Kissing

Jamie - posted on 07/29/2009 ( 100 moms have responded )

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So I was wondering do you think its ok to kiss your child on the lips. At what agedoes it become not ok. Like is it ok for a dad to kiss his daughter when shes 13? Or mom to kiss a child on the lips at 7? I personally think its gross. Kissing on the cheek is ok butI think the lips are not right.

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Kylie - posted on 07/29/2009

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btw Melissa its totally natural and normal for little girls to have a feel or rub themselves down there as long as they do it in private at home. She wont hurt herself so I wouldn't discourage her from doing that.

Tessa - posted on 08/01/2009

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Kissing on the lips... Fine. Germs are going to pass through the air and from you having skin to skin contact... not just lip to lip. Kids don't see things like that as sexual, but as a way of showing affection.
Children touching themselves.... Fine. Completely natural. Teaching them to do it in their own room in private is respectful of other people and your childs need to explore their own body. It's not sexual to them until pre teens. Telling a child off for this behavior can lead to them having a negative mindset to their own body and sexuality when they grow older.
Children sleeping in parents bed until 6, 7, 8, 9 or even 10... Completely normal as long as no one is taking advantage of it. Kids need security and sometimes sleeping with a parent is their security, especially in a broken family.
Sorry Jamie Massie but I'd say you just have a preempted dislike for your partners ex... That's all I can read from what you're saying about her. And why are you taking photo's of a parent kissing her child? and then showing it to other people? That just seems pretty sick to me! Almost mentally disturbed kind of sick.
There are sick people out there who will take advantage of a child in these ways, but not everybody is like that. If you can kiss your kids on the lips and are not sexually aroused like some peddo, then there is no problem. If your child is kissing complete strangers on the lips then I'd be asking that stranger what his/her deal is.
Parents kissing kids on the lips is completely natural, to be wierded out by it just says something about your own mind, not the parents you are watching.
P.S. I'm not 'crapping' in your thread as you have accused someone who 'apparently' wrote about spanking (I don't see that anywhere, but whatever), I'm genuinely replying to your question and a few other things I have read here that concern me a bit.

Kate CP - posted on 08/01/2009

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Alexis, there is just as much danger of germ transference with a hug or a kiss on the cheek as a kiss on the lips.

Young babies (like a few weeks old) are pretty susceptible to infections but if you're nursing then it's not quite as bad (usually). Older children (toddlers) have been around you and your family for so long they are used to your germs. I have an immune disorder and as long as I'm just around my family and no one else I hardly ever get sick. You will find that if you just wash your hands more frequently the incidence of illness within the home will drop like a rock.

Mononucleosis (mono, the kissing disease) is transfered via saliva. Which is why you have to do some serious tonsil hockey to get it. Just a peck on the mouth or cheek won't give you mono. Trust me on this, I have had mononucleosis.

Wash your hands, don't withhold affection from your kids.

Charlie - posted on 07/31/2009

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god people are so anal about showing affection is it a fear they might look like a peadophile or are people just generally weirded out by that kind of affection sheesh . sorry i had to laugh at some of these replies , there is a difference between the kisses you share with your partner and the kisses you give your child .
people kiss their partner in their own special way ,the most intimate way , with tongue , you kiss your kids in a different but also special way , some people greet their friends with a kiss , that in a way is special too but not as intimate as your child or partner .

It's acceptable to kiss your child on the lips , hell i have seen grown adults kiss their parents on the lips So what !

A kiss with a whole lotta tongue action is for your partner and your partner only , Your vagina is for your partner only , but a little peck on the lips for your child , i really dont see what the problem is.

But look if you are uncomfortable with it and your child doesnt like it then cheeks and foreheads it is , there are some cultures that find it completely unnaceptable to touch another persons hair , unless its your partner.

as for children touching themselves , its natural as a baby they are just discovering their body , its like discovering their feet , as they get older you can explain , that type of touching is private and personal . but it in no way is wrong.

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My son is 2 1/2 and I still kiss him on the lips before bed. Once either of us gets uncomfortable, which i would think would be about the time he starts going to school, I'd stop. I just think that if either the child or the parent is uncomfortable with it then it shouldn't happen

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Jen - posted on 04/18/2012

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I mean if they are french kissing then yeah it's overstepping bounds. But just pecks on the lips, then no.

Sarah - posted on 04/17/2012

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Each to their own. My boys stopped at 8 or 9 due to them being embaressed, my eldest is 23 now and been kissing me on the lips since he was 16

Zara - posted on 08/04/2009

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Some kids are totally different its all up to how they were brought up. They are only replaying back what their parents are doing..My daughter still kisses me on the lips and shes 3 and so does my nephew and hes 4. Personally why even think that its disturbing?? If you see a kid kissing his mum on the lips even at 7 i mean really its none of our business?? (Nothing againset you) Its just interesting to see what everyone has said on here and it all comes down to the social context just because someone sees it as wrong does not mean that another person is going too

Kelly - posted on 08/04/2009

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ok, the whole kissing thing. I see no reason why a parent cannot kiss their kids on the mouth if the kid is okay with it. my children are 4, 2 and 6 1/2 mos and my hubby and i still kiss them on the lips. I was raised my a foster mom my whole life (older woman so i always called her grandma) and i still kiss her on the lips to this day. I dont look at it as perverted or weird. My family are the huggy, tell u i love u every time i see u kind of family. and i love it. i am the same way. everytime i see my grandma i tell her i love her. tell the hubby and kids every chance i can. my kids get several hugs/kisses daily. never know if u wont see them again. my own parents died when i was 4 and i dont ever remember getting kisses. so...in my opinion... if they kids are ok with it, there is nothing wrong with it. =

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I am 29 and i will still give my dad and mom a peck on the lips and my brother too, he is 33... i think what works for one family may not work for another, it is always important to show love.

Jenni - posted on 08/03/2009

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About the private part touching since it came up... I don't let my son touch his privates during diaper changes cuz he's grabbed it before I've cleaned poop off before. But he knows not to touch himself for exactly that reason. If he touches himself in the bath tub I'll give him a few and then say "ok I think your wiener is clean now, how about cleaning your arm" that way it curbs the behavior without making him think it's wrong or anything like that.

I agree kids need to explore their own bodies, but again sometimes it make some parents uncomfortable. We tell kids not to pick their noses without giving them complexes. I think it's fine to tell them to leave their privates alone as long as it's in a nice way. Just redirect their behavior just like you would any other. :)

Katy - posted on 08/03/2009

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You know whats funny, today when I went to pick my son up from his first day of school (sad day for mommy :( ) he came running over to me, I picked him up and we gave each other kisses on the lips.... I didn't even think about it... it just came naturally to show that sort of affection. I didn't even wonder if other people thought it was weird, I love my little guy, and missed him and he missed me...

Kate CP - posted on 08/03/2009

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Katy, you are right on the money. No child or adult for that matter should be afraid of their bodies or to explore them. People can be so uptight. ;)

Katy - posted on 08/03/2009

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Michelle I agree about exploring their bodies, I don't tell my kids it's wrong, or smack their hands, I just tell them that if they want to do that they should do it in private... If you act like its a bad thing, and something to be ashamed of, later they will hide their questions, and start doing things in secret and hiding it because they think it's a bad thing to be ashamed of.... just my opinion....

Jenni - posted on 08/03/2009

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If you don't feel comfortable kissing your child on the lips then don't. If you do then do. I don't think either is wrong, but I respect other peoples comfort and intimacy levels.

As a kid I didn't like to be hugged or kissed much except by my mom and hated when my grandma would force me to kiss her goodbye. As a adult I love giving kisses and snuggles to my kids, but if they would ever seem like they didn't want me to hug or kiss them I would respect that.

But I don't think kissing on the lips is inappropriate at all if that's what's being debated.

Michelle - posted on 08/03/2009

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I see no problem with kissing your children on the lips. They'll tell you when they want it to stop.

As for smacking your child's hand because they are exploring their own body... I feel it's not a good idea. They need to know that it's a natural and ok thing to do. They also need to know that it should be done in private.

Jessica - posted on 08/03/2009

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different people are very different. my parents kissed me on the lips until i was like a tween and i didnt care for it with my parents anymore. with my son, we kiss on the cheek, partly because it feels weird for me to kiss on the mouth if its not my husband, and partly because he was a sickly child so we tried not to spread germs to his mouth.

Casey - posted on 08/03/2009

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so my daughter is 5 years old and she was ok with kissing but just recently i noticed that when she would kiss me on the lips she would grab my face and kinda sorta open her mouth haha i know its weird right.. so i asked her where she learned that and she said you and daddy?!?! ok so i thought about it and we dont kiss like that unless we are alone in our room so i was a little confused.. so i told her that she shouldnt kiss me like that i was her mommy and not to kiss like that till she was old enough to have a boyfriend like when she was 85 haha and now she kisses me like a 5 year old should mostly on the cheek!!!

Katy - posted on 08/03/2009

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I have an 8 year old daughter and a 5 year old son, both me and my husband give them kisses on their lips. I don't see how that's weird. We love each other, my kids give each other kisses on the lips, there's nothing dirty about it, just a little smack, it's not like angelina jolie and her brother, ::gag:: it's innocent and sweet. Same with when we kiss them. Why do we always have to make things dirty.... love and affection isn't dirty.

Rose - posted on 08/03/2009

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I dont think there is anything wrong with giving your child a kiss on the lips. (peck). It just shows the love between a parent and child. My daughter is only 7 months old so I dont know how I will feel when shes a bit older. I dont think of it any other way that that of a mother and child thing.

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i think its completely up to the child and their age my 8year old prefers to give a hug but my 5year old and 15month old wants kisses. however if i or my husband refused to kiss any them on the lips if they puckered up and offered they would be really hurt and offended.,

Sarah - posted on 08/02/2009

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At 28 years old I still kiss both my parents on the lips as well as my grandmas and will kiss my son like this forever as well! I am sure there will be a period of time in his life when he won't want mommy kissing him in front of his friends, but hopefully that phase won't last! Love and affection between parents and children is a good thing, I find it sad that individuals see this is wrong.

Renee - posted on 08/02/2009

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I still kiss my dad and my mom and my grandparents on the lips. I'll be 26 on the 12th. I think that as long as both parties are comfortable with it then it's ok. Like DH doesn't like to kiss anyone but me on the lips but he doesn't have a problem with me kissing the kids on the lips. I don't see anything inappropriate about it at all as long as there's nothing sexual about it.

Betty - posted on 08/02/2009

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I kissed my great grandma on the lips once but she's a cute old lady:) I think it's fine as long as it's a quick little peck and no one gets a buzz out of it.

Krysta - posted on 08/02/2009

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I agree their is a age where it stops. When they are infants or toddlers I think that fine. But I don't really do it for the fact that human mouths are not clean and I don't want my baby to get sick. Babies amunsystems are week!

Jane - posted on 08/02/2009

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some times i kiss my kids on the lips but more often i kiss them on the cheek at night. my son is 4 and my daughter is 5 some-times she wipes away my kiss from her cheek.if they ever tell me to stop kissing them i will stop.i guess a kiss from mama will not be cool in a few years.

Andrea - posted on 08/02/2009

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To be honest, I never even thought of kissing my son on the lips as weird. My oldest is almost 3 and I always kiss him goodbye when he goes to school or just to be affectionate. I guess I just come from a family that has always kissed on the lips, at least certain family members like my mom, dad, or grandparents. I also think that it is what you make of it. If it seems inappropriate and not really a show of affection, maybe it is wierd, but just kissing on the lips isn't a sign of molestation. Before I read this post I didn't even think twice about it but it just goes to show that not everyone views things the same way but that doesn't make it wrong, just different. Affection is important for children and how you show them you care is up to you.

Bri - posted on 08/02/2009

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I think it all depends on the type of family you are and the relationship that you have with them...I had a "sissy kiss" between my little sister and I since she was a toddler and she still does it to me before we depart from each other and she's 10yrs old now. The kiss consists of our two cheeks together and the 'kiss kiss' sounds ((like how you see people normally greet each other)) and then we both rub our noses 3times and it ends with a kiss on the lips. Then we go on about our business and continue on with our day. I pretty much raised my sister, so she looks at me as a mother, and i don't find it weird. Now I'm sure she will grow out of the whole routine thing as she gets older, but either way-it doesn't phase me :-/ I also know grown people, mainly women, who kiss their parents on the lips-like little pecks--again, I don't see anything wrong with it. To each his own :-/

Patricia - posted on 08/02/2009

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i am 24 yrs old, and i still kiss my daddy on the lips. i love my dad very much, and have never thought anything of it. My daughter was 20months old when she passed...and boy o boy when you asked her for a kiss...she would jump at the chance. so i have to disagree.

Stevie - posted on 08/02/2009

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i think kissing is ok at any age but most all or most boys deff go threw a stage where they dont even want a huge but does that stop you from doing it i kissed my mother and my step father on the lips even after i was out of the house and i still kiss my father when i see him {i dont see my mother or step dad anymore} but i dont think it is a bad thing i think its a loving thing do you love your husband and kiss him on the lips its kinda the same obviously a different kind of love and i think thats what makes it ok cuz its not the same love its a mother offspring love not a wife and husband love ya know

Kati - posted on 08/01/2009

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A kiss is a sign of love and affection.....Its what you feel behind that kiss that makes it right or wrong......

I am 100 % for kissing my girls....They are 2 1/2 and 1.

Sarah - posted on 08/01/2009

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i think this is just a matter of how u were brought up and ur own opinion..my daughters are 3 and 5 and they kiss everyone they know on the lips when they are leaving somewhere. i really dont see a problem with it..it is just how we say i love u and see u soon...

Ashlee - posted on 08/01/2009

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ok kissing your kids never wrong - unless they don't want to age the preteen teen years or whatever. I am grown and still kiss my parents on the lips as well as my mother-in-law and no we are not freaks people taht think too far into this have the problem.
Also Melissa girls or boys doesn't mater will touch themselves at sometime it's just part of exploring their bodies. Would you slap her hands if she rubbed her legs?? You should never tell them this is a bad behavior just explain that it's one that needs to be done in the privacy of their bedroom with the door closed. Making them feel bad about it now causes confusion later on

Amanda - posted on 08/01/2009

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I have a 2yr and 5 yr old boys and my 2yr kisses me on the lips all the time. But he is still a baby in many ways, my 5 yr kisses on the cheek or forehead at bedtime. Dont get me wrong i love him just as much as his little bro, but there comes a time when they learn what kissing is all about. and my 5 yr sees it everywhere. we can be in walmart and teenagers are making out. So he understands its something that u do when u are big. And as far as showers, i have taken baths with my kiddos when they were babies, but as soon as they can sit in the tub alone it time for mom and dad to get out. Especially when they know what body parts are and no thats just not right. I cant imagine letting my boys shower with me, a lot of people would call social services for that kind of behavior.

Jackie - posted on 08/01/2009

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I think its just a comfort level. I would never encourage someone to do something with their child that they are not comfortable with. I kiss my kids on the lips (they are 8,6,5 & 9 months) The 8 year old is my only boy and in public (mostly school) he isn't comfortable with it so I don't do it. With the big 3, I do try to just pucker up and let them plant where they want.
My husband on the other hand is very uncomfy with it and the girls weird him out sometimes lol. he would much rather give hugs and a kiss on the head.

Kim - posted on 08/01/2009

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I have to say before I had kids I used to think that it was pretty strange when I saw parents kiss their kids on the lips but now that I have my own babies i find it only natural when i kiss my babies on the lips. But I do agree that at a certain age it should stop. I assume that i will automatically know when that time comes.

Kate CP - posted on 08/01/2009

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Alexis, your opinion is valuable and valid. I wasn't saying your opinion on kissing your kids was "wrong" or anything like that. I was just stating that the germ factor really isn't a big issue logically speaking. But it's up to you and your family what you're comfortable with. I don't think you're not affectionate with your kids (honestly I have yet to meet a mother who isn't affectionate!) just stating that you don't have to NOT kiss your kids to keep them healthy and infection free. :)

Rachel - posted on 08/01/2009

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I agree 100% with Tessa. I have always kissed my kids on the lips and they are now 8,5,3 and they all still come to me for the goodbye kisses and their goodnight kisses and if they are feeling a little low they will come and get a little kiss from me to make them feel better. My son is 8 and well he thinks it's embarassing to kiss ya mum and ya dad so i only get to kiss his cheek and dad's only allowed to high 5 him now and were fine with that but even he from time to time will want a kiss from mum to feel better. My 5 and 3 yr old girls still kiss on the lips and thats with me and my hubby and were both fine with it. My partner and i are also very big on giving our own parents a kiss hello and a kiss goodbye but it's just a quick peck and a hi or a bye that goes with it, we also give hello and bye kisses on the cheeks with our aunty's, uncle's, granparents and friends and my children do this also as a sign of affection towards the people that they love and care about and who love and care about them. I'm sorry i just dont see what the big deal is with this topic it's a normal thing that we all do to show affection towards someone that we love and care for so what is the big problem??????? It's not discusting at all, i actually think it's kinda cute when you see a parent taking the time to show affection towards their childen as you dont see it as much anymore because everyone is to worried that someone will think that their doing something that they should'nt be with their children. It's sad state of affairs when parents can no longer show affection towards their kids because someone might think their abusing the child. I will always kiss my children and so will my hubby because we love them and they love us, weather it be on the lips, forehead or cheek(like it is with my son) we will always show affection towards our children.

Casey - posted on 08/01/2009

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my daughter kissed me and her daddy on the lips when she goes to bed. I'm never going to tell her thats wrong, she'll decide when she doesn't want to. Besides its a big MWAH kiss harmless and i can't believe people actually think there is something wrong with that.

Char - posted on 08/01/2009

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i honestly don't see why you would consider it weird or not right to kiss your child on the lips as long as you aren't sticking your tongue in their mouth... now that would be gross!! to each his own but i will kiss my little girls on the lips till the day i die. they will always be my babies no matter how old they are.

Ashley - posted on 08/01/2009

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My 21 month old son gives us pecks on the lips, I see nothing wrong with it... I'm sure as he gets older he'll move onto just the cheek... I'm really not concerned with it.

CHERRIE - posted on 08/01/2009

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My children are 4 and 8. I kiss them on the lips. They are your children. It's okay.

Alexis - posted on 08/01/2009

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I didn't say I am not affectionate. I was sharing my opinion that I don't feel that you should kiss a child on the mouth to show your affection. In some situations, it may confuse the child that it's okay to kiss others on the mouth. I had a 10-year old try to kiss my infant on the mouth a few weeks ago while at a function. I had to tell her and her mother that it was inappropriate.

I know we are all going to have our opinions about this, I just wanted to voice mine since the majority of the posts were in favor of it.

Alexis - posted on 08/01/2009

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I didn't say I am not affectionate. I was sharing my opinion that I don't feel that you should kiss a child on the mouth to show your affection. In some situations, it may confuse the child that it's okay to kiss others on the mouth. I had a 10-year old try to kiss my infant on the mouth a few weeks ago while at a function. I had to tell her and her mother that it was inappropriate.

I know we are all going to have our opinions about this, I just wanted to voice mine since the majority of the posts were in favor of it.

Jessica - posted on 08/01/2009

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Colds aren't just transferred through kissing! It's an airborne virii meaning jus sneezing or coughing in the same room as someone is going to be in a couple hours later has potential to pass it on. I'm of the view that we can't wrap them up in cotton wool forever so why stop being affectionate for the sake of that? They have to build an immune system eventually!

Alexis - posted on 08/01/2009

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I agree with Angela K about the germ issue. Everyone is focusing on the sexual aspect of it, and not on the fact that you're passing germs back and forth. I am not a germ-a-phobe, however, in this day and age of cold sores, meningitis, and of course, mono, why would you willing expose your child to adult illnesses? I know I am being extreme, but I was raised that you don't do that. My dad even when as far as to tell us to kiss cheek to cheek to be on the safe side, because "you just never know where someone's mouth or cheek have been" (this always makes me chuckle). It grosses me out when I see it. Unfortunately, this has been an on-going battle for me and my fiance because he is still kissing his mother on the mouth and then trying to kiss me. Granted, he's not seeing his mother everyday, but he is kissing me and then the baby, or vice versa and what do you think happened? WE ALL HAVE THE SAME COLD!!!! Yuck! I've stopped kissing him on the mouth all together because there's no point my 13-month old have a terrible cold because of his desire to kiss her on the mouth.

Rebecca - posted on 07/31/2009

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I insist that my husband gives our son kisses and tells him that he loves him because his dad never did it and never did mine. My mum was very affectionate and that's how I am. I don't believe it is ever not OK to give your child kisses, I don't even think about where I kiss him. The only person I share intimate kisses with is my husband, and there is a huge difference to the peck that I give my son and other family members. It makes me really sad that society is so careful and uptight about showing affection. If it's not your thing that's fine don't do it.

Angela - posted on 07/31/2009

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I really do not think it is appropriate for you to kiss your child on the lips. I know it happens sometimes when baby suddenly turns her face or the child is just learning how to give a kiss. Kissing on the lips is more to me for a non-related love, like someone you are dating and/or married to. Some of it is germs (they aren't ready for my adult germs like that) and some of it is that it isn't something I would do to my parents now, so why should I do it with my kids just because they are young. It is definately way more inappropriate for another person to do to your children!!

--- - posted on 07/31/2009

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my daughter insists on lip kisses. a little pec does no harm. I try for the cheek but she is a lip kisser

Angie - posted on 07/31/2009

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Oh one other thing, my husband and I think its funny! I think my daughter has seen her daddy and I make out a little too much!!! :) hahaha, now when she goes to kiss us, its wide open, and when she goes in she starts to smack her lips together and show tongue...she's imitating mom and dad!!! :) I guess we're starting her young at making out...ahh! (I'll probably get lots of crap for this, but who stinkin cares!!!!!)

Natasha - posted on 07/31/2009

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Im glad that someone posted this question, becasue I think about it also. I have a four year old son and a 10 month old daughter and my husband and I kiss them both of the lips. It is started to weird me out with my son a lil cause he sees mommy and daddy doing it so I think that is why he wants to more and as for our daughter Im ok with it. I think tis will be the year we start to kiss our son on the cheek. Seven to me is a little old to do that. Especially if the kiss is the way you said it was. So in my personal opinion kiss your child until you think it is appropriate not to.

September - posted on 07/31/2009

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god people are so anal about showing affection is it a fear they might look like a peadophile or are people just generally weirded out by that kind of affection sheesh . sorry i had to laugh at some of these replies , there is a difference between the kisses you share with your partner and the kisses you give your child .

people kiss their partner in their own special way ,the most intimate way , with tongue , you kiss your kids in a different but also special way , some people greet their friends with a kiss , that in a way is special too but not as intimate as your child or partner .



It's acceptable to kiss your child on the lips , hell i have seen grown adults kiss their parents on the lips So what !



A kiss with a whole lotta tongue action is for your partner and your partner only , Your vagina is for your partner only , but a little peck on the lips for your child , i really dont see what the problem is.



But look if you are uncomfortable with it and your child doesnt like it then cheeks and foreheads it is , there are some cultures that find it completely unnaceptable to touch another persons hair , unless its your partner.



as for children touching themselves , its natural as a baby they are just discovering their body , its like discovering their feet , as they get older you can explain , that type of touching is private and personal . but it in no way is wrong.



I AGREE! I'm 30 years old and I still kiss my Dad! I only see him once a year..I live in Seattle and he is in Florida so you better believe when I get off that plane I give my Dad a kiss and a hug! There is nothing wrong with it! Again everyone is entitled to their own opinions :)

Abigail - posted on 07/31/2009

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I kiss my daughter on the lips. I've always kissed my mom that way as well. I don't see the issue as it's nothing sexual in this case...people just read too much into things.

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