Is there some sort of mom help hotline?? I'm going insane

Renee - posted on 05/16/2011 ( 15 moms have responded )

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I'm going to lose my fucking mind!!!!!! I apologize ahead of time, I'm just typing like I'm thinking and not bothering to censor myself. If it's not one thing it's another, it feels like I'm so frustrated with my daughter lately, she's 7 and I know she's at that age where she's not very capable of being responsible but it's like almost everyday and definitely every week she's losing stuff at school. If it's not a t-shirt it's a jacket, or a book, or a water bottle, or a snack box.. or SOMETHING.. she's just ALWAYS losing shit. And my daughter needs glasses and soon I'm going to start having to send her to school with glasses and I KNOW she's going to probably lose them unless I tape it to her head. Wtf? I can't keep buying her glasses if she keeps losing them. I get frustrated because lately it feels like EVERYDAY she loses something and sometimes it's recovered but other times it's not but then I get mad because we just spoke about this the day before! And then, me.... I feel shitty.. because I yell. And I know it's doesn't help but it's like oh my god....... every.... fucking.....day.. REALLY? And my daughter, she's smart, she has a good memory.. she remembers everything but when it comes to her own personal belongings.. all that goes out the window. I tried taking things away, things she likes, privileges that she gets.. but nope. That hasn't been working. I don't know how to teach her to be responsible for her own things.. or how to not forget her things.. I'm at a loss. Some help please?

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Schyla - posted on 05/17/2011

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Try getting her a pair of cheep sunglasses to get in the habit with and then maybe some kind of reward system say if she remembers to take her sunglasses to school and remembers to bring them home she gets a check and once she's done that every day for two weeks she gets a card and once she has 7 cards she gets a reward by then perhaps she'll be in the habit of remember the sunglasses (and if she loses those it's not a huge deal) then when she's got her glasses it'll just be a habit. you may have to remind her at first do you have your glasses? did you remember your glasses where are your glasses but some people are just forgetful and need someone to help them remember

Carly - posted on 05/17/2011

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Does the stuff eventually make it home or is a bully maybe taking it from her and she doesn't want to tell? Can't hurt to ask.
Can you make her a list and literally pin it on to her bookbag or something? Tell her she needs to make sure she has all her stuff with her before she leaves school. She probably just got a whole load of crap crammed in her head, she's got kids yapping her ear off and she just wants to get the heck out of there and leaves stuff behind. I can sympathize, as I had to go back to work not once, but twice today for stuff I forgot LOL

Karen - posted on 05/17/2011

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Are her glasses for reading only? Maybe she could keep a pair at school in her desk/locker. As for her forgetting stuff, maybe teach her to stop and think before she leaves the house. Tell her to do that at school too. Take a few min to make sure she has everything she needs to bring home. Make sure everything has her name on it somewhere so that the school will know who it goes to if they find it. Ours will bring it right to the child if it has a name on it. Or maybe just the teachers name/grade if you don't like putting her name on stuff for safety.

Michelle - posted on 05/17/2011

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wow i can't believe no one has suggested this you can get the necklace like thing you put on the glasses and then she can wear them around her neck so all she has to do is put them on her face and then when shes done they can just hang on her chest, go to walmart can't be more then 10 bux...

Tara - posted on 05/17/2011

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My 7 year old is always leaving her stuff at school. Not necessarily losing it, but forgets something every day (at the moment I know she has a pair of flip flops, a sweatshirt or two, and probably some winter clothing, still in her locker at school. But, she's 7. I remind her each morning to try and remember to bring all the stuff she has forgotten, home, but at the end of the day, she's had so much fun playing with friends, she just doesn't remember. At the end of the year, I figure we can check the lost and found and make sure she hasn't left anything there. I try not to worry about it. It's frustrating, yes, but she's a kid and she's bound to lose/forget things. I just make sure she isn't taking anything to school that would be horrible if she lost (ex. a nice necklace or something like that..since her jewelry tends to be taken off at some point during the day). It's just not worth getting upset about because there are many, MANY more years ahead of her and she is going to lose/forget many more things..some that will actually be important and if I get worked up over every little thing she loses/forgets, I would go crazy..hehe.

As for the glasses, will they be glasses for all the time or just reading glasses? If she has to wear them all the time, you shouldn't have a huge issue with her forgetting them. If they are just reading ones, then yeah, I could see her leaving them behind now and then. Just make sure she has a sturdy case to put them in, with her name on it. Those will be something completely new to her, so she definitely won't be used to having to remember them. But who knows, she may love them so much (most little kids seem to be really excited about the idea of glasses) that she makes sure they are always with her :)

Good luck and just try to relax :) The more you stress about it, the worse you (and her) are going to feel. Just take a deep breath and remind yourself that she's a kid and it's bound to happen. Just gently, keep reminding her to try and remember her things.

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Stacey - posted on 05/17/2011

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Renee, I have a 7 year old that was losing and forgetting everything at school, stores anywhere we went it was always something. she lost her purse twice, once at a play at the college and she had put most of her allowance in it!! after i had told her to leave it at home! but think she would listen of course not she snuck in her room and got it anyway. huh anyways i did get her purse back it was turned in at the lost and found and i couldn't believe it when i saw the money still inside. so to teach her a lesson i took it out and deposited it in her account but told her it was gone. she cried and had a fit for a while but i just acted like a well you didn't care enough to make sure to remember it so a well. after that she leaves her stuff in the car if she wants to bring something with her. as far as school goes when she forgets stuff i take away important things and she cant get it back until she brings what ever it is she forgot or she loses 50 cents for everything she forgets from her allowance. and i leave it at that. at seven years old they do start to know better. Ive noticed she has no problem remembering the things that are really important to her.

Sara - posted on 05/17/2011

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If its homework, make her stay out for recess to complete it. I bet when she no longer has recess she will start remembering.

Sara - posted on 05/17/2011

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#1-Dont buy expensive items that will piss you off if she loses them
#2-Buy any items that will hook onto each other.
#3-Reminders to her for putting things back in its place
#4-Get the sports version of glasses that wrap around her head or try the ones that when she takes them off her face it has a chain for around her neck
#5-Figure solutions to make your frustrations better before they happen.
Remember if it doesnt clip, chain, fold into her pocket, or hang from her neck...dont send it with her.

Ashley - posted on 05/17/2011

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Hi i was your child lol my pore mom i got glasses and i remember having to dig through the trash to find them because i would forget them on my tray. I lost them all the time it was a huge stress for me as i would get in a lot of trouble if i was caught without them. There are a few sights you can order prescription glasses for really cheep. if you can buy say 3 or 4 for the same price as one it will be a lot easier on everyone. Also if she gets an allowance you could make it all penny's in a jar if she forgets she looses some penny's until the end of the week happens.

Carly - posted on 05/17/2011

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and btw- they sell glasses insurance. seriously, i'm not kidding. buy it when you get the glasses. they'll repair or replace broken or lost glasses.

Tara - posted on 05/17/2011

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I had thought about suggesting that necklace thing, but at 7, it's very likely she won't be careful enough and may snag it on something and end up breaking the glasses (at least I know my 7 year old wouldn't pay attention well enough for something like that).

Stephanie - posted on 05/16/2011

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i could totally understand y u are upset being that she about to get glasses soon and then if she lose them u gonna keep having to buy more which is a lot of money maybe u should buy two glasses cuz knowing her she will lose it some kids lose thing i have a 13 year sister who left her twlight breaking dawn book at school i wanted to kill her because that book is not cheap but i did not buy her the book but the price is crazy and it had a cd in it so i understood how my mom wanted to kick her butt but she did not instead she told her to leave it at home cuz a kid gave my sister back the book me i would had grounded her but i dnt have kids of mines own yet i am a mom to be but she might grow out of losing stuff when she in high school i have another sister who always lost stuff till she was in high school and all the years my mom yelled at her the same way i really think it went out the window so in the meantime u might have to bear with ur child not being responsible its gonna take a lil longer but i do agree with stephanie when she lose thing dnt keep helping her unless its for glasses

Renee - posted on 05/16/2011

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Stephanie - I know.. most of the things she's been losing really aren't a big deal but I just need her to learn or I need to know how to teach her because she's going to need to bring glasses to school and if she loses them, I can't say "oh.. well that sucks.." because it's going to get really expensive. That's my main issue really.... I can't rely on her with things.

Stephanie - posted on 05/16/2011

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Renee I feel your frustration girlfriend. You have to let her lose some things, forget some things, and feel those consequences for herself. Don't rub it in when it happens. Just be supportive and loving, say something like "wow it really sucks to lose something so important, hey?" If you stop 'remembering' for her, and chasing after her with her things, she will slowly learn she is own her own with this stuff... I know I have been there. I am a single mother of three, and it took some very tough lessons for my little ones to learn not to be so carless with important items. Renee, this means if she leaves her backpack at home, and calls you cause she needs her homework: basically it sucks to be her.... Just be really gentle about it. Good luck!

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