Just had a MISCARRIAGE....very sad....any advice from moms?

Rosanna - posted on 08/24/2009 ( 59 moms have responded )

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Hello Circle of Moms! How is everyone today? Well, Its been a sad sad weekend for me, & my boyfriend.



I found out I was preganant on 8/14 (Fri). Went to the doct. to have an ultrasound done on 8/19 b/c I noticed I was spotting, but the doct could not see anything in my uterus. They had me go do some blood work on 8/20 in the AM - I then started bleeding heavily that evening. SO, needless to say I had a miscarriage over the weekend. STarted on Thursday 8/20, I am still bleeding and having some pain - not as bad as Thursday or Friday.



Has anyone here gone through this as well? What can I expect? I have mixed emotions......I'm not even sure how far along I was. I was still early in the pregnancy, more than likely, less than 6 weeks. When is a good time to try again?? When does the bleeding normally stop from a miscarriage? Any thoughts, anything will help! I feel like I could have avoided this somehow, btu not sure what caused me to have a M/C. But I know “God never gives you more than you can handle”..............



Thanks all,



Rosy

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Brandi - posted on 08/09/2011

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we had taken 2 home pregnancy test sun 7/31 both were positive we were all excited and began sharing the great news..i have two beautiful daughters 7 and 11 mo..both pregnancies were great no complications..then fri evening (8/5) i started bleeding,told my husband and i didnt know what to think at first then sat i went to the er and i kinda knew something wasnt right but was hoping that i was still pregnant..well bloodwork showed that i was still pregnant but i was still bleeding and it was getting heavier then sat evening i started passing stuff so i had told myself that i had probably miscarried and i cried..well it seemed like monday was taking forever to get here for my follow up appt then when i was able to get in i got nervous then the dr said he was pretty sure i miscarried and ordered more bloodwork to be sure and to make sure i didnt need a dnc..still havent heard back yet..but my world felt like it just came crashing down i began crying before they even got to draw blood..i still had hope and cried and cried til i couldnt cry anymore and my eyes burned..it still hurts so bad and i will never forget it..but i wont lose hope on trying again although i will never know why it happened God has a reason for everything that happens...

Sarah - posted on 08/26/2009

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sorry to hear that :-( just keep trying is all i can say. I had 3 miscarriages all at 3 months before i got my beautiful son they were all devastating for me as i had just told all family an friends because i was just over the 3 months. Unfortunately there is not always a reason you miscarry , usually you miscarry due to abnormalities with the baby this is what the doctor told me anyway.

I would wait a month before you try again to allow your body to get back to normal and give yourself time to deal with it all as well.

Good Luck

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Sherilee - posted on 08/30/2009

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I had three in a years time before I had my son Andrew. Each one I bled for about a week and a half to two weeks. Give your body some time to heal. They say two years for a birth but I would say 6months to a year after a misscarriage. It will give you some time to recover physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Also as your obgyn to do a full blood panel just to be safe there aren't any problems. After my second I had my blood tested and found out that I have a Auto-immune disorder called Antiphospholipid Syndrome. It causes bloodclots in my placenta when I'm pregnant so now every time I get pregnant I need to be on a blood thinner the moment I find out. So I hope that helps but doesn't freak you out because everybody is different.

Jacki - posted on 08/30/2009

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hey ive been there to i had two and then when i got prego the 3rd time i was so scared after the first two they told me i would never have kids but i got my daughter and shes a very healthy 10 mth old so keep your head up and it will be ok your always goin to remeber your pregnacy but someday you will have a little to call your baby just think of the good things maybe it wasnt your time to have a baby and god or someone is just waiting for the perfect timeing to give you a little bundel of joy



stay happy and good luck if you try again

jacki

Amber - posted on 08/29/2009

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Hello Rosy,
I wanted to tell you, i had a m/c at 5 months into my 1st pregnancy....I was also carrying 6 BABIES!!! That was the happiest and craziest 5 months of my life. You will be sad and you need to KNOW that you done nothing wrong. All through mine every check up was good..i was on bed rest for the last 3 months b/c so many babies in there. I had the m/c August 2006!! 3 yrs ago this month..I now have 2 babies..one 7 months and one 17 months....BUT I STILL THINK ABOUT THE BABIES I LOST EVERYDAY!!! And then this time of the year is even worse. Both of my children are happy and healthy but i still never forget my 3boys and 3girls i lost. I was trying again within the month..i wanted a baby so bad..but it didn't happen..My son was not conceived until July 21 2007..and then my daughter was conceived on May 18 2008!! My babies are 10 months apart.lol...SO YOU NEVER KNOW!!!
Amber

Jennifer - posted on 08/29/2009

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Hi, I am 29 years old and have had two miscarriages, as well as a healthy 1 year old boy. I especially know how har it is to loose a baby. One of the most difficult things I found is that so many people do not understand what you are going through. I was pregnant 3 times I barely made it through, where so many of my friends have never gone through the loss so they just don't understand. I miscarried the first one at 7.5 weeks and the second at just 4 weeks. The first time I experienced heavy bleeding and cramping for a week. I did not need a DnC, the doctor gave me meds to clean me out. And the second one at 4 weeks did not require one either. We were told we did not need to wait in between pregnancies, and waited one cycle and was pregnant again. When I miscarried the 2nd time we decided to stop trying, and I was pregnant again 2 months later. My pregnancy was very scary with lots of spotting and bleeding, which required hospitalization at times, and not being allowed to work. It probably would have been easier if we had waited a little longer. For people like me that have had several miscarriages there are things the doctor can do to help you carry a baby such as taking hormones (progesterin), as well as blood thinners like heparin or asprin, and bed rest. It worked for me, and being a mom was worth all the stress, and all the discomforts.



I hope this helps,



Jen

Katherine - posted on 08/29/2009

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i am so sorry for what u went through i know it all to well i lost my first baby at 5 months and had to deliver it then lost my second baby at 2 months but carred for long time b4 we knew it almost died from the infection but my third pregnacy was a miracle she come out healthy as can be and is 19 months and weights about 37 pounds and is the best thing that ever happend to me im not sayin it dont hurt i tryed to well i was very depressed and felt like my life was over but it was more than worth itin the end of the day i wish u all the luck in the world and am soooo sorry for your lose and wsh u luck in the future dont give up

Asha - posted on 08/29/2009

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i know how it feels to lose a baby. I was taking a bath one day and all of a sudden, i started bleeding, i thought it was my period, and i called my aunt who is a nurse, she told me that you are not on your time of the month but that i was having a misscarriage, i saw bits of the small spinal cord coming out, and i knew right then and there that i was truly having a miscarriage.. With the bleeding I had it lasted maybe a week or so, so that everything can break down and flush out the natural way. But I feel your pain and whatever you were going through at the time may sometimes have an affect on if it's the right time to have a baby. I was going through alot, and God said it wasnt the right time.

I am now with child after me and my husband and I got married about around feb 21st 2009, and i concieved in april, think i was so months before we got married that i miscarriaged. Wait a while and then try again because God has now blessed us with a little one, which will not be born until jan 9 2010 (im 5 months). But I know how you feel, just wait a while and then try again.

Much love, peace and blessing

Asha F.

Lacey - posted on 08/29/2009

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ive had two miscarriages..the first one i was about 6 weeks and the second on i think i was about 8. the first time i bled for like a day and the 2nd time was pretty bad...i bleed for a while. ever since my first miscarriage i just wanted to have another baby right away. after the 2nd we got pregnant like less than a month later and that pregnancy stuck! it is a emotional time and miscarriages happen. just keep trying when ever you feel up to it! good luck! :)

Robin - posted on 08/29/2009

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Quoting alishia :

I just went through this 6 months ago but it was my sisters fault.. she hit me so hard in the stomach and thought that it was funny ... I so sad because I just found out then 2 months later I found out I was prego again... Give yourself some time to heal God will bless you he always does... :)



Im so sorry I have never gone through what you ladies are talking about, but alishia, what is your sisters problem? is she crazy? why would she do something like that? I would never forgive her after something like that. So sorry and much love to all on here who have had losses!

Amber - posted on 08/29/2009

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I went through the same thing before I got pregnant with my daughter!! I miscarried at abot 8 weeks. If it is anything like mine the bleeding can last up to 10-14 days. Mine lasted about 10 days. I was told to wait until after I had a normal period before I could even try to get pregnant again. I felt very sad and was really "down in the dumps" after this happened, but my Doctor told me that I most likely had a miscarriage because of problems with the fetus--chromosomes etc.. He said that is the most common reason for a miscarriage. Needless to say I waited about 6 weeks before trying again--and was pregnant 2 weeks later:) I still think about "what if" and I still think about that baby every so often. I know that for some reason that little baby was not meant to be here and although it is sad i am glad that God works the way that he does--I have a beautiful daughter from the pregnancy following my miscarriage--and I think I am finished having babies now that I have my boy and girl--so I think about how lucky i was to have my little girl--Healthy and Happy!!

User - posted on 08/29/2009

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hi Rosy, im very sorry for your loss. i had a miscarriage 3yrs ago. i was 14wks along, it was a honeymoon baby and we were so excited we went for our normal checkups and everything was fine then came the ultrasound and we got to see the heartbeat and it was wonderful to see. then the dr checked to see how the placenta was and everything else. then were went baby to the baby to see how fast the baby heart rate was and.... there was no longer a heartbeat our baby had just died. our world was crushed. following that they gave me some meds to help me miscarry on my own it didn't work....after a week and a half of many tears and arguing with my dr, i finally had a dnc (i never even spotted once. my body showed zero signs that i had lost the baby even with the meds they gave me)...it was horrible having to go 10days of having my baby gone but still inside me. it really screwed me up. it was the worst experience ever. 4months later we found out i was pregnant...we were so worried that we hide our pregnancy from everyone until i was 25wks along. now he is a beautiful and very energetic 2yr old! my husband and i were also blessed with a surprise and have a happy and healthy baby boy who is almost 4months old. we also hid that pregnancy until we found out his gender. the fear never really goes away at least it didnt for us. until i was holding my boys in my arms i was so scared something would happen. you are im my thoughts just hang it there it does get easier i promise...if you ever need to talk im here :)

Keri - posted on 08/29/2009

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I had two miscarriages and it was very hard.. The first one I was only 5 weeks and the second it was twins and I was 10 weeks and had to have a DNC.. Either way they were both hard and emotional! It is suppose to be a happy time and then you get let down. Just turn to people and talk to them or your boyfriend or husband! I cried a lot.. It took me 3 years to have a beautiful daughter.. I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope all the best for you.. Hang in there!! :)

Carla - posted on 08/29/2009

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iv had two misscarriges both at 8weeks, its a very hard and upsetting time, with my first i only knew i was preg for about a wekk but with number 2 i knew for about a month and had to have a d and c performed, talk to your doctor about when it is best to try again and good luck to you xxx

Michelle - posted on 08/29/2009

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Hello sweetie. I had a very similar experience when my oldest was just six months old. It was a very difficult thing for me to handle. It is my belief and understanding that at such an early stage_ the baby most likely had some malformations and the body naturally miscarried. Only heaven knows. If you continue to feel very sad, I would recommend asking your dr. Or google for a depression checklist. I actually found out you ca suffer from post partum depression after a miscarriage. Bleeding? More than a period and every person varies. Check with your dr! Hope this helped! Oh and PS I believe you are supposed to wait about 2 months before trying again! Hugs!

[deleted account]

My cousind girlfriend had 6 before being able to stay pregnant. Her Dr told her to take 81mg baby aspirin everyday... you could discuss that with your dr.. it may help!!

Carol - posted on 08/28/2009

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I had a miscarriage when I was 8wks pregnant...I had started spotting a brownish discharge but never bleed. At about 6wks went to hospital had and u/s everything looked fine. Seen my doctor had another u/s she agreed and said everything looked fine. Then 2weeks later I had really bad cramping late one night, I went to bed and it hurt so badly I balled up in a ball. I woke up the next morning to a full fledged period, heavy bright red bleeding. Went to the hospital to find out that I had miscarried. It was very hard because I felt that it was my fault that my body couldn't handle it or something was wrong with me. I went to my OBGYN and she told me that I had miscarried because there was something badly wrong with the baby, that if it had been born it would have serious problems or not even be "right." I accepted that, why bring something into this world that is never going to be able to enjoy life...later we found out that I had a heterotopic pregnancy, a uterine and tubule pregnancy, and it all began to make sense. My bleeding lasted about a normal period because it was really heavy but I guess it depends on how heavy you are bleeding. A good time to try...when you are ready, don't rush things, things happen for a reason. It wasn't anything that you did, it was just that the genes didn't combine properly to make a normal baby and your body takes care of this by having a miscarriage. There are some women that were pregnant because they are weeks late and didn't even know it. This is why obgyn won't see you until you are 8weeks pregnant usually, because a high percentage of miscarriages happen in the first few weeks of pregnancy.



Good Luck and Hope this helps....

Jodi - posted on 08/28/2009

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I've been through two miscarriages. I was only about 14wks. Went to an ultrasound and found no heart beat. They induced labor for both (they were abt a year apart) I spent a looong time grieving. I just wanted people to shut up and stop giving advice and their idea of comfort/support. I say, don't hold it in. The pain will lessen when you have a child. But don't push for that until both you and your partner are ready for it.

[deleted account]

Hi Rosy. I'm reall sorry to read what you and your partner just went through. We have been through 2 miscarriges, and no matter how far along you were, it still just as heart breaking. I have a son now, and he was born 2 days before my mother in law passed away, i believe he was ment to come at that time, and not any earlier. Everything happened for a reason, i can see that now, and you will too eventually.. It was nothing you did at all, it just wasn't your time yet. All the best for the future.

Tangela - posted on 08/28/2009

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sorry went through a miscarriage at 19 weeks it not easy but one year later I got pregnant with a wonderful little boy,sometimes its for the best, the baby I lost had heart problem the doctor said if I had gave birth he might not of lived past 2 days I really think we have challenges in life to make us stronger people.But start taking vitamins before you start to try again ,an when you start trying thats all up to you and your partner when your ready.

Katarina - posted on 08/28/2009

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When I misscarried 5 years ago at 11 weeks, I wrote a letter to the baby and burried it under a tree. When i was ready I went back dug it up,read it and then burnt it. I felt a lot better then and was able to "physically" putit behind me, when I was ready. It ook me about 2 years and a new relationship. My fiance and I now have a beautiful 4 month old son, Zackary.

Beth - posted on 08/28/2009

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Hey Rosy! First, my sympathies go out to you, honey. I know how difficult a miscarriage can be. I had one when I was in college, after my husband and i had been married about two years. I felt like it was my fault, because after I found out, i was so upset. it wasn't apart of the Drake life plan. I had always planned to get pregnant after graduating and getting a good job. After my miscarriage I was hurting emotionally and physically. It's a rough thing for your body and mind to go through. I was even depressed for a few weeks, because after the baby was gone, i realized just how bad I wanted it. I believe in my heart that everything happens for a reason, even if there is severe pain and heartache behind it. Keep your chin up. *bit of a side note..I ended up getting pregnant and having a healthy, beautiful baby girl only one year after having a miscarriage* So everything happens if and when it's supposed to. God Bless you!!!

Sheridyn - posted on 08/28/2009

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hey there you sure arnt alone, alot of people go through what has happend to you, I miscarried at just over 9 weeks, in my 2nd pregnancy, its such a horrible thing to happen as you cant control it no matter how much you wanted to, but the bleeding stops pretty soon and you just have to let yourself rest, it will happen when its ment to I keep telling myself that too! our baby would have been due in a couple of weeks now, so that does make me sad seeing all the other ladies with their lovely bellies , but everything happens for a reason, we are still trying for another child when the time is right it will happen so I wish you all the best and baby dust to you. xox

Kendra - posted on 08/28/2009

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my advice is simply this hun. miscarriages suck and hurt emotionally and physically. dont try to get pregnant right away cuz there is a good chance you prob will miscarry again. id wait at least 4 or 5 months before trying again. take a deep breath and take it easy, when i had a miscarriage, the doctor told me to just relax for at least a week with no lifting. keep walking but then when you do sit to keep feet elevated so the bleeding has to clot and can do so easier. i am sorry for you loss. i know how you feel. i found out i was pregnant on feb 13th and misscarried on feb 14th of 2005. i understand fully. whenever you 'plan" on getting pregnant, just take pre-natal vitamans bout a month before you try. the vitams help give your body extra nutrious that it needs to help prepare for a baby. it doesnt hurt to do it now, especially since you are still bleeding and loosing a lot of good iron that your body needs. best of luck hun!

Anna - posted on 08/28/2009

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It is a difficult thing to go through. I myself had a miscarriage in March of this year and it was very hard. I still have days that I just get really depressed and sad over it I was 3 months when i lost mine and there was just no heartbeat when I went for my first ultrasound. Unlike you though I did not mis-carry on my own, I was forced to have a D&C and I bleed for a full month afterwards even with the D&C so I know that it could take some time, however, if you start to get worried the best thing is to go to your doctor and be sure you are not hemorraging because I know that when you mis-carry naturally this can happen if you become too active during the miscarriage. Sorry that you have to go through this but it is true what you said, God never gives us more then we can handle. Even though some days will be tough you will get through them and will be in my prayers.



Anna

Jamie - posted on 08/28/2009

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Hello honey! So so sorry that you had to go through this. I went through the same thing with my first pregnancy and was expecting again within two weeks. Sounds nuts I know. Just take it easy, cry when you need too and remember that there will more than likely be more babies to come. Unless advised otherwise by your doctor you can probab;y start trying as soon as you want. I bled for a week so you never know , you may be completly different. A lot of women miss carry their fist pregnancies... why we don't really know but it happens. You didn't do anything to cause it and just make sure to be extra cautious next time.

Aisha - posted on 08/28/2009

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I wouldn't rush it. Don't try to replace. A lot of people say that they don't but they do. Just pray. When your body is ready, it will happen.

Jennifer - posted on 08/28/2009

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Same thing (sorta) happened to me before this pregnancy. I tested a day or two before my period and it was positive. About 5 days later I got my period. I did get pregnant before my next period though and am now 4 months along.

Kristi - posted on 08/27/2009

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I had a miscarriage at 18, but I was glad. The reason being is because my husband was in basic and tec school, and while he was gone, i got raped and pregnant. I am totally against abortions (unless something like this happens), so I told my husband that if i dont miscarry at three months, I was going to get it done.

Two and a half months later I miscarried. Even though this was a pregnancy from a rape, I was so down from it (because I felt like it was time to be a mother.) But everything was better when four months later I get pregnant (with my husband) with our daughter aliona.

So a bad situation turned into good for me. So my advice is no matter how bad things are, just try to look at the posatives.

Lyndsay - posted on 08/27/2009

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My younger sister miscarried at four months along in May (on mothers day actually), and she was pregnant again by July. They say that if you miscarry its because there is something wrong with the baby, so if you look at it that way you can be thankful you were given the chance to have a healthy child instead. :)

Lisa - posted on 08/27/2009

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I have suffered multiple miscarriages. The first thing is to know that you did nothing wrong. That was the hardest part for me. I kept convincing myself that I was at fault for losing the baby. This is not the case. For me the best thing to do to keep busy. The busier I was the less I focused on it. I waited for three months to start trying to have a baby to give myself time to grieve. I didn't want to get pregnant right away again because I wanted time to heal both physically and emotionally. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I am sorry for your loss. You will get through this. Keep us updated.

[deleted account]

Hey Rosanna

Try hard to keep a smile and stay positive through this experience! When I had a M/C I was very depressed for weeks..my doc told me that it is very common and usually happens because there is some kind of defect. Even though it was hard to hear he made me realize that it was meant to be and a few months later I was pregnant again! and now i am blessed with a wonderful don..I hope you feel better..

Renee - posted on 08/27/2009

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Hi Rosy, I'm sorry for your loss. I've had 3 miscarriages it's not an easy thing to deal with. My first 1 I was 13 weeks along and had to be rushed to the ER for an emergency D&C cause I was bleeding to death. The 2nd and 3rd ones I past at home. Give your body time to heal and emotional be ready to try again.You know your body best and you know when you'll be ready to try again. I now have 5 beautiful kids and in life you never know what hand you'll get dealt. I know it's hard right now but it'll get easier. Hang in there.

Emily - posted on 08/27/2009

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I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I know how you feel I was 4 and 1/2 weeks. We were not trying to have a baby at the time so it wasn't til 3 years later that we had our son who is now 9 months. My sister had two before she had my nephew she was so upset but she kept trying and now has two healthy boys. Keep your head up and remember that GOD did it because something wasn't right. He and everyone else wants you to have a healthy baby. Good Luck!

Paige - posted on 08/27/2009

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I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I understand, i had two before my daughter was born and 1 after.Each one of them was very painful both physically and emotinally. Some doctors say to wait 3 periods before trying again but i got pregnant with my daughter after just one menstral cycle and she is 1 now. I think the pregnancy was health because my body was already prepared for pregnancy. You will probably bleed a little longer than a normal period. There is nothing you could of done to prevent it. Sometimes our bodies just cant handle the pregnancy. Keep your head up, God will give you a baby when it the right time. I will keep you in my prayers. Good Luck.

Mary - posted on 08/27/2009

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Rosanna,

I had a miscarriage in February of this year. It was hard on me, but I looked at it as God took it for a reason. My faith in Christ is what helped me through mine. I never went to the ER for bleeding, I listened to my dr and took it easy. My dr recomended that I wait threee months before trying again to get pregnant. As long as your not passing large clots and you are not changing you pad (which is what they recomend you wear while having a miscarriage) more than twice an hour you shouldnt worry about excesssive bleeding. I had a lot of pain with my loss, but ibuprofen and heating pad on my belly helped ease the pain. I hope that my advice helps and I pray that you make it through this ok.

Mileisy - posted on 08/27/2009

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Hi Rosy,

I've had a miscarriage in the past and I know the feeling. It took me almost a year to get pregnant again .. some women are different so you could get pregnant again soon. Just depends on the body! I was bleeding like crazy and lost a lot of blood. I think it didnt stop for like a week. I had my miscarriage because of Depression and stress. I was young, my dad wanted me to get an abortion, my sister was all over my business: and all that lead to stress and depression.

Everything will get better! -- take care!

Matshepo - posted on 08/27/2009

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Hi Rosanna. I am sorry to hear of your loss. I had a miscarriage early last year, i as 7 weeks pregnant. I was devastated but my husband was very supportive and we resolved to keep trying and kept believing that we would concieve again.

My Dr told me to wait 2 mentrual cycles before trying again.



I must say a good friend said something funny but so comforting to me during that time. She said that at least I will have fun trying again. Needless to say I had a good time trying and after 1 cycle we concived. so cheer up and look foward to trying again

Katracia - posted on 08/27/2009

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Hi Rosy, I had a m/c back in june of 2005. I was 19 at the time. I had been on birth control every since i started high school. I stopped taking them when i got out of school. I was only 6wks inton my pregnancy. The way it happened. I had just found out a week and a half before it happened. I had woke up that morning for work and started cramping so i called my obgyn and they had me to come in and do blood work so within 24 hours i was still pregnanct. They had me to come back do blood work again. They called that time saying i was miscarring at the time. I was devistated. I love kids, don't like to see them abuse or treated bad for no reason at all. Here it is 2009 and i had lost alot of weight went from 220 pounds to 182. I got pregnant. While hanging out parting with my older relatives drinking and i was pregnant. It was a shock, cause i wasn't prepared but i had a beautiful baby boy on July 22,2009. I also had him natural with no meds. His name is Kai'den. So The point God never puts more on us the we can bare. You don't have to try right away its going to happen all by itself. It could be this year or the next we don't know. Everybody heals different. I went out of town to a family reunion and made the best of it. Its not your fault. Besides in my family you m/c then have a child, then m/c again its crazy. But it doesn't happen to everyone in the family on about half. I will send a pray up for you and your family.

Kellie - posted on 08/27/2009

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Heyy i had a misscarriage early last year.. you man bleed for a whle now cus of missed periods and so ... the pain in your stomach will go, i had the pain for arond two week.. the question about trying again thats completley down to when you feel ready too, me n my other half were devestated n we ended up fallin pregnant again around 4 months after they do say u need to leave so man periods.. but thats down to you realli..



sorry and tke car x

Jana - posted on 08/26/2009

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I know exactly how you are feeling. I miscarried 8/7/2009 at 11 weeks. I am still grieving the loss of my baby. This was my first miscarriage and I had no Idea what it would be like. I don't know if you are Christian or not but I read a book that helped me a lot "The Shack" by William someone it talks about dealing with the loss of a child.

As to what to expect every body is different but I bled for 2 weeks it was just like having a long period. The worst day was the day I actually miscarried (passed tissue). It's been a week and a half since I stopped bleeding and my Husband and I have decided that we want to get pregnant again soon but we aren't trying we just aren't preventing.

I will be praying for you and your family.

April - posted on 08/26/2009

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Rosy,



I am so sorry! The same happened to me almost three years ago. I was six weeks along and had only known for sure we were pregnant for a week. I had a lot of bleeding and pain for about 4-7 days and took a week off from work to help grieve, process and recover. I don't know what is a "normal" timeline for the bleeding to stop. I found it helpful to rest and talk with my partner about our grief. It is incredible what others might say to "cheer you up." The reality is, this was someone special to you, and is a significant loss. Also, there is NOTHING you could have done to avoid this when you have a miscarriage this early on in your pregnancy. Please do not blame yourself because you did nothing wrong. It unfortunately is common (1 in 2 pregnancies, but often women don't even know they were pregnant) but no less painful.



Other things possibly to expect: my periods for the year following were not regular and were also more painful than I had had prior. You can try again pretty quickly, any time after your next period but it might not happen for a couple months but check with your doc. But be sure to give yourself time to heal.

Nadine - posted on 08/26/2009

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I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks with my first pregnancy and I bleed heavly for 2 weeks before I lost it then I had a heavy period for a little over a week. I was told I could try again after my next normal period so one month. After my next 2 I was 17 weeks and 19 weeks to early for them to save and was again told I could savely after one normal period. I now have a 4 month old daughter. I have an incompetent cervix which is what caused my 2nd and 3rd one if this was your first pregnancy it is very common to have a miscarriage. There isnt anything you could have done. Its hard and you blame your self but you have to just keep telling your self that it wasnt your fault and keep trying. Good luck

Lyndsey - posted on 08/26/2009

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Hello Rosanna,



My first pregnancy ended in a miscarraige after 7 weeks. I was crushed and it almost destroyed me cause my husband and I wanted kids. It was hard, but I was lucky that I have such a wonderful supportive husband. We got pregnant again 4 months later and had healthy baby who is now 5 years old and going to start kindergarden in 2 days and we also have a healthy 15 month old. So, I know the pain and I know the blame, but don't give up. The doctor told me that most women miscarry 2-3 times before a healthy baby comes along.

Mandelyn - posted on 08/26/2009

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I have had a miscarriage before, I was 5 1/2 mths pregnant I had just started to feel her move.The reason as to why I lost her was I was being abused.They kept her alive for an hour,her lungs wasn't fully develpoed.At times I think I could of avoided mine, but I don't know.I bleed for at least 6-7 weeks. Every year on her anniversary it's hard for me and it's Aug 20.They say it'll get better,but it dosen't I have time as to where I can hear her call me or running thru the house.It might sound strange but that does happen to me.I keep tellin my self she's ina better place cause she would have awole lot wrong with her.
Mandelyn

Alishia - posted on 08/26/2009

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I just went through this 6 months ago but it was my sisters fault.. she hit me so hard in the stomach and thought that it was funny ... I so sad because I just found out then 2 months later I found out I was prego again... Give yourself some time to heal God will bless you he always does... :)

Sarah - posted on 08/25/2009

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I am so sorry for your loss. It doesn't matter that you were only a few weeks along, you lost your baby and its a terrible thing. I have 2 friends who also just had miscarriages and also both were treated poorly by the medical staff that treated them. I have no advice to offer you except that I agree "god never gives you more than you can handle". Sorry again for your loss

Charlie - posted on 08/25/2009

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It's never to late to hold a little ceremony, when you are ready you can still do something special .

Rosanna - posted on 08/25/2009

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Loureen,



Thanks so much. Those are great ideas, I cant beleiev I didnt even think of doing something like that as part as the greiving process.

Jackie - posted on 08/25/2009

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Quoting Loureen:

Hi Rosanna ,
I am so sorry for your loss , i also had a miscarriage in my first pregnancy at 15 weeks .
The important thing for you to do is grieve in your own way and for as long as you want , it is not an easy thing to overcome but the grieving process is important .
Do you have anyone to talk to , it really eases the mind to be able to just unload on a friend or partner .
Something i found really helped me is having a ceremony for my little one , we planted a rose bush in his memory and said our goodbyes .
Other things you could do is release some balloons with wishes for your baby on them or have a candle lighting .

NEVER EVER feel it is your fault , it is very common unfortunately , there was no apparent reason for my MC either and i went through the same feeling's , the bleeding should last as long as a normal period , Doctors recommend waiting 6 months to a year to let your body recover .
I fell pregnant exactly a year later .
My thoughts and well wishes are with you .



Loureen,



I think those are wonderful ideas and had somebody suggested that to me I would have done it.

Jackie - posted on 08/25/2009

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Hi Rosy, I didn't get pregnant intentionally before my next period. In fact, I wasn't ready because I was so distraught from the miscarriage. I couldn't imagine putting myself through that again. I never needed to go to the ER. My OBGYN pretty much took good care of me and was there for any questions I had. I didn't have to get a DNC, they said I "passed" it myself. I know that's a terrible way to put it. I bled for about two weeks though. I couldn't wait for it to stop because it felt like a constant reminder.

Just keep in mind that even though you think nobody can possibly imagine what you're going through right now, there are plenty of us who know EXACTLY what you're going through so you are not alone...

Wendy - posted on 08/24/2009

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I had a miscarriage in December of '02. I went to the doctor and they did an ultrasound and estimated the baby at 8 weeks, 5 days. We went away for the weekend and I started bleeding really bad. Made a 1 1/2 hour trip home in 30 minutes to go to the ER. Got there and they told me nothing was wrong. Went to the doctor 2 days later and he couldn't find a heartbeat. The baby was still at 8 weeks, 5 days. I had a D&C 2 weeks before Christmas. But, just 3 months later, I was pregnant again. I was still bleeding at New Years. For me I thought it would never end. I know it happened for a reason, I now have my Cody Wade.

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