Just because I'm a young mom, that does not mean my family is an accident!!!

Ashley - posted on 07/06/2011

I'd just like to report that a lady working at the grocery store I went to today called me Miss and I was super excited about it. That's right, I'm a Miss today... I must have had my beauty sleep.

Katherine - posted on 07/06/2011

personally i dont think this makes any sense- Who cares what other people think. Its your life.

Hannah - posted on 07/06/2011

i feel for you i really do i get that alot and im 24 i just look youger then i am but just remember to stand your ground like i do and tell them 'if i wer you i wouldnt (assume) as it makes an (ass-of -u -and-me) lol trust me it not only does it work but it shuts them up with feeling pretty stupid bout themselfs lol

Chelsea - posted on 07/06/2011

i am 22 and have a 2 year old and just had my second daughter 4 weeks ago, i get judged all the time, we planned both of our children and i will point that out to anyone who judges me, i am also married to a wonderful guy and i great father who happens to be 6 years older then i am. We own our house and have nice cars we arnt on assistnace and i am able to be a stay at home mom because my husband supports us with a good job. My co workers were all pretty judgemental when i said we were going to start trying for our second baby, they asked why i would want to get pregnant, well cause i love my daughter and i want more children to share my love, rude people i tell ya

Colleen - posted on 07/06/2011

Unfortunately these people will always be ignorant at least we will always be good parents. There will always be people like this around but were the ones tucking our bundles into bed at the end ov d nite and hearing there i love you's. Our hands may be full but at least there full of blessings. Good luck to u all and your amazing families. chins up and be joyful for u are truly blessed. xx

Stephanie - posted on 07/06/2011

i'm a 20 year old mother with twins.. i know the feeling love. i always feel like people are staring at me like i ruined my life or something stupid like that.. people are ignorant. ignore them, you're better then that. : )

Maria - posted on 07/06/2011

I am 22 and when i got pregnant with my 3rd child everyone asked me if i was going to get my tubes tied.... even my dad he thinks that since i am young with kids that i should never want to grow my family yes this last one was a surprise and i am going through some major life changes but i support my kids and i have a good support system i am a good mom i know people that waited to have kids that got them taken away how come it is that if your young and have a child it is so bad they automatically assume your going to be a bad mom....i finally blew up on the last person that asked me if i was going to get my tubes tied i asked them am i a bad mom? they said no. then i said then why is it such a big deal if i want to have more kids. they said you dont have the money to take care of another one after this one... i said why do you think that i am going to have another one right after she is born dont be an idiot i am going to wait till i can afford to have another one. she said sorry and i told her although i forgave her she didnt need to be so mean..... you should hold your head up high and never let them get you down people are going to think what they want to think... go back to them in 5 years and show em just how good your doing and ask them whats going on in their life that is so great

Michelle - posted on 07/06/2011

I feel the same way! I feel like people judge me for being a young mom and assume that being a young mom means im not as good of a parent! I am 21 and my son is almost 11mo and just this summer alone i have had one person tell me how nice it was that i took my nephew to the pool...my sister is younger than me by 4yrs and this woman was a total stranger! I had another girl ask me how many other familys i nanny for! Kids at the park ask me if thats my little brother. its so frustrating!

Dee - posted on 07/06/2011

I honestly believe the ones who give the dirty looks or have saucy remarks are the ones who secretly wish they were a bit young when they had their kids. I mean I had all my children under the age of 30 and now that I am getting up there in age, my children are needing me less (physically) so it all works out.

Jessica - posted on 07/06/2011

It honestly sickens me that people make such horrible assumptions so quickly. I am 23 and have a 2 year old and a 7 month old, but no one has said anything like that to me before. I think you reacted in the best way you could; I would have probably done the same thing.

Sherry - posted on 07/06/2011

Don't feel bad I first got pregnant at the age of 21 and have had a 3 kids 3 years in a row and I have had people do that too me and honestly I made them feel like they were a piece of crap for assuming things about me that aren't true! I agree with you they shouldn't of treated you like that.. thats just horrable and wrong. People don't have manners these days from what I can see. Just ignore there stupidity and set them straight! You know they already feel really stupid for saying something of the sort without asking instead of assuming.

Monique - posted on 07/06/2011

Know the feeling too! I had my first at 21 and second at 24, and got the looks and remarks off some rude people, to be honest, i love being a young mum, not sure how the older mums do it! especially with all the risks after 35 with being pregs, i love the fact that i'm going to be enjoying my 30s nice and relaxed with my kids being teenagers, easier to relate to. Go all you young mums! Xx

Lilliana - posted on 07/05/2011

Ditto Tah! You need to talk to someone about that! Not ok!!

Tah - posted on 07/05/2011

Natalie..I would own that company..

Lilliana - posted on 07/05/2011

Jennifer- I think I was sweaty and waddling, I probably looks miserable as all hell! :-)

Jennifer - posted on 07/05/2011

I am surprised she said that. I am sure you look young, but wearing a wedding ring and looking like a happy mom should have sent the message! Congrats! I frequently wish I'd had my kids young!

Stifler's - posted on 07/05/2011

People always joke about there being nothing better to do here and people having "flood babies" aka conceived during the flood when they had no money and nothing to do.

Liset - posted on 07/05/2011

Oh they are so narrow minded and judgmental, it's not your fault if they are not happy with their life and feel the need of annoying others just to please themselves.

You are married, happily married. and she just made herself a clown, a laughing subject.

Ashley - posted on 07/05/2011

Natalie, I pretty sure you could press charges if your boss and manager said things like that.

Natalie - posted on 07/05/2011

my boss once asked me if i knew how to keep my legs shut and our regional manager asked me if there wasnt anything better to do in our town. and all i did was let them know i was having my 2nd child!

Tiffany - posted on 07/05/2011

Wow...I know what you mean. I am 25 and have a 4 yr old (5 in september), a 2 yr old (3 in December), and a baby that will be one on July 25th. People are so rude sometimes! First was a shock, 2nd and third were concieved on BC and I love them all to pieces!!!

Amanda - posted on 07/05/2011

I get the exact same thing. I was very, very young when I had our son (17 to be exact) He was not planned but we were determined to do our best and felt it was a blessing and never 'unwanted'. We planned for me to have our second when I was a little over 19. When I was pregnant with her I had everyone in my small town asking me if that pregnancy was planned. And granted a few times I was hormonal and iritated at the question that I would snap back "yes it was freakin' planned! Thanks!! " So even now at 25 with 4 kids I get the looks and comments all the time. I know ppl are judging me but you know what I DON'T CARE ANY MORE!! We are happily married, financially stable, a home to call our own, our children are happy and healthy. That's all I care about. You will eventually learn to just ignore it all. And honestly sometimes there is nothing wrong with being a little rude back! And we can't wait to be 41 when all our children have graduated and potentially could be grandparents!! It's exciting and I can't wait. We will still be young enough to enjoy life, go away and enjoy our family-and possibly grandchildren!!!! It will all get better! And I do agree, some of the comments and stares do come from more of a jealousy!! Keep your head up high!! And congrats!! :)

Ashley - posted on 07/05/2011

I'll trade you all! People can come say rude things to me and you can look old!!! Seriously, lets trade!

Amanda - posted on 07/05/2011

Wow, people can be so judgemental sometimes...

Kellie - posted on 07/05/2011

I was married the first time by 18 had my first child by 19 second by 20 they were 11 months apart. My oldest my daughter was the before he left for the military and my son was the when he got back. They werent planned however they were a blessing! Anyways I got mean glares and disaproving looks. People would say dont you think kids that close in age is going to screw up their developmental guidelines. In other words the mile stones they make, etc... Nope both kids are really intelligent and now I am divorced from their dad with full custody but I am also 27 in august and a college graduate with a 3 year old since then! Dont let them get to ya...I mean I get mad when people who live on welfare just keep popping out kids but I dont say anything..

Nykee - posted on 07/05/2011

I get the same thing! I'm 25, but I have 2 kids close in age (1 year, 20 days) and I'm due for baby #3 in December. Everyone assumes my second was an accident, and I get a lot of "Did you lose your way to the drug store?" about the third. RUDE! I'm happily married, we own a house, we have stable income. Why is it a crime to have kids close in age, and even more of a crime to have them fairly young. I was 22 when I had my first. I don't think that is all that young, but apparently I'm wrong.

On top of it all, my kids are clean, happy, healthy, well behaved, and well mannered. Why do people assume that my kids were accidents and that I can't handle it?

Ugh, people drive me nuts. At least we're not alone. :) Congrats on the new twins!

Nykee - posted on 07/05/2011

I get the same thing! I'm 25, but I have 2 kids close in age (1 year, 20 days) and I'm due for baby #3 in December. Everyone assumes my second was an accident, and I get a lot of "Did you lose your way to the drug store?" about the third. RUDE! I'm happily married, we own a house, we have stable income. Why is it a crime to have kids close in age, and even more of a crime to have them fairly young. I was 22 when I had my first. I don't think that is all that young, but apparently I'm wrong.

On top of it all, my kids are clean, happy, healthy, well behaved, and well mannered. Why do people assume that my kids were accidents and that I can't handle it?

Ugh, people drive me nuts. At least we're not alone. :) Congrats on the new twins!

Lilliana - posted on 07/05/2011

Thank you all for your stories!! A couple have made me cry (hormones!) you're all beautiful Mama's!

Elisa - posted on 07/05/2011

By the way, I'm 25 with a 4 year old and a 4 month old. I didn't really fit in with the other moms with my first. ( I guess I was too young) I'm taken a little more serious now, but I have fantastic kids, I'm a great mom and wouldn't change it for the world!!

Elisa - posted on 07/05/2011

You Go Girl!! Be pleased in who your are!! You sound like an amazingly wonderful little family. Don't feel bad that other people in the world see the world and the peoplein it sooooo negetively that they jump to such judgement of you! Keep your positivity!! Congrats on the twins and many good wishes to you and yours!!! :)

Dawn - posted on 07/05/2011

I totally agree. I to am a young mom sort of in the same position as you. I am 24, married, three beautiful kids, we own our own business and do alright for ourselves. But those judgmental eyes will never leave or let up so stay strong! It's not easy when your pregnant but you know you better then they do so dismiss them.

Angie - posted on 07/05/2011

That's so sad when people make judgements like that. I'm going through something similar - my pregnancy wasn't planned, and I'm not married. However I've been with the father for 2 years, we're financially stable, both have decent jobs, a home of our own, and a vehicle. Just because we are young doesn't mean we aren't able to raise kids and be good moms to them! It's a very hurtful stereotype I even had part of my own family refuse to come to my baby shower because we aren't married.

Ginnie - posted on 07/05/2011

that is totally wrong of that woman i would report to her a higher authority she had ni right to say those things to u .she works there to serve customers not judge them.and there is nothing wrong with having kids young i had 2 kids by the time i was 21 and i was by myself and yes i struggle at times but i made it and my kids are doing great. ilove being a mom at a young age.

Krystal - posted on 07/04/2011

I have been there too. I have a 20 month old and now 3 weeks pregnant. I told a lady once in a store who commented on how beautiful my daughter and when I said "oh thank you, and she gonna be an awesome big sister" she just looked at me, then at my belly said "oh that's nice, and walked away. As if to say "how dare you get pregnant again! your so young." I'm 21 and engaged....age is just a number...doesn't make you a bad parent if your young

Natalie - posted on 07/04/2011

my mother in law had the nerve to give me attitude when i fell pregnant with our first at 18, then our second at 19 and our third now when im 21. what dear mumsy forgot to mention was she was 17 and she was unmarried. so not just strangers unfortunately!

Brianna - posted on 07/04/2011

i got pregnant with my daughter at the age of 20 i wasnt married but i was engaged and had really bad morning sickness for all nine months i went to the hospital one night when i was really sick and the nurse treated me like a slut! she looked at me and said do u know who ur baby daddy is and is he in the picture? I COULDNT BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT! i was so upset i cried when igot back into my car..

Ashley - posted on 07/04/2011

I know I said it earlier... but I want this "looking young problem". I am 25 and got married at 21 pregnant 8 months later, pregnant again a little over a year after that and I'm now pregnant with our third due in Feb. I wish someone said I looked too young to have kids. My mom had a son when I was 18 and people just assumed he was mine... because that's how "old" I look. Seriously, I read on here about a woman whose son got mistaken for her little brother because she looked so young... how about looking so old your little brother gets mistaken as your son! I really want to sympathize, but honestly, I'd be so excited if some rude old lady thought I was an irresponsible young kid. I think I'd even blush. My husband looks old too. We've looked like old farts since we got married at 21 and 22. So, for all of you ladies wishing to stop being judged about looking so young as moms, just remember it could be worse... you could look old.

Tah - posted on 07/04/2011

Very rude apparently..lol

http://www.circleofmoms.com/just-debates...

Casey - posted on 07/04/2011

I wouldn't worry about or let it get you down some people are just nosy, and besides your really not that young anyways nor were you that young when you had your first child, I know people alot younger then you that have alot more kids then you and they don't get treated like that so I dunno where you live but people must be very rude there.

Tah - posted on 07/04/2011

Well haling...you are young to have a 7 year old..lol, how do I know because I had one at that age as well..by 21 I had 2... I had also finished 2 schools was close to finishing a third, had been on my own since 18, a car and a fiancée, I used to love bursting their bubbles, they shouldn't assume...but it's fun seeing them look like asses..lol



http://www.circleofmoms.com/just-debates...

Halina - posted on 07/04/2011

I understand this totally. Im 23 and have a 7 year old, a would have been 3 year old, a 2 year old and a 1 year old. People think im younger than i am too. Im happily married and have a secure home and all my babys were wanted none of them were mistakes, its always middle aged women that are stuck up and instantly think your a bad mam and stupid. Well... there proberly just jelous of what we have and they havent! x

Megan - posted on 07/04/2011

Congrats! :) I get this alot too! I have an 8 month old son and when I tell people I am expecting (I am 2 months along), I always gets looks of shock, even from my own mother. It amazes me the worry in a stranger's eyes, when they have no idea who you are, what kind of person you are, ect. I have always been a believer that babies are blessings, still am and that's usually the line I throw out when someone looks disgusted with MY choices. All the power to you Mommy, and congrats again!

Camille - posted on 07/04/2011

You were about 21 when you had your boy. You were not a teen!!!! I had my first daughter at 23 (now I'm 30) and some people were in awe at how young I decided to be a mother. It is difficult to ignore this kind of ignorant remarks. Once, I was in the waiting area of the ER because I had the stomach flu and I asked my husband to buy me a pepsi, and this middle aged woman said to the one by her side: "She's so negligent, pregnant and drinking pepsi. These teen mothers are screwed". She knew I had a daughter because she works at the gym I used to go. She assumed I was a teen and I was 26 and she assumed I was pregnant. How stupid and ignorant. I can't deal with that kind of people because they judge and they assume more things than there are.

Lisa - posted on 07/04/2011

its hard when your pregnant not to let these things not get to you! but your doing your best, i had my daughter at the age of 21 and just about any elderly woman that passed me thought i was 15 and the father wanted nothing to do with me... but with all do respect i had to let them know ... look im 21 my husband is in iraq and we're happily married he's just serving his country...anyway you know you can take care of your wonderful family , if this situtation arises again take a breath and just smile

Cassy - posted on 07/04/2011

Stick to your ground! Im 22 with a two year old. He was unplanned, but I love him to death. Im married to the father. Just wait for the questions on if your kids are your husbands kids! I get that all the time! I understand in todays age that young mothers will have different "baby daddies" but thats not the case for all of us! Good for you that youre married, secure, and loving all your children!

Deanna - posted on 07/04/2011

I know what you mean I have a 5 year old daughter who will turn 6 in August and a 4 year old son who will turn 5 in October. I found out I was pregnant when I was 23 years old with my daughter and the looks and stares I had received when I was pregnant was never ending. I had a few that asked me if I knew who the daddy was and if it was an accident that I had gotten pregant and all sorts of other questions that people would ask me. The night I found out I was pregnant I was coming home from visiting family and hadn't been feeling good that entire day I had passed out several times one night so I decided to go to the hospital to find out what was going on. When I got there they ran a lot of tests on me and one of the nurses that I had came back to me and informed me that all of the tests that they had ran came back negative except for one. I had a positive pregnancy test and she informed me that my best option would be for me to get an abortion because she thought I was to young and not capable of taking care of a baby since in her eyes I was still one. I look younger than what I am needless to say my mother was with me that night and she had a few choice words for my nurse and her boss needless to say when we left there we never went back to them as they were so rude to both my mother and I. Neither of my pregnancies were planned as I had gotten pregnant with my daughter before I was married but ended up getting married at 9 months pregnant and 14 months later had my son. I still get looks and stares from everonone that we pass at the store or anywhere but I just ignore the stares and the rude coments. I am proud to say that my children's daddy and I have been happily married for 6 years in August and I wouldn't change anything in the world for them. So yes I am a young mom maybe not as young as many of you on here but keep your head up high and don't let anyone put you down. If you are happy in your life with you children and your children are happy and well taken care of then that is all that matters. A comment from a complete stranger shouldn't matter it is only their opinion. Things happen and babies come along but life must continue to be lived. So to all of the young mother's who are out there Good Luck with your little ones make special memories with them because before you know it they will be all grown up and you will wonder where the time has gone.

Aimee - posted on 07/04/2011

i get the look all the time cause im 27 and have 5 children and they say u dont look old enough to have all these children i feel like sayin how old do u want me to look?

Colleen - posted on 07/04/2011

Shame on the nasty people puttin us down. I am 24 and have 4 children aged 6,4,2 n 1. I am married to my childhood sweetheart for just over a year now. We are financially capable. I went to a hardware store with my 4 children and my hubby to buy paint and wallpaper. on our way in my husband needed the loo so went to the public restrooms. While he was gone and i was lookin at the wallpaper 2 women walked by tutting sayin something alaong the lines ov kids havin kids and struggling to cope. I was gobsmacked but felt ten times better when my hubby returned and cud tell by my face wat had happened (this has happened to us ALOT). He gave me a big kiss and said have u chosen yet wifey and i said not without u hubby. Her face was a picture and to make it even funnier my hubby started rubbing my tummy as if i was pregnant again. It was a rite picture and we nearly wet ourselves laughing at them both. x

Natasha - posted on 07/04/2011

I used to get that from my husband's family. I had my son at 22. I'm now 27 and have a 5yo, 3yo, and 1yo. I love it and wouldn't change anything. Personally, I'm glad I'm a young parent and won't be "old" as they grow up and even "older" when grandkids come along.

Holli - posted on 07/04/2011

I know exactly how you feel, I have been with my fiance for six years, and we didn't feel the need to wait for a marriage certificate to have our six month old. I was 22 when we got pregnant and financially stable. The problem is that I have always looked about five years younger than I am, so I received countless dirty looks while pregnant, and now with my daughter. Other moms have strangers coo, congratulate and compliment over their kids, but because I look so young I get head shakes, tsks and looks if pity.