Is it appropriate for a father to be naked in the presence of his 3 year old daughter after he takes a shower

Jesica - posted on 12/08/2010

I'm not saying that parents that choose to let their kids see them naked is wrong either. I'm only saying that it becomes a point when every parent has to decide when they are no longer comfortable about it. I come from a back ground where I was sexually abused as a child so I do tend to look at things in a very different way. That's where my comfort levels are and it's fine for me. I wasn't ever trying to make the accusations that parents that let their kids see them naked is abusing their kids. I don't know if that comment was to me or not so I'm only making it clean that I never tried to imply that. People have all different back grounds that shape us to who we are today and how we parent our children. There is no right or wrong as long as the children are being cared for. Regardless of the reason for a parent to allow or not to allow their kids to see them naked, it shouldn't be taken into the context that they are doing their kids harm.

Danielle - posted on 12/08/2010

I wouldn't worry about it. We don't cover our bodies up in our home. Maybe I'd find it a little more worrisome at age 7+.

Katherine - posted on 12/08/2010

Look, I never ment to say him being NUDE was any type of sexual activity. I am just saying that there are people out there, and parents just dont see til it is too late. Like I said before,it could have been nothing. But that it truly the parents call. Not mine. You posted it up there for the comments... I am commenting. Keep your eyes open to the many possibilties. You keep them closed... your kicking your self in the ass.

Kristy - posted on 12/08/2010

Can I just say that IN NO WAY is child abuse is any form exceptable and the issue here is nudity not people who abuse there kids. And these are to completely seperate issues!!!!!!!! Being seen naked by your kids is NOT AT ALL a sexual act!!!!!!!! just thought i would throw this in as I can see this topic going completely down the wrong track!!!!

Medic - posted on 12/08/2010

Wow that just turned it from innocent to not.

Kristy - posted on 12/08/2010

Let me just say I in no way said you were harming your child! now what i was trying to say is children learn alot from our actions as well as our words, and if your actions reflect that your body is not somethnig that they are allowed near or allowed to see then that is the self image you are teaching not saying that is wrong or right! I just think we should consider the messages we are unknownly sending our children. And to the "whore" comment, my friend never saw any of her family member's naked never talked to her mother about how her body works, went to an all girls school and was raised in a wealthy household. Her aunty took her to buy her first bra. Her mother was extreamly modiest and she had sex at 13 because some boy told her thats what you do if you want to be popular. So i dont think that giving your children education makes them "whores" I just think that teaching our daughters good self esteam is extreamly importaint. Oh and i will say if you think your child at 3yrs old is look or touching you in any other way then a parent/child mannor then you have got to reconsider the way you think. A 3yr old shouldnt know any other way except for a child /parent mannor!!!!!

Savona - posted on 12/08/2010

I dont think its in-appropriate. In my opinion its kinda odd to see all the mixed reviews on the subject, with the way our world is now I guess I can kinda understand why some people are so insecure about their bodies, but even in books and such its said for the parents to start calling the body parts what they are at changing times around the age 2. Of course children are going to ask questions >.>, theyre going to point and figure out that mommy has a vagina and daddy has a penis at some point, its not like youre doing something actually in-appropriate like having sex or something. THAT I could totally understand and is totally unacceptable.
The body is the body and if children are curious theyre going to touch themselves and ask questions and I believe as the parent you have to answer their questions and teach them about their body and the opposit genders body.
I hope I didnt offend anyone with my opinion. Goodluck on the subject =)

Wendy - posted on 12/08/2010

If it is just a matter of him being naked momentarily until he puts his clothes on, I don't see any big deal. That's normal for a lot of families. 3 is pretty young to have permanent impressions, and there would be no reason for her to form any if it's just daddy doing his normal routine. I would let him use his judgment and if he senses her being uncomfortable then hang a robe or some boxers on the back of the bathroom door for him. :)

Medic - posted on 12/08/2010

I believe Kristys reaction was because of the implied undertone that the rest of us are harming our children. And the lovely implication about whores.

Jesica - posted on 12/08/2010

Kristy, it's one thing for a child to be curious and look. But when the child starts touching, it's crossed the line. Plain and simple. And just because a daughter sees her mother naked doesn't mean they can talk to their mother about anything. I saw my mom naked all the time and couldn't talk to her about most things. Being comfortable talking about things should come from talking about them at a young age. Educating them before the schools do. Not seeing a parent naked. I'm happy for you that your comfortable having your mom and daughter see you that way, but I'm not. So please don't act as tho I'm harming my daughter from future talks because of it.

Christina - posted on 12/08/2010

I think it is sad that in today's world that it is viewed as wrong for a child to see their daddy naked but not mommy. For us, nudity ends when the parent and or child feels uncomfortable. Only our two youngest sons (ages 4 and 5yrs old) see Daddy naked. On the other hand, everyone still sees mommy naked, including our 10yr old son because no one will leave mommy alone long enough for me to get anything done, including dressing, showering, and pooping!

Alecia - posted on 12/08/2010

my daughter is 14 mnths and i tell her the names of things. and i am going to teach her to be comfortable in her own body. doing so is NOT going to make her want to dress like a whore....that is one of the most ridiculous things ive ever heard. Its SELF-RESPECT that makes a woman want to dress appropriately and make sure she is ready before she lets someone else touch her. I want my daughter to be confident in who she is so she doesnt go looking for the wrong attention. information is powerful

Ashley - posted on 12/08/2010

I have a 3 year old son and a 9 month old daughter, we have never hidden ourselves from either of them... it isn't an issue, they are just body parts... if asked questions we answer them... that's it that's all... nothing weird or wrong about it.

Taylor - posted on 12/08/2010

i am also really surprised that so many people are just flat-out saying it's inappropriate!
i totally agree with jennifer and nicole. it's JUST a body. i think if you educate your children about the human body well and you teach them what is wrong and right and who should not see them naked, etc. there shouldnt be any issues. my family was very open and i've never been a "whore". i was a virgin until i was 18 and the father of my daughter is the only person i've ever slept with. i can't say that for many of my other friends. especially those who had very strict and censoring parents.
kids are SUPPOSED to ask questions. its how they learn.
don't hang out all day naked, but it's not going to permanently damage your child to see their father naked when they're 3.

Natasha - posted on 12/08/2010

i dont think its that big of a deal. its up to you though. my 4 year has more then once seen her dad right out of the shower. but we r a very open family..if she asks i tell her i dont sugar coat anything for her. Id rather her learn through me instead of somewhere at school or on tv

Jodi - posted on 12/08/2010

LMBO, I saw my parents naked often, and my sisters too to boot and I certainly don't dress like a whore...go figure, neither does my mother, my father, or my sisters. I was also 19 and engaged to my now husband before I had sex, oral or otherwise. I find it just as ridiculous to avoid the human body because of questions as it is ridiculous to avoid it to hope your children grow up to dress appropriately.

If you ask me, girls dress like little skanks for many reasons and come from both sides of the issue. If you don't teach your daughter to respect her body (and other's bodies as well) and be comfortable with her body, then chances are, she'll make poor wardrobe choices. And that's whether you allow nudity in the home or not.

Medic - posted on 12/08/2010

Just because a person is comfortable in their body does not mean they are going to dress like a whore. We had a very open family growing up and I have the same with my kids and husband but when I am out in public I have always covered up, even as a teen. That has to do with self respect not being comfy in ones skin. It is my job as a mother to teach both a healthy sense of body image and self respect to my kids. They do not go hand in hand.

Kyla - posted on 12/08/2010

That one is extremely iffy....as my son gets older I am getting more ccareful about being naked around him....but at the same time I don't want nudity to be such a huge taboo. I haven't made big deal out of it, so it's really no big deal to him. My only hope is that if he sees it around the house, then when he is older it's no big deal. Not sure how I'll handle it when my daughter is older because my husband also wanders around the house naked after a shower. Our daughter is 10 months now and just sees daddy....not what he's wearing. I'd say play it by ear and answer any questions she has....if she starts getting a little too curious, then it may be time to call it quits with the nudity. Good luck!

Sarh - posted on 12/08/2010

I avoid my daughter and fiancee being naked around each other because I don't want her growing up being too open about showing her body. I never showed my body at home and I was very shy about doing so w/my boyfriends which prevented sexual things from happening. So, I am not avoiding my fiancee being naked around my daughter or vise versa to avoid questions... what a stupid thing to even say and/or do! From not walking around the house naked and not seeing my mother or her partner naked and vise versa I did not find it appropriate to dress like a whore. I had a few friends who would even tell me that they walked around their homes naked and are now quiet the whores! Sorry for the profanity.
Just my personal opinion.
Another thing I can't stand is if my aunt (not even blood related) has my daughter over night and showers w/her. Anyone except ME (mom) is just creepy. There are pervs everywhere! And even though I know no one I allow my daughter around would do anything to her I still take all precautions in protecting her and keeping her safe at all costs!
The people who often hurt people are the people you would last expect!!! And the ones closest to you.

Kareemah - posted on 12/08/2010

not at all. they should be taught to have some type of shyness, father around daughters, father around sons, mothers around daughter and mother around sons... even sons and daughters around eachother.. just my opinion

Kristy - posted on 12/08/2010

by the way my daughter is 14months and already knows the word boobs and points to them, its quiet cute when she points to her father's cheast and says boobs too!! i like that my daughter is smart enough to understand body parts at her age!! she also knows nose, hand, belly and toes. As she points to different body parts i will teach her the name of them regardless of what part of the body it is.

Kristy - posted on 12/08/2010

Jessica, i agree if you feel uncomfortable then dont but all i will say is how do you expect your child to be comfortable with her own body if she see you being so secretive about yours? I understand with different genders it being more of an issue but a mother not being able to be naked around her daughter? you carried her with that body and feed her with that body and one day are going to have to sit down an explain to her how the female body works. So what if she looks and is curious? she is going to have all the same parts one day herself and wouldnt you like her to know she can come to you if something is wrong or she is not sure of an not feel embarrassed. To this day I have no issue with being naked around my mother and i am so greatful that i can talk to her about ANYTHING and its not akward. Its the kind of relationship we should have especially with our daughters.

Jesica - posted on 12/08/2010

I'm gona say this as best I can without sounding like a total perv. BUT, it's a lot to do with comfort levels and the child's level of interest. If the parent is starting to feel like they are being looked at in a non parent/child manor, then it's time to stop. Or if the child is wanting to touch it's time to stop. I'm a woman obviously, but I won't dress in front of my daughter. She see's me and wants to touch and know why mommy is different, she's only 3. She crossed my comfort level a few months ago, so I put a stop to it. If you or your husband feels that it's time for privacy from your child, then it's time to have it. That is a decision that only the two of you can make. People will ridicule you and tell you your child is only curious sure because they feel it's their place to do so. Don't let anyone make you second guess the decisions y'all make as parents. ONLY you know what is best for your child and where the limits are.

Laura - posted on 12/08/2010

i personally dont see the problem i let my 16month old son in the shower with me and he often takes a bath with his dad. he never points pulls or touches anything, more interested in soaking the bathroom. I think you should do whatever you are most comfortable with after all she is your daughter.

Jodi - posted on 12/07/2010

This always makes me laugh when people freak out at kids seeing their parents naked because "oh, no, they might ask questions". So??

My daughter is 5 and she sits on the toilet and talks to her dad while he has a shower....naked. Whoopy doo. Honestly, I don't see why it is SUCH a big deal.

Tasha - posted on 12/07/2010

I really think that it is only as big as a deal as you make it.. Also if you feel that is something that is private and hush hush then by all means make it always be hiding. But really as i am reading post i can't help but think...Come on people the kid is 3.... so do u remember 3 that clearly!!!!

Medic - posted on 12/07/2010

I am kind of shocked at the reactions of some moms, I was brought up that the body is a beautiful thing and we should not be ashamed. I have an older and a younger brother and we had to share one bathroom and we went camping and such as a family and I'm sure we all saw things and seeing as I can't remember I am not scarred by it. We have a four year old boy and almost 11 month old daughter and they take baths together and my daughter showers with either me or her dad. My son doesn't anymore but that is more of his choice. He walks around naked more often than he should but neither my husband or I run to hide if he walks into our room and one of us is changing or hoping in or out of the shower. I do not want to send the message to either of my kids that the human body is shameful and something that only leads to sexual acts. If I can't be open with my kids how do I expect them to be open with me.

Sarh - posted on 12/07/2010

I don't think so! My fiancee is not my daughter's biological father, but even if he was I would not allow it and he doesn't want to anyways because she is a girl. It is just not right!

Nicole - posted on 12/07/2010

I don't see it as a big deal. We are pretty open in our family. Not to say that we do daily tasks in our birthday suits, lounge around naked, allow our children to be privy to our sexual intimacy, etc. but we don't hide ourselves when getting dressed/getting out of the shower/etc. We are family and there is nothing wrong with the human body and we are, after all, family and not strangers. Not to mention that I have breastfed all four of them and that means that they have seen my breasts on numerous occasions, whether latched on themselves or seeing their younger sibling latched on. I think that this will help my sons understand the true meaning of a woman's breasts and that they will always respect the miracle that is a woman's body. We are also very candid with our children about how children are birthed, how they develop (this was easily initiated since I have been pregnant so many times) and (by age 8) how babies are created. It is ongoing dialogue we have with our children. We have found being totally open with our kids about those things helps us to have conversations about their own bodies, differences between boys and girls and men and women, and to always ask us if it's okay to get naked in front of someone else (like a doctor, etc.) before doing so/good tough, bad touch and so on. I personally feel that when we go through so much effort to shield our children from basic anatomy, we set them up to be confused about it as adults (hence, think breasts are supposed to be for sex and not for feeding babies) and maybe worse, not be prepared for what to do should they encounter a pedophile. Again, I am not saying we make extra effort for our children to see us in our birthday suits, but we don't go through extra effort to hide it. It is after all the same body which gave them life...

Cassandra - posted on 12/07/2010

by age three children are supposed to know the real names of their own body parts...and start comparing with others over the next year or so...its ok to talk to her so she is informed...however i kno it makes my boyfriend uncomfortable to have our three year old daughter in the room wen he is naked...but she also already knows the body parts and grasps the idea that boys are different from girls in certain ways

Good Day! - posted on 12/07/2010

Antoinette, children are not any smarter or more curious "these days" than they used to be. It's society that is changing and making everything "sexual". If we make a big deal out of daughter seeing daddy, then they will think it's a big deal. If we shrug it off and honestly answer whatever questions come up, they'll learn about their bodies from us, not society.

Kristy - posted on 12/07/2010

ive been thinking about this topic since i last posted and though to myself, my kids are going to be 16months apart and different sexes. So im sure they are both going to learn and see the difference between boys and girls. which the more I think about it, there's not that much difference between seeing your mum, dad, brother or sister naked. So I hope we can make our children feel confortable about there bodies and teach them the correct information. I'm not saying though lets go hang the washing on the line in the nude, just that if your changing or showering there is no need to make your kids feel uncomfortable about seeing you naked.

Chrystal - posted on 12/07/2010

I don't think it is appropriate.

Kate - posted on 12/07/2010

I think as long as hes not dancing around or just relaxing naked in front of her its fine. If he is getting dressed right away I see no problem with it. The only reason I stopped letting my son in my room when I was changing is because he got too excited about my boobs.

Kristy - posted on 12/07/2010

I grew up in a house with my mother and sister so we were naked around each other being 3 girls. And I love the fact that all 3 of us dont have body issues at all and have very healthy self esteams because we were always taught that the human body was nothing to be ashamed of. I now have a daughter and will be the same with her, but I'm letting it up to my partner to decide how he feels being naked around her if he is uncomfortable then he will cover up, but I have no issues with the human body, And I think its great that kids get the right knowledge from you there parent, also I think its opens the doors of communication as nothing was ever "hidden" between my mother and us girls :) i am pregnant at the moment and expecting a boy, i havent really thought about the naked issue with him, but thinking about it I would like him to be just as comfortable with his body as well.

Antoinette - posted on 12/07/2010

Personally, right now with the intelligence of our kids, Yes! They are soo curious from birth that it's not funny any more. Long ago they would have seen and not given it a thought but that was then and this is now and we need to remember that

Jaime - posted on 12/07/2010

I don't know about anyone else's ideas on this, but personally I wouldn't want my daughter seeing my husband naked. I mean, most of the time I don't even want to see him naked! Not to say he doesn't have a great body, but still...I wouldn't want her to see me naked either. But I have self-image issues and don't even like my husband seeing me...

Stephanie - posted on 12/07/2010

i believe at the age of 3 yes it is.

April - posted on 12/07/2010

i do think its a personal choice in the matter, but my personal opinion is that 3 is probably getting to the age where she shouldn't be seeing her father naked. my dad had 3 girls and always covered up and shut and locked the door in the bathroom but my mom and my sisters and i were always in the bathroom getting ready with each other and getting in and out of shower due to having 4 people getting ready at once and only one bathroom. i have two daughters of my own now and my oldest (21 months) takes a shower with me and follows me in the bathroom constantly but her daddy is very uncomfortable with her seeing him naked at all and does not want a part of it. so to each their own. 3 years old is still young to me but i know they grow up fast!!!!!!!

Emma - posted on 12/07/2010

no not at 3 years old they begin asking a lot of questions at that age but thats just my opinion as i was brought up that everything was private shut the toilet bathroom door etc so its totally up to you!

Callie - posted on 12/07/2010

I grew up in a house that left the doors open (and still do). I plan on continuing that with my daughter (and future children). My 13 month old daughter follows her daddy when he goes to the bathroom or showers and I think its fine. When she becomes uncomfortable with his nakedness she'll stop following him into our bedroom/bathroom. I think it is very healthy for kids to learn about their bodies and important to learn the difference between boys and girls at home where they can get the correct information. Also if you hide from your children and don't let them ask questions they will learn that they have to get their information somewhere else. And when they're 16 I would like my daughter to feel she can talk to me about boys, sex, and birth control rather than hiding it from me. That way she can have the right information and be safe.

Jodi - posted on 12/07/2010

I find it kind of funny this is one of those areas that we DON'T want our kisd to ask questions or be curious or learn something! lol I think it would be inappropriate if he were just cruising the house naked 24/7, but a few minutes post-shower to dry off, get dressed or whatever...big deal. One day, she will learn what a penis is, what it looks like, what it does etc etc. Would you rather she see Daddy's penis and ask you what it does, why he has one etc etc and YOU teach her...or wait until she meets a boy or has a chat with her girlfriends at a slumber party and becomes seriously misinformed?

I can remember seeing my dad naked on occasion growing up (such as after a dash from shower to bedroom, or changing in the morning) and I'm not traumatized, I learned what it was and why he has one and I think I'm all the better for it! lol The human body is natural, why pretend we don't have what do in fact have between our legs? No biggie!

Good Day! - posted on 12/07/2010

Again, I ask, what' wrong with kid's asking questions? It's not like you have to explain the entire reproductive system when she asks why daddy is different. "Boys and girls have different parts" is a good enough explanation for a child that young. Why shouldn't they know that?

Candi - posted on 12/07/2010

I think he needs to cover up if he is lounging around the house like that in front of her. But, if it's just a walk from the bathroom to the bedroom to get dressed, then I really don't see the problem with it. Your daughter will eventually notice the difference in her body and his, and will ask questions, but just be honest about it and explain to her why they are different. No need in making up cute names or nicknames for parts of the body, that she will discover the true name to in school or from tv one day. My daughter knows certain body parts, but knows that there are public places that she really shouldn't say those words in case it offends someone or they prefer not to use those words in front of their children. I would just figure out your comfort zone with this and his. If he is comfortable and it makes you uncomfortable, then maybe you two can find a happy medium that is ok for both. Just talk to him about it.

Rachael - posted on 12/07/2010

i don't think so. usually by 3 they are asking questions and that's when nakedness of the opposite sex parent should stop

Kimi - posted on 12/07/2010

If it feels weird for either of them he should cover up. If she's really smart and you think she will remember seeing him naked as she get older he should cover up. If she points and laughs he should cover up. He just needs to be trusted to use his own judgement.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 12/07/2010

No not a big deal, unless he chillin on the couch in his birthday suit watching the football game :-0)

Caitlin - posted on 12/07/2010

As long as he's not really walking around naked, I don't see what the big deal is.. Eventually she needs to learn that girls have vaginas and boys have penises, and that boys and girls are different. Pick up a cute little book for kids about the differences, and let her learn about it and read it together. I'd much rather teaching my daughter about it at home, then I can teach her about how they are pirvate parts, and we don't take our clothes off or touch anybody elses private parts, and nobody should do it to her either... They are never too young to learn that!

Good Day! - posted on 12/07/2010

Meh, I don't see the big deal. What's wrong with asking questions and knowing about the human body?

Alecia - posted on 12/07/2010

i guess it depends on how yall feel about it. my hubby wont take our daughter into the bathroom with him or anything. thats his comfort lvl, so fine. if we had a son (im a SAHM) my son would def see me in the bathroom, etc, at least until it became an issue. i have no prblms teaching my kids appropiate names, or explaining in an age appropiate way, what the parts are for and y they are different. my daughter was ony BF until 5 mnths, but she still likes to pull down my shirt (and sometimes hide things in it!!) and i tell her that those are breast (or boobs) and that they are for feeding babies! i think if ur husband is getting out, and getting dressed and not lingering in front of her, its not a big deal. if she ask, just tell her some info. it is ok for kids to know that boys and girls are different