Last Name?!?! Confused!

Danielle - posted on 06/12/2010

honestly i gave my daughter her fathers last name and then changed it after what he did toher at 3 months old. BUT i had to go to court to get it changed ( and to get full custody).it took over 6 months.

And i honestly dont like the hyphenated names..its just too long,lol....but thats just me.

IF i was in ur situation i would give the child your last name and explain to the father and his family that you wll change it when you guys get married. But the future is soo uncertain and anything can happen. Its better to be safe then sorry. If he turns out to be a great dad and you guys stay together and get married THEN change the last name...just my 2 cents :)

Shana - posted on 06/12/2010

I reckon if your not sure it will last,hyphenate the names. This way he cannot claim that its not his based on names,he cant say you pushed him away or out of the bubs live (and if he tries you can use the not married card) but it also makes somethings like school/doctors easier if bubby has both names for all of you

Hayley - posted on 06/12/2010

I gave my daughter her dads last name, and wish i hadnt. he haz nothing 2 do with her and only saw her 1ce in a year by his choice. she is only 5. so with my son i gave him myn and my fiances last name. i wud say f u r married its a give in, bt ur not, so mayb jst gv baby both ur last names, and u can always just drop 1 ov thm f u want. dnt make t mistake ov gvn baby jst his last name, especialy f u feel like he wnt b there 4 u 4ever.

Tiffany - posted on 06/11/2010

My daughter has my last name because he wasnt there for me during pregnancy and still is not involved.
Like already said, it is easier to change it to his last name later if you so choose then to change it to yours if he doesnt want to be involved.

Lauren - posted on 06/11/2010

I would say give the baby your last name. My best friend in high school had a baby and gave the little girl her last name. My friend and her then fiance ended up breaking it off and now my friend is married with another little one. Her oldest daughter just has her maiden name and it's not weird. If you are already questioning whether or not the dad is going to stay in the picture, that is probably a good indicator of the future.

Heather - posted on 06/11/2010

If you think your going to marry him, then give the baby his last name. Otherwise I'd go with your last name. It will be a lot easier filling out paperwork for the child. People won't be constantly asking you to prove the child is your baby. Plus, i think, giving a baby their fathers last name is sort of a privilege and they've gotta earn it.

Erica - posted on 06/11/2010

Baby needs both sides of the family. Give the baby his last name. If he disappears from the picture you can change it very easily before your baby is old enough to realize. If I were in your situation I would give the baby the dads last name. (it gives him ownership and makes him feel more connected and responsible for this life) This is ultimately the goal as long as you want to stay with him.

Once the baby is born it will be all about the baby and he wont have ANY time for the 'best friend' anymore. Take a deep breath and remember you have a little miracle that will change both of your lives in the blink of an eye!

Amber - posted on 06/11/2010

I agree with most people that you should give the baby your last name. I only gave my son his father's last name, because it will be my last name too when we get around to it. I know so many people though who give their child the man's last name and then struggle and put money into changing it later. Everyone will always assume that your child's last name is yours and call you Ms. whatever your child's last name is anyway let your child have the same last name as who he will be with his whole life

Amber - posted on 06/11/2010

I gave all 3 my girls their dad. My oldest has a diff dad than my others. The hard thing is that my children are Destani Simmons, Kylee Sims and the 3rd I was married so its Nataleigh Sims.People assume that I misspelled one or the other. My oldest doesn't really mind though. She uses Sims in school but when she gets mad at her sisters she tells them is unique because she has a different last name

Amy - posted on 06/11/2010

I GAVE BOTH OF MY DAUGHTERS THIER FATHERS LAST NAME WICH WAS A BIG MISTAKE, CAUSE MY YOUNGEST IS ALMOST 11 AND THEY HAVE HARDLY EVER SEEN HIM. HIS FAMILY DONT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH MY KIDS EITHER.

Andrea - posted on 06/11/2010

I gave my daughter my maiden name.. now I'm married and my last name is different as well so i guess technically she doesnt have either of our last names but it's ok cause the rest of our family has the same name as her so she doesnt think its weird. Her dads fam has only brought it up one time and to be honest I'm happy with the way that I did it, I wasnt sure if he would stick around... and he has been since she was about 6months but one day she will be married and change her name again anyway. if you want to be fair hyphonate it I suppose. But if I may... if this is someone who you love... and you feel loves you and this baby, you shouldnt be questioning his commitment to you or the baby, so the fact that he makes you feel like he's gona bail or tells other people that he doesnt want to be with you is pretty sketchy... I would give him a real serious talking to and if he doesnt man up he can ship out and stay there. :)

Becky - posted on 06/11/2010

I would give the baby both of your last names. Thats what I did what my oldest because I was not married yet. My last name was Maitland and his last name was Tanner so we Maitland-Tanner for here. Everybody wanted her to have their last name (On both sides) so we just decided to go with both. Now we are married and about to change her name to just Tanner.

Sarah - posted on 06/11/2010

i would say give him your last name! if you are not married to the father then theres not really any reason to give him his fathers last name! and if by chance the father stays with you and is a responsible parent then if you guys get married change your child's name when you change yours! theres no law saying a baby has to have its father's name! the majority of the people i know that had kids had the baby keep their name not the fathers... in the end its worked out better for them. the father's may have been upset about it at the time but their actions after the baby was born were not good and basically didn't help with the child at all! do what you think is best for your baby... only you can make that decision and no one else!

Lindsey - posted on 06/11/2010

I gave my two boys their fathers last name and I regret it everyday. My husband is more a father to them than their real father and although they wouldn't have my husbands last name,...I just really, really wish that I had given them my maiden name. It's so much easier to change their last name from yours to the fathers (if things work out) than to change from the fathers to yours (I know my ex would never agree to changing their last name just to be an ass; not that he really cares). It is a big decision and I hope you make one that YOU are happy with and can live with. Good Luck!

Heather - posted on 06/11/2010

Not giving my son his dads last name convinced them he wasnt his dads baby. But Note he wasnt even involved nor there when I had my baby!

Honestly it is a complex decision but if you actually EXPECT him to stay with you Voluntarily then you should give your son his last name. I will say it does make Drs appts and such fun with a different last name but plenty of moms do it every day