I learned about it in school at age 10 (I think) so if you want the info to come from you, it's about the right time to start now. Just try to be patient and answer all her questions.

Liz - posted on 02/14/2009

I know and it scares me.  A woman I used to work with, well her 14 year old had a baby last year.  I was shocked out of my mind.  My husband thinks that it is too taboo for her to know about things like this.  He still sees her as his little baby, which she is, but i don't want her to be unaware.

Brittney - posted on 02/14/2009

I don't think it is these days kids are doing things earlier and ealier. . . my sister had a frind that was pregnant at 12 years old!! better to prevent