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Is it wrong to want another baby when you partner does not want another?!

Lindsey - posted on 08/14/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am 26 yrs old and I have two gorgous kids. My son just turned 2 last month and my daughter will be 4 in a week. I have been having some as you can say some "mothering feelings". Me and my son daddy have been together for over two years now and have been friends for over 10! We had discussed a little before our son was born that he did not want any more kids. He has a daughter from a previous relationship and he has the most babymama drama I have ever seen. And because of that, he said that he was done.
But here I am originally thinking that I wanted at least 4 before I got my daughter, then I changed it to 2 when I go preg with my son, and after him I said no more! Somehow, I think that I am up for the challenge again though, and I think that I do want more kids. I had gotten the Mirena put in after my son and I still have about 3 yrs left before it is removed to decide. My boyfriend sometimes talks about it and then he again returns to "I don't want no more" attitude. So I am stuck. My kids are a handful, my oldest is very active and some slight behavior issues, and my little one is like non-stop running. So sometimes I do not know if it is the best to have another.
Someone with advice?

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4 Comments

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Whitney - posted on 05/10/2012

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LINDSEY I AM IN THE SAME BOAT I HAVE TWO LOVING SONS ONE WILL BE 5 IN JUNE AND THE OTHER ONE JUST TURNED 2 AND I ALWAYS WANTED 3 KIDS AND WHEN ME AND MY BOYFRIEND GOT TOGETHER WE DECIDED WE WANTED 3 NO MORE THEN 3 BUT KNOW I WANT ANOTHER ONE AND I CAN NOT GET HIM TALKED INTO HAVING ANOTHER ONE EVERYTIME I ASK HIM HE SAYS HE DOSE NOT WANT NO MORE AND WHEN SOMEONE ASK HIM IT IS THE SAME BUT I DO WANT ANOTHER ONE AND I ALWAYS WANTED A LIL GIRL.....


I WOULD SAY TRY FOR ANOTHER ONE:)

Melissa - posted on 08/14/2010

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there isn't anything wrong with wanting another one even if he doesn't. You are young and have plenty of time to have another child. wait the three years until you get your mirena out, and then see how he feels. By then your kids will be older and easier to handle, and he may not have as much "baby momma drama" by then. Sounds like the baby momma scared him out of having more kids. Maybe there is some doubt hidden there that makes him think he doesnt want anymore because he thinks you two arent going to last, and he doesnt want even more drama. You both need to talk about it, not now but in a few years. Give it some time, and tell him exactly why you want another one.

Bonnie - posted on 08/14/2010

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I am going through something similar. My boys are 2 and almost 4. I want another, but my husband does not. I can't seem to get the feelings to go away though. I don't feel 100% complete and I don't want to have any regrets for not having another down the road.

If you are going to wait 3 years, it's probably best to forget about it, unless you want that age gap. My kids are handful too though so I know where you are coming from.

Chrystal - posted on 08/14/2010

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Im in the saaaaame boat as far as children go. I have a 4 year old boy who is extremely active and several behavior issues that im currently trying to work with, and i have a 15 month old son who is like a locomotive; non stop moving around. But my fiancee (father of both) absolutely doesnt want anymore children. He says two is enough.
But im just dying to have a baby girl. Not anytime soon though, just maybe when we buy our first house and settle down long term.
Maybe just talk it out. If hes weary of a new baby idea, it may be because of the babymama drama with the other woman and he does want anymore stress. Talk it out and see if maybe you can come up with a good plan and make sure you are on the same level as each other because if something happens and you do get pregnant, you dont want more drama/disagreements. :] I hope this is helpful, like i said, im kind of in the same situation...

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