Is my five year old's behavior abnormal?

Maria - posted on 03/30/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have an intelligent (probably too much so for her own good) energetic five year old daughter. Her little brother is nine and half months. She has indicated on a number of ocassions since he was born that she wants to be a baby again and indicates that her "brain is sad." She has been acting out by not listening, yelling at my husband and I, refusing to clean her room, talking back and just screaming in general. Most recently, she has become extremely weepy. In fact right before I posted this, she began bawling her eyes out over her corn in the sink...indicating that the sink just couldn't handle it....I mean she literally sobbed about this.



She seems to adore her brother, she plays with him, brags about him and gives him love all the time, but I am not sure how long I should be waiting to ensure she adjusts before trucking her off to the doctor's office, as I am afraid they may prescribe medication that I am not ready for.



She also has a vivid imagination and at times when we are trying to talk to her about her behavior she reverts into talking about her imaginary pets or friends...not blaming them, but holding a conversation about them as though we were not just talking to her about her behavior.



I guess I am just hoping that someone out here has something similar going on and would help me see that this is completely normal because I am so worried.

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Ashley - posted on 04/01/2012

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I was five when my sister was born. And I refused to have a sister. I was so mad that I screamed and yelled. I was finally ok with it when my mom allowed me to pick a name for my new sister. But even after she came I was still jealous. I don't remember too much, but I remember that it was hard not being 'first' any more. So I have to agree with these other ladies. Make sure she comes first in a lot of things. I think that's key for a child that age.

Angela - posted on 03/31/2012

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im in the same situation. my son just turned 5 a week ago and the same day his little brother turned 3 months. i have noticed the same behavior in him that you have described..it is not everyday but mostly when he is tired or hasent had much mommy time. his phrase is "i cant handle it/this"...it breaks my heart. we do ask that friends and family greet him first and we include him in anything we can think of. the few people i have confided in have assured me that his behavior is normal. its great to know im not the only one out there :)

Kay - posted on 03/31/2012

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Maria,



You are most welcome. My son was just about to turn four when my youngest was born, and we saw similar behavior. I freaked out a bit too. :)

Anna - posted on 03/31/2012

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I think it is normal. My sister was born when I was 5 and I remmember that I wanted really bad to be on her place and be a baby again.. however, i dont remmember my behavior. I recommend to put her on first place every time it is possible. Because she wants attention that she had for 4 years when there was only her. I read several books on it before my younger daughter was born and what I found out was that the best thing to do is to "keep the order" - that means - the first child comes always as the first, and the second one as the second - the first one gets his meal first, in the morning you help to dress up to the first one first, the first one gets a kiss first, etc.. I also asked any visitors (grandmas, friends) to pay attention to the older daughter first, when they came...



This had really a great affect! She got over the shock that she was not the only one anymore very fast. Now they are 3 and 5 and they are best friends. I dont have to do this "first one - second one" thing any more, because it has been solved. But I recommend you to do it. Of course if it makes sence to you...

Maria - posted on 03/31/2012

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@Kay.



THANK YOU! I was beginning to worry so much. I think what it is, is that the other parents I know had their children much closer together and did not have such issues as say age two, so trying to get feed back from them made it a lot harder to see that what is going on is normal. Thank you for your comment.

Kay - posted on 03/30/2012

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She sounds normal to me. Every kid reacts to a new baby differently. Reverting to prior states is normal, and at five, their imaginations really take off, so you see an uptake in imaginative play and imaginary friends.