is there something wrong with me?

Ms.Khulu - posted on 06/25/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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i have a 19 mth year old boy and i recently went back to varsity this year to finish my degree. i left my son with my mom and she found a nanny to assist her. i am on vacation so i am back home an dthe nanny is around. i have been apart with my son for 2 months and a half now and when i got back i found out that he had really bonded with her and he didnt know me, i mean that is obvious that it was going to happen but it really struck a cord with me and it hurt me really deeply! the girl is good with my son but she has got attitude problems and it seems as if she is out to fight for my sons attention with me and to get on my last nerve. she resents the fact that i tell her to do stuff concerning my son and she has just gotten used to the comfortable living here and she hates the fact that i am back and she doesnt have the freedom that she used to have before and now i am here to monitor her in terms of how she does certain things for my son. i have sat down with her on one occassion to talk to her and bring to attention some of her faults. this morning shit hit the fan when she just slept through the morning but letso (my son) was already up, i asked her if this was how she normally wakes up after 9. she said she was not feeling well and i asked her why she couldnt wake up and tell me that she was not feeling well still she didnt say anything. i thought this was all so rude considering the fact that this week she has been acting hoity toity and challenging me. i am a very open and sociable person i dont look down on people i want to have a good relationship with her seeing that she is the one taking care of my son but it seems as she is challenging me. i felt that i had had enuff and i told her that when she takes her money she will pack her things and go. she went to my mom all teary eyed saying that i talk down to her and ever since i came i have been mistreating her, when i try to ask her when did i mistreat her she cant even mention it. i now absolutely hate her and her stinky attitude and my mom says that the problem is with me and that because i have bi-polar i always feel that people are against me i think that this is a wrong judgement based on my mental state of mind which i am taking medication for and i feel its unfair. am i in the wrong or is there really something wrong with me?

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4 Comments

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Stephanie - posted on 06/27/2011

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nothin is wrong with you, that is your child and she should know her place in the childs life, and she isnt really responsible if she is sleeping and your child is awake, that is your choice what is done with your child, you had the baby, and no matter who comes around your son, promise he knows your scent and he knows who his mommy is

Ms.Khulu - posted on 06/27/2011

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thank you ladies for the advise. the thing is my mom is the one who found her and some times she assits me paying her.this month though i payed because i am home and after what happened on saturday i dont think my mom is going to let her go because she helps her with my son. i really dont like her but my situation doesnt allow me to go and be with my son because i am studying in another country.the only solution will be my sons father to come and see his son and do the tradition of paying my parents for getting me pregnant and officially ask for our son to come back where i am studying and where he is working i think that will be the best solution

Tara - posted on 06/25/2011

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He is your child and you need to be in control of his life and those in it. HOWEVER, if your mom is the one who hired this nanny, she needs to be the one to let her go. That being said, I believe the nanny needs to be gone either way.

I understand you are trying to finish your degree, but is there any way for your son to stay with you and for you to just have a sitter while you are in class? I understand it wouldn't be easy, but if there are going to be problems arising from someone else caring for your child on a daily basis like that, it may be the best. I would hate to see something bad happen because of you being away so often, even if it is to do something positive (ex. my friend is in the army and left her daughter with the child's father - they aren't together - while she went through her training and such in another state...now she is having to fight to be allowed to see her daughter and whatnot). Good luck to you! I really hope things get better!

Chrystal - posted on 06/25/2011

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I do not believe you are in the wrong at all. If it was my child, that nanny would have to go. And this is your child's not your mom's so she has no say in the nanny department. If you don't like her than she has to go. Hire a new nanny. Good luck I hope everything works out for you:)

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