Learning to let baby cry

Barbara - posted on 02/07/2009

What about tummy time with the baby laying on top of you?  Kind of face to face or something?

Bethany - posted on 02/07/2009

I recommend doing the tummy time as much as she will tolerate- even if it's six times a day for only 30-60 seconds each time- my son developed a flat spot on the back of his head- we caught it early (at his 4 month baby visit) and with more tummy time it has quickly improved. But it was a scary few weeks for me as we were warned of what can happen. As I said- it doesn't have to be huge amounts of time- but a little is better than nothing (and they do start to like it a little better- at least my son did)

As for the crying- could she possibly be teething? My son was always able to spend some time alone playing on the floor but started having fussy, clingy periods around 3 months. His first teeth came in about a week before his 4 month birthday (much to our surprise- I thought he was too young!). This is obviously difficult to determine until you see teeth but I just wanted to throw that out there! Best Wishes ~>

Jennifer - posted on 02/06/2009

My son wasn't a fan of belly time either so I started putting the boppy down and putting him on it. Also having a play mat with a mirror seems to help them as well. Something for them to focus their attention on. As for being spoiled, I think it's still too early for that. I wouldn't think too much of it right now, if when she's a little more active she still has this issue then re-evaluate. It may just be an issue of boredom for her at this stage.

Fazlin - posted on 02/06/2009

Hi Shannon... Im sitting with kinda the same prob. My little boy is barely 2months old, doesnt want to be put down on his back, he stops crying when we pick him up, im also thinking that his being naughty. I'v discovered that having noisy toys keeps him quiet on his back. So im off to Reggies asap to get him something that will keep him amused. His wearing me out so i hope the toy works!!!

Jena - posted on 02/06/2009

Oh yea, you also mentioned tummy time. My daughter HATED it till she was around 6 months old, when she learned to roll from her tummy to  back. Before she would roll from back to tummy, then get stuck and cry. Now she rolls all around back to tummy to back and likes playing on the floor.

User - posted on 02/06/2009

Is it such a bad thing for your little girl to want her mama? She'll grow up so soon and want to be everywhere, not carried around by you. I would enjoy it while it lasts.



As for belly though though, it IS very important. Aidan used to scream bloody murder but we would just sit next to him and help him through it. He eventually got used to it.

Carolyn - posted on 02/06/2009

my son use to do the same thing and now he is 10 months old and i cant leave the room to go to the bathroom without him crying!! but i let him. i started too late but then again its never too late to start or too early

Emily - posted on 02/06/2009

I wouldn't worry about spoiling her until she's older.  She's only 3 months old and at this age, she needs the bonding (which is a very healthy and normal thing for both her and you).  At her age she doesn't understand that you will come back.  When you leave the room, as far as she's concerned, you're not coming back.  Picking her up and cuddling, etc... when she cries helps to reassure her that you are their and coming back.

Jena - posted on 02/06/2009

I don't think babies actually go through the attachment phase until 6 months or older. My daughter is 7 months old now and sometimes just cries b/c she wants to be held. We make sure to not pick her up or hold her ALL time, but we still do a lot. For example, every night at 6 pm I bring my daughter's stationary play center right by the kitchen door, but her in it, and then clean the kitchen and was her bottles. I talk to her while she is in it. Most of the time she is happy, but sometime gets fussy. I tell her "its ok, I'm almost done!" It only takes me about 20 min., so I know she can handle it. I have found that if she starts to get fussy or cry, I can make silly phases and get her to laugh. She will forget she was being fussy.

That being said, since your baby is only 3 months, I don't think she can understand these things as well. Some of it may be she just wants attention, other times she may really need something. I have read, and pretty much agree, that a child can not be spoiled until after 4 months. Meaning before they are 4 months it isn't spoiling them to respond to their needs and they won't develop an unhealthy attachment/needy personality.

Sarah - posted on 02/06/2009

my daughter went through a simlilar stage at some point she always wanted to be held but i was told at such a young age she is going through an attachment phase so you can not spoil them when they cry pick them up and comfort them.my baby is now 14 months old and unless she's sick she goes to bed for naps and at night no problem i walk in her room put her down say good night and walk out and she is quite happy to play on her own for short periods of time.as for tummy time i tried laying on the floor with her putting a mirror propt up in front of her so she could see her self and just keep at it because its good for them

Brittney - posted on 02/06/2009

I really don't think you can spoil you baby to much. I think if they cry it is for some reason until they are closer to one. Yeah know I always had someone telling me not to hold them or just let them be, but now that I have two ...i think who cares they are only babies for so long and then they grow up and don't want to be held.  I say do what you feels right, if you want to sit there and hold her do it your her mother and you know best. As for tummy time, I was so worried about doing that with my first, but when my second came i didn't worry about all that. Yeah know the peds have all these mile markers but every child is different. Both of my children hated tummy time and with my second on I didn't even push it.  He turned out just fine so I don't know what all the hype is about doin that yeah know. Hope this helps:)

Amanda - posted on 02/05/2009

My DD is 14 weeks and I do belly time as tolerated..she is a very very happy baby and really see no need of making her unhappy for the sake of muscle strengthening. I entertain her with different kinds of exercises that is a lot less upsetting for her and when she is on her belly, I make sure she has something to look at.

Rebecca - posted on 02/05/2009

Belly time is very important. My son hated it too. I would just put him on the floor on and off through out the day for a few minutes. He would cry, but I would sit right next to him and rub his back and then he realized he could lift his little head. It will get easier.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/05/2009

Yes, i would def try to leave her on the floor more often. I know its hard buts its much better to stop it now than later. Try putting relaxing music on and leave toys around her. When it comes to belly time, my son hated it too but after a while they get used to it. GOOD LUCK!!

Tyanna - posted on 02/05/2009

I think she is too young to be spoiled. My son was held all the time by family when he was little, and he is now 6 months and perfectly content if he isn't being held. My son hated tummy time, too. I didn't force it everyone kept telling me to give him time and he'll eventually start liking it. I would put him on his stomach until he got fussy. i wouldn't worry about holding her too much, she's little and its easy for her to get bored!