Just a little bit of advice wanted....

Amber - posted on 06/12/2009

I agree with the no tolerance policy. If my son or one of my 8 niece's talk back to me or are behaving rudely, they immediately go to the naughty bench. The key to making it work is to not be emotional about it in any way (which is difficult). If you make it non emotional, they won't get the response that their hurtful words were supposed to and will stop. When they calm down tell them how much you love them and hug them. Being punished will make them say more hateful things, but once they know you mean business they'll almost always stop.

Dawn - posted on 06/12/2009

i have 3 children 12, 9, 6. in my house i have a no tolerance policy.. If i am talking and i get a rude comment or something i dont like i stop talking and send them to there room. i usually wait and ask are you ready to listen and restart the talking to them. Some times i have to repeat this process a couple of times. and i have heard it all in my house like " i hate you" and your mean and i always say that i okay that you dont like me i am still your mother and i love you.. this it the hardest part about being a mom but got to put your foot down! i hope this helps a little

Carrie-Anne - posted on 06/12/2009

Hi, When my husband and I split up I went through the rude tantrum stage and as long as you put an end to it that is all it will be. I believe if you are consistant and stay strong it will end soon. Children don't always know how to express themselves so they lash out on the person they know and feel the safest with. I would give them lots of your time when they are behaving well, and that is the time you need to show them all your love. When they are acting out I would not get emotional and punish them by sending them on a time out, taking pivlidges away ect., not because of what they say but tell them it is not nice to talk to you like that and it is very rude and disrespectful.
Once they calm down bring them to you and say to them something like, I want you to be open with me and tell me how you feel but doing it that way is not right. Reassure them of your love and then drop it.

Sabrina - posted on 06/11/2009

going to a physiciatrist is a good idea. i know when i was little after my parents divorce we would go to one. it was fun cause all we really did was play games and color. and we would just talk. not sure about what cant remember that much. but also if your kids go to see their father for a visit you should talk to him to make sure you both have the same rules. so that way there is nothing different. and they dont think they can get away with stuff. also maybe if their fatner tells them to treat you with respect too. if you give them a punishment like no video games for a week if they go to his house for the weekend he could carry out the punishment too. just to show you both are on the same page. hope this helps.

Natalie - posted on 06/11/2009

Hi i dont have a solution as im going threw a similar problem i have 2 children with my husband 1 3yr and other 1yr and have a daughter 5yrs with an ex. I hvae been finding quite recently my eldest has been acting up saying i dont love her not listening to anything i say. I thought it could be the fact thats she goes to her dads 1 day a week and just does not seem happy. I took her to a gp and she referred me to a physiciatrist, the appointment is next month so i hope it might help.