Is he being sneaky or am i worrying too much?

Kendra - posted on 08/31/2011 ( 18 moms have responded )

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My bf keeps his phone on lock and I don't like it. Should I be worried? Am I wrong for worrying?

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I dont think your worrying to much. My husband and i have been together for 6 yrs. Neither of us have nothing to hide and know we can get on email, phone, or whatever whenever. If its not a work phone or a phone he uses for work I would wonder. I'd just ask him not fight, but tell him it bugs you.

Katherine - posted on 09/08/2011

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I've been withmy hubby for almost 9 years, we share everything!! He does keep his phone locked and I don't ask to go onto it, that is his space. at times I do go onto it, to make a call or check a msg while he's driving that thats it, if he doesn't ask me to go onto it i don't.

I do however check his emails weekly, sometimes daily as he always forgets and askes me to do it.

We have nothing to hide, we both know each others passwords for phones, emails, fb, bank accounts etc.

You should trust your bf, but sit him down and explain to him how you feel

Ashley - posted on 09/08/2011

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Personally i feel like you shouldnt be looking at his phone. I never looked at my ex boyfriends phone in the 4 and a half years we were together and he wouldnt dare look at mine. I never had anything to hide i just feel that is something thats personal. Having to look at his phone to me is having trust issues. I dont agree with snooping around but hey that's me. I'm not a jealous person and dont have trust issues. The way i feel is if he's cheating well then there's the door...have fun and i can find so much better

Kayla - posted on 09/06/2011

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My boyfriend keeps his on lock too. He's really into computers though and has a lot of things on his phone that could get messed up, like the wireless remote from his phone to his computer... ha. But it does worry me sometimes.

Jenni - posted on 08/31/2011

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Personally, I'd be a little suspicious if my SO kept certain information locked. Why lock it if you have nothing to hide?



I'd ask him why he has it locked and if I could see it?

Sure he's going to say/think you're being jealous and ridiculous but... it's all in his reaction to it.

If he laughs and says... "Sure hun, take a look... I've got nothing to hide." That's the reaction you're looking for!

but...

If he laughs and says: "You're being ridiculous, you've got issues, you're being jealous..." or gets really angry and defensive and doesn't let you look... he's just trying to turn it around on you so you look crazy and he can get out of showing you the contents. I'd be worried if that's the reaction you receive.

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18 Comments

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Yurena - posted on 09/12/2011

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I don't think asking him to show you or sharing your fears would make any difference. He'll either be defensive or let you see it, or think you are possessive and controlling. In any case, he may delete compromising stuff at any time. If you are worried is it because you tend to think stuff like that in general (bofriends cheat and so on) or because he shows some signals (like texting or talking away from you for example)? I don't think you are necessarily wrong, nowadays it seems so common to cheat and so easy that one can easily get caught into it. Good luck.x

Darci - posted on 09/12/2011

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I dont think I would be worried I think everyone locks their phone. If my phone isnt locked buttons might get pushed in my purse. I have called ppl on accident before when my phone wasnt locked. especially for guys when its in their pocket constantly. Touch screen phone especially if my phones not locked things always get opened on accident.

Traci - posted on 09/12/2011

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For starters it is his phone.. His friends and family. If they are people you talk to as well, you should have their numbers in your phone. I don't like people go thru my phone, I am not hiding anything, but it is a privacy issue. Now, for the flip side. If he has nothing to hide it shouldn't be a problem. I keep my phone locked so my kids don't get into it or if I was to ever lose it, person finding it would not gain access to all my personal stuff. There are many reasons a person could or would keep their phone locked and if that's the basis of your worried behavior, I think you might be over reacting. However, both my hubby and I keep our phones locked and neither of us see an issue with it. Maybe there is an underlying reason, maybe you are having trust issues with him or have in the past? Honestly, I think your making a mountain out of a mole hill. But to calm your insecurities, talk to him about it. Tell him that it makes you wonder if there is something hiding in the locked phone and say you don't want to invade his privacy and be given free roam of his phone, but maybe there is a way for him to calm your insecurities.

Stifler's - posted on 09/12/2011

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I keep mine on lock so I don't ring 000 or a random person when it falls around in my handbag. Are you talking about that or locked with a pass key?

Keri - posted on 09/11/2011

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It's easy to unlock a phone - even my 4 year old can do it! Many of them lock on their own after a long period of no use - my husband's does that. Others you have to lock yourself, like mine, but there's an 'unlock' button on the bottom left of the home screen.

Melissa - posted on 09/11/2011

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some phones lock automatically, both phones i have had back in canada lock automatically and never been able to set it so it can't lock!

Ashley - posted on 09/09/2011

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see if there is history with that then yea i'd probably feel the same way. Have you seen the messages he has sent to other women?? i know myself i have a lot more guy friends than girls and we are very close but we have never been attracted to eachother. I send them text messages and fb messages all the time, sometimes daily but it would never be anything for my boyfriend to worry about. If it was more than that then yea i would be concerned. Especially with him always trying to look at your phone. It almost seems like he's looking to fault you for something because he's feeling guilty of something. I could be totally wrong but if it's in his past i would be a little worried myself. I'd definately have a talk with him. You may get some ease with that or you may not but you will never know unless you atleast try to sit him down and tell him how you feel.

Stifler's - posted on 09/09/2011

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if he's talking to other people and doesn't want you to know, he'll delete the texts. so it wouldn't matter whether you looked at it or not. i'm thinking maybe he just wants something for himself that he doesn't have to share. i'm the same way with my mobile phone and facebook and email accounts, they're mine... don't touch.

Jessica - posted on 09/09/2011

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be careful...you need to explain to him how you feel and ask him why he keeps it locked. i can understand from both point of views. maybe he feels like its the only thing he has that he owns for himself. guys need to feel like they are in control. if you are trying to invade that space they do get very agrivated and try to protect that space. but i have also been in a relationship where a guy kept every single thing from me and even if i witnessed him doing something he would lie to my face. so i do understand why you would be worried. you need to make sure he doesn't feel threatened by you otherwise you could have problems in the future. just explain to him how you feel and hopefully that goes well :)

Kendra - posted on 09/09/2011

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Well the reason i say it worries me is bc he's had facebook conversations/text messages/calls with other females before and I feel like he should have his own space but when you've not been so honest in the past and have to hide things it doesn't make the situation any better. I'm not a jealous girlfriend by far but I won't tolerate getting played either. i'd rather ask questions than sit and worry myself crazy and waste time. But he will look at my phone when i'm not around and I don't keep mine on lock. He won't admit to it but he does and my purse when he feels like it. I just feel like it should be equal and no secrets why lock it and be so uptight about it if you have nothing to hide?

Jodi - posted on 09/06/2011

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Meh, my husband used to lock his phone. It was so the kids couldn't accidentally do something on it. I never knew the pin, but only because I never asked. Maybe there is a reason he keeps it on lock. If he likes to lock it at work, or around the kids, or when it's in his pocket, maybe it's just habit. Just ask!

Kendra - posted on 09/06/2011

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Thanks idk anymore he swears he has nothing to hide but still won't let me see and keeps it on lock. Yet they wonder why women have trust issues...ugh men

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