is it me or am i just a nagging female when i ask for help even if its as soon as my partner arrives home from work im now expecting my 4th??????

Kenna - posted on 05/09/2012

my husb. did the same thing. then i decided i was just done doing all the work. so if he didnt get up at night when i was really exhausted and was barely getting sleep. i would take the baby in to the room sit the baby down by him and sit there til he would get up because she would cry so much. it seems mean but it only took him a couple of times before he understood that i wanted him to help and that it was just as much his job as mine. and he would say well im home all day and i would say its not like im on vacation at home relaxing. i might not be doing serious hard labor all day but taking care of kids and house and everything else is very exhausting too especially running on half the sleep he was. now we both work full time doing the same kind of work so he has no excuse at all to try and get out of helping and im way less tired coming home and taking care of them after a long day of work than i ever was being home all day. being a stay at home mommy is tiring work which is why i wanted a job. i feel like its my break and when i get home i'm so happy to see my kids i dont need breaks once i'm home.

Amy - posted on 05/08/2012

Maybe if you gave him about 30 minutes to wind down from the day and then he picks an activity to do with the kids that is 30 min to an hour so you can have alone time as well. I know my husband gets home with my son before me (he is a teacher so his day ends earlier), but when I come home he needs a few minutes to wind down. I understand and let him have it. He in turn gives me a few minutes to transition into the day as well. I wish you luck getting your hubby to see that staying at home is just like (actually when I stayed home I thought it was harder in some ways) having a job. You need down time to. :) Maybe he should be in charge of the kids one whole day (from getting up to going to bed) just to see how hard it is.

Stifler's - posted on 05/08/2012

I get lie ins on Sundays. I wish damo got home at 3.

Stifler's - posted on 05/08/2012

I get lie ins on Sundays. I wish damo got home at 3.

Amanda - posted on 05/08/2012

Not at all, they're his kids too.

On days my hubby is home at 3pm or before he goes to work at 7.30pm he has one job, either bath the kids or wash up. If he can't do that, he has to make his own lucnh and wash his own clothes.
If he has a complaint about something that's not done, or not done the way he likes it he has 2 choices. Do it himself or shut up.

My kids are up by 6-6.30am every morning and in bed by 7. I work a 13 hr day every day, no lie ins, no sick days, no holiday. Some hubbys really need to pull their fingers out

Stifler's - posted on 05/07/2012

What time does he get home from work? My kids go to bed at 7 so I do whatever I want after that. If it's not done it's not done including washing and dishes. If damian has a complaint about that he can either help to get it done faster or do it himself.

Liz - posted on 05/07/2012

You've been working all day too! I suggest keeping a log of everything you do each day and how long it takes you to do it. Unless your partner carpools, he at least gets the time to and from work to himself. It is not unreasonable for you to expect a few minutes to yourself each day. I also have 4 kids, and I can't even go to the bathroom by myself, so I know how you feel!

Toyss - posted on 05/07/2012

thnkyou for your reply i was hoping im not making to much of a deal out of it i understand tht he works but still at the end of the day i want him to realise he still has responsibilities his children and they always look forward to seeing there daddy everyday afterwork everythings done once hes home from work its jus little things exactly like wot you sed maybe helping out with bath time while i do something else like finishing our dinner off but geez sometimes it seems like im asking to much from him and then turns into one bg argument i just cnt b bothered asking now but thankyou 4 sharing ..

Louise - posted on 05/07/2012

No thats not fair. Most husbands do bath time or something to help their wife out. A quick fix to this is go out for the day leaving him with all three kids and a list of jobs he needs to get done. Then he will appreciate that going to work is actually far easier than staying at home raising kids.

My husband always does bath time with our little girl and did bath time with our older sons who are now adults. He also did night feeds on a Friday and Saturday night so that I got two nights a week full sleep. I did the others because he was working. Relaxation time has to be shared or the other partner will be resentful. Your husband needs a kick of reality.